Tender Journeys

by Janelle Jamison

  “Should you leave a note for Mrs. Morgan?”

  “I suppose I should,” Jenny conceded. She jotted a few words on a piece of paper and followed David out the door.

  At the depot, a special train had been arranged for the express purpose of getting the pastor and his party back to the seasonal holding pens, which adjoined the property where Daniel and Katie had taken residence. The mood was set in the somber expression of the brakeman and conductor as David and Jenny climbed the stairs and took their seats on the short, four car train.

  The train’s crews had come to have a special affection for Mrs. Daniel Monroe. Every time they made water stops, Katie would come out and offer them cookies warm from the oven or pieces of her homemade pie. She’d won them over with her easygoing nature and laughing voice. Each crew member felt he owed a special debt to the tiny woman who would soon bring another life into the world.

  The train had been stoked and was ready to make the trip before David had been notified, so it was no surprise when it pulled out before David and Jenny had taken their seats.

  Jenny was thrown back against the hard wooden seat and stared open-mouthed as the scenery rushed past them. She’d never ridden on a train before, and the rocking motion was relaxing her against her will.

  “Jenny,” David’s worried voice broke through her wonderment.

  “Yes?”

  “Will you pray with me?” he questioned as he took hold of her hand.

  Jenny’s heart nearly broke for the man beside her. His concern was clearly etched in every line on his face. “Of course,” she replied, wondering what he might expect of her.

  David smiled slightly and squeezed Jenny’s hand. When he bowed his head, she did likewise and waited in silence for him to speak.

  “Father, I need You so much,” David prayed in an earnestness Jenny had never heard voiced in prayer. “We all need You. We need You to go before us and be with Daniel and Katie as they work to bring their child into the world. Lord, only You know in Your sovereign wisdom what will happen, what may have already happened. Father, we want Your will and not our own, but we pray You will give us the ability to deal with that will, whatever it may be. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

  Jenny had never before felt the emotions that flooded through her. There was something so powerful in the words David had prayed. She envied the ease with which he spoke to God and wondered if she could have it for her own.

  David refused to raise his face for a moment. He relished the moment of prayer with Jenny. Even though she hadn’t made a declaration of faith in Christ, he knew she was open to God’s message for her heart. He hoped there was a future for them, and that he could spend the rest of his life in intimate moments before his God, with Jenny as his wife.

  For hours they rode on, their hands still entwined. Neither made a move to change the situation, and neither spoke for fear it might cause the moment to pass.

  Sagebrush and cactus passed outside the window. In the near distance, the snow-capped peaks of the Sangre de Cristo Mountains rose to break the barrenness of the desert. As the sun rose and its brilliance reflected from the icy mountaintops, the scene looked more beautiful than anything Jenny had ever known.

  She braved a glance at David, who was watching her with renewed interest. Jenny met his eyes and felt her breath quicken. She loved him so much. There was no doubt about her feelings and no use denying them.

  “David, I—” Her words were interrupted by the conductor bursting through the door.

  “We’re here!” he announced, grabbing the nearest seat as the train shuddered to a stop. The squeal of metal on metal caused Jenny to clench her teeth.

  David quickly escorted Jenny off the train and onto the loading platform. The train would wait to take Jenny and David back to Santa Fe because no other passenger train would be through for several days.

  It didn’t surprise either David or Jenny that Daniel didn’t greet them at the door. David gave a knock and walked in without waiting for any word from his brother. The house was quiet except for the crackle and pop of the wood stove, which obviously had been tended regularly.

  David strode to the bedroom door and knocked again. His brother joined him in a heartbeat.

  “Did you bring another doctor?” Daniel questioned as he looked around the room.

  “No, I couldn’t find anyone who could come with me. I thought maybe Katie would find comfort in having a woman at her side, so I brought Jenny.”

  Jenny’s head snapped up in surprise. He’d called her a woman! David thought of her as an equal.

  “I need a doctor!” Daniel said louder than he’d intended. Jenny could see the perspiration on his face.

  “You are a doctor,” David insisted. “You can do everything that needs to be done. Have a little faith in yourself.”

  Daniel ran his hand back through his sweat-soaked hair. “I don’t think so, little brother. Katie isn’t progressing the way she ought to be.”

  Jenny felt a sudden braveness and spoke. “May I see her?”

  Daniel nodded and Jenny went quickly through the door and to Katie’s bedside. She tried not to be surprised at the sight of Katie’s near-lifeless form. Jenny reached for a basin of water and the cloth that lay beside it. Dipping the cloth in the water, she spoke softly and wiped Katie’s brow tenderly.

  Delicate lashes fluttered open as Katie drew a ragged breath to speak. “Jenny, how kind of you to come.”

  “Hush,” Jenny whispered as she continued to bathe Katie’s face. “I’m glad to be here. I know what a wonderful occasion this is. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”

  Katie smiled weakly. “Where is Daniel?”

  Jenny looked beyond the bed frame and through the doorway. Daniel stood speaking with David in hushed tones. “He’s talking with David. Do you want me to get him?”

  Katie shook her head. “No, please don’t. I need to talk with you alone.”

  Jenny couldn’t hide her puzzled expression. “With me? But why, Katie?”

  Katie drew another deep breath as if it would strengthen her. When it didn’t, she closed her eyes before continuing. “I’m not going to make it, Jenny.”

  Jenny wiped damp ringlets of blond hair away from Katie’s face and forced a smile. “Of course you are, Katie. What nonsense. Every mother-to-be feels that way. You just wait until that baby is born. You’ll see.”

  Katie reached up to still Jenny’s lips with her fingers. Her hand fell weakly back to the mattress. “No,” she said in a resolute manner. “You must listen to me, Jenny.”

  “Alright,” Jenny said as she dropped the cloth into the basin and took hold of Katie’s hand.

  “Jenny,” Katie’s soft voice was barely audible, “the baby is dead.”

  “No!” Jenny stated sternly. “Daniel would have told us.”

  “Daniel can’t think rationally, Jenny. He’s been beside himself. I’ve been ill for two days now.” Katie fell silent, and Jenny wondered if she’d lost consciousness.

  “How do you know?” Jenny braved the questioned.

  “The baby hasn’t moved for hours,” Katie began. “Daniel told me that they move less as they are born, but Jenny. . .” She paused. With added sadness in her voice, she spoke again. “I’m his mother, and I know he’s gone.”

  Jenny felt tears in her eyes. “Oh, Katie. I’m so sorry.”

  “That’s not all, Jenny. I need you to be strong, and I need you to help me.”

  “I’ll do whatever I can,” Jenny answered. She felt a growing love for the young woman.

  “I’ll soon be joining my son,” Katie said with exacting words. “I can’t leave, however, unless I know you and David will help Daniel to keep his faith in God.”

  Jenny felt stabbing pain in her chest. “How can you be certain, Katie?”

>   Katie smiled sadly. “I can hear the singing, Jenny.” Her face brightened. “I can hear all of heaven singing. Oh, Jenny, it’s beautiful.”

  Hot tears fell against Jenny’s cheeks.

  “Are you afraid?” Jenny asked. She didn’t hear the men as they stepped into the room. She clung tightly to Katie’s hand and held it to her heart.

  “No,” Katie said with more surety than Jenny would have thought possible. “My son is there and my King.”

  Jenny couldn’t suppress a sob, “Don’t leave us, Katie. Please don’t leave us.”

  “Don’t cry, Jenny.” Katie offered the comfort and it sobered Jenny as she remembered she was to be there for Katie’s benefit.

  “I’m sorry,” Jenny said as she tried to compose her emotions.

  “Pray with me, Jenny,” Katie pleaded with her last bit of strength.

  “I’m not sure I know how,” Jenny whispered, “but I’ll try.” She thought back to David’s words on the train. She couldn’t remember exactly how he had started, so she began in the only way she could. “God, I know we don’t know each other real well, but Katie here knows You. Please God, don’t take her from us.”

  “No,” Katie whispered. “Pray for Daniel, not for me.”

  Jenny nodded, “Alright, Katie. God, please help Daniel. You know how much he’s suffering.”

  “Please God, don’t let my Daniel go astray. Don’t let him grow bitter in my passing,” Katie murmured. Jenny thought she heard someone leave the room.

  Jenny opened her eyes and looked down at Katie’s face. It was so delicate and pale, yet there was a peacefulness to her countenance Jenny couldn’t explain.

  “Thank you, Jenny. Would you please get Daniel? I want to say good-bye.”

  “I’ll get him,” Jenny whispered. She turned and found the room empty. David had gone ahead of her to retrieve Daniel.

  Daniel was shaking his head as David was trying to convince him to go to his wife.

  “I can’t watch her die,” Daniel said angrily. “I’ve killed her. Isn’t that enough?”

  “You didn’t give her life,” David stated firmly, “and you can’t take her life. She’s in God’s hands now.”

  “He can’t have her!” Daniel shouted back.

  “He already does,” David whispered in contrast.

  “Stop it!” Jenny said as she came forward and put a hand on both men. “Stop it right now! Argue and mourn your losses later, but right now, Katie needs us.”

  “I can’t,” Daniel said and his voice cracked.

  “Yes, you can,” Jenny said as she took control and pulled Daniel toward the bedroom. “You have to for her sake. She wants to say good-bye, and she needs to know you’ll be alright.”

  Daniel looked deeply into Jenny’s eyes. “But I won’t be alright ever again,” he whispered.

  “I know how you feel,” Jenny replied as she thought of her family. It was a moment only she and Daniel could share. David couldn’t understand the loss they faced.

  Daniel nodded and followed Jenny to his wife’s bedside. Kneeling beside the bed, Daniel took hold of Katie’s hand. Tears poured down his face. Jenny cried silently as she stood at the end of the bed. David’s hands fell in support upon her shoulders, and Jenny felt warmth spread through her body.

  “Don’t cry, Daniel,” Katie whispered.

  “But I’ve failed you.”

  “No,” Katie answered weakly.

  “But I’m a doctor,” Daniel said in sorrowed dejection.

  “And I’m a woman. Have I failed you because I couldn’t give our child life?”

  “No!” Daniel said, suddenly sobering.

  Katie smiled at her husband’s stern expression. “And neither have you failed me, Beloved.” Katie sighed and closed her eyes.” Thank you for loving me, Daniel, and thank you for our child.”

  “Oh, Katie! It’s me who thanks you for the happiness I’d never thought possible,” Daniel said as he leaned forward to kiss her one last time. “I love you, Katie.”

  “Do you hear it, Daniel?” Katie said as her expression brightened unnaturally.

  “Hear what?” Daniel asked as he pulled Katie close.

  “The bells. Those beautiful bells,” Katie smiled and fell limp in Daniel’s arms.

  Daniel looked in shock from Katie’s still form to David’s and Jenny’s tear-streaked faces.

  “Get out!” Daniel said firmly.

  “You need us now,” David said as he took a step forward.

  “Your God did this. I asked you to pray for her to get well and you prayed for His will. Well, He’s had His way and now I’ll have mine. Get out and don’t ever come back!”

  “You don’t mean that,” David said in shocked horror.

  “I do mean it,” Daniel said as he narrowed his eyes. “Take her and leave.”

  “God will give you comfort if you allow Him to,” David offered softly. “It’s all a matter of faith. Trust Him, Daniel. He won’t leave you alone in this.”

  Daniel gently placed Katie’s body on the bed and got to his feet. He stepped forward in a menacing way that caused David to take a step backwards. “I said get out, and I mean it. I don’t want your religion or your formulated answers for why my wife is dead.”

  David took hold of Jenny’s arm and pulled her along through the house. Quickly, David retrieved their things and opened the door for Jenny.

  Daniel stood firm in his anger at the opposite side of the room.

  “I love you, Daniel,” David said as he motioned Jenny through the door. “I’ll always love you, and so will God.”

  Daniel’s eyes narrowed. “That’s not my problem. It’s yours and God’s.”

  Chapter 8

  David and Jenny rode the rails to Santa Fe in stunned silence. They sat side by side, holding hands as if hoping to gather strength from their loss at Katie’s bedside.

  It was Jenny who finally broke the silence and sought an understanding of Katie’s passing. “David,” she whispered in the fading light, “are Katie and her baby really in heaven?”

  David’s head snapped up, revealing tearstained cheeks. “I know she is,” he replied confidently.

  “How?” Jenny questioned, needing to know.

  “The Bible says so,” David answered. “Remember when Jesus was dying on the cross?”

  Jenny shook her head no.

  “Jesus was condemned by His own people because they didn’t understand who He was or why He’d come to them. Oh, there were a few who loved Him and knew Him for who He was, but they were too few to stop the others who wanted to put an end to His ministry. When Jesus was on the cross dying for the very people who’d condemned Him to death, two other men were being put to death. One man was only interested in having his flesh saved from death, but the other man was different. He knew Jesus was blameless.”

  “What did he do?” Jenny asked softly.

  “He asked Jesus to remember him when He came into His kingdom. Jesus replied, ‘To day shalt thou be with me in paradise.’ That thief passed from life on earth to life in heaven with Christ.”

  “What about the other man?” Jenny asked.

  “There is a passage in the Bible, Revelation 21:7-8, that explains what happens to people after they die: ‘He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son. But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.’ ”

  “How awful,” Jenny said.

  “Yes,” David agreed as he gazed out the window beyond Jenny.

  “David,” Jenny spoke, remembering Katie’s peace in death. “I want to be saved from hell, and I w
ant to know the same kind of peace and contentment Katie knew.”

  “I’m so glad, Jenny,” David spoke, loving her more than he’d known possible. “Do you believe Jesus can save you from your sins and from the torments of hell?”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “And you want Him to forgive you for your past sins?”

  “Yes,” Jenny replied. “I want that most of all.”

  “Are you willing to repent and turn from sinful behavior?” David questioned as he took hold of Jenny’s hands. “Even your hatred of the Indians?”

  Jenny grew thoughtful. “I don’t know if I can forget what has happened, but I will seek daily to forgive the people who took the lives of my family. I certainly don’t want to see any more killings happen. It won’t bring back my family and it won’t make my loss any less. But knowing I’m going to heaven when I die gives me peace I’ll see my family again.”

  “I know God will help you, Jenny,” David said with certainty. He led Jenny in a prayer of repentance and felt renewed hope for the future, even in the shadow of Daniel’s rejection.

  When David had finished praying, Jenny knew there would never be a better time to share her feelings for him. “David,” she began, “there’s something else I want to talk to you about.”

  David dropped Jenny’s hands and leaned back against the seat. He was drained of all energy from dealing with Daniel, but Jenny seemed to offer him new vitality. “I’m all ears,” he said as he turned to meet Jenny’s warm gaze.

  “I’m not very good at this,” Jenny said slowly. “In fact, I’ve never done this before.”

  David raised an eyebrow curiously. “Go on,” he encouraged.

  Jenny took a deep breath and lowered her eyes. She twisted her hands in her lap as she struggled to choose the right words.

  “I’ve never known anyone like you,” Jenny began, “and I’ve never known the feelings you bring out in me.” Jenny paused and wondered if she should continue. What if David didn’t share her feelings? She’d have to endure another hour or more alone with him, and if he rejected her love, how would she be able to stand the closeness?