She was still caught halfway between reality and a netherworld composed of dreams.
The darkness around her slowly penetrated as she forced herself to focus.
She was in her room.
It was still somewhere in the middle of the night. The promise of sunlight wasn’t even a glimmer yet.
She’d been dreaming, but was now awake. Awake and in a puddle of sweat.
Just as she had been last night and the night before that.
And the night before that.
The dreams were all different, but the same. The settings varied, as did the beginnings, but they all took the same path, all wound up the same way.
This one had been the most realistic yet.
When the dreams had first begun a little more than a week ago, she knew she was dreaming while it was happening. And she was also aware of why she was having this particular kind of dream.
Because she was attracted to Asher and could do in her dreams what she couldn’t do in real life.
But as the dreams took on more depth, more dimension, more detail, she began to have trouble separating them from reality. They seemed to be so very, very real that while she was having them, it was as if she was actually living in the moment.
In each one of the dreams, she and Asher went from talking, to touching, to kissing. The end would abruptly come when they began getting really physical. She’d wake up then with a start, damp with perspiration and restless with longings that had ultimately gone unfulfilled.
And each night, they went a little further in the scenario created by her mind. Each night, a little more happened.
And tonight, tonight Asher had almost taken her completely before her brain had called a halt to it, pulling the plug so to speak and forcing her into a wakeful state.
Marnie realized that her pulse was still racing and that she was still very breathless.
She was actually breathless, she marveled. What was going on with her?
Was she going crazy?
The source of this last accelerated step was definitely not a mystery. She knew what had triggered it. Asher’s kiss last night had given her something real to build on in her dream.
Marnie pulled her knees up to her chest, laced her arms around them and then rested her head against the arch that was formed.
She couldn’t go on like this.
Couldn’t go on dreaming about Asher every night. If nothing else, she wasn’t getting enough sleep. She couldn’t afford to be moving around like some bleary-eyed zombie as she went through her day. She needed to be the exact opposite—at the top of her game—when she turned up at work at Coventry.
Not that she thought anything would happen to the riding students she taught, but just the vague possibility that it might was enough to put fear into her heart. The last thing she wanted was to risk someone getting hurt because she was having exotic dreams that left her yearning for fulfillment.
So what were her options?
She could quit babysitting for Asher, she supposed. But that didn’t mean that she would automatically stop having those dreams. The man with his dimpled grin was still very much in her mind and could quite possibly stay there for a very long time. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d reacted so strongly to a man. And as for dreaming about a man, well, that had never happened before.
And besides, if she quit, that would leave Asher in a very bad way and she’d really miss Jace. Not to mention that having two women he had been emotionally tied to leaving him would be devastating to the little boy’s self-esteem as well as his budding ego. She just couldn’t do that to the boy or his father.
Another option, she supposed, was just getting this overwhelming longing—because that was what it was at bottom—out of her system. That meant going up to Asher, saying that they were both adults and obviously attracted to each other so they should just go ahead and sleep together as a way of getting all that sexual tension out of the way.
“Right, really romantic, Marnie,” she upbraided herself. “Not to mention really stupid. I don’t care what other women are doing these days,” she argued. “You’re not propositioning Asher Fortune just so you can get a good night’s sleep again.”
Okay, now she was arguing with herself. This was getting serious, she thought as a touch of desperation shot through her.
Marnie dragged one hand through her hair, trying to think of a third alternative.
None readily suggested itself.
She could, she supposed, just try to wait it out. Wait out these soul-melting, mind-bending erotic dreams. Eventually, her brain had to move on to something else, right?
Or just blank out.
Before this X-rated spate of dreams had hit, she hadn’t had any dreams while she slept—or at least none that she was aware of—for several years. It was a matter of closing her eyes and then, before she knew it, it was time to get up again.
All the hours in between were pleasantly, restfully blank.
She wanted that back again, she thought, shifting in her bed as she reached for her pillow.
The side she’d been sleeping on was really damp with sweat.
Marnie sighed, shaking her head, then flipped the pillow over to its other side.
If this kept up and she continued having these “almost but not quite” dreams, she was going to have to stake herself to some brand-new pillows and bedclothes, she thought.
“Now, there’s a novel reason to go shopping for new sheets,” she said out loud to the darkness.
Punching the pillow a couple of times as she tried to find a comfortable spot for herself, Marnie lay down again.
But rather than fall asleep, she merely started shifting restlessly from side to side.
Exhausted, but still too leery of what might be waiting for her just ahead in the misty land of dreams, she continued to lie there, awake and staring at her darkened ceiling.
She wondered if self-hypnosis would help and just how to go about doing it if it could.
She was still wondering as dawn finally began seeping into the room.
And then she fell asleep.
Chapter Ten
Gloria McCafferty silently appraised her only daughter the next morning when Marnie, still somewhat bleary-eyed, made her way into the kitchen.
Frowning to herself, the older woman shook her head. “Well, you look like hell,” she said, not without some concern.
Marnie went straight to the coffee machine and poured herself a full cup of steaming coffee. “Thank you, Mother,” she replied only after taking her first long, life-affirming sip of the brew. “And good morning to you, too.”
Gloria sighed to herself as she placed a serving of scrambled eggs and toast—Marnie’s favorite—in front of her daughter.
Anyone looking at the mother felt as if they were getting a preview of what the daughter would look like in another two decades. They had the same light brown hair—Gloria wore hers shorter—and the same chocolate-brown, expressive eyes.
And right now Gloria’s eyes were not pleased.
The landlord of the apartment building Marnie had been living in until two months ago had suddenly announced that the building was going co-op. Unable to find new living quarters immediately—or come up with the down payment necessary to buy in to the apartment she’d been happily living in for the last four years—Marnie had reluctantly opted to temporarily move back in with her mother.
She’d done it more or less in self-defense. After her mother had initially extended the invitation, she’d prefaced each conversation they’d had with a strongly voiced invitation until Marnie had agreed to the arrangement out of exhaustion.
Temporarily, she’d emphasized.
It wasn’t that she didn’t love her mother; she did. Dearly. But there was nothing
that made her feel as if she was twelve years old again faster than living in her mother’s house and sleeping in her old bedroom with her old teddy bear looking down on her from his perch atop the bookcase.
“I thought I heard you arguing with someone last night,” Gloria said, deciding the direct approach was the best one to use rather than looking for a subtle way to broach the subject.
She took a seat across from her daughter at the kitchen table, her coffee mug serving as a place holder. “Who were you talking to?” she wanted to know.
“Nobody,” Marnie answered. Her mother continued eyeing her skeptically. The woman had missed her calling, Marnie thought. She should be been an interrogator for some law-enforcement agency. She would undoubtedly have made a good one. “I guess I must have been talking in my sleep,” she finally added, hoping that was enough to table the matter.
She should have known better.
“Sounded extremely coherent for talking in your sleep,” Gloria commented. “Sure you weren’t on the phone with that man?”
It was Marnie’s turn to frown. She had no idea what her mother was talking about. “What man?”
“That man,” Gloria repeated, stressing the second word, as if that would unlock the puzzle. “You know, the father of that little boy you were telling me about. The one you’re always going over to babysit for until all hours.”
“I came home late only once, Mother,” Marnie pointed out. “Yesterday.” She leveled a look at the woman. They had an agreement, or at least she thought they had. “You know how I feel about you ‘tracking’ me. I only agreed to stay here until I found a new place because you promised not to treat me as if I was still in high school.” She issued both a request and a plea, all rolled up into one. “Stop worrying about me, Mom.”
“I’m your mother,” Gloria protested. “I’m supposed to worry about you. It’s built into my DNA, which said that I would have large bones, love all forms of ice cream and worry about my daughter as long as she remains single. Trust me, it’s in the bylaws.”
Marnie pinned her mother with a long, exasperated look. “What bylaws?”
“The mother-daughter bylaws,” Gloria answered simply. “Now eat before it all gets cold.”
That, at least, was not a hardship. She absolutely loved her mother’s cooking. Her mother had the ability to turn a simple serving of eggs and toast into a veritable feast.
Gloria smiled as she watched her daughter do justice to the breakfast she’d made for her. “There’s a provision in those bylaws that says if my daughter has a habit of falling for strays, I’m allowed to worry about her—and you know you have a habit of falling for men who ‘need’ you. Like that last one—”
Marnie could tell by the tone her mother was using that she was getting all wound up. Marnie was quick to hold up her hand to stop what she knew would be an absolute deluge of words—all at her expense.
That was absolutely the last thing she needed to hear right now.
“Let’s just table that discussion for now, Mom.” Even so, she couldn’t resist making one final point. “In my defense, I really did think that Luke was the one.”
Gloria had lost five pounds, worrying, when Marnie and Luke had been together. “And Luke really thought you were his own personal ATM.”
If she had one outstanding fault, Marnie thought, it was that she was an extremely soft touch.
“Lesson learned, Mother.” The words were said through gritted teeth, which served as a definite warning note of itself. It was meant to tell her mother to back off. Now. “Besides, Asher isn’t like that.”
“No, this one comes equipped with his own kid, your own personal weakness. The only thing worse would have been if the kid came with his own pony, making the whole thing a trifecta,” Gloria concluded, sighing dramatically for Marnie’s benefit.
She didn’t expect Marnie to laugh.
But Marnie couldn’t help herself.
“Asher Fortune is not a stray, Mother,” Marnie informed. “Besides, he pays me to keep his energetic son occupied while he gets settled in. We have a working relationship, that’s all.”
Either her daughter was being naive or she was shutting her out, Gloria thought. Neither explanation pleased her.
“Is it?” Gloria asked, eyeing her again.
“Yes!” Marnie retorted a little too emphatically.
“Maybe you’ve fooled yourself into believing that,” Gloria granted, “but you can’t fool me. I know you too well, Marnie. You have a heart as big as all outdoors. This Asher person is broken and you’re trying to fix him. It’s in your nature, honey.” Gloria sighed, putting down her coffee mug. “I just don’t want you getting hurt again, that’s all. You have a big heart and that’s a lovely thing, really. But when that big heart causes you to get hurt, time and time again, well, then I just—”
“I’ve hardened that heart, Mother,” Marnie informed her abruptly. She wrapped up the last of the toast in her napkin and rose. “I’d love to sit and continue talking about my late, lamented love life with you, but that’ll make me really late for work and I’m already running behind.”
Rounding the table, Marnie paused to brush her lips against her mother’s cheek. “Thanks for caring, Mom,” she said, the edge in her voice gone for the moment.
Gloria patted her hand. “Just promise you’ll be careful, okay?”
“Okay,” Marnie responded, not really sure just what her mother meant by that or exactly what she should be careful about, but it was still nice to know that she had someone who cared about her enough to say that.
If only her mother didn’t care quite so much, Marnie couldn’t help thinking as she raced up the stairs to her room, to finish getting dressed.
She supposed, Marnie thought as she hurried into her clothes and applied her sparse makeup in record time, that her mother did have a point—a minor point, she silently emphasized. She did seem to have a weakness for anyone who came across as lost and hurt, two words that could also aptly be applied to Asher.
That glimpse he’d allowed her to have into his past last night definitely placed the man among the walking wounded. And she did have a tendency to want to make the pain go away.
Was there more to the story, or had his marriage really ended because his wife just couldn’t handle being a mother to a demanding child?
There was absolutely no doubt in her mind that Jace could be a real handful and a half to deal with. If Asher’s ex had had trouble getting the boy to mind her or to settle down when she wanted him to, Marnie could see how that could be frustrating.
But frustrating enough to walk out on the whole package deal?
Marnie shook her head. She just couldn’t wrap her mind around something like that. She knew that no matter how angry they would get her, she would never abandon her children.
If she ever got to the stage where she was lucky enough to have them in the first place, Marnie amended.
All day long, her mind kept coming back to what Asher had told her last night.
Had he told her the full story about the breakup, or were there parts that he’d “conveniently” omitted? And if so, why? And, equally important, what were they?
There was no point in denying that she was attracted to him, and she was fairly certain after last night that he was attracted to her, as well, but was her mother right? Was Asher just another stray, except in expensive clothing, looking to her to help him heal or fix whatever it was that was wrong?
Her head was filled with questions, and there were absolutely no readily applicable answers anywhere in the near vicinity.
Stop it, she ordered herself. You’re overthinking this and you’re going to make yourself crazy and then where will you be? You certainly won’t be able to watch Jace or be there for his dad if you’re a certifiable nutcase.
She needed a
break, Marnie decided. A break from her routine.
Maybe a night out with an old girlfriend she hadn’t seen for a while would get her back on track, Marnie thought.
The next second, as her last student of the day dismounted and led her horse back to the stable, to groom the mare before putting her away, Marnie took out her cell phone.
She knew exactly whom to call.
As luck would have it, her girlfriend turned out to be free that evening. Plans were solidified.
* * *
“Well, this is really nice, getting together for dinner and a movie like this,” Nicole Castleton commented over her plate of well-done barbecued spareribs. “Although I must say I was surprised to hear from you out of the blue like that. How long has it been now?” she wanted to know.
Marnie thought for a moment. “A couple of months or so,” she guessed, not really able to pin down the last time the two of them had gone out together. There just never seemed to be enough hours in the day.
Nicole Castleton had been her very best friend in high school. Back then, they had been close to inseparable despite the fact that they couldn’t have come from two more different backgrounds. While Marnie came from working-class roots, Nicole was a child of privilege even though she didn’t behave that way.
Or at least, she didn’t flaunt the fact that her family was more than just well-to-do.
Initially, Marnie and Nicole had bonded over their mutual interest in horses and boys, not necessarily in that order.
These days, when they did manage to see each other, the topic always turned to the fact that they both felt that a good man was next to impossible to find.
You had to kiss a lot of frogs before you found your prince was the way Marnie had once put it, but as far as Nicole was concerned, she’d already kissed her prince. Kissed him and then lost him, all while still in high school.
Though her friend would deny it, Marnie suspected that Nicole compared every new man she met to her old high school sweetheart. Compared them and found them all to be lacking, which was why a girl as beautiful as Nicole was still very much alone.
A Small Fortune Page 10