What's Left of Us

by Amanda Maxlyn

  When she looks up, our eyes meet. Her smile widens, flashing her white teeth. Her eyes dance with mine and everything around me stops as I zoom in only on her, in what feels like slow motion. Just that one look has me aching. Her smile means everything to me.

  Handing Hannah back to Genna she comes over to me, snuggling into my side. Resting her head on my shoulder, she wraps her arms tightly around me.

  “You’re staring off into space.”

  “I was?”

  She nods. “With a big grin on your face, too. What’s on your mind?”

  “You,” I say, glancing down at her clasped hands that are resting on my side. Her wedding and engagement rings glint up at me. We engraved part of our vows on the inside of each of our wedding bands. It makes me smile every time I look at either of them: a constant reminder of what we mean to one another. Hers says infinity and mine says my love, my life, my friend. We didn’t share the engravings until our wedding day.

  “Truth,” she teases. “What are you thinking about?”

  “That is the truth. I saw your rings and it made me think about our wedding day and, of course, your beautiful smile.”

  “Is that so?”

  I feel her smile into my shoulder. “Yes.”

  “That was a good day.”

  “The best.”

  “You know what will be even better?”

  “Hmm?” I don’t know what could top that day.

  She lowers her voice so only I can hear. “The day we bring home our baby.”

  “I can’t wait for that day, Aundrea.”

  “Hey, um, I hate to break up this love fest you two have going on, but, Dre, you’ve yet to give me an answer about next Saturday.”

  “Hmm?” She breaks away from me, turning to face Genna.

  Saturday. I ponder the word, thinking about what next Saturday is, but nothing comes to mind. I see Aundrea trying to recall the same thing, and see the realization cross her face the moment she remembers.

  “I already gave you my answer. No, Genna, I am not volunteering at your school’s prom. No. Way.”

  Genna stopped substitute teaching two years ago when she was hired as a full-time English teacher.

  “Please, Dre. I’m begging you,” Genna pleads. “Don’t make me get on my hands and knees.”

  “No.”

  “Please?”

  “I’m not doing it.”

  I shake my head at them and take another bite of my sandwich.

  “Come on. Think of how much fun we’d have.”

  “I don’t want to go to your prom, Genna. I’m sorry.”

  Genna lets out a long, heavy sigh. “Fine. But will you at least go dress shopping with me, then? Jean said if I go to the cities she’ll be able to hook me up. There’s some big trunk show tomorrow.”

  Trunk show? What the hell is a trunk show?

  “I don’t know …” Aundrea bites her lip.

  “Dreeee,” Genna whines like a two-year-old.

  “Whaaaat?” Aundrea mocks in the same annoying tone.

  Genna laughs. “Please.”

  “Okay, okay. I want to see Jean anyways.”

  “Oh thanks.”

  Aundrea giggles. “What time in the morning?”

  “Nine okay?”

  “Yes.”

  “Maybe text Amy and see if she wants to come with? We could make it a girls’ day?”

  Girls’ day. I know what that means. It’s when women gather around with drinks and talk about their husbands or boyfriends, then come home and say they didn’t.

  “That’s a great idea! I’m sure she’ll love that.”

  Once Genna leaves I ask Aundrea, “What’s this about going to prom?”

  Aundrea explains that the school is short on volunteers to chaperone and Genna has been trying to get her to help. “That sounds like fun. I’d even go with you. You know, as your date.”

  “That is exactly why I didn’t mention this to you.”

  “What?” I give her a sinful grin.

  “I knew you’d be all for it.”

  “And that’s a problem why?”

  She ignores me, walking into our bedroom. I follow quickly on her heels, stripping my shirt off as I go. When she turns around, she shakes her head, smiling.

  “What are you doing?”

  I wiggle my eyebrows and she swallows. Thoughts of finishing what we started earlier have taken over.

  Slowly I pull off my remaining clothes.

  “Parker.”

  I take a few painfully slow steps toward her. “Aundrea.” Reaching her, I wrap my arms around her tiny waist, yanking her against me. “Go.” Kiss. “To.” Kiss. “Prom.” Kiss. “With.” Kiss. “Me.” Kiss.

  She exhales, breathlessly. “It’s not our prom, Parker.”

  “Who says it can’t be? You can’t be a college graduate next month without ever having experienced prom.”

  “Says who?”

  “Me. I won’t allow it. Now, will you please be my prom date?”

  “I have to admit the gesture is sweet.”

  I push my naked body against hers. “What do you say? I’ll pick you up you at six thirty and have you home by eleven,” I tease.

  She throws her head back, letting out a light laugh. “Are you trying to persuade me with your nakedness?”

  “Is it working?”

  “As tempting and delicious as that sounds, I’m going to respectfully decline your offer.” Her eyes soften. “But I’d be happy to finish what we started in the living room.”

  I scoop her up, throwing her light frame over my shoulder. Sex now, prom planning later.

  “Parker!”

  “You asked for it!”

  Opening the shower door, I step inside. I have to shift her weight to turn on the shower, and she screams in shock at the sudden coldness as I accidentally put her in the way of the water.

  Carefully, I release her and soon enough the water becomes warm. Her clothes are drenched, molding to her curves, and I nod in approval.

  “I said the living room. To finish what we started in the living room.”

  “But this is more fun.”

  She rolls her eyes as I press my lips to the corner of her mouth.

  “I can’t believe you’re mine,” I murmur.

  “Only yours.”

  “Always.”

  “Always,” she repeats.

  Aundrea once told me she doesn’t believe in only one life. That she believes in souls reconnecting long after death, spending an eternity side by side among the stars.

  Aundrea is my life. My eternity.

  She’s my forever and always.

  “Come out. I want to see!” Jean exclaims.

  “Yes, come on,” Genna adds sweetly.

  I can’t believe I let them talk me into this. One minute I’m helping Genna decide on a dress, and the next I’m being coerced into trying on a dress myself. Which turned into two dresses, three dresses … seven dresses.

  It’s not that I didn’t think it would be fun, I just wasn’t expecting to play dress-up.

  Pulling the curtain aside, I step out to face them.

  “Dre.” Genna grins, water filling her eyes.

  “You look ...” Jean’s voice falls off as she searches for the right word.

  “Stunning,” Amy finishes for her.

  “Really?” I ask, shocked. That’s not the reaction I got to the other dresses.

  I turn back to face the mirror and study myself. The autumn orange dress fits like a glove, hugging my body perfectly. There’s a long slit up the right side, and gold beads along the bodice coming to rest just above the slit. It really is flattering on me.

  I can’t help but smile as I take in my appearance. I could totally see myself wearing this somewhere. Bouncing on my tiptoes with excitement, I turn back to face them.

  “It really is a pretty dress.”

  “Is that a smile I see slipping through,” Genna taunts, stepping closer. She reaches out, poking my growing s
mile.

  “Yes,” I tease back.

  “Okay, hold still. I need to take a picture,” Genna announces, handing Hannah to Jean. With her cell phone, she snaps a picture of me posing with one hand on my hip and the other bent at the elbow, resting behind my head. “Great! Mom will love that one!”

  I giggle, relaxing my cheesy pose.

  We’ve snapped pictures of each other trying on dresses, texting them to Shannon and my mom as if we’re putting on our own runway show. The mini photo shoot reminds me of sitting in the hospital with my mom, receiving texts from my friends as they went dress shopping for our senior prom. It feels good being able to make new memories.

  “A dress should never wear you. You should wear the dress,” Jean proudly explains, handing Hannah back to Genna. “And you, Dre, are wearing this dress. You should get it.”

  I look down, taking the fabric between my fingers. “I wouldn’t have anywhere to wear it.” I shrug before turning around and stepping back into the fitting room to change.

  “You could wear it this Saturday if you’d agree to volunteer with Jason and me!” Genna’s voice carries through the door.

  “You talked Jason into going?”

  She doesn’t answer me. “It will be fun, Dre.”

  I smile at my reflection in the mirror again, taking in the dress. It’s really stunning. A part of me wants to go, but the other part is sure I’ll just feel out of place the entire time.

  Genna doesn’t press the subject.

  When we go to pay, the cashier declines Genna’s money for her gown, announcing it was already taken care of. Apparently Jean worked it out to have the dress donated, which was extremely nice of her. Since graduating from the University of Minnesota with a major in fashion, she’s built professional relationships with some of the top designers in North America. I don’t know all the specifics of her job, but I do know she loves it, always looks fantastic, and gets to travel the world.

  “Do you three have time for lunch?” Jean asks, glancing at her watch.

  I don’t need to look. I always have time for my best friend.

  We head to a small bistro in the heart of downtown Minneapolis—one of Jean’s favorite places to eat.

  “This is so good,” Genna moans around a bite of whipped chocolate mousse. “I’m so going to try and make this. Oh, that reminds me, are the three of you free in a couple weeks? It doesn’t matter when, really, but I’d like to have you over as taste testers. I got hired for my first official Genna’s Touch Catering job for a grand opening here in town, and they’ve asked me to create a full menu for about three hundred people.”

  When Genna was pregnant she decided to do some catering jobs on the side to help save money for her maternity leave. She didn’t expect that she’d have so much fun or that her food would become such a huge hit. When she started getting calls from small businesses wanting to hire her, she decided that she’s going to resign from her teaching position at the end of the year and turn her passion for cooking into a business. Jason is fully on board and they’ve decided to remodel their kitchen, transforming it into a chef’s dream.

  Jean whistles. “Damn.”

  “Wow,” Amy stammers. “Nothing like getting started out.”

  “Good for you! And, of course, count me in,” I say excitedly.

  “Me too.”

  “Of course I’ll be there!”

  “Great!” She grins. “If Kevin, Parker, and Brandon are up for it they can come too. It could be fun. Oh, Amy, Ethan is more than welcome to come, too.”

  “Thanks, Genna. I’m sure he’d like that.”

  “That sounds like a great idea,” I say.

  Jean scoffs and I raise my eyebrows. She doesn’t answer right away, just sighs. “That just sounds too much like a couple thing.”

  “Couple thing?” Genna and I ask together, looking at one another.

  She shrugs. “Yeah, you know, where you arrive together, sit together and smile, and then go home together.”

  “Wait, I’m confused. Umm? Aren’t you and Kevin together? For like almost two years now,” I remind her. She ignores me, taking a bite of fruit salad.

  At first, Kevin was the last person I wanted to see my best friend date because he can be immature at times but, overall, he’s a decent guy and makes her happy.

  “Eh, technicalities. We’re more like two adults who happen to enjoy sex with each other and don’t mind hanging out afterward.”

  According to her, it was “fuck at first sight.” They met at our engagement party, slept together that night—or, the next day, if we’re getting technical—and haven’t been able to stop since. They’re a couple.

  “Whatever you say.” I give her a teasing smile, but her eyes flash at me warningly.

  “And when do you move into the house?” she inquires.

  “What house? You bought a house? How come I didn’t know this?” Genna practically chokes as she coughs down the bite of bread she had in her mouth.

  Amy cocks her head, surprised that my sister doesn’t know.

  Jean’s eyes dance between Genna and me laughingly.

  “What’s so funny?” I ask.

  “Nothing.” She chuckles. “I just find it a little funny you didn’t tell your own sister about your anniversary present.”

  “Same here.” Amy giggles, then covers her mouth, trying to force herself to stop, but can’t.

  Genna’s scowl darkens. Her naturally pale skin begins to form a light crimson color. “Wait! That was your anniversary present. You said you went for a drive.”

  I roll my eyes. “I was starting to tell you the story, but Hannah got fussy and you had to go. You never called me back and I haven’t talked to you since.”

  “Um, last night,” she says emphatically, she stays completely relaxed as she rocks a sleeping Hannah in her arms.

  I think about last night and what she interrupted. “I wasn’t really in the mood to discuss anything last night.”

  “Because you were having sex before I arrived.”

  I blush a little. Talking about my sex life never gets easier. Sometimes I wish I was more open, like Jean.

  Jean perks up. “This is getting good.” Or maybe not.

  Ignoring them, I keep my focus on Genna. “I meant to tell you. I’m telling you now. I’m sorry.” I give her my best little sister smile, which is more of a pout with pleading, soft eyes, which always makes her laugh.

  She tries to fight her smile, but her mouth eventually gives way. “You’re forgiven. Now, tell me all about this beautiful house. I want to know where it is, how many rooms, the colors, layout, kitchen, everything.”

  I shake my head. She’s exactly like my mom. Way too detail-oriented.

  Amy starts to describe the house before I can, not hiding her excitement. Eventually she lets me join in, telling Genna every detail, down to the crown molding.

  Hannah slowly wakes up, smacking her lips and opening and closing her mouth.

  “Is somebody hungry? I ask in my best baby voice.

  “She sure is.”

  When Genna pulls out a bottle I offer to feed Hannah, reaching across the table to take her.

  “Soon that will be you, Dre.” I hear the love in Genna’s voice, but I tense. How does she know?

  Amy’s mouth opens but I shake my head at her and she nods.

  “Well, um, actually …” Genna and Jean look at me with anticipation while Amy grins. “Parker and I have decided that we’re going to start looking into agencies to help us find a surrogate.”

  “A baby!” Jean squeaks.

  Genna breaks out into a huge smile and her eyes go all soft. “Dre, you’re having a baby?”

  “Not right now,” I tease. “It’s going to be a process, but one we’re ready to start.”

  “Dre,” Genna whispers, “I’m so happy for you.” She stands and gives me a gentle hug, careful not to disrupt Hannah.

  “Have you told Mom yet?” she asks, smiling wide.

  I shak
e my head. “No, but soon. I want something solid to tell her before I get her excited.”

  I glance at Jean, making sure she’s okay after her loud screech of “A baby!” Her head is shaking, mouth ajar, face stunned, and her newly cut bob is swirling around her face with each head bobble.

  “Jean?” I say cautiously.

  “I’m at a loss for words, but I’m happy for you. You know that, right? I’ll always be in your corner, supporting you, Dre.”

  “I know.”

  Jean knows every fear of mine. She has since we were kids. I know she’s probably stunned at our decision to have a child, but I also know she’s happy for me and that she’ll have my back. No matter what.

  “I couldn’t be happier for her. When she told me, I had the same reaction.” Amy gives me a warm smile.

  “You knew?” Genna asks, stunned.

  “Yes.”

  Genna looks my way, shocked, and I give a sympathetic shrug. Genna just doesn’t like feeling left out.

  “I saw her at Mayo and she told me all about it.” Amy recovers quickly.

  “Did you find an agency?” Genna asks.

  I nod. “An independent company just outside of Rochester called Circle of Life. I fell in love with their mission and I think Parker was just happy to be done searching.” Or maybe it was the other way around. I smile, remembering last night. “I’m going to call on Monday to schedule an appointment. I promise you’ll be the first to know when we sign, Genna.”

  She gives me a pleased smile.

  The discussion quickly turns to baby names, Genna’s suggestions making us all laugh. I’m not sure how she comes up with some of them so fast, considering I’m not sure a lot of them are even real names.

  I like thinking that someday Parker and I will be having this discussion and I doubt it will be an easy decision.

  Even though I didn’t see this part of my life at one time, I see it now. This is how everything was supposed to turn out. Being a wife, having a great career, a family, and the support of those that mean the most to me.