A FILTHY Friend (Filthy Line Book 5)

by Jaxson Kidman

  Nash droned on and had no interest in being there.

  When he finished talking, I went back to the mic again.

  “I just wanted to say that Mitchy was a good person. I know that’s cliché to say. He was a burned-out rock star junkie. His fate has always been this. To die alone. To die because of drugs. So let’s not hide from that. But the person. Mitchy. He was a good guy. I’ll never forget him. I hope nobody ever does.”

  I walked away.

  Ditching the band wasn’t a good look for me or the band.

  I knew they’d be pissed.

  But I had to walk away.

  I needed a minute to myself to cry.

  I stood in the hallway and waited for the band.

  I looked at my phone and told myself not to do it.

  She hasn’t replied. She’s read the text. She’s read all the texts. She knows you text that mushy shit when you’re drunk.

  I squeezed my phone in my hand.

  The side door opened and I saw Nash first.

  I touched my jaw. “Go ahead. One punch.”

  “For what?” Nash asked.

  “I bailed. I shouldn’t have done that.”

  The rest of the band came through the door.

  “Four punches,” I said. “I deserve it.”

  The guys closed in on me, and instead of punching me, they hugged me.

  The five of us hugged each other.

  In that dimly lit hallway on the ground floor of the record company.

  Someone’s hand balled up into a fist and hit my back a few times.

  “We get it,” Jay said.

  “I’ve been beating myself up,” Nash said. “I was harsh to him.”

  “We all were,” Dex said.

  “It was just the history of it all,” Reed said. “And we just didn’t think it would happen. That the son of a bitch would die.”

  “Part of me wishes we let him back in again,” Nash said. “We could’ve made him get clean and stay clean.”

  “Can’t go back now, Nash,” Jay said.

  I broke the hug. “Let’s just play this show and call it. When we go out on tour again, we’ll have something to honor him. Have a guitar on stage that never gets touched.”

  “That’s a good idea,” Reed said.

  “I couldn’t take it out there,” I said.

  “You said what you had to say,” Nash said. “The message got across. They can’t paint Mitchy as the bad guy.”

  “They will,” Dex said.

  “But our story is the truth,” Jay said. “Mitchy was a good guy. He got lost. He never found himself. Simple.”

  “They don’t get it.” I said. I shook my head. “It doesn’t even matter.”

  “Ah, this whole thing sucks,” Jay said. “I just want to play some loud music and…”

  “And what?” Nash asked with a grin. “Can’t be out there fucking strippers anymore, right?”

  “That’s true,” Jay said. “What the hell have I done to myself?”

  We all started to laugh.

  Reed grabbed my shoulder. “You’re the only one free to fuck, huh?”

  “Not a chance,” Nash said. “He’s tied down.”

  “You’re an asshole,” I said.

  As if I needed it to happen right then… Bree called me.

  When I saw her name on the screen, I turned.

  “Oh, is that her now?” Jay asked.

  “Wait a second,” I said. “She’s calling. She never calls.”

  “Maybe she’s lonely and horny,” Dex said.

  “Fuck off,” I growled.

  I hurried away from the band and answered the call.

  I hadn’t heard Bree’s voice in… years…

  “Hey,” I said.

  “Sebastian,” she said.

  Now that name I hadn’t heard in years either.

  I froze in place.

  “Bree? Are you okay?”

  I heard her break down into tears.

  “No… I’m not okay…”

  I walked around the corner of the hallway and stopped.

  Where the hallway ended was the main entrance to the record company.

  It was bustling with people.

  I turned to try and hide myself as Bree cried and told me her mother had died.

  I felt like someone punched me in the stomach.

  “Bree… oh, babe… what happened?”

  Bree sucked in a breath. “Car accident. It just… I talked to her last night. I don’t know if I said I loved her. I don’t know what I said to her. I always text her in the morning. But I was running late today…”

  “Hey, listen,” I said. “Try not to do that right now. Are you alone?”

  “No,” she said. “I’m hiding in the bathroom. Mia is with me. I had to answer questions. I had to… I had to go see…”

  Bree cried again.

  I shut my eyes.

  It felt like someone had a knife in my heart and was just twisting it over and over.

  “Bree…”

  “I don’t know what to do, Sebastian,” she said. “I’m sorry to bother you. I just saw that you were on TV. You didn’t have to answer me.”

  “Yes, I did,” I said. “I’ll always answer when you call. I’m always here, Bree. I promise, okay? Can you do me a favor? Just take like two deep breaths. Okay? I know the worst thing to say right now is to calm down… but just try two deep breaths for me.”

  I listened to her breathe.

  Two deep, shaky breaths.

  “Thanks, babe,” I said.

  “She’s gone,” Bree said. “They said she lost control of her car. What’s today… Thursday? She was going shopping. She always goes up on the main highway to do her shopping. She hates it. And now she’s… oh, I have to plan a funeral, right? What do I do now?”

  I heard a knock and the sound of Mia’s voice.

  “I’m fine,” Bree said.

  “Bree, open the door for Mia,” I said. “Let her help you. She’ll know what to do.”

  “I wish you were here with me, Sebastian,” Bree’s voice said.

  I gritted my teeth.

  I listened to Bree open the door.

  “Who are you talking to?” Mia asked.

  Then the phone was passed off.

  “Hello?” Mia asked.

  “Mia,” I said. “It’s Sab. Sebastian.”

  “She called you?” Mia asked.

  “Yeah. What the hell is going on?”

  “Her mother died in a car accident,” Mia whispered. “I was standing with her when she got the call. She almost passed out. I can’t keep my head straight right now. There’s a lot happening at once here.”

  “Just tell her to breathe,” I said. “I don’t know what else to say to her. I can’t believe this.”

  “Neither can I,” Mia said. “Look, I better go check on her. I have to get her home… I guess to my place…”

  “Can you do me a favor?” I asked.

  “What?”

  “When we hang up, text me all the addresses,” I said. “Your place. Her place. Everything. Please.”

  “Yeah, no problem,” Mia said.

  The call ended and I walked down the hallway.

  I turned the corner and saw the band was waiting for me.

  “Did you just have phone sex?” Jay asked.

  “No, that’s not his come face,” Reed said.

  “You know what his come face looks like?” Dex asked.

  “I have to go,” I said.

  “Wait, what’s wrong?” Nash asked.

  “I have to take the car and leave,” I said.

  “What are you talking about?” Jay asked.

  “I have to call Toby… I have to…”

  “Sab, look at me,” Nash said. He snapped his fingers. “Talk to me.”

  “I have to fly back to my hometown right now.”

  I had a bag with a change of clothes and my guitar.

  That was it.

  I looked like a poor rock star�
� as I walked to the private jet.

  The pilot was waiting for me.

  I thanked him for showing up on short notice even though he was getting paid a lot to be available for us.

  The band was going to take care of things in the city.

  My only focus was getting to Bree.

  The flight was only going to be a couple hours.

  The longest couple hours of my life.

  I got on the plane, alone, and stared out the window.

  When the plane took off, I just kept staring out the window.

  Watching the city turn into a flat surface, then finally losing sight of all land.

  We were tucked up in the clouds, and I was on my way to see Bree…

  “I’m going to be famous, babe. I know it.”

  “I know you are. Do you ever regret quitting marching band? I heard you could have gotten a scholarship to a really good college.”

  “College? What am I going to do with college, Bree? I’m not meant for that. I know what I want to do.”

  “Tell me again.”

  “I’m going to pack up some stuff and move to Los Angeles. That’s the plan. I’m going to get a band together and we’re going to tour the world. We’re going to be famous. I know to say something like that here is dumb. This kind of town just holds you close and not a lot of people leave. But I’m going to make it, babe.”

  “I believe in you, Sebastian.”

  “I need a good name though. I can’t be Sebastian.”

  “Oh? You want, what? A rock star name?”

  “Exactly.”

  “So… like… Vicious? Scumbag? Dirty? Something like that?”

  I laugh.

  Bree laughs too.

  She’s in a bikini.

  And she’s beautiful. Everything about her is beautiful. And maybe I’m being a little bit of a jerk as I casually look at her top and think about how different she is now. That just a few years ago she had braces, pimples and her chest was way flatter than it is now.

  But she’s my friend.

  Maybe even my best friend.

  “I think you’ll do it,” she says. “You never give up.”

  “I have no choice. If I don’t make it in LA then I’ll come back here. And if I do that, I’ll be miserable.”

  “Is it that bad here?”

  “For me it is. I know you like it here. Have you ever thought about leaving?”

  Bree smiles at me. “It’s getting cool out. I’m kind of cold.”

  “Shit. I didn’t bring anything extra…”

  I wrap my arm around her and pull her close to me.

  We’re sitting next to the river.

  On the really hot nights, the river sometimes smells.

  But tonight it’s perfect.

  She hugs me.

  I hug her.

  I’m just keeping her warm.

  Nothing more than that… right?

  I slowly turn my head.

  I mean, if she looks up at me… I’m looking at her… why can’t… we… kiss…

  I wait a few seconds.

  She doesn’t move.

  Her eyes are shut.

  I slowly lean back, holding her, her head on my chest.

  She falls asleep.

  I look at the stars.

  I’m going to be a famous rock star someday.

  And maybe if things work out, Bree will be by my side.

  There were ten thousand of those moments I could have replayed in my mind.

  I didn’t want to do that to myself.

  Or Bree.

  I looked at my phone.

  We were going to be landing soon.

  As long as Toby had done his job, a car would be waiting for me.

  Yeah, I was going to be that guy… the douchebag famous person driving a rental car through his old hometown. Hating every second I was there. Fighting off old memories.

  But if it got me to Bree…

  It was well worth it.

  4

  BREE

  I couldn’t stop shaking.

  It didn’t help that I had been drinking coffee like it was water.

  Ted took Gabby out for something to eat to get her out of the house.

  So on top of my mother dying unexpectedly, I now felt like I was in the way of Mia and her family.

  I had no more tears to cry.

  My eyes were puffy like I had gotten into a fight.

  My mind kept replaying the phone call.

  And everything after that.

  Needing to identify her…

  My stomach bubbled, I stood up and ran to the sink.

  I didn’t throw up.

  Even though I wanted to.

  I felt like I was really drunk. The kind of drunk where you knew if you threw up, it would all go away.

  I could throw up as much as I wanted but that would not bring my mother back.

  Her body was going to be sent to the funeral home.

  And then…

  What?

  I had to make every decision after that.

  The sick part was that when it came to making big decisions, I always called my mother.

  Now I couldn’t do that.

  I heard Mia walk into the kitchen.

  “Did you get sick?” she asked.

  “No,” I said.

  “Here. Take this.”

  I looked back and she put a pill on the table.

  “What’s that?”

  “It’ll calm you down,” she said. “Not that you need to be told to be calm… but… eventually you do need to try and rest a little. You’re not alone, Bree. But you can’t end up hurting yourself either.”

  I looked at the pill.

  Then at Mia.

  I shook my head.

  “I understand,” she said. “I’ll just leave it there.”

  “I should probably go,” I said.

  “Go where?” Mia asked.

  “I can’t stay here. I already chased Ted and Gabby away.”

  “You didn’t chase anyone away, Bree,” Mia said. “It’s fine. This is what friendship and family is. You need to stay here tonight. I’ll sleep in bed with you. Like we used to do when we were kids.”

  “I don’t want to mess up your life.”

  “Mess up my life? Are you kidding me? This is terrible, Bree. Your mother…” Mia stopped and lowered her head.

  She started to cry.

  She had been holding it in all day for me.

  I lunged from the sink and hugged her.

  “No, no, no,” she said. “I can’t do this in front of you. I’m a terrible friend.”

  “No you’re not,” I said. “Let it out. It helps me.”

  “She was a good person,” Mia cried. “She was so strong. She raised you alone. She always checked on Gabby. When I was so paranoid all the time that something was wrong, your mother answered the phone or came over to check on her. She helped me, Bree. She got me through some tough times in the beginning.”

  “I know,” I said. My throat tightened. “I know.”

  Mia wept and I held her.

  I managed to find a few more tears.

  My mother had been a single mother from the day I was born. She put herself through nursing school when I was a newborn and she took care of me and herself.

  This just wasn’t right. Or fair.

  Or…

  The doorbell rang.

  Mia stepped away and wiped her eyes. “Who the hell is that now?”

  “Maybe it’s someone for me,” I said. “I’ll answer it.”

  “Yeah,” Mia said. “Go ahead. I’ll be right there. Shit. I feel like a mess.”

  “Thank you, Mia,” I said. “For everything.”

  She nodded.

  I walked through the house to the front door.

  I really didn’t care how I looked.

  My mother was just killed in a car accident so looking nice was the last thing on my mind.

  I opened the front door and opened my mouth to talk.
>
  But I lost my words. And my breath.

  I stepped back and covered my mouth.

  “Hey, babe,” he said to me.

  Sebastian was here.

  I stepped to the side and felt myself going down.

  Sebastian jumped into the house and caught me.

  He slowly eased me down to my butt on the floor.

  I just stared at him.

  “How?” I whispered. “Why? How?”

  “Who was it?” Mia called out.

  “Just me,” Sebastian yelled.

  A few seconds later Mia appeared.

  She was as shocked as I was.

  “Sebastian?” Mia asked.

  “Why did you think I told you to get me the addresses?”

  “What happened?” I asked.

  “When you gave Mia the phone,” Sebastian said. “I got her address and yours. A few others. I flew up here to see you.”

  “You… flew…”

  “Private jet,” he said with a half smirk.

  “Why?” I asked.

  “I made you a promise a long time ago, Bree,” he said. “I’m keeping that promise. Come on, stand up. Talk to me.”

  “Let’s get her on the couch and she can sleep there,” Mia said. “Or you can carry her to the bedroom.”

  Sebastian carrying me to a bedroom? Helloooo…

  My cheeks warmed up as Sebastian touched my hand and my back.

  I climbed to my feet and was still shaking.

  “You’re shivering,” he whispered.

  “Coffee,” I said. “Way too much coffee.”

  “Ah,” he said. “Do you want to stay here?”

  “No,” I whispered.

  “Just sit on the couch for a minute then,” he said.

  I nodded.

  Sebastian walked me to the couch and I sat down.

  “Mia, can I get her a glass of water or something?” Sebastian asked

  “Yeah,” Mia said. “Follow me.”

  They walked away and I sure as hell wasn’t going to sit there while they were talking about me.

  I stood up and snuck toward the kitchen, hiding behind a wall.

  “I can’t believe you’re here,” Mia said to Sebastian.

  “Neither can I,” he said. “Her mother… really?”

  “Yeah,” Mia said. “I’m in shock. I haven’t even had a second to process it myself. I was standing with Bree when she got the call. It was…”