Seasons of Sugarcreek 03. Autumn's Promise

by Shelley Shepard Gray

  It was moments like this—when he and his perfect older brother Joshua felt in sync and his efforts were noticed—that Caleb wondered if he was making a huge mistake, wanting to leave the order. Maybe he already had everything he should want? Maybe he fit in more than he’d thought. The idea that he was settling into everything he’d been fighting so hard made his stomach knot.

  But, then, he remembered the conversation he’d had with some boys at a recent singing. They had talked about the rumors circling Mrs. Miller. How she’d helped those Amish brothers make their way out of Sugarcreek. Those rumors had spiked his interest. Made him imagine the possibilities that could be in his life.

  The door opened. “Good afternoon!” a trio of ladies chirped as they scattered through the store. Five minutes later, another crowd of tourists flew in.

  And then finally, from the back, came Judith and Anson. Right away, Judith was all business, darting over to customers and helping them look at fabric. Anson, however, wore a disgruntled look. “Do I have to stay, Caleb? A bunch of kids are at the market.”

  “Of course you have to stay here and work,” he replied. “This store is full.”

  “But you and Judith are here.”

  “Accept your responsibilities, bruder,” Caleb snapped.

  “Both Joshua and I are tired of you acting like you’re five.” Before Anson could whine, Caleb pointed to a group of customers near the bulk food aisle. “Now, you go offer your help.”

  “But—”

  “Now. And don’t you dart off, either. You’re going to need to help unbox the latest shipment of spices.”

  He wrinkled his nose. “I hate doing that.”

  “That hardly matters. You’ll do it, and do it well, too. I’ll be watching you.”

  With a scowl, Anson folded his arms across his chest. “You don’t have to be so mean, you know.”

  Caleb mimicked his brother’s militant stance. “You haven’t even seen mean…yet.”

  When Anson finally did as he was told, Judith beamed and, moments later, walked over to join Caleb. “I can’t tell you how happy I am that you said all that. He bellyached the whole way here.”

  “Joshua and I agree he’s gotten lazy. I’ve had enough of everyone pampering him.”

  Judith chuckled, then smiled warmly. Two women began to ask for her help in the baked-goods section just as three people came to stand in line at the cash register.

  Caleb rang them up with ease. Unlike Anson, he’d never been given the choice of how to spend his days.

  Unlike Anson, he’d always had to do what was expected of him. Always. For a moment, he couldn’t help but let envy float over him. What would his life be like if he’d had more chances to play? If he hadn’t felt the strictures of this way of life so tightly? Would he still yearn to go away?

  Of course, none of that mattered now. Dreaming about what-ifs didn’t get things done. They only led to regret.

  After practically slamming the front door behind her, Lilly rushed into Robert’s workshop in a panic. “Am I late?” she asked. “If you’ve been waiting forever on me, I’m so sorry. First my mom started asking twenty questions about where I was going. Then I had to change clothes, and then there was traffic…” Lilly let her voice trail off as she caught hold of Robert’s look. It was full of amusement. “Sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I enjoy the way you always go on and on.”

  “Always? I don’t always talk about nothing nonstop.” A sinking feeling settled in as he continued to grin. “Do I?”

  “Not so much.” Right away, he led the way outside. After locking the front door, he walked her to his horse and buggy. “At least, not that I’ve noticed,” he teased.

  Lilly smiled right back at him for a moment before stepping carefully on the small metal platform that hung midway between the buggy and the ground. She swayed a bit. It was higher than she’d realized.

  Robert reached out and took her arm. “Easy, now. Some say this step takes a bit of getting used to.”

  Feeling more secure now that he was holding her elbow with a firm grip, she scooted onto the bench covered in leather and tried to acclimate herself to the unfamiliar sensation of sitting in a contraption attached to a horse. When Robert easily hopped in next to her, he let go of the brake, then gave a low whistle to the horse. In no time, they were off.

  As they clipped along, she felt the air flutter the curls in her hair and luxuriated in the first signs of autumn. Oh, she loved the way the leaves on the trees changed colors and the crisp scent of fall permeated the air.

  “Your buggy’s different than the Grabers’.”

  “How so?”

  “There’s no top. And no Plexiglas.”

  He smiled. “I have one of those at home. This here’s called a courting buggy.”

  That caught her off guard. “Courting?”

  A faint haze of red colored his cheeks. “Um, ‘courting’ is just a descriptive term,” he mumbled. “See, this size is smaller than the one you see at the Grabers’, and it’s a bit spiffier.”

  Something told Lilly that he wasn’t being completely honest. But since she already was feeling a little self-conscious by his side, she latched onto another descriptor. “Spiffier, huh?” She bounced a bit in the seat experimentally. “I like it.”

  “Me, as well.” Just like he was in a car, he waited for a break in traffic, then turned right on the road. A flick of the reins brought them moving at a fairly quick pace. Of course, it was far slower than the cars zipping by.

  Scooting toward him a bit, she murmured, “Hey, Robert? Can I ask you something?”

  “Of course.”

  Now that she had his attention, she almost didn’t dare ask it. But how could she not? “Robert…why did you ask me to go to the market with you?”

  He glanced her way, before guiding the horse to a stop at a traffic light. “Truth?”

  “Truth.” She never failed to enjoy pushing his words right back at him. “I’m glad you asked me. I’m just curious.”

  “All right.” For a moment, he looked to be gathering his courage. Lilly watched in some amusement as his cheeks puffed up. Finally he blurted, “The fact is, I don’t know.”

  That surprised a laugh from her. “What?”

  When the light turned green, he flicked his horse’s reins. With a jerk, the buggy rolled forward. “That’s the truth. There’s something about you that has struck my fancy. I wanted to see you more. I wanted to get to know you more than just at work. There’s only so much coffee a man can drink.”

  “Have you been coming to the inn so much because I worked there?”

  “Did you really doubt it?”

  “I never thought about it.”

  “If you never thought about it, why did you say yes, Lilly?”

  His question was legitimate. What they were doing wasn’t a common occurrence, and no amount of pretending would change the fact that most Amish men and English girls did not go out together on a whim.

  “Probably for the same reasons as you. I wanted to spend more time with you.” Daring to be even more honest, she added, “When you asked, I didn’t want to say no.”

  “I thought you might refuse me. A friendship between us, it would be unusual…”

  “Probably.” She fingered the denim fabric on her jeans. They were loose and dark. Far from the slim-fitting jeans she used to wear in high school. But they were jeans all the same. The long-sleeved T-shirt and fleece jacket were modest enough…but again, a far cry from the clothes Robert wore. From the dresses the women in his life wore. “On the surface, I’d say we are pretty different.”

  “We are different. But that is no surprise” He cleared his throat. “Even though I don’t know why I asked, and you don’t know why you said yes…even though we are so very different…I’m still glad you came.”

  “I am too,” she murmured.

  She said nothing more as they turned right again, and slowly made the way to an open barnlike structure lined with a
large maze of booths, tables, and displays. As Robert guided his buggy, the buzz of people and activity sounded like a beehive.

  All the activity was exhilarating. And a relief. The market was going to be too noisy to have another serious conversation. Too crowded to even try.

  As she glanced at the array of people in attendance, Lilly was struck by the many differences among them. Amish. English. Young kids. Grandparents. Most were grouped in clusters of two or three. With the exception of families, most were walking with their own kind. Teenagers with other teens. Amish men together. She saw no pairs of English women and Amish men walking together.

  Perhaps it was a natural thing to look for commonalities and be suspicious of differences. That’s what she and her girlfriends had been taught to do. Look for friends who lived in the same area. Who attended the same schools. Who liked the same activities. Belonged to the same churches.

  Although it wasn’t said outright, it seemed the message was to stay away from people who were too different.

  “We’re here,” Robert announced, shattering her reverie. He hopped out easily, then wandered over to his horse and tied her reins to a post.

  Lilly slowly scrambled down and swung her purse on her shoulder. As an afterthought, she picked up Robert’s basket and looked out at the orderliness that was an Amish market.

  Just beyond was a large cornfield. A hand-painted sign was posted at the front, inviting all gathered to try the maze. Smells of horses and hay and popcorn filled the air, reminding Lilly of a carnival.

  She was excited. More excited about going with Robert on this simple outing than she had been about any activity in ages. “Where do you want to go first?” she asked in a rush. “What are you looking for? Anything special?”

  He almost smiled. “Nee.” “Should we plan our route? I, for one, am hoping to find some quilt fabric. I’m going to give quilting a try.”

  “You’ll find plenty of fabric and quilting supplies here.” They walked two or three steps, then he suddenly stopped. “My cousin is here. With his wife.”

  “Okay,” she said slowly. Robert looked incredibly ill at ease. “I’ll look forward to meeting them.”

  If anything, he looked more pained. “They might not be verra kind. They tried to persuade me not to bring you here.”

  Lilly didn’t have to ask why. “What do you want me to do if they approach you?”

  “Do? You can do whatever you want. Just be Lilly.” He looked so perturbed, she couldn’t believe it. “Are you sure?”

  “Very sure. I just wanted to warn you, that’s all. They may not be especially friendly. I didn’t want you to be offended.”

  “I won’t,” she promised. “Besides, I’m sure they’re just curious about us.”

  “Oh, they’re curious, all right.”

  His sarcastic tone made her laugh. “I get it. They don’t want you keeping company with me.”

  “It’s nothing personal.”

  “Then I won’t take it personally. I’ll smile and say hi. And nothing else.”

  To her surprise, he chuckled. “Again, it’s not your behavior I’m worried about.”

  Together, they joined the throng of people, and as they walked from booth to booth, looking at Amish-made baskets and crafts, stacks of homegrown fruits and vegetables, and rows and rows of canned jams and jellies, they wandered slowly and pointed out little details. Lilly spied a puppy. Robert grinned at an old man enjoying a bright red licorice whip.

  As the minutes passed, Lilly became less aware of how the pair of them must look to others and more focused on the man at her side.

  Robert was a thoughtful man—seemed to have a kind word for most people—but he was also kind of standoff-ish. She knew instinctively that his behavior wasn’t just because she was by his side. It was his nature to be a bit removed from the others.

  They’d just purchased cups of freshly squeezed lemonade when he stiffened by her side. “Oh. Hello, Abe. Mary.”

  A group of five people, three men and two women, stopped right in front of them. “Robert,” one said, completely ignoring Lilly. “So you decided to come after all?”

  “I told you I would be here. It’s no surprise.”

  “Robert, would you like to join us for dinner?”

  “I already have plans.” When he looked toward her, his gaze softened. “As you can see.”

  Though Lilly had just promised that no one’s rude behavior would bother her, she slowly felt her nerves start to fray. It was awkward, standing there, half smiling. Waiting for someone to introduce her. Or, for them at least to acknowledge that she was standing there. But not a one of them did. Actually, all five of them seemed to be staring straight through her. As if she didn’t exist.

  Beside her, Robert looked uneasy. It was obvious he was embarrassed about their rudeness. “This is Lilly Allen,” he blurted.

  She raised a hand. “Hi.”

  Slowly, they all turned her way. One of the women nodded in her direction. Then, practically in unison, they looked away again. It would have been comical if she hadn’t felt so bad for Robert.

  A man about Robert’s age spoke up. “So, Robert, will we see you at church tomorrow?”

  “Of course.”

  “It’s at the Grabers’, you know.”

  “I haven’t forgotten.”

  “We could pick you up.”

  “There’s no reason to do that,” Robert replied, his voice turning sharp. “I know my way to the Grabers’. I’ve never been late for services.” Abruptly, he turned to her. “Lilly, there’s some kittens down the way. Would you care to see them?” The look he gave her was almost pleading.

  “Of course.” She tried to smile at his friends again, but her lips froze as she caught their cool glares.

  Continuing to look irritated, Robert led her down a row of booths. When they’d walked a good twenty steps, he stopped. “I know they were discourteous. However, I cannot apologize for them. I’m embarrassed, too. And, I promise, I had no part in their actions.”

  His honesty made her insides melt a bit. “I didn’t mind. Well, not too much.”

  “Not too much?”

  There was so much hope in his voice, so much doubt. So much of the same confusion she was feeling, Lilly knew she’d say anything to help ease the situation. “Actually, I think…I think I kind of understood.” When he gazed at her in confusion, she attempted to explain.

  “The Grabers hadn’t liked my friendship with Joshua at first. They were sure he was going to leave them all to be with me. But once they understood I wasn’t a threat, they settled down. I, um, bet your friends will come to the same conclusions. Once they realize we’re just friends. Now, are there really kittens over here?”

  “Of course. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

  “Then let’s go see them. I have to tell you, I’m a sucker for kittens and puppies.”

  “What girl isn’t?” He grinned, then pulled her toward the end of the row, pausing finally as he greeted an elderly man sitting next to a crate of eight kittens. “Eli, hello.”

  “Robert. Good day. And to you too, miss.”

  “Hi. May I step in and pet the kittens?”

  “That’s what they’re here for.” He waved a hand. “Come on in. They are desperate for a little bit of affection.”

  Lilly didn’t need another bit of coaxing. She crouched down and gently petted a tiger-striped ball of fur.

  Interested, the tiny cat turned and pounced toward her hand. Before long, the others had decided to play, too. Next thing she knew, she was sitting on the ground holding three cats. Another two were playing with the laces on her boots. “I love them,” she murmured. “Thank you for taking me here.”

  As Robert watched Lilly, her expression turning soft and sweet, he was struck by the rush of tender feelings that were pooling inside of him. She was lovely, sitting there, holding two kittens up to her face.

  She looked so happy.

  “Would you like one?” he asked impulsively.<
br />
  She blinked. “I couldn’t—”

  “Why not? Cats are not much trouble.”

  “My parents would probably get mad…”

  “You sure? A kitten seems like a small enough thing.” He smiled at his quip. The tiny kittens were definitely small.

  Lilly looked at him for a moment, then, to his surprise, tears formed in her eyes. “You’re right.” Looking to Eli, she smiled. “Actually, I think I would like one. How much are they?”

  “Not much. I only want reimbursement for the shots they need.” He shrugged. “Twenty-five dollars?”

  Robert pulled out his wallet. “Sold.”

  Lilly scrambled to her feet. “Wait! This is too much. I can’t let you buy a cat for me—”

  “I think he already is, English,” Eli said.

  Robert laughed. “Her name’s Lilly.”

  “It’s a fine name.” Holding out his hand, he took the money and promptly put it in a wooden box by his side.

  “Get you a cat, Lilly.”

  Around her, the kittens were meowing and each looking at her with wide eyes. One tried to climb her boot. With a laugh, she pulled it off her laces, then held it up to her face. “Are you my cat?” She picked up another one, this one almost all black. “Or are you?”

  Its four legs hung limply as it looked at her pleadingly. “Oh, Robert, they’re all so cute! I can’t decide.” As a curl fell across her brow, she tried to blow it away. “I’m sorry. I bet you’re ready to go…”

  He was enjoying himself more than he could remember in years. It was a pleasure to watch someone be so happy over something so little. Leaning back against the fence, he grinned. “We’re in no hurry. Take all the time you want, English.”

  Lilly wrinkled her nose. “You know, I should be upset with you for calling me that.”

  “Are you upset?”

  She shook her head. “I’m not sure why, though.”

  He had a feeling he knew. There was a spark between them that pressed the bounds of the usual budding relationship. There was a connection between them that was tenuous.

  No, what was forming between them wasn’t all tender and sweet. Instead, there was a healthy dose of nervousness and ambiguity. Just standing next to her made his skin feel extra sensitive. Made all his senses a little bit heightened.