Tender Journeys

by Janelle Jamison

  “It is nice,” Jenny agreed and spread her calico skirt out in an attractive manner.

  “I missed seeing you yesterday,” David began, “and I couldn’t get you out of my mind.”

  Jenny’s heart gave a leap. “You couldn’t?” she whispered.

  “Truth is, since the first day you walked into the church looking like a drowned rat, I haven’t been able to put you far from my thoughts.” David said with a smile.

  “Drowned rat, eh?” Jenny questioned, cocking her head to one side.

  David’s smile broadened. “But a very fetching drowned rat.” Jenny blushed and said nothing. “Look, Jenny,” David continued, “I’ve been very worried about you for reasons I can’t explain. I guess the Lord has laid a burden of concern on my heart for you.”

  “I don’t understand,” Jenny replied. “Why would God want you to worry about me?”

  “He cares for you, Jenny,” David stated evenly. “He wants the best for you, and perhaps, this is His way of getting you to see that.”

  “I haven’t had much religion in my life since the Indians killed my family. I’m not sure I can trust enough to believe all those things you say about God,” Jenny admitted.

  “Trust is a big part of Christian faith. People are always wanting answers for the things that happen in their lives. Something bad takes place and people want to receive an immediate answer from the Almighty for the wherefores and whys.”

  “Trust is hard when you’ve got nothing to base it on,” Jenny said as she picked at the scraggly yellow grass.

  “God’s love is the best foundation you could ever have. Trust matures and grows with each day that you give yourself over to Him. God loves all His children and wants them to know and believe in His love.”

  “Even the Indians?” Jenny questioned and eyed David’s face.

  David’s expression softened. “Even the Indians, Jenny. You can’t condemn an entire race of people for the actions of a few. A renegade band of Apaches attacked your wagon train and killed your loved ones—not all Indian nations, not even the entire Apache tribe. Jenny, just as there are evil people among the whites, there is evil among other races as well.”

  “I’ve never thought of it that way,” Jenny had to admit. “I’ve always thought all Indians were alike.”

  “Up in the town of Cimarron, some pretty tough characters caused a lot of trouble. Would it be fair if the rest of the nation judged the people of the New Mexico Territory by those few troubled souls in Cimarron?”

  “No, I suppose it wouldn’t.”

  “Jenny, I know you’re hurting and I know your loss is great. But you’ve grieved your loss for six years and held a consuming bitterness for just as long. You’ll never be happy or at peace until you let go of that bitterness. And Jenny,” David paused, “I think the reason you came into the church that first day was because you’re seeking some peace of mind. Isn’t that true?”

  Jenny looked out across the valley. David’s words had hit a nerve. How could he so easily identify her heart’s deepest secrets? Finally, she spoke.

  “I would like to sleep without the nightmares. Just once, I’d like to go to bed and not fear falling asleep.”

  “Jesus can give you that kind of peace, Jenny, but you must let go of your anger. I know it won’t be easy, but I’ll help you any way I can, and God will give you the strength you need to conquer your fears.”

  “He can’t give me back my family, though,” Jenny said sadly.

  “But your family belonged to God,” David offered. “You said your mother was a Christian.”

  “Oh, my pa and brothers were too,” Jenny said with a glimmer of hope in her voice.

  “Then you’ll see them again in heaven. Didn’t anyone ever tell you one day we’ll all be reunited with our loved ones in heaven? If you belong to God, you’re His on earth and in heaven. In John 11:25-26, Jesus said, ‘I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. Believest thou this?’ ”

  “Do you believe it?” Jenny asked, feeling completely at ease with David’s tender approach. “Do you believe God can take away the hurt?”

  “I know He can, Jenny. I believe in salvation through Jesus Christ with all my heart. It’s the reason I became a minister. I wanted very much to share the Gospel with a hurting world.”

  “I have to admit, nothing else has worked. I want very much to get on with my life and not always be concentrating on the pain and memories of what used to be.”

  David smiled and reached out to take hold of Jenny’s hand. “I knew you felt this way. I felt so strongly that God wanted me to share this with you.”

  “What do I do now?” Jenny questioned.

  “Well,” David said with a smile, “further in the book of John, Jesus is preparing to raise a dear friend of his from the dead. Jesus went to the tomb and told the people there, ‘Take ye away the stone.’ Jenny you need to take away the stone. You need to forgive what happened to your family and allow God to deal with the people involved.”

  “It won’t be easy,” Jenny said, tears sliding down her cheeks.

  “No, not in your own power but in God’s unlimited power, you have all the help you’ll need.”

  “I want God to take away my stone. I want to be free once and for all, but I need time to think about this.”

  David let go of Jenny’s hand and reached out to wipe a tear from her face. “Then we’ll tell God all about it and trust Him to minister to your heart.”

  Chapter 4

  David began to appear on Jenny’s doorstep on a regular basis, and to Jenny’s relief he never again mentioned her need of people her own age.

  Most mornings they would venture around the city of Santa Fe. Jenny would point out different buildings and explain all she’d learned during her six-year stay in the city. The city was much bigger than David had anticipated, and with the expanded population came a bigger need for God.

  One morning, Jenny took David to the Mission of San Miguel on the east side of the city.

  “This mission is nearly three hundred years old,” she explained as she paused for David to study the building. The first level held a second, smaller floor and on top of that was yet another smaller level. The pattern was repeated twice and gave the small mission a tower. Behind the first and second stories, the building spread out to form the remainder of the chapel.

  “It’s hard to imagine anything being here that long,” David said as he considered the adobe and stone frame.

  “It’s thought to be the oldest mission in the United States,” Jenny stated, “although much of the original mission was destroyed during the Pueblo Revolt. The Spanish rebuilt it in 1710.”

  “Ed told me the Pueblo had tired of Spanish domination, especially where their religious practices were concerned,” David said and continued to study the structure. He felt awed by being able to touch history in a way few people would ever enjoy.

  “Yes,” Jenny said as she remembered the things she’d been told by others. “The Spanish, primarily the church leaders, were so concerned about the welfare of the people that some of the Indians were hanged as witches. Eventually, the Pueblos decided enough was enough. They held the entire countryside captive and killed everyone that moved along the way.”

  “I can’t imagine the Indians being able to drive the mighty Spanish from this area,” David said absentmindedly.

  “The ‘mighty Spanish,’ as you call them, were forced to take refuge behind protective walls. The Indians were slaughtering everything in sight and were unwilling to settle for anything short of the complete withdrawal of the Spanish.” Animosity colored Jenny’s voice, and David decided to drop the issue.

  They walked in silence as Jenny led David back to the plaza
at the center of town. They paused to sit on a bench near the gazebo that stood at the center of the plaza.

  “I’m intrigued by that building over there. I’ve heard it called by many names,” David said as he tried to reestablish conversation.

  “I suppose it usually goes by the name of Casas Reales. It means ‘royal houses’ in Spanish,” Jenny replied. “I’ve heard it called the Adobe Place and El Palacio. Some descendants of the nobility still call it the Palacio Real or ‘royal palace.’ The Spanish king directed his people to build it as housing for his appointed governors. This is where the Spanish took refuge during the Pueblo Revolt.”

  “I had no idea it was that old.”

  “It’s thought to have been built around 1609, some seventy-one years before the revolt,” Jenny offered.

  “You’ve certainly learned a great deal about the city,” David complimented.

  Jenny smiled and pulled her shawl close. A breeze coming down from the mountains was chilling her. David immediately noticed and suggested they make their way back to her house.

  “You haven’t mentioned Mrs. Morgan lately,” David said as he took hold of Jenny’s arm and helped her across the street.

  “Not much to mention. Natty sleeps late most mornings and doesn’t know whether or not I’m in the house. I don’t see it as her concern anyway. I’m nearly grown and have to start thinking about what I’m going to do with the rest of my life. I can’t stay with her much longer.”

  “I’m surprised you’ve stayed this long. The woman obviously depends upon you for her living.”

  “Not really, Jenny said with a shrug. “She’s a pretty fair gambler. Most of her money for gambling and drinking comes from her own sources. My earnings keep food in the house and pay the rent. I figure I can do that on my own just as easily as I can living with Natty. In fact, I think it would be a whole lot easier.”

  “No doubt,” David agreed. “But wouldn’t it be a bit, well, a bit risqué? I mean, a young single woman living alone in the city doesn’t seem fitting.”

  Jenny laughed. “Apparently, Pastor Ed hasn’t told you much about the uninhibited lifestyle of many in this city. Many of the married men not only keep mistresses, but their wives have, well,” Jenny paused, blushing slightly, “shall we say, friends of their own.”

  “I had no idea,” David admitted. “Do Mrs. Morgan’s friends ever, uh. . .” David hesitated. “Do they ever bother you?”

  Jenny’s flushed face darkened. “She has some friends who make me quite uncomfortable. Mostly it’s just the way they look at me. No one has ever touched me or caused me any grief, if that’s what you mean. Why do you ask?”

  David stopped as they reached Jenny’s house. He took Jenny’s hands in his and tried to find the words to explain his apprehension. “You’re a beautiful young woman and it concerns me you’re subjected to such a vile lifestyle. Please be careful.”

  David’s worried expression touched Jenny’s heart. Perhaps he did care for her, at least a little. “I will be,” Jenny whispered and grew uncomfortable in the silence that fell between them.

  “Will you have time to walk tomorrow?” David asked as he dropped his hands.

  Jenny crossed her arms protectively against her body and raised her brown eyes to meet David’s stare. “I should,” she replied shyly. It felt so wonderful to have David’s companionship, and Jenny was reluctant to enjoy it for fear it would be snatched from her.

  “Good,” David said with a smile. “There’s somebody I want to introduce you to. I’ll come by around eight.” Jenny nodded and watched for several minutes as David disappeared down the street.

  She carried the warmth of David’s smile with her as she went up the stone walkway, unmindful of the woman who watched her from the house.

  “So that’s the way it is,” Natty Morgan muttered. Not wanting Jenny to find her, Natty quickly returned to her bedroom and plotted how she would handle this unwelcome change.

  The following morning at exactly eight o’clock, Jenny answered the door to find David decked out in his best suit. “Oh my,” Jenny said with a frown as she glanced down at her simple, pale blue, cotton gown. “I didn’t expect to dress up.”

  “No need for you to,” David said with a grin. “You always look perfect.”

  Jenny lowered her face but smiled at the compliment. It was becoming clear to her that David shared her deep feelings for their relationship.

  “Are you ready?” David asked.

  “Yes,” Jenny said as she took her heavy wool shawl to ward off the morning chill.

  She closed the door quietly behind her and took David’s arm as he led the way down the street.

  Natty Morgan slipped quietly from her bedroom and watched the young couple move down the road toward Washington Avenue. Why hadn’t she realized Jenny was nearly a grown woman?

  The robust woman pulled on a silk wrapper and poured herself a cup of the coffee Jenny had kept warming on the stove. How old was the child anyway? Sixteen? Seventeen? Certainly marriageable age, and if that were to happen, what would become of Natty’s lifestyle? She depended on the child to wait on her and to keep their meager home together. Natty contemplated the situation for a long time before taking herself back to bed.

  David led the way to the Exchange Hotel. “We’re supposed to wait here,” he said as he turned to Jenny. Her questioning face betrayed her concern. David’s brow furrowed momentarily, then it dawned on him that leading Jenny to the Exchange Hotel was most inappropriate.

  “I’m sorry, Jenny. I never thought of how this might look to you or anyone else. Why don’t I take you across the street to the park and let you wait there? I’ll come back here and,” David’s words were interrupted by a rousing greeting from another huge, blond man.

  “David!” The man rushed through the doors of the Exchange Hotel and crushed David with a bear hug. Jenny watched them silently as did a young, blond woman who was standing behind the stranger.

  “Daniel, I’m so glad you’re finally here. I brought someone for you to meet,” David said as he reached back and pulled Jenny to stand beside him. “This is Jenny Oberling, my best friend in Santa Fe. Jenny, this is my older brother, Dr. Daniel Monroe. He’s come to answer an advertisement. Seems folks up north of Santa Fe want a doctor.”

  “Dr. Monroe,” Jenny said as she extended her small hand and found it engulfed in Daniel’s large, well-manicured one.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Jenny. And,” Daniel said as he pulled the blond woman from behind him, “this is my wife, Katie.”

  “Wife?” David said in shocked surprised. “You never said anything about a wife in your letter. When did you get married?”

  “David,” Jenny found herself admonishing the young pastor, “don’t be rude. It’s very nice to meet you, Katie,” she added as she took Katie’s hand. “Even nicer still to have someone who’s near my own age. At least David keeps telling me I need to circulate among that crowd.”

  Daniel laughed out loud at David’s stunned expression. “I’ve never seen anybody able to render him speechless. It’s indeed a pleasure to meet you, Miss Oberling.”

  “Yes,” Katie agreed and gave Jenny’s hand a squeeze. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

  Jenny suddenly grew embarrassed at her bold words, but before she could say anything further, David drew their attention to Katie’s condition. “Why, Daniel, you’ve not only married a beautiful woman, but if I’m not mistaken, she’s going to make me an uncle in a very short time.”

  “That was my prognosis,” Daniel said with a smile. Katie blushed, and Jenny noticed her well-rounded stomach as David continued to pat his brother on the back.

  “How wonderful,” Jenny said and David agreed.

  David glanced at the street clock. “Have you had breakfast yet?”

  Daniel and Katie no
dded. “The long trip exhausted us both so much we fell into bed without a bite of supper,” Daniel explained. “This morning we ate like ranch hands.”

  Katie laughed. “That’s for sure. I don’t think half of this is as much baby as it is fried eggs and ham,” she said, patting her stomach.

  “Well then,” David offered, “perhaps a walk. I’ve the best tour guide in all Santa Fe.” They all glanced at Jenny who felt her face grow hot under the startling blue eyes of the Monroe brothers.

  “I’d love to see more of the city,” Katie said, breaking the silence. “I’ve only seen what little the street lamps afforded me last night.”

  “I’d be happy to show it to you.” Jenny said as she turned to David. “Where should we start?”

  The rest of the morning was spent in nonstop chatter about the city and the old relics and buildings that gracefully lined its streets. When Jenny suddenly realized it was nearly noon, she stopped in her tracks with a stricken look.

  “What is it, Jenny?” David asked, concerned she’d taken ill.

  “I forgot about Natty,” Jenny admitted. “She’ll be up by now and wondering where I am. There will be a price to pay for this splendid morning.”

  “I’ll take you home right now,” David said as he turned to speak with Daniel.

  “No,” Jenny insisted. “Natty had better not see you coming down the street with me. It would be best if I go ahead alone. Dr. Monroe, Mrs. Monroe, it was a pleasure to meet you. I hope we can spend more time together.”

  “Only if you call us Daniel and Katie,” David’s brother said with genuine affection.

  “Yes, please,” Katie said as she placed her hand upon Jenny’s arm. “I’d like for us to be friends.”

  Jenny forgot her lonely, empty life and basked in the warmth of her newfound friendships. David shook his head in wonder. Could she really be the same scared and angry young woman who had burst into his life only weeks before?

  Jenny hurried through the streets of Santa Fe and found Natty Morgan angrily pacing the floor.