My Love Eternal

by Liz Strange

  “Rachel?”

  I turned, startled at the sound of Eli’s voice, thinking for one desperate second that it was Giovanni.

  I looked to the floor, away from where Eli stood in the doorway, pale and shaken. “Eli, I… ”

  He came to my side and wrapped his long arms around me. Before that night it had been a long time since he had touched me that way, and I was surprised at how much he’d changed. He was no longer the little boy I found those many years ago in the woods. It was strange being touched by another man. He was too tall, softer than Giovanni had been. I pulled him closer, my grief threatening to eat me from the inside out. With my face pressed into the scratchy fabric of his sweater, I was filled with a scent that was all wrong.

  Gently, he led me to the edge of the bed. We lowered ourselves to it, careful to keep ourselves wrapped in each other’s arms. He was silent, letting me expel my hurt without comment or interruption. Softly he stroked my hair, and wiped away the blood-tinged tears as I sobbed for what seemed like hours. I cried until it was impossible to cry anymore, though the pain was still raw and terrible.

  “Rachel, I’m sorry. I know there are no words that could ever help with this pain, but I am here and I will do whatever I can.”

  I nodded my head against his chest, still not ready to speak. “I loved him too, you know. He was the only father I have ever known.” He paused and pulled me more tightly into his arms. “And I love you, Rachel, with all my heart. There is no one more important to me than you, and if you are in pain then I’m in pain.”

  I pulled away slightly, and looked up into his clear blue eyes. His brow was ridged with worry. I touched his cheek and did my best to smile. “I know you love me, and that’s probably the only thing keeping me from not completely falling apart. If you weren’t here I would have done something really dangerous and reckless by now, and who knows who else may have gotten hurt.”

  “You did the right thing by coming with me. Charles is okay, and so is Charlotte, and we’re safe here for tonight, at least. Tomorrow we will get far away from here and then we can decide what to do next.”

  “Okay, though right now, I don’t know what the point of tomorrow would be.”

  Eli grabbed my shoulders and shook me with force. “Don’t ever speak like that, don’t even think like that! I still need you. I’ll always need you.”

  The intensity of his words surprised me, and I realised there was no trace left of the boy I raised. A strange man looked back at me with such passion and need in his eyes I was both horrified and touched. How could I have ever thought his feelings for me had gone away? We sat in the painful silence, both unable to look away from each other. I needed comfort and closeness to help soothe my pain, and Eli needed to have his lust and adoration of me fulfilled, even if only under contrived circumstances.

  He was trembling when he finally moved again, slowly reaching out to touch my face. His hand slipped into my hair, his fingers whispering along the skin on my neck. He brought himself forward, burying his face in my hair, and I melted into that embrace. As I wrapped my arms back around his body he released a sound full of need and gratitude.

  His hot breath was on my neck, a strange, intimate sensation I had not felt in more than two decades. He touched his forehead to my own, and spoke in rushed words. “I know that you don’t, and that you can’t love me the way that you love Giovanni, and that’s all right with me. I can love you enough for the two of us. I have always loved you, from that first moment as a child when I saw you sitting on the rock under the moonlight. You looked like something that came from Heaven, and my feelings for you have only grown stronger in the years we’ve spent together.”

  “Eli don’t,” I tried to interrupt, but he was not to be ignored.

  “You need to hear this, especially right now. You need to know that you are loved and needed, and that you always will be. You are my everything. I need to be close to you. I need to love you for the world to make sense.”

  “Eli, I love you too, but not like this. This is wrong, I can’t… ”

  “Shhh. I know what I’m saying, and I know what I’m doing. I’m not a child anymore. Just be with me, and let yourself forget about all that happened in the past twenty-four hours, at least for a short time. Let me love you, and help ease your pain.” Then he pressed his lips softly against my own. I tasted my tears on his mouth. Salt and blood mingled and his skin was so warm. My resolve cracked and I desperately wanted to forget! I didn’t want to be aware that my love was gone. I wanted to remove myself from the reality where Giovanni no longer existed. I needed the comfort and distraction Eli was offering.

  We fell back onto the bed and without another word shed our clothes. I lost myself to the feeling of Eli’s hands on my body, and his warm lips on my face. I pushed away all my anguish, and any thoughts of the guilt and shame I knew I would have when that night was over.

  Eli’s passion fuelled me, but could not bring me to the same level of desire he experienced for me. I could not break past the knowledge that my heart would always belong to another, whether he was with me in the flesh, or not. My body responded unwittingly, its arousal momentarily greater than my spirit’s grief. We made love fiercely, the act more savage than tender, pushing us both to an all-consuming crescendo. His heart thundered and my nails bit into his back. The smell of blood enveloped me, drawing out the darker side of my need.

  Eli’s sounds became more guttural and I knew he was near his limit. My own response was amplified by his satisfaction, and I let myself go completely to the pleasure. Then he pressed his mouth tightly to my ear, his hot breath overwhelmingly strange and wonderful to my senses, and said the words that I hoped would never come since he learnt the truth. “Take me. I want to be with you forever.”

  “No!” But the pleasure was too intense, and my hurt too raw. He did not relent. With his arm that was under my body, he pulled me in tightly against his body. His hand slid up my back to the base of my neck. He forced my face against his warm throat, where my mouth found his throbbing vein. I tried to pull away, but his hand was firm. If I had truly wanted to break away, my strength would have been no match for him, but truthfully in that moment I wanted the taste of his blood. I wanted to know if his blood could be sweeter than his kiss. I was weak and confused. My fangs enlarged and the blood lust grew.

  As he reached his climax, I used my strength to turn us until I was on top. His eyes were bright with passion and he did not resist. As his body was overflowed with the pleasure of our sexual encounter, I clamped my mouth onto his neck to realise a gratification of my own. My teeth pierced his flesh and my mouth was immediately filled with his warm, rich blood. It was sweet! I drank and drank as powerful memories assaulted my fragile mind, but I did not stop. I could smell Eli’s scent, sex and blood. Then as the flow began to ebb, my mind cleared enough to understand the implications of what I had just done.

  I looked down onto Eli’s pale face, seeing a corpse and not the face of someone I had loved for all those years. I knew that if I did not share my dark gift with him that he would be lost forever. Giovanni’s face flashed before my eyes and I was bitterly aware that I could not endure the loss of another person whom I loved. I bit into the flesh of my wrist then pressed the open wound to Eli’s white lips. I squeezed and watched as my blood flowed into his mouth.

  His face was slack and some of the liquid ran from the corner of his mouth to stain the pillow beneath his head. For a minute like eternity I thought he might not make it. Then he coughed and struggled weakly beneath me. I squeezed harder, forcing more of my blood into his mouth until I felt his lips press against my flesh. Trembling hands grasped my arm, and he began to eagerly suck at the wound. I let him drink until I was overcome with dizziness, and I had to force him from my wrist.

  His head fell back to the bed, and he murmured softly. Blue eyes fluttered open briefly, making contact with my own, though I do not think he was at that point aware of my presence. Within minutes his pale skin be
came smoother and less ghastly. He was still very pale, but in a soft, milky way that had become so normal for my own reflection. His lips tinged with red. I gently pressed my fingertips against them, sighing when I felt their softness under my touch. Belatedly I was aware of the tears streaming down my face.

  I rose from the bed to leave him to the deepest slumber he would ever know. When he awoke the next night, there would be a whole new world waiting for both of us.

  Epilogue

  It was a long time after the night of Eli’s change before I was able to bring myself to write again. I lived those terrible days that followed full of shame, hurt and anger. Each night when I woke and looked into the face of the man I had condemned to eternal darkness and bloodlust, it was all that I could do to make myself continue. Though I knew Eli had gotten what he wanted, and that he has never had a moment of anger toward me, I still felt as if I had made a dreadful mistake.

  Charles took the events in stride, though perhaps because he really had no choice but to go along with it if he chose to remain in our company. There had been no time then to explore the motivations or implications of my actions. We needed to leave England quickly, and even now, we speak of those events very little.

  The next night we made our way to the mainland of Europe, and began our meandering way back to North America. Charlotte took care of all the arrangements to close the house, and to make sure all the servants were rewarded for their good work. I suspected none of them would ever need to work again. The house itself I left to Jacob for his loyalty.

  Charles moved us through a series of countries with the help of his contacts, until we were sure we had lost all signs of the Desmarais and their followers. I accessed the resources Giovanni had secured for me, and together we established a network of allies to keep an eye on the Desmarais and whatever activities they might be involved in. We wanted to be deadly certain they would never get the jump on us again.

  Eventually we found ourselves in San Francisco. There was so much activity, and so many different kinds of lifestyles there, that it was easy for us to blend in. I was surprised at the numbers of people we encountered that for whatever personal reason or circumstance, were also active only in the night.

  After all the months since tragedy struck, my first waking thought was always of Giovanni, and my days were filled with his presence in my dreams. The pain was still very raw, and at times I wondered if it would ever go away.

  I recently heard, through one of our confidants, that Charlotte had passed away. I have to wonder if the stress that we put her through contributed to her demise. Before she learnt of our secret, she had been a vibrant and formidable woman, and I thought of her as close to indestructible as a human could get. Though I had not seen her since that last night in her home, I felt a tremendous loss at her passing. She was a real friend, and I would miss her terribly.

  Just last week I began to write again. I struggled at first, spending hours to produce a single line, but now that I have persevered, my thoughts are rushing out. It has made a powerful difference in my ability to cope without Giovanni’s presence. Sometimes I am even able to lose myself to my writing, and forget for brief periods of time that he is gone. I have been thinking of even trying to publish some of my work, and I know that would have made him proud.

  Some nights though, the pain is just too great, and I can do nothing but sit alone and cry. More often than not in those moments, I find myself on a secluded bluff overlooking the sea. I can close my eyes and smell the ocean, and imagine that we are back in the Mediterranean. On those nights Charles and Eli both know it is best to leave me alone, and I’m thankful for that.

  Despite our differences Charles has remained with us. We have established a tenuous truce, an acceptance if you will. I don’t know that I would call us friends, but we definitely have a connection none can deny. I know we can count on him, and I imagine that after all the hundreds of years spent alone, this is not easy for him, and that he is doing the best he can. For now we just go on. We both have our guilt over Giovanni’s death, and I think his watchful eye over Eli and me helps to alleviate that for him.

  And of Eli, what can I say? He’s as wonderful as he always was, ever loyal and kind. He loves me still in his desperate, obsessive way, but has managed to keep it in check. Though we both know we can never be as he dreams, we are also aware that we are powerfully bound to one another for eternity. I give to him of myself what I can, and he never pushes for more. Some nights I share my bed with him, and others I spend alone, though on our nights apart Eli is never want for company. He has established himself at both a local campus, and in the city’s thriving club scene. I don’t blame any woman for wanting him, how could I? I must confess that it gives me a sad sense of comfort to know he would drop any and all other woman at the snap of my fingers.

  So, in the evenings I dedicate myself to my writing and the care of a small establishment that I have recently purchased. Together Charles and I keep a vigilant eye on our finances, and the activities of the Desmarais. Charles does whatever it is he does on his own time. Eli takes classes at the local university, where he, of course, is always at the top of the class. When classes are over he spends his time in one club after another unconsciously pursuing, I believe, a replacement for me. I hope for the both of us he finds one.

  It seems sometimes that the only thing we all have in common is our need for blood. Sometimes we hunt together, other times we go it alone. Charles and I are at a point where we don’t need to hunt each night, and the thrill I used to experience in my pursuits of humans has paled. Eli, who had a powerful mind even before the change, has an incredible control over his victims, to the point where he can drink from two or three a night, and have them all none the wiser. More often than not, he does not kill his victims, and I find that fact very telling.

  Tonight as I walked the streets I thought I caught a glimpse of my love’s face among the crowd. This has happened before, more often than I care to admit, but it is always a cruel trick of my mind. The first few times it happened I found myself chasing after a stranger with only a passing resemblance to the man I love, and in my anguish I confess I took their lives. Now I simply turn away.

  I miss you Giovanni. I always will.

  Forever in darkness, forever my love.

  About Liz Strange

  www.lyricalpress.com/lizstrange

  Liz has always had a fascination with the dark side— vampires in particular. She attributes this to her first vampire novel, Salem’s Lot, which she found at the ripe old age of 12. Since then there’s been no stopping her. In addition to anything written about her beloved bloodsuckers, Liz enjoys fantasy, horror and crime novels.

  In addition to writing and reading, Liz enjoys scary movies, soccer, history documentaries, live music, exercising and spending time with her four children. Someday, when not working, raising kids or writing, she hopes to travel the world. She has her sights set on Greece, Mexico and Easter Island.

  Reader eMail:

  lstrange@cogeco.ca

  About The Dark Kiss Trilogy Series

  Book I: My Love Eternal

  Available in ebook from Lyrical Press, Inc.

  Book II: A Second Chance at Forever

  Coming soon from Lyrical Press, Inc.

  Ready for more?

  Visit any of the following links:

  Lyrical Press

  lyricalpress.com

  -The End-

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