Saving Bliss

by Rachael Brownell

  "What about the order?" I ask.

  "Nothing makes sense about the order. Jay is convinced that there's a story, but I don't see anything. We may have to wait until he decodes the email before we know more about it." His eyes flick to mine, and I see it. The concern. Something about the pictures is bothering him, but what?

  "Tell me. I know you're hiding something." He continues to stare at me but doesn't say anything. "Please," I beg.

  "What I don't understand is how this person has so much access to you. How did they know you would be at the library?" he asks, pointing to the picture of Avery and me from last week. "It can't be a coincidence they were there. What about here?" Owen points to another picture of me from the coffee shop during study group. Judging by the date, it was the first time we met for the semester. "This was your first study session. Who knew you were meeting there?"

  "I think only our group."

  "Just the four of you?"

  "I can't say for sure, but I didn't tell anyone else." I try to think back to conversations I may have had. Did someone ask me what I was doing that night? Did I volunteer the information without realizing I was doing it?

  "Maybe that's where we start, then. We need to break down each picture. Where was it taken? Who was there? Who was there but isn't in the picture? We need to work backward to figure this out. If we can narrow it down to a few people, it will be easier to pinpoint who might be taking the pictures or giving away your location."

  I groan loudly, knowing that this is going to take the entire holiday weekend. I was looking forward to a break from school work. All I wanted was for us to have a nice dinner and relax. My plans have now changed.

  "I'll grab a marker. We can write on the back of the photos." I push myself off the floor with a huff. Owen grabs my hand and tugs me down onto the couch next to him. I turn to face him, and he's close, closer than I was expecting him to be. He rests his forehead against mine.

  "I promise, Bliss. As soon as we figure this out and make sure you’re safe, we will finish our conversation from last night. I want to talk about it now, but I can't let my feelings for you distract me from keeping you safe. They let you walk out the front door alone this morning. I can't let that happen again."

  I close my eyes and relax into him. I understand what he's saying, but I hate waiting. I know he cares about me. I want to hear him say it. I need to hear him say it. The uncertainty will drive me crazy. I'll deal with it for now, but not for long. We need to figure this shit out. Quick. For more reasons than one.

  8

  Owen

  I want to kiss her, but I resist the urge, push it down deep, and pray that when she opens her eyes, she understands what I'm trying to tell her. I can't say it out loud. I can't tell her I'm falling in love with her. If she heard what I just said, she knows I care about her, and that must be enough for now. It's all I can say without compromising everything I'm here for.

  The look in her eyes confirms that she understands. I can also tell she doesn't like it. There's a fire burning. It's a mix of desire and determination. She wants to figure this shit out as badly as I do. Good. After I know for sure who this mystery photographer is, we can focus on other things. Mainly us.

  After Bliss disappears down the hall in search of a marker, I take the opportunity to get my shit together. I take a few deep breaths and send Jay a text asking if he's figured out the code yet. I get a reply instantly. No. I contemplate asking about the sender but figure it’s best not to bother him if he's working on it.

  Bliss' voice filters into the living room. She must be on the phone. She sounds frantic, so I make my way to her room. I'm about to knock on her door when I hear my name.

  "Owen's not going to leave the apartment. Can you just drop it off outside, and I'll figure it out? I know it needs to go in the oven. I'll have to figure it out. I guess it won't be a surprise. Are you still going to help me or not, Avery? Don't be a bitch. Forget it, then. Whatever. I'll see you when you get back." She lets out a growl and something crashes against the wall.

  Slowly backing away, I return to the couch and wait for Bliss to join me. It takes her a few minutes, but when she does, a fake smile is plastered on her face. I don't know what they were fighting about, but she's obviously not happy with Avery. She'll get over it. This will consume most of her weekend. By the time she heads back to class on Monday morning, her fight with Avery will be long forgotten.

  "Did you find a marker?" I ask, attempting to act as naturally as possible. I should be good at this. I used to lie for a living. For some reason, when it comes to those I love, I can't lie worth a shit. I know she's read right through me when she tilts her head to the side and squints her eyes at me.

  "I did," she says as she waves the marker in the air. She eyes me for a minute before taking a seat on the floor in front of the pictures again. I let out the breath I was holding, assuming I played off my innocence, when Bliss drops the bomb on me. "I know you were in the hall. I saw your shadow."

  "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to eavesdrop. I heard you yelling, and I thought something was wrong." Honesty. I'm going to try being completely honest with her from now on.

  "Something was wrong. Avery was being a bitch. She was supposed to bring a nice Thanksgiving dinner over here to surprise you, but that's not going to happen now. Avery—"

  Bliss stops mid-sentence and gasps. I wait a few beats, but she doesn't continue.

  "What about her?"

  "Avery." She repeats her name no louder than a whisper.

  "You're going to have to give me more than that, Bliss."

  Grabbing a photo off the floor and turning toward me, Bliss shakes the photo in my face. "It's Avery. She has to be the one. She's in a few pictures, but she's the only person I talk to on a regular basis who would know where I am almost all the time. She's also one of the only people who knows why you're here, the real reason. She came to visit me over the summer, and if my dad hadn't hired you, we would be living together this year. It's Avery, Owen. I know it. I don't want it to be, but my gut is telling me that it's her. She has to be involved somehow."

  I take the photo from her and study it. It's from last week at the library. Avery isn't looking at the camera. In fact, she looks as if she's trying to look away from it. Her face is partially covered by a book and turned down at an awkward angle. There's no way she could be reading the book from that position.

  "Can you hand me that one?" I ask Bliss, pointing to the one of Bliss during her study group. Bliss reaches across the floor and picks the photo up, studying it.

  "Avery's not in my study group. Why do you want this one?" Bliss' nose wrinkles up in confusion as she hands me the picture.

  "I'm trying to figure out where the photographer was based on the picture. We might need to go out and explore." I scan the photo then finally see what I'm looking for. "You see this glare right here?" I ask pointing to the top right corner of the photo. "This means that whoever took the photo took it from outside."

  "So, they weren't even inside the coffee shop?"

  "Nope."

  "Did Avery know you were going to be at a study group that night?"

  "I don't remember telling her, but she might have been there when we discussed meeting up. She's in that class but has never been interested in study groups. We sat together in class, and I talked to Scott in the courtyard that day about meeting up. I don’t remember is we were still together when I was talking to him."

  You can tell she’s attempting to remember. Her brow is wrinkled as if it hurts to try.

  "How did you meet Avery?"

  "In a class last fall. We sat next to each other on the first day and hit it off. Why?"

  Wanting to tread carefully, I think for a minute about how I want to say this. I don't want to hurt Bliss' feelings, but I don't think there's going to be a way to tip toe around it. Honesty. I have to be honest with her.

  "I think we need to find out more about Avery. I'm going to have Jay look into her. I know you d
on't want to hear this, but she might be the reason you're in trouble. I have no idea how big of a player she is. She might just be a pawn, or she might be the queen. We need to know as soon as possible. Most importantly, I need for you to make sure that you act as naturally as possible around her so she doesn't suspect anything."

  Bliss lies back on the floor, scattering the pictures, and lets out a huff. "Basically you're telling me that my best friend isn't really my best friend. She's not someone I can trust, but I need to act the same around her as I always have."

  "Basically."

  "Do you have any idea how hard that's going to be? We've shared everything with each other for the last year. She knows all my deep, dark secrets. We talk multiple times a day. We have almost every class together. We hang out between classes. How am I supposed to act naturally when I won't have a moment to myself to breathe?"

  "I'll be right there by your side. If you get overwhelmed, tell me, and we'll find a way to leave as casually as possible." Bliss closes her eyes and bites her bottom lip. I watch her chew on her delicious lip for a few minutes before I speak again. "We don't know anything for sure, Bliss. We could be wrong, but I don't think we are. Your instincts told you that Avery could be behind this. I think we need to run with this idea and see where it takes us."

  "I know. Call Jay. Fill him in." She doesn't bother to open her eyes as she speaks.

  I grab my phone off the couch and type out a quick text to Jay.

  Me: I need for you to check into a girl named Avery Russell

  Jay: Age

  Me: 21/22

  Jay: From

  Me: Here somewhere

  Jay: Give me 5

  I wait patiently for my phone to chime. After twenty minutes, I start to get worried he isn't going to be able to find anything. Bliss is staring at me from her spot on the floor. She's still lying on her back, hands behind her head propping it up, which is also pushing her chest out a little. I'm watching her out of the corner of my eye because I know if I look at her, my resolve to wait will break and I'll climb on top of her. I need for my phone to chime so that I’ll have something to occupy my mind and my eyes.

  When it finally does, I'm surprised at what I see.

  Jay: I can't find anything on her before a few years ago. That normally means it's a fake identity. I'll let you know if I find more. Be careful for now.

  I make eye contact with Bliss, and she recognizes the concern in my eyes immediately. Sitting up, she slides her feet under her body and bows her head in defeat. "I take it we're right."

  "I don't know, but we might be." I try not to sound optimistic, but it's hard. If Avery is the one that we need to be cautious of and we've figured this out already, we might be able to put all the pieces together and keep Bliss safe.

  "What did Jay find?"

  Remembering my promise to myself to be honest with Bliss, I sigh. I can't keep this from her. It will scare her, but I'll be here for her if she needs me. Every step of the way.

  "Nothing. That's the problem. Avery Russell didn't exist before a few years ago."

  Bliss

  Avery didn't exist a few years ago. She's not who she says she is. My best friend is a stranger. The person I've confided in, the person I trust most, has just shattered my world. I don't know what to think. I don't know what to say.

  I excuse myself and head to my room. Closing the door behind me, I press my back against it and allow my body to slide to the floor. I'm not sure how long I sit there. I stare across my room at the pieces of my broken cell phone. The phone I threw at the wall only an hour ago because I was fighting with my best friend.

  That phone now lies in pieces scattered across the floor. What a great representation of my life right now. My relationship with Avery is one piece of my life. Owen is another. Then there's school and my family. None of those pieces have ever quite fit together perfectly. It's one of the things I've always loved about my life. There was no such thing as an ordinary day.

  Avery seemed to fit, though. That's what I don't understand. When we met at the beginning of last year, it seemed like we were the same person. We had all the same interests. Looking back now, it seems almost too perfect a match.

  The day we met, I had just had a fight with my boyfriend. I was relieved when she sat down next to me in class and immediately introduced herself. She was upbeat and friendly. She was exactly the type of person I needed to change my mood. We talked for a few minutes while we waited for the professor. After class, she invited me to grab a coffee before my next class—a class she was in, as well. She was in all of my classes.

  We became fast friends. I don't remember a time after that first day that we didn't spend every moment together on campus. After a few months, it was as if she lived at my apartment. We talked about moving in together. We even talked about going on vacation together for spring break last year, but her parents had plans for her.

  Her family. I don't remember her talking much about them. I have no idea what her parents do. I know she's from here, from the city. That's about where the personal information ends. Why don't I know more about her? How is it possible that I've shared so much about myself with someone who's shared so little with me?

  There's a knock on my door, the noise catching me off guard, causing me to jump. I don't speak, and I don't bother to answer it. I know Owen won't enter without permission, so I sit in silence and wait for him to give up. He knocks two more times before he calls out to me through the door.

  "Will you at least let me know you're in there and that you're okay? As okay as you can be right now. That you're not in any immediate danger. Knock on something once if you need me to come in. Twice if you're fine."

  I close my eyes and listen as he begs me for a sign. I give him what he needs, knocking twice on the wall. The last thing I need is for him to worry about me right now. I'm safe. I'm in the apartment. I'll let him worry once we're out of the safety zone.

  "Thank you. I'll be in the living room if you need me. Are you hungry? Knock on something once if you want something to eat."

  My appetite is gone. I should eat something, but that would mean leaving the solitude of my room behind me and being peppered with questions. There has to be some clue as to why Avery is involved in all of this. I'm the only one who will be able to give Owen the answers. I'm not afraid of the questions. I'm afraid of the looks he's going to have on his face when I finally emerge from my room. It's going to be a look of pity. The last thing I want is for Owen to pity me.

  Through my door, I hear his phone alert him to a text followed by the sounds of his feet against the floor carrying him. I contemplate getting up and finding out if there’s any news, but I don't have the ambition. If it's important, he'll come back and let me know.

  I push myself off the floor and make my way over to the scattered remains of my cell phone. I'm going to need to pick up a new one tomorrow. Dropping the pieces in the garbage can by my desk, I take a seat on the edge of my bed and start thinking about what I'm going to say when I see Avery on Monday.

  Owen told me to act as naturally as possible. Yeah, we're fighting right now but not over anything that would give me a reason to push her away for more than just a few days. Plus, I know she'll apologize first thing in the morning. It's what she always does. I'm pretty sure there hasn't been a day that's gone by since meeting each other that we haven't talked.

  I frown at the thought. I've relied so heavily on Avery for friendship and support over the last year that I'm not sure where I end and she begins. We've become inseparable. The hardest part to swallow is the fact that she didn't start a friendship with me because of the person that I am, because she was interested in creating a meaningful or lasting relationship. She sought me out and became my friend to use me for reasons still unknown.

  Knowing that it’s time to face the reality of my situation, I head back out into the living room. Owen’s waited long enough for me to get my shit together.

  "There you are. I was beginning to wond
er if you would come back out tonight. Are you doing okay?" Owen’s concern doesn't surprise me. The look in his eyes earlier tonight told me everything I need to know right now. He cares about me just like I care about him. What he doesn't understand is that I feel completely alone in the world right now. I need him. I need him as more than my protector and roommate.

  "I'm fine," I say in a huff as I take a seat next to him on the couch.

  Owen turns to me and waits for me to make eye contact with him before he speaks. "What is it, Bliss? I can hear it in your voice. I know something is wrong, and it can't just be about Avery. We have all weekend to figure it out and make a plan. What's really on your mind?"

  The way I see it, I have two options. I can be honest with him about how I'm feeling right now or I can lie. Lying sounds like the better, less complicated plan. Honesty, as hard as it's going to be to admit my feelings, will probably get me farther. Neither are probably going to get me what I want. Not tonight.

  "You." The word slips past my lips before I have a chance to change my mind. "I'm alone, Owen. I don't have a relationship with my parents, not one that means much anyway. My only friend isn't really a friend. My bodyguard is frustrating me and won't or can't do anything about it. So, I need you. I need a friend. I need a roommate. I need someone in my life that cares about me."

  I watch as he swallows, his Adam's apple bobbing, before opening his mouth to speak, only to shut it quickly, pressing his lips together. Leaving him on the couch, I give him a few minutes to collect his thoughts. I didn't mean to throw him a curveball or ask for more than I know he can give. I just need a friend, someone I can trust. I need him.

  I'm about to grab two glasses from the cupboard for sweet tea when I feel Owen place his hands on my hips. I let my head drop to my chest, and my eyes close. His touch causes a shiver to run through my body. Before I have a chance to pull myself together, he spins me around. My eyes open just as Owen’s body presses me against the counter and his lips land on mine.