by Karey White
It was a perfect date.
Celia hadn’t dated much in Chicago. She changed high schools three times and it wasn’t easy to get to know people. A guy named Bralon had invited her to a place called Monkey Island to play arcade games and eat hot dogs with him and a group of friends. She had been so terrible at the arcade games that she had ended up being the butt of most of their jokes. After high school, her roommate, Cassidy, had insisted on setting her up with a friend of whatever boy she was dating at the time, but after two or three evenings with handsy guys who’d had too much to drink, she told Cassidy she wasn’t interested in any more arranged dates.
It didn’t even cross her mind that perhaps Silas didn’t like her in the way she had thought he did until she was going to bed that night. It had felt so pleasant to be with someone comfortable, someone she didn’t have to fight off. She refused to worry about how he might feel. If he only wanted friendship, that was okay with her. She could use a friend, and she suspected Silas could too.
“Busy afternoon?” Ellis walked into the gallery from the hallway that led to the parking lot in back.
“Not too many people,” Celia said with a grin. “But quality over quantity, right?”
Ellis grinned back and looked around the room, trying to figure out what had sold. His eyes rested on an empty spot on the wall. “You sold the ‘Spirited Appaloosa’?”
“They didn’t even ask for a discount.”
When Celia had started working for Ellis, he had instructed her that the prices were set so there was wiggle room if people wanted to negotiate. He was always willing to come down fifteen percent in order to make a sale.
“You got over eighteen hundred dollars for it?”
“Yep.” Celia was proud of herself. She had made sales before, but up until today, they had never been more than a few hundred dollars.
“Good work, young lady. I think I might need to give you more hours, which reminds me. My wife’s heading back to South Carolina to see her sister for a couple of weeks. I was thinking I might fly out and meet her for a few days. If you think you could handle the hours and Nancy’s garden. I don’t want to steal away her help.”
“If it’s only a few days, we could work it out. I can take care of the garden before I come in at ten.”
“It’d be a few long days for you, but I haven’t gone with her for years. And I thought maybe you could use the extra money.”
He was right about that. She wasn’t sure if it was the baby, the good food she ate at Nancy’s, or a combination of the two, but her jeans were definitely snugger than they had been when she’d arrived in Oregon.
“That would be great.” Celia retrieved her bag from under the counter. “I would have hung another picture, but I wasn’t sure what you’d want there.”
“I’ll probably give Nick a call and see if he has another piece he’d like to bring in.” Nicolas Heggerty was the artist who had painted “Spirited Appaloosa.” His paintings were of landscapes and animals, but they were a little abstract and done in unexpected colors. Suddenly Celia made a connection.
“Did he paint the pig at the bed and breakfast?”
Ellis looked pleased. “He did. You have a good eye.”
“I really liked that one.”
“Listen, Celia. Since you got full price, I’m going to give you a bonus for that sale.”
“You don’t have to—”
He held up his hand to stop her protest. “We’ll call it a commission.” Ellis opened the cash register, pulled out some bills, and stuffed them into an envelope. “I’m sure you can figure out something to do with this.”
Celia took the envelope, and Ellis walked with her to the door and held it open for her. “I’ll let you know next week what days I’ll need you.”
“Thank you, Ellis.”
Celia forced herself to wait until she was at home before she opened the envelope. Inside was two-hundred dollars. She fell to the bed and held the bills to her chest. She could buy some much-needed clothes.
Sisters was a lovely little town, but one thing it was short on was clothing stores. Maternity clothes were nonexistent. She would need to go to Bend, but how could she get there? Nancy would probably be thrilled to take her, but how would she explain her need for large, loose clothing?
Celia thought as she pulled weeds. Nancy’s garden had become one of her favorite places in the world. The plants were big and leafy and evidence that she had done a good job picking out the weeds and leaving the vegetables. Nancy had taught her how to use a digging fork to keep the dirt around the plants from becoming too packed down and hard. This let the plants breathe and made pulling the weeds easier. Celia looked at the even rows. Except for a small patch of string beans that had come up with sparse, yellow leaves, the garden looked good and Celia felt a sense of pride.
“Have you noticed the beans?” Celia asked as she scrubbed the dirt out from under her nails.
Nancy was sitting at the table paying bills. “Yes. They don’t look too good. I asked Jim about that and he said we probably need a crop rotation there.”
“They look like they’re dying. Do you think we’ll get any beans from them?”
“Probably not. He suggested we pull them out so they don’t leach any more nutrients out of the soil. I was going to pick up a couple of bags of compost from Organic Nation next time I’m in Bend. We can work that into the soil after we pull out the beans. Hopefully get it ready for next year.”
“I can go pick it up if you’d like me to. And I’ll get started clearing out that section,” Celia said as she dried her hands.
“Oh, Celia. I hate to pile extra work on you.”
“What extra work?” Silas asked as the back screen door slammed shut.
Nancy told him what they were talking about.
“I can help her clear it out.”
“And I can go get the compost while you two are at work tomorrow,” Celia said. “I need to pick up a few things anyway. If you don’t mind me taking your car, that is.”
“Take the Jeep. I’ll b-b—” Silas sighed and slowed down. “I’ll have my work truck anyway.”
Nancy still looked uncertain. “You don’t mind picking it up? They’ll help you load it.”
“I don’t mind. Just tell me where it is.” Celia tried to keep her voice sounding willing, but not too eager.
“I’ll draw you a map.”
And just like that, Celia had an opening to go to Bend on her own and buy clothes for her soon-to-be expanding figure.
Baby Bump Boutique was bursting right out of its maternity pants with adorableness. Portraits of beautiful mothers—either pregnant or holding new babies—were scattered around the boutique. Elegant dresses, stylish jeans, and casual workout wear filled racks. Mannequins with various sizes of stomachs displayed perfectly accessorized outfits. It even smelled like baby powder.
“Welcome to Baby Bump. Can I help you find anything?” The woman was a waif. Even with high heels, she only came to Celia’s shoulder and there was no way she could weigh in triple digits. Celia felt like a giant oaf. Was this really a good way to sell clothes to women whose girth would be expanding over the next nine months?
Celia looked around, overwhelmed. “I’m not sure what I’m even looking for.”
“Are you here for yourself or someone else?”
Suddenly Celia was very aware of her ringless finger and her worn clothes. She hated what people would think of her. At best it would look like she was careless and irresponsible, but some would see her growing belly and think she was immoral or promiscuous. It made her angry all over again, but what could she do? She couldn’t announce the rape to everyone who looked at her. Her reputation was one more thing Damien had taken from her that night. She wanted to be the kind of person who could forgive him, but all she ever felt when she thought of him was hatred. “I’m here for me.”
“Congratulations. How far along are you?”
“A little more than thirteen weeks.”
Celia wasn’t sure what to do. She thought about the two hundred dollars in her bag. She had hoped to keep some in case of an emergency.
“Do you have any sales racks?”
The woman looked disappointed. “Of course. Back there in the corner is our clearance rack. Everything on it is fifty percent off.”
“Thank you.”
Celia continued on to the discounted clothing, and the clerk went back to the sales counter. It may have been that she knew she wouldn’t make much off Celia, so why bother, or perhaps she was kind and was giving her some privacy. Celia didn’t care what the reason was. She was happy to be left alone. If only someone else would come into the shop so it wouldn’t just be Celia and the pixie.
It didn’t take long for Celia to realize that even at the clearance price, she couldn’t afford to shop here. Maybe she should have googled “how to get out of an expensive store and save face” instead of “maternity clothes Bend Oregon.”
Celia started toward the front door.
“Ma’am?” Celia had never been called ma’am before. She stopped and looked at the pretty, heart-shaped face of the miniature woman. Her expression looked sympathetic, and Celia subconsciously stiffened her back.
“Yes?”
“There’s a Walmart on Pinebrook and a really good thrift store on Second Street. Good luck with your new baby.”
Celia relaxed. How could she possibly be defensive with a woman who was trying to help her?
“Thank you.”
Three hours later, Celia drove back to Sisters with three forty-pound bags of compost, a loose-fitting, knit dress, a long, stretchy skirt, four shirts, one pair of jeans, roomy sweats, and new underwear. And she still had almost thirty dollars in her bag.
Nancy was standing by the back door when Celia came to the kitchen for breakfast Saturday morning. She poured herself a bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats and milk.
“What are you looking at?” she asked as she stepped up to the door.
“I’m watching Silas.”
Celia looked across the yard to the garden and saw Silas pulling up bean plants.
“Why didn’t he wait for me?”
“Guess he was being thoughtful.”
“Well, that’s nice of him, but I’m the one getting my board here for taking care of the garden.” Celia stepped past Nancy and out onto the porch. “Hey, Silas,” she yelled.
Silas looked up and lifted a bean-plant-filled hand in greeting.
“What are you doing?”
Silas grinned and called back to her. “Killing b-beans.”
Celia turned around and saw Nancy smirking. “Has he had breakfast?”
Nancy shrugged. “I don’t know. He doesn’t usually keep me posted on his breakfast.”
Celia turned back around. “Have you eaten?”
Silas put his hand to his ear and Celia shouted louder. “Have you eaten?”
Silas nodded and pulled up another bean plant.
Celia headed back in the house and banged her bowl onto the counter. “What’s he doing? He should have waited for me,” she said under her breath.
“Celia, stop.” Nancy had followed her across the kitchen and put her hand on Celia’s arm. “He probably wanted to help you. Let him. You sit down and eat your breakfast and then you can go help him.”
“He’ll probably be finished.”
“Then you can help him with the compost. But eat first. I promise I won’t evict you because Silas pulled more bean plants than you.” Celia sighed and took her bowl to the table. “And don’t go being all women’s libber on him when he comes in. He was being thoughtful, so all you have to say is thank you.”
Celia was tying her shoes when Silas walked through the door. “You should have come and got me. I would have helped you.”
“It was a surprise. You weren’t supposed to catch me.”
Celia glanced at Nancy. “Thanks. It was a nice surprise.” Silas looked pleased. “But I want to help with the compost.”
“Whenever you’re ready.”
Nancy knocked on Celia’s door. “The phone’s for you.”
It was Silas. “I can’t go to Tumalo Falls today. I’m taking M-Mark’s shift. They had a b-baby last night. I’m sorry.”
Celia was surprised how disappointed she felt. “That’s okay. Maybe we can do it another time.”
“How about Wednesday?”
“Sure. Wednesday’s good.”
“Great. M-maybe I’ll see you after work.”
Silas hadn’t said he would come to church with her before their hike, but she had hoped he would. Now the hike was off and if she went to church, she would go alone.
Celia took a deep breath and went to her room to change. Sure, it was a letdown that their plans were off, but on the scale of her life’s disappointments, this was barely a blip.
So why did she feel like it bleached all the color from the day?
Today was the day. Silas had been gearing himself up since he and Celia had composted the bean patch on Saturday. When they hiked to Tumalo Falls, he would hold her hand and when he took her home, he would hug her goodbye. Maybe, if the stars aligned, he would even try for a kiss. He had spent the last few days planning and plotting. About halfway to the falls, there was a steep, rocky area. He’d lead out then casually reach back and take Celia’s hand to pull her up. Once he had made that initial contact, it would be easy to do it again, like at the spot where they’d leave the trail so he could show her where he had found the little campground the rescued couple had set up.
All he had to do was man up. He could do this. He had fought deadly forest fires. He had helped on search and rescue assignments. He had even come face to face with a bull moose during mating season. He wasn’t a coward.
So why did this feel so much scarier?
When Mark had called to see if he could take his shift, Silas had been both frustrated and relieved. But all the extra time had done was make him more determined. And more nervous.
Silas glanced at Celia sitting in the passenger seat. How was it possible to look so good when you weren’t even trying? She wore no makeup, her hair was in a ponytail and she had on a too-big pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. And still she looked pretty. Celia caught him looking at her and smiled. He needed to keep his eyes on the road.
“So you get to drive through this every day?”
Silas nodded. “It’s a good job.”
“What made you decide to be a forest ranger?”
He never told people the real reason. He usually said it was because of how much he loved nature and how beautiful it was, but something about Celia made him want to tell the truth. The whole truth.
“I get to b-be alone most of the time and I don’t have to talk very m-much.”
Celia nodded like she understood then she gave him a teasing smile. “You can take me home if you’d rather be alone.”
Silas looked thoughtful. “Hmm. Tempting.”
“I mean, I’ve really been looking forward to seeing some of Oregon besides Sisters and Bend, but I don’t want to spoil your solitude.”
“Maybe I should drop you off. You could m-make it home by dark. I think.”
“If you’re going to do that, please pull over and do it now.”
Silas slowed the Jeep and pulled off the road. Before he came to a complete stop, he shook his head and
pulled back onto the road. “Whatever. I guess I can deal with you for long enough to see the falls.”
“You’re a generous man, Silas. I’m very grateful.”
Silas felt proud of his forest as they drove. He traveled these roads so often, sometimes he forgot how beautiful it was, but as Celia pointed out distant peaks or the sun-dappled road that wound between sky-high trees, it was like he was seeing it through fresh eyes.
They parked at the Tumalo Falls trailhead and Silas grabbed the backpack he’d prepared with water and snacks.
“Do we need to pay?” Celia asked as they walked past the fee collection board.
“No. One of the perks of the job.”
Mother Nature must be on Silas’s side, because she gift-wrapped a perfect day for them. It would have been too hot, but a soft, cool breeze kept it comfortable. Birds serenaded them as they walked up the trail. White, fluffy clouds moved slowly across the sky. The forest was bright and vibrant, but peaceful at the same time.
They were almost to the spot Silas had pictured in his mind. The gentle slope of the trail became steep and what had been a mostly smooth path became uneven and rocky. “Watch your step,” he told her and he looked up at the place they would have to climb up and around several large boulders. That’s where he would do it. He’d climb around them then warn her of the rocks as he reached back and took her hand, helping her over the hazardous stretch.
Silas’s heartrate increased as his nerves kicked in. He could do it. He could do it. He could do it.
“Do you mind if we stop for some water?” Celia asked, interrupting his silent pep talk.