The Vengeance of Snails

by Chrys Cymri

  ‘Now, now, my friend,’ Bishop Aeron said calmly. ‘You have followed your path. He has followed his.’

  ‘Why does he have a title?’ I asked. ‘And a name?’

  ‘All unicorns have names,’ the Archdeacon reminded me. ‘But we give them out very rarely. Our names are who we are, and who we are is part of the land under our hooves.’

  ‘When I spoke the Archdruid’s name,’ I said slowly, ‘I could feel the forest around me.’

  ‘Precisely.’ The unicorn snorted. ‘There is no power in his name, so Willis can give it away freely.’

  Morey was standing on his chair, fur and feathers raised. ‘What happened to his land?’

  ‘His family sold it.’ She snorted again. ‘The townspeople do not even realise that calling him “Lord” is an insult. Unicorns have no lords.’

  ‘They have archdruids,’ I said. ‘Was Willis their archdruid?’

  ‘No. His dam was.’

  Did that explain why his mother had a grey hide, the colour of a unicorn who felt guilt? ‘Do you live on your land, Archdeacon?’

  ‘No.’ Her sigh was deep and long. ‘I return when I can, which is not as often as I would like. But service to the Lord requires sacrifices. As you well know, Father Penny. Once again, you will be leaving your own world for ours.’

  I could only hope that she hadn’t caught the look Morey shot me. ‘It’s a sacrifice,’ I said, ‘but I go where God calls me.’ A part of me tensed, expecting lightning to strike at the outright lie.

  The dragon’s horns waggled. I had the feeling that the Bishop had seen behind my words. ‘God can ask you for nothing more.’

  My mouth opened, then shut, as I wondered how to respond. If at all. But Morey spoke up instead. ‘By your leave, Bishop, I should return to my wife. I need to relieve her on the nest.’

  ‘Of course, Trahaearneifion. I will keep your family in my prayers.’

  I rose from my chair and let my mouth go on auto pilot as I said polite things to Bishop and Archdeacon. Morey flew to his place on my shoulder, and I left the room when my words finally dried up.

  The squirrel looked startled when we entered the hall. She scurried away, no doubt to summon Aures to let us out. Well, I could manage that myself. I pulled at the heavy wood, and door creaked open.

  Rain was falling, straight and heavy. Once again I cursed my lack of umbrella. ‘Well, Morey, shall we make a run for it?’

  ‘No need.’ He was leaning forward, eyes peering intently into the darkness. ‘There’s a dragon coming.’

  I could dimly see the body moving towards us. Water bounced from slick hide and outstretched wings. Only when he was a dozen feet away did light from the house touch the green-black scales. ‘That’s not Aldred.’

  ‘Were you expecting a different dragon?’ Raven’s voice was unmistakable. ‘And I’d thought I was your one and only.’

  ‘You’ll do,’ Morey said. ‘Any wing in a storm.’

  Raven brought himself alongside the door. I decided to be grateful for the protection and not worry about the water splashing over my ankles. Morey hummed as I waded my way back to the cathedral, fur and feathers safe from the rain. I was tempted to step away from Raven’s protection, just to dampen my Associate’s smugness, but that would have drenched me as well.

  The cathedral doors were open. Morey launched himself from my shoulder, and reached the shelter within two wing beats. I hesitated a moment. ‘Raven. Thanks for this, but why did you come?’

  His wing shifted, and he twisted his head underneath to meet my eyes. ‘We no longer have regular meetings.’

  I braced myself for a long overdue conversation. ‘I’m engaged now. To Peter. We’re getting married in the summer.’

  ‘The wedding won’t happen.’ His tone was matter of fact.

  ‘I beg your pardon?’

  ‘The wedding won’t happen.’

  I tried to read his expression, but I couldn’t see his ears. ‘Why? Who would try to stop it?’

  ‘No one but you.’

  And then he drew back into the dark afternoon. I hurried into the cathedral, wondering at his strange warning.

  Chapter Eight

  ‘That’s great news,’ Rosie said warmly. I pressed the phone closer to my ear as she continued, ‘It’s only right that you go back. You need to face your demons.’

  I laughed. ‘The churchwardens are hard work, but I wouldn’t go so far as to call them “demons”.’

  Rosie chuckled in return. ‘Quite right, too. Slippery slope. Although Holly seems to be behaving herself at the moment. By the way, how’s that snail I baptized? Are lemmings still falling at his feet?’

  I stood to look out the window. The small rodents were perched on every fence panel along the back garden. ‘They seem to follow him everywhere. And they call him “Great Leader”. I only hope it doesn’t go to his head.’

  ‘Well, it’s not like they’re going to form an army,’ Rosie said. ‘How’s his Christian education coming on?’

  ‘Not well,’ I admitted. ‘I tried to do some teaching the other day.’

  Rosie sighed. ‘Let me guess. Through the theology of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.’

  ‘Doctor Who,’ I said defensively. ‘He likes Doctor Who.’

  The sound of wings and a rustle of papers announced Morey’s arrival. ‘Say hello to Rosie for me,’ he said as he hovered. ‘And assure her that I’m seeing to Clyde. Bring a Bible.’

  Then he flew to the kitchen. ‘I’d better go,’ I told Rosie. ‘I think Morey’s about to take on godparent duties.’

  ‘Morey believes in a literal six-day creation, doesn’t he?’

  ‘He does indeed.’

  ‘Good luck. To you and to Clyde.’

  I put down the phone and picked up a Bible. The cat flap was still rattling from Morey’s exit as I placed the book on the table. By the time the gryphon had convinced the snail to come inside, I had made myself a cup of tea. I decided to linger by the kitchen counter.

  Both of them landed by the Bible. Morey used his beak to flip it open. ‘So, Clyde, let’s start at the beginning. Adam and Eve, the rebellion against God which led to the Fall and evil in the world.’

  ‘Morey,’ I protested, ‘you know that it’s not that simple.’

  ‘It is, if you accept the Word of God. As I do.’ His tail was an annoyed blur. ‘I respect your theology. Kindly show me the same courtesy.’

  I sipped at my tea as Morey talked about serpents and forbidden fruit. Clyde’s eyespots were fixed on the gryphon. I realised with a start that the two were now nearly equal in size. Clyde’s mother had been the size of a German shepherd. Would he match her? Or grow to be even larger?

  Morey slipped his claws into the Bible, turning the pages with greater delicacy than I would have expected. ‘As St Paul wrote in Romans, “Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death came through sin, and so death spread to all because all have sinned.” So, because of Adam’s disobedience, everyone is born into sin.’

  ‘Not Adam,’ Clyde said.

  Morey cocked his head. ‘We’ve just covered that. Adam took the fruit.’

  ‘Eve.’ Clyde’s body was pulsing with blues and purples. ‘Eve first.’

  I covered my smile with my empty mug. Morey took a deep breath and continued, ‘But God didn’t leave it there. Oh, no, because God loves his creation, he sent his Son to take the punishment for our disobedience. “Therefore just as one man’s trespass led to condemnation for all, so one man’s act of righteousness leads to justification and life for all.” So, in Adam, all have sinned, but in Jesus, all can be saved.’

  ‘Eve,’ Clyde said again. ‘Eve.’

  Was the snail trying to be obstructive, or was he a feminist? Or she, I reminded myself. Snail sharks were hermaphrodites, after all. I was the one who had given Clyde a masculine name.

  ‘Both Adam and Eve sinned,’ Morey granted. ‘What’s important is that Jesus paid the penalty. On the cross, he stretched
out his arms, and allowed himself to be crucified. Through his sacrifice, he made peace between us and God.’

  ‘Peace,’ Clyde mused.

  ‘As St Paul writes, “But God proves his love for us in that while we still were sinners Christ died for us. Much more surely then, now that we have been justified by his blood, will we be saved through him from the wrath of God.” Accepting Jesus as your personal Lord and Saviour reconciles you to God, and saves you from his wrath.’

  ‘No, Morey,’ I said firmly, putting down my mug. ‘God loves us. There’s no anger in love.’

  ‘God is a God of justice as well as mercy,’ Morey said. ‘He acts justly and he judges against evil, the evil which we do to others, and that which has been done to us.’

  I marched over to the table, and riffled through the Bible to find the reference. ‘“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love.’”

  ‘1 John 4:18,’ Morey said promptly. ‘And earlier in the same chapter, St John writes, “In this is love, not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins.” We are all born in sin, Black. Original sin.’

  I shook my head. ‘I believe in original blessing. We’re all born innocent. Then bad things happen to us, and we act badly in turn. Jesus sacrificed himself to show us that love is stronger than death, and evil and suffering don’t have the last word. That there’s a way out of the cycle of being hurt and causing hurt.’

  Morey sniffed. ‘Moral influence theory of the atonement. I’ve never been convinced by the arguments. Jesus’ death is tied so clearly to the Jewish sacrificial system.’

  The cat flap rattled. Only a smear of slime marked where Clyde had been sitting. ‘The snail,’ I said, ‘has left the building.’

  ‘He needs to pay attention,’ Morey growled. ‘I need to know that he understands the Christian faith before I can recommend him for confirmation. You’re just confusing him.’

  ‘I’ve met too many people who think that God can never love them. They see God as a wrathful father who only forgives us because of Jesus’ death, and then he only does so through gritted teeth. I want Clyde to know God as love.’

  Morey cocked his head. ‘Is that how you know him?’

  My mouth dried. ‘Sometimes. Not as often as I’d like.’

  The phone rang, saving me from further embarrassment. I hurried to answer. ‘Penny White, St Wulfram’s vicarage.’

  ‘Just me, Penny.’ The sound of Peter’s voice brought warmth back to my face. ‘Are you busy? Could I come and pick you up?’

  ‘What’s happened?’

  ‘The marquee at Meadowell Farm. It’s been ripped to shreds.’

  I glanced through the window at the sunny day. ‘We haven’t had any high winds.’ Then I understood. ‘You mean, by something not human?’

  ‘That’s what the duty sergeant thinks. Are you free to have a look, or has the parish taken over your life again?’

  ‘No, I’m free.’

  ‘Great, I’ll collect you. I’m just outside Northampton now. I should be with you in ten minutes.’

  Morey landed on my desk as I hung up. ‘You haven’t told him. About Caer-grawnt.’

  ‘We only met with Bishop Aeron two days ago.’

  ‘You didn’t even tell him we were going to a meeting.’

  I shrugged. ‘There was no reason to, not until we knew what was going to happen.’ And I went up the stairs to change.

  <><><><><><>

  We halted a few feet away from the scene of destruction. The metal supports for the marquee were bent and twisted, rising like thin bones from the shreds of white fabric lying on the ground below. Fragments dyed blue and green stirred in the slight breeze, as if trying to free themselves from the one unbroken strut.

  ‘Or could it have been a tornado?’ I asked Peter. ‘This could be “sound and fury, signifying nothing.” Isn’t there a book by that name?’

  Peter scrubbed his chin. ‘Wouldn’t know. I only pretended to read the books during English lessons. Doctor Who comics seemed far more interesting.’

  ‘I couldn’t afford Doctor Who comics. I was raising James at the time.’

  ‘I’ll lend you mine. I’ll be moving a big box full into the vicarage.’

  ‘And will I have time to read them?’ I teased.

  He reached out and brushed a strand of hair away from my forehead. ‘Eventually. After the first few years of wedded bliss.’

  My attempt to lean in for a kiss was disrupted by Sarah marching across the grass. ‘Vandals! Isn’t it terrible? Even here, you can’t get away from them.’

  Peter winked at me and pulled away to meet Sarah’s glare. ‘What makes you think it was deliberate?’

  ‘Look at this.’ She picked up a torn piece of fabric. ‘That’s been cut by something sharp. The edge is too regular for anything else. And look at the damage along the struts!’

  I stepped closer, and ran my fingers down the cool metal. The marks were jagged, as if something had chewed its way down the length. ‘Certainly a knife,’ I lied, certain that what I was feeling could not have been caused by a blade. ‘Do you have any CCTV footage?’

  ‘Out here?’ Sarah’s arm swept the area. ‘Where would we mount a camera?’

  ‘On the corner of the building,’ Peter suggested. ‘I’ll arrange for a member of the Crime Prevention Squad to come out and help you.’

  ‘If it’s no trouble?’ Her face was tense with worry. ‘You’re here as our guests, after all. And don't worry, we’ll have a new marquee up long before your wedding.’

  ‘We weren’t worried at all,’ I reassured her.

  ‘I’d like to spend a few minutes looking around.’ Peter gave her a smile. ‘I’ll send a report of my findings to the Northamptonshire Police.’

  ‘That’s very kind of you. I’d better get back sorting out a replacement.’

  Once Sarah was out of earshot, I told Peter, ‘This wasn’t caused by a knife.’

  ‘I didn’t think so. And you lie alarmingly well for a vicar.’

  ‘Vicars have to be able to lie. “Oh, no, this tea isn’t too strong.” “Yes, of course we can have ‘All Things Bright and Beautiful’ for your wedding. Nobody ever chooses that.” Comes with the territory.’

  Peter pretended to pout. ‘Can’t we have “All Things Bright and Beautiful” at our wedding?’

  ‘Not if you want me to be there.’ I pointed at the dents along the strut. ‘Did teeth do this, do you think?’

  ‘Or claws.’ He rubbed his own finger along the metal. ‘Not by anything from Earth, though. One of our friends from Lloegyr. But why?’

  My thoughts flashed back to Raven’s matter of fact statement. ‘The wedding won’t happen.’ But would the dragon really destroy a marquee just to make a point? I glanced up at the nearby stone wall. ‘A camera would let us see who did it, if it happens again.’

  ‘Let’s hope it doesn’t happen again. For their sake.’ Peter stepped back from the wreckage. ‘We’d better not go any further, just in case the local police want someone to have a closer look.’

  ‘Is that likely?’

  He shook his head. ‘Not really. They have much more serious crime to deal with. But if I'm wrong, I don’t want to be told off for accidentally damaging any evidence.’

  ‘Or maybe you should discourage them,’ I said. ‘Under the whole “Keep Daear a secret” campaign.’

  ‘Speaking of which, I’ll bring some bubbly over tomorrow night.’ At my blank look, he reminded me, ‘That’s when the first episode of the web series comes out, isn’t it?’

  ‘Is it?’ I groaned. ‘Can’t we go out for a movie instead?’

  Peter started walking back to his car, and I followed. ‘I’m really looking forward to seeing how you’re portrayed.’

  ‘By a woman ten years younger and two sizes smaller than me,’ I grumbled. ‘I guess I should watch the ones I c
an.’

  By now, we were both in the car. ‘Why wouldn’t you be able to watch all of them?’

  ‘Because I’ll probably be back in Caer-grawnt by then,’ I said, my attention on the battle to click my seat belt buckle into place.

  A strangled sound made me look up. Peter was staring at me. ‘Since when?’

  My heart was pounding in my ears. ‘I met with Bishop Aeron.’

  ‘When?’

  ‘A few days ago.’

  Peter leaned forward, resting his forehead on the steering wheel. ‘Penny, Penny, Penny. When are you going to start telling me things?’

  ‘I’m telling you now,’ I protested, although my face felt hot.

  ‘I want our marriage to be a partnership.’ Peter straightened. ‘I want us to work together, Penny. And that means we need to talk to each other. How can we support each other if we don't communicate?’

  ‘Sorry,’ I mumbled. Then I cleared my throat. ‘Bishop Aeron overruled the churchwardens and asked for me and Morey to return. We have to wait until the eggs are hatched and the eyasses have had a few meals. So around three weeks or so.’

  His sigh was deep and long. ‘I can’t go with you. The department already had to shift people around to take me back early. I don't dare ask for another leave of absence.’

  ‘I thought you’d be able to come with me.’ I lied so confidently that I nearly believed it myself. ‘I’m sorry. We can make sure we have the same days off?’

  ‘I’d hoped to spend more time with my fiancée, rather than less.’ Peter finally looked at me. ‘If you’re in Caer-grawnt, that’s not going to happen, is it?’

  It took a moment for me to get the words out. ‘Would you rather I didn’t go?’

  ‘No,’ Peter said immediately. ‘I know how important this is to you. We’ll just have to work out some way for us to see each other. It’s not like I can just drive over to Caer-grawnt.’ Then he smiled. ‘Here’s an idea. That search dragon who took James and me to the hospital. Raven. Do you think he’d be willing to help us out?’

  His innocent joy made me want to crawl under my seat. ‘We can always ask him.’