Meant for More

by Liza James

  She looks back at me, her sad yet strong eyes meeting my own. "Thank you for being here, for me, for my dad. You have no idea what that means to me."

  "Always. I'll always be here."

  Six Months Later

  "Carter, we're going to get in trouble," I whisper while my heart races in my chest. He pushes me forward, into the small bathroom nestled into the hallway of his family's home.

  His family's home. His family is literally home, right now.

  "Please, I don't need another reason for your parents to dislike me." I bite out, just as he clicks the door shut behind us and clicks off the light. There's a candle lit in here, and it's just barely bright enough to cast a glow on our bodies.

  "Stop, they love you," he responds casually, his voice dark and gritty as he stalks toward me. I step backward, my hands flying out to the side in order to stop myself from tripping over something. "And now that I'm playing for the Cardinals, they'll forgive anything I do." His lips lift into a cocky smile, his shoulders pulled back and his chin tilted high.

  He looks good. So incredibly good. He's wearing a suit, tailored specifically for him. Dark blue blazer with a maroon red tie, his white shirt tucked tightly into the waist of his matching slacks. Everything is tight, highlighting his muscular frame in power and authority.

  His arms lift as he pulls off his jacket. Slowly, intentionally. He lays it across the counter before moving his fingers to his tie.

  Shit.

  My eyes focus on the movement, the way he loosens and unties it, letting it hang over his shoulders as he begins unbuttoning his shirt.

  "Stop," I whisper, but my lips are parted on breathy hopes for more. "We can't do this here."

  "Be quiet and no one will hear us." He says as his hands fall to his slacks and he unbuttons those as well. "Can you do that for me? Stay quiet while I fuck you."

  "Fucking hell, Carter," I reply. My skin is hot and my head is swimming with my need for his touch. My pussy is already wet. His words, his movements, his imposing figure and dominance all working together to meet every single one of my temptations.

  "Answer me," he says as his hand reaches forward to grip my jaw and he drags me closer to him. His other hand falls down to my thigh, slipping under the hem of my matching blue dress. He shifts it up, his rough touch dragging over my flesh and pressing into my skin.

  "Yes," I say, forcing my voice to stay as quiet as I can possibly manage. "I'll be quiet." Because I can't say no to this, not anymore. I can hardly keep my hands off of Carter as it is, and right now? After he was drafted to his top choice?

  No way. We're both riding this high of celebration today.

  And God, he's fucking hot.

  "Good." He suddenly grips my thighs as he picks me up and turns us around, settling me on the edge of the counter while he quickly shifts my dress up and around my waist.

  His hand falls between us, his fingers sliding over the thin fabric of my panties. I gasp at his touch, and he presses even harder as he leans forward. His lips brush against mine, just barely, until I'm the one moving forward and begging for more of him. I reach up, wrapping my hands around the back of his neck, pulling him closer while my lips crash against his.

  I kiss him, sliding my tongue against his while I fight to taste everything I can possibly reach. We move together, and then he's pulling my panties aside so he can slide his fingers inside of me.

  I break our kiss as he stretches me, releasing a moan I can't help to fight.

  "Quiet," he whispers, before claiming my mouth again and pumping inside of me with another finger.

  "I can't," I breathe out, pressing my lips to the heated skin of his chest while I roll my hips forward to meet his touch.

  "Yeah, baby." He replies as she quickly pulls free and reaches down to his slacks, releasing his cock and sliding it through my wet core. "You can."

  "Carter?" An older, female voice breaks through our barrier of the bathroom door and through the darkness. She tries to open the door, but it's locked and I can only imagine what his mother is possibly guessing now.

  I panic immediately, my frame tensing as I suddenly pull away from him. But he's quicker, and his fingers bite into my ass as he drags me forward again.

  "I'll be out in a minute," he barks, and I stare at him with wide, terrified eyes.

  He smiles at me though and then slides his hand over my mouth at the same time that pushes himself into me.

  Fuck.

  I cry out, muffled by the heavy hand of my boyfriend while he stretches me open. He's thick and long, and even when I'm soaked in my own arousal, I swear he can hardly fit.

  "Carter," his mom’s voice sounds confused, and my heart races while I try with everything inside of me to stay quiet.

  "Jesus Christ, go away." He tries to rein in his own frustration, I can hear it in his tone and that's when the sound of his mom’s feet finally hurry away from the door.

  "Holy shit," I breathe out as his hand falls to my jaw and he holds me still while he pulls out and pushes back in. "Yes."

  He swiftly grips my hips tightly and yanks me forward, so I'm barely on the edge and my legs wrap around him. He leans forward and I lean back, his eyes fall between us so he can watch our bodies as he fucks me.

  I pull up my dress, tucking it to the side so he can see everything. My wet pussy, his heavy cock, moving and sliding inside of me on every hard thrust. My own hand slips between us, and I circle my clit while he watches.

  He looks up at me, and he's moving so quickly that the straps to my dress slip off of my shoulders. My tits spill out over the top, and I arch my back to show him even more while we move together.

  He pushes in, rolling his hips hard against mine while I do the same. Fuck, I pull out my hand and my clit grinds against him on every thrust. It's too much, and my orgasm quickly starts coiling in my stomach while he picks up his pace.

  "Please, baby," I beg him, reaching forward and dragging my fingers along the ridges of his abs. His broad chest hovers over me, and his heavy hand launches forward as he grips my neck tightly and holds me still for him.

  He fucks me, hard and fast, our bodies shifting together again and again until I'm just about to come. He can see it though, feel it between us because as soon as that uncontrollable moan falls from my lips, he's there, fiercely kissing me and swallowing the sound before it breaks out through the room.

  He keeps thrusting, frantically as he finds his own releases and spills inside of me. I ride out my own orgasm on the brink of his own, taking everything he gives me and wishing I could beg for even more in the moment.

  I don't want to be done. But I know we have to go back out there, spend the rest of the day with his family and team while we celebrate his draft position.

  As if this didn't just happen. As if I'm not walking around with his cum inside of me, my pussy wet and pulsing with need for more. I'll notice his little glances, the subtle ways he touches me inconspicuously around everyone else.

  It's this build up every time we're together. Each moment spent anticipating being together, in private conversation or connecting like this. A constant high of euphoric need, an explosion when we're finally together.

  He pulls out and I work to catch my breath, his hands sliding over my dress as he tugs it down and around my waist. He pulls me off the counter, and I adjust my panties and straps so I'm presentable again in public.

  I turn around, facing the mirror so I can see what I'm doing. Carter puts himself back together as well, his strong chest rising with each breath before he leans forward and places his hands on either side of me on the counter.

  His heated eyes watch me move, over my fingers as I run them along the fabric of my dress and over my body. He's intense, and the tick in his jaw is a different kind of frustration I wish he could work out on me for a second time today.

  "I'm proud of you," I tell him, as I meet his intense gaze through the reflection. "For everything. The Cardinals, your team, your work this year in your class
es."

  He presses a kiss to my shoulder, his lips moving across my skin as his hand falls to my stomach and he pulls me back against his chest. He looks up again and smiles, and I weave my fingers through his as he holds me.

  "Thank you," he says, his voice gentle and truly appreciative in way that warms my blood. I love having him near, feeling his strength, his power, his need for myself as much as I crave him. "We're doing this, for real, yeah? You and me. This is endgame, Baby Bloom."

  I smile, my skin lighting on fire with his words and touch. "Forever and ever."

  "Promise?" he says again, but he already knows the answer. We both do.

  "Promise."

  Everything feels lighter today somehow.

  The sun is bright. Birds chirping and singing in the trees around me. The wind blows a warm breeze across my skin as my fingers skim the grass beneath me.

  "Dad," I finally say the weighted word while it falls from my lips. "I miss you."

  My chest pulls tight, but tears aren't being shed today. For some reason, I'm happier—here and now. I feel close to him, even though he isn't here...he's still here.

  I look up, glancing at the place my father rests. I brought another ceramic piece with me today. A small pot I made specifically for him. One I filled with our favorite flowers—peonies and tulips—and laid it against his gravestone.

  "I wanted to tell you I won't be able to visit for a couple of weeks." I start, strangely feeling like I'll be letting him down by not stopping by for a little while. "Carter, he has a game in Texas, and he's flying me out to be there with him while I'm on break from classes."

  I laugh, thinking about the fact that Carter's begged me to come to this one. I go to all of his home games, and the aways when I can manage with my class schedule. But this is a big game for him, and he absolutely demanded I be there.

  "You'd be so proud of him," I say, wishing my father could be sitting beside me while we watch Carter rush the field. "He's doing so well. And you know the media loves him—well, everyone loves him—so, he's constantly in front of the camera with his crooked smile and bright eyes."

  I sit in silence for a moment, thinking of all the things I need to stay before I leave. "Bess made a killing at the last Art Night, the nursery is taking off right now and it's the first time I've ever seen her this relaxed."

  It's true, we've held an Art Night every month since we nailed down the details. Each one is better and busier than the last.

  My head spins with other thoughts, words I want to say but am almost afraid too. The loss of my dad has sat heavily on my chest since it happened. Of course, but I've felt so much guilt and anger and resentment over losing him. I haven't had the chance to truly say what I've been thinking while alone.

  "I don't want you to be upset with me," I start, cursing myself for the tears now brimming my lashes. I wasn't supposed to cry today, dammit. "But I've wanted to tell you how I've felt since I lost you for quite some time now."

  I glide my fingers over blades of grass again, feeling my chest tighten at the knot quickly forming inside me.

  "I've been so angry with you, Dad," I whisper as a trail of tears slip down my cheek. I quickly wipe it away, focusing my strength into holding them back and speaking the words I need to say. "I've been mad and hurt. I felt like you betrayed me by leaving me, and then I've felt guilty for not realizing what you were doing when I saw you last."

  I hear the quiet rumble of a car pull up behind me, and I know who it is without looking. He won't come out here though, he knows this is my time and space alone with my father.

  "I should have known you were saying goodbye that day. With the things you said to me and the way you made Carter promise to take care of me." I laugh a quiet sound, closing my eyes while I envision the happiness my father held that day. "Yeah, he didn't keep your conversation a secret from me, by the way. I'm not surprised though, you knew it would be him before I did."

  I sigh and open my eyes, tilting my head back while I look up to the sky. The warm sun beats down on my skin, the refreshing breeze blowing over me and tickling strands of my hair across my neck.

  "I'm not angry anymore though. I'm not mad, and I don't feel the same weight of guilt I've been carrying around. It's taken a lot of therapy, honestly, and that's been good for me in so many ways." I look down to his grave again, feeling as if he's sitting across from me, wishing I could reach out and hug him to me. "I know this wasn't anyone's fault, and I know you felt like there wasn't any other choice. I just wish there had been. I wish I had more time with you before you were gone."

  "Because I love you, you know? More than anything. Even in the years you were gone, I felt connected to you more than mom or anyone else." My voice is hoarse with painful words, heavy with the truth but also weightless as I release it. I wipe my eyes again and force myself to stand. I clasp my hands in front of me, finding comfort in the warmth of my own skin and the peace of my father finally resting.

  "It's always been you, Dad. It always will be, and I'll spend the rest of my life making you proud of the woman I'm constantly becoming. Of the life I'm living. Of the days I'm spending thinking of you and the family I'm building with Carter." I smile and breathe in one last deep, thankful breath. "I'll make you proud, Dad. Always."

  Suicide Prevention

  If you or someone you may know is thinking of suicide, please reach out.

  800-273-8255

  Here we are. After a hell of a long time since I published my last book, Meant for More was born.

  Carter and Bloom are so wildly different than what I usually write, but they hold very real and personal parts of my life and my love.

  This story was created out of a place of feeling lost, confused, hurt, and afraid. I’ve been living in this world, in the darkness of dark romance and while I love it, I needed something to help me BREATHE brighter.

  I feel like that doesn’t make sense.

  But I hope you can feel it in this story. Bloom and Carter were always meant for each other, but sometimes things can feel muddled and cloudy under the guise of friendship. Underneath the blanket of what’s comfortable, things can settle.

  Sometimes it takes making mistakes, screwing things up in order to find the beauty in what’s always been there.

  Our world can rock us in unexpected ways. We can lose the people we love before we’ve even realized they’re gone.

  Suicide is a very REAL and heavy subject. Mental health isn’t discussed far enough, it isn’t normalized in the ways it should be. Depression is isolating, it’s terrifying. It eats at your mind and then weaves through your blood. It can take everything away from you and rip you away from everything else.

  Please know you are not alone. Please know you can reach out, you can ask for help or support, you can simply TALK to another person. We’re all here together. We’re all working through this journey called life, and sometimes it’s horribly painful and tragic.

  Sometimes speaking your truth alone is powerful enough to gift some light back into your soul. I know that firsthand.

  You are not alone.

  So, let’s get to ALL of the people I need to thank for this story.

  First and foremost, my dad. I love you. I appreciate you. I need you.

  William. You probably won’t see this. But this story is inspired by us. Little details, tiny phrases, team names, numbers, vehicles, whispers. All of it—it’s us. I sometimes wonder if you’ve forgotten how much you mean to me. I love you.

  Cult Sluts. You guys have seriously held on to me. You have no idea how much I value you all, how much I love you guys. You all are my closest friends, my. Greatest encouragers, and my biggest support. You keep me going when I want to give up and you remind me why all of this is worth fighting for.

  My Alphas and Betas. Thal, Abby, Mickey. You three took this story before anyone else and helped me navigate it. You took my concerns and emotions and helped me find the bigger picture. I love you guys so much.

  Abby and Vane
ssa, my beautiful PA’s. You both are SO MUCH HELP. Whether you’re sending me encouragement, or organizing my ARC team, answering late night questions or helping refine my cover. I couldn’t do this without you both.

  AMY BRIGGS. My Editor. My Savior. My Head Smacker and Word Destroyer. Does that description even make sense? I love you. You’ve taken my writing to a new level and I appreciate every note, every suggestion, every verbal beating you give me.

  K. You’re always there. Always. I don’t know what I would do without you.

  My readers, bloggers, bookstagrammers, friends. You all inspire me every single day. You reach into my soul and give me something I’ve never had before becoming an author. I love you all so much, and it’s because of you guys that I get to live this dream I’m obsessed with. You guys help create my reality and I am so beyond thankful for you all.

  To everyone else, I’m thankful for you. If you’ve taken the time to read this book, to comment on a post, like a picture, send me a message. Anything.

  I love you all so much.

  Paranormal Dark Romance

  Fated (Fated Series Book 1)

  Descent (Fated Series Book 2)

  Echo (Fated Series Book 2.5)

  Contemporary Dark FF Romance

  Vibe (Pandora’s Box Book 1)

  Hush (Pandora’s Box Book 2)

  Website: www.lizajames.org

  Join my newsletter for new release information, giveaways, current recommendations and so much more.