Seduced by the Heart Surgeon

by Carol Marinelli

  And yet she could put it aside.

  Not too far aside, because her issues came with her, and they were needed today.

  For a long time Freya had doubted if she was the right person for this role, whether she had healed herself enough to offer advice to someone going through what once she had.

  Now, though, she knew it was a lifelong journey and she had learned so much on this path.

  ‘Thank you for seeing me,’ Emily said.

  They sat in her new consulting room and Freya told Emily she was her first client and then she told her a bit about herself. Emily said nothing at first, but when Freya mentioned her food diaries Emily got out her phone and Freya looked through it.

  It was like looking back on her own life.

  The exercise, the obsessions with food, the waiting till someone left the room so you could do a hundred more sit-ups. The agony of a cruel disease. Emily wasn’t dangerously thin but, Freya knew, the real battle was in her mind.

  They went way over time and Emily laughed at the end when Freya said, ‘You’re far more honest than I was.’

  ‘There’s no point lying any more,’ Emily said. ‘I just want to get well.’

  Emily would do well, Freya was sure.

  They made another appointment for Thursday.

  ‘Just to let you know,’ Freya said, ‘that I might be having a small procedure during the week, so if I have to reschedule, that’s why.’

  ‘I’m sorry to have messed up your Sunday.’

  ‘You didn’t,’ Freya answered. ‘It’s good to get things under way.’

  Emily left and Freya knew that she felt better and so too did she. It had been right to come in today and it was time to get something else under way. Freya was ready to know now if she was pregnant or not so she called Hilary.

  ‘Hi, Freya.’

  ‘Sorry to call on a Sunday,’ Freya said.

  ‘I doubt you would without reason,’ Hilary said. ‘What’s happening?’

  ‘I got a positive pregnancy test, I think I’m eight weeks,’ Freya said, ‘but then last night I bled.’

  ‘Are you still bleeding?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Any pain?’

  ‘No.’

  And Hilary asked some more questions just as calmly as Zack had. ‘Do you want to come in today?’ she offered.

  ‘On a Sunday?’

  ‘Babies keep their own schedules,’ Hilary said. ‘I tend to write off uninterrupted weekends, that’s why my vacations are taken overseas.’

  As Freya walked out she stopped at James’s office. He was a complete workaholic and catching up on some files.

  ‘Hi,’ Freya said.

  ‘Freya.’ He gave her a nod. ‘How was your first client?’

  ‘It went well,’ Freya said. ‘It was helpful to me too. Thank you, James, for all you did for me back then.’

  ‘I’m your brother,’ James said. ‘Freya, are you okay?’

  ‘I am,’ Freya said.

  She was.

  However it all unfolded, Freya knew now she would be okay.

  ‘Are we talking?’ Freya checked.

  ‘Not really,’ James said.

  But he was still her brother.

  He gave her a smile and Freya headed off, alone, to find out about the baby.

  She loved Zack and however he felt about her, or them, she could handle it. That he wanted the baby meant the world. If they got the chance to be, they would be good parents. Possibly unconventional ones, with a father who drifted, but when he was there, Freya knew that he’d be the best dad in the world.

  Freya sat in her car for a moment before going in and when tears came she shed them.

  She just let them happen for the first time as she acknowledged she wanted this baby so much.

  This father.

  This miracle.

  This life and this world.

  And so in she went.

  Hilary didn’t care a jot about Freya’s leaking eyes, she was more than used to them.

  And then, just as Freya thought she had everything a little more under control, the most appalling thing happened, and she found out she really had no control.

  ‘I feel sick,’ Freya admitted, as her green breakfast rose in her stomach, and her eyes scanned the room for an exit, because, in her head, no one could see her do that.

  ‘Are you going to throw up?’ Hilary asked.

  Absolutely she was.

  In front of another person!

  And there was no chance of being tidy and hidden any more.

  ‘Feel better now?’ Hilary asked a few minutes later as she calmly took away the little dish she kept for these moments.

  Freya did.

  She had cried, she had thrown up, she’d had a cuddle from Zack and had seen her first client, and she was being open and honest and vulnerable.

  It was the oddest of days, the scariest of days, but it felt like the nicest too.

  ‘I’m nervous to find out.’

  ‘I know,’ Hilary said. ‘Have you had a lot of vomiting?’

  ‘Loads,’ Freya said. ‘And I got dizzy after my run. Should I have run?’

  ‘Do you run regularly?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Then that’s fine. Just keep hydrated. You know your body.’

  ‘Sex?’ Freya asked.

  ‘Well, that’s how babies get there in the first place!’

  They talked. Hilary knew already about Freya’s past medical history and after answering some of Freya’s questions Hilary had a few of her own.

  ‘I admit that I’m confused. I’m looking at your notes and we were talking sperm and egg donors the last time I saw you.’

  That seemed like such a long time ago.

  ‘Do you know who the father is?’ Hilary asked, and Freya laughed at the directness of the question.

  ‘I nearly didn’t,’ she admitted. ‘It was supposed to be no-name sex.’

  ‘Ha-ha.’

  Oh, and the world was so much better when you were honest.

  ‘He’s amazing,’ Freya admitted.

  ‘Does he know about the pregnancy?’

  ‘Yes,’ Freya said. ‘He knows and we both want the baby. It’s just a bit too soon to know if we want the other...’ Then she looked at Hilary and a doctor’s office doubled as a very nice confessional. ‘Well, it’s not too soon for me to know but I’m trying not to push and crowd him and just see where we go...’

  And it was time to see where this pregnancy was going.

  She lay on an examination table and Hilary had a feel of her flat stomach and squirted some jelly onto it.

  ‘I guess you might not see much,’ Freya said, ‘given it’s so early and...’ She chatted to keep herself busy. ‘I haven’t got a full bladder, so you probably can’t—’

  ‘Freya,’ Hilary asked, ‘how often do you menstruate?’

  ‘Every six months or so.’

  ‘Okay.’

  And she was going to be told, no, Freya knew, that maybe in six months or so’s time that she could try again.

  ‘Well, when your ovaries zap, they really zap,’ Hilary said, and she turned the screen. ‘What do you see?’

  A map of the moon, Freya thought, and then she looked again and there was a tiny person, a little bean with a head and a flicker that was a heart.

  ‘Oh...’ Freya said, because she was still pregnant.

  ‘And over here,’ Hilary said, and Freya’s eyes wandered to another little bean and another tiny flicker that was a heart.

  ‘Beautiful embryos,’ Hilary said. ‘Their position is perfect and their heartbeats are strong and a very good rate...’

  ‘Their?’ Freya check
ed.

  ‘Twins,’ Hilary said. ‘So get used to throwing up for a few more weeks. Double everything, including the fun.’

  ‘What about the bleeding?’

  ‘It happens,’ Hilary said.

  ‘Do I have to be careful?’

  ‘I tend to find they stay put or not whatever a woman does,’ Hilary said, ‘and these two look to me like they’re staying put.’

  It was overwhelming, completely, and then she thought about telling Zack that they were having twins and she blew out a breath.

  Oh!

  Drifter Zack the father of twins.

  Freya had blood taken and then thanked Hilary and walked out to her car. She sat there for ages and then drove home and collected Cleo’s ashes, feeling so glad she’d told her about the baby before she had died.

  Babies!

  ‘Thank you,’ Freya said, as she scattered her friend’s ashes into the huge ocean that separated the US and Australia. It was a place Cleo had loved in younger days and she was so glad of the gift James had given her at a time she had been so fragile.

  Not any more.

  Oh, it was a sad and happy day and she watched the sun go down and thought of Cleo. Her phone rang and when she saw it was Zack she answered it.

  ‘Hi,’ Freya said.

  ‘You’ve been crying?’

  ‘Yes, I scattered Cleo’s ashes. And don’t you dare suggest I get another dog.’

  ‘How was your client?’

  ‘It went well,’ Freya said. ‘How was surgery?’

  ‘Long,’ Zack said. ‘Have you had any more bleeding?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘That’s good.’

  ‘It is,’ Freya said. She didn’t want to tell him the news over the phone and decided she’d wait till a more suitable time than the last time she’d dropped a bombshell on him.

  ‘Freya, can I ask a favour? I’m going to be here all night and I’m supposed to be speaking to my parents. They’re driving me mad with video chats. Can you stop by the hotel and bring my adaptor?’

  ‘Adaptor?’

  ‘I don’t have US appliances and I need to charge my laptop.’

  ‘Oh.’

  Well, what chance did they have? Freya thought as she let herself into his hotel room. Even their plugs were wired differently.

  Freya lay on the bed in a room that had seen an awful lot of their goings-on and she smiled and decided to pinch a shirt of Zack’s while she was there.

  And if he found out, so what?

  It wasn’t a crime to be in lust, she would tell him, and just leave the love part out.

  She drove to The Hills and there was Stephanie and her beady eyes at Reception, mentally weighing Freya as she walked in.

  ‘Hi, Freya.’

  ‘Hi.’ Freya smiled but didn’t stop for conversation. Thanks to Stephanie, rumours were flying but because of her past everyone was assuming her eating disorder was back with a vengeance, rather than that she had a baby on board.

  Two babies.

  Yikes!

  She knocked on his office door and waited.

  ‘Come in,’ Zack called, and as she stepped in it dawned on Freya the possible real reason she was here.

  The room was in darkness and, as memory served, Zack liked to unwind after Theatre.

  ‘Did you get me here to give you...?’ And then she stopped because there was a table and two places laid and it was lit by a candle.

  ‘Valentine’s Day,’ Zack said.

  Oh, so it was.

  ‘What did you get me?’ Zack asked.

  ‘You don’t do Valentine’s Day,’ Freya said. She had truly forgotten. ‘Actually, I’ve never done Valentine’s Day either.’

  She sat at the table and as lovely as it all was it was dark.

  ‘I can’t see you,’ Freya said, and he laughed and put the lights on.

  ‘Better?’ Zack said, and now that she could see him it was. ‘I got you a present.’

  ‘Are you trying to make me feel extra-awkward for forgetting?’

  ‘I am.’ Zack nodded.

  ‘And then I’d have been accused of being over the top,’ Freya said.

  ‘You are over the top, Freya,’ Zack said, and he went behind his desk and very carefully carried over a very large box.

  Oh, no, Freya thought as he gingerly put it down, and she watched for movement and saw all the little holes punched in the box so it could breathe.

  He’d got her a puppy.

  And she didn’t want one.

  ‘Zack...’

  ‘Just open it.’

  ‘I don’t want it.’

  ‘You might when you see it.’

  Twins and a dog, Freya thought. Well, there goes any chance of freedom for the next two decades. And what about dog jealousy? And yet of course she was going to love her new puppy, it had come from Zack after all and it beat stealing a shirt from his wardrobe.

  Freya pulled back the lid, waiting for a wet nose to peek out, but it didn’t.

  The box was empty, except for one thing.

  A ring.

  ‘Where’s my puppy?’ Freya croaked.

  ‘A puppy is a big commitment and you have to be very sure,’ Zack said. ‘Pretty much the same with this. Freya, marry me.’

  ‘Oh, Zack.’ Freya shook her head. ‘It’s way too soon...’

  ‘Not for me.’

  ‘You’re marrying me because I’m pregnant.’

  ‘Freya! One, we don’t even know if you’re pregnant. Two, I don’t marry women because they’re pregnant. In fact, usually I’d be running out of the door the same way you did the morning after we met.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘I’d have had morning sickness just at the thought,’ Zack said, ‘but I don’t feel like that with you. I am in love with you. You’re the most difficult, grating person I have ever had the fortune to get to know, and I want to get to know more of you, every day.’

  He gave her a smile, a self-satisfied one. ‘You’ll never be able to top that,’ Zack said. ‘Even with all your PR skills, you have to concede that I have organised the best Valentine’s Day and you, Freya, didn’t even get me a card.’

  ‘Of course I did,’ Freya said, and she went into her bag and handed him a card, well, a photo of her ultrasound.

  ‘Top that,’ Freya said, and she watched his mouth open as he realised that, yes, Freya was pregnant and, because he could read ultrasounds far more easily than Freya, he saw straight away that it was twins.

  He laughed.

  He had everything he’d dreaded having for so long, but everything had changed—he wanted it all now. With Her.

  They had arms and legs and heads and they were so much more than hers or his, they were theirs.

  Then Freya watched as his laughter died and tears pooled in his complex eyes.

  He wanted his brother to have had this moment.

  Zack wanted his brother to this day and for ever he would.

  ‘If we have a boy, can we call him Toby?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘He was so unhappy...’

  ‘Not all of him was unhappy and he had someone he could speak to,’ Freya said. ‘His last night was spent under the stars, drinking and being honest with you. That’s a very nice last night to have had on this earth. I know that I’d take it.’

  She turned his world around.

  The last night of his brother’s life had always been an agonising memory.

  Not now.

  Zack could now, without reservations, remember their laughter and two brothers talking and just a night where you put the world to rights.

  Now they had put their worlds to rights.

  ‘I don’
t want to tell people yet,’ Freya said. ‘I am the happiest ever but I want some time to get used to the idea and—’ she rolled her eyes ‘—don’t get me started on my parents.’

  ‘Okay, we shan’t tell anyone, though you’ll start to show fairly soon.’

  ‘No.’ Freya shook her head. ‘I meant all of it. I meant I need to get used to the idea of us.’

  ‘The idea?’ Zack checked.

  ‘That you love me.’

  ‘Get used to it,’ Zack said. ‘But I get it.’

  It was like being handed a prized package and being told to sign for it, the start of a life he had never imagined.

  ‘I’m such a difficult person,’ Freya said. ‘Don’t say I didn’t warn you.’

  ‘Freya, I’m so glad I saw you raw the other night. I don’t care how much you try to change, or control me, or rush me with my thoughts. You can’t.’ He smiled. ‘You can keep on being you and I’m just going to keep on being me.’

  ‘You’re sure?’

  ‘Completely.’

  Zack took on the hardest hearts. Ones that others shied away from. But the hardest hearts gave the sweetest rewards and ones that were just so unexpected, because, for all she wanted to keep them quiet for now, on a night that should be just about them, Freya offered to share the happiness around.

  ‘Tell your parents,’ Freya said, ‘when you video with them.’

  ‘I’m not speaking to them tonight. That was just a ruse to get you here.’

  ‘Tell them,’ Freya said.

  ‘Now?’ Zack raised an eyebrow. ‘I set up a romantic dinner and you want me to speak to my parents?’

  Life changes.

  Zack rang them and told them to get on the computer and they did.

  ‘Here’s the reason I didn’t think I could come home in April,’ Zack said, and he pulled Freya onto his knee.

  ‘Hi, Freya!’ they both shouted.

  ‘They know about me?’

  ‘I told them that there was someone special in my life,’ Zack said.

  That he had told them about her told Freya that this was real.

  ‘Freya and I shall be home for Christmas, and hopefully with twins.’

  ‘Zack!’

  Oh, there was an exclamation mark at the end of his name for a reason.