War of the Posers

by Eric Ugland

  I saw Boris waving, pointing along the walkway.

  Pomeroy was breathing hard. I was starting to doubt the wisdom of this whole ordeal. Still, after a few more seconds, Pomeroy took in a big breath, stood up straight, and nodded.

  “Ready,” he whispered.

  We moved a little quicker than was prudent for being quiet, but we managed to catch up with Shae and Boris. And finally I sort of recognized where we were, because I saw the balcony ahead.

  “Keep low,” I said. “And be quiet.”

  Pomeroy nodded. I felt like he was finally starting to get the whole sneaking thing.

  Boris motioned us along, and we followed, keeping low along the balcony.

  About twenty feet along, Boris stopped and pointed.

  I edged up, peeking just my eyes over.

  I saw the city, or the ruins of a civilization, laid out in front of me just below. Boris had brought us to a different spot where we had a better view, but we were also much closer. I felt like I could have jumped down to the city below and made it with few injuries. Forty feet at most?

  The street seemed like it just went on forever, disappearing into the darkness of the cavern before it ever ran into any sort of wall. Which seemed unreal — how was the city of Glaton supported on top of this? And how did this city get stuck underground?

  The architecture was fascinating to me, because it looked so similar to Glaton, with just a few glaring differences. There were multiple entrances to each building, and from what I could see, they were different sized. Opulent entries with lots of neat little details were at the fronts, and somewhat smaller than the more functional entries to the sides and rears. There were no doors remaining, at least not in view. Which made sense, considering that wood would have long rotted in the thousand-plus years the city had been hidden here.

  Howls echoed along the city streets.

  “Gods,” I heard Pomeroy say from my right. “What is making that noise?”

  “You don’t want to know,” I whispered back. “Be ready to drop out of view if you see something.”

  “What is down there?” he asked, his voice rising.

  “Bad things,” Boris replied. “Bad, hungry things.”

  Then the beasts came.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  A single figure bolted out of a side street, sprinting for all it was worth.

  Barely a heartbeat later, monstrous forms swarmed out of one street and onto the avenue we were observing. They poured forth as they screamed and shouted at the figure running away. Neither group was identifiable in any sense, and while they were mostly bipedal, some seemed perfectly happy to use three or four limbs. The chasers leapt over rocks and rubble, gaining on the one in front, who seemed to be losing what steam they had. I was really afraid we were about to witness another bloodbath.

  “I think that’s a person running,” Shae whispered to me.

  “Of course it’s someone,” I replied.

  “I mean, like a human. Like someone like us.”

  “No way it is. How—“ But then I stopped because I looked closer. Unlike the other creatures, the figure being chased had clothes on. Boots. A cloak with a hood that fell back as I watched the person run, their hair streaming out behind them. Light colored hair a far cry from any of the bald beasts I’d seen earlier. “Fuck me.”

  “We need to do something,” Shae said, her voice rising dangerously high, almost above a whisper.

  “What, exactly, would you like me to do?” I asked.

  “Save that person.”

  The person in question, as they got clearer, was breathing heavily, having some trouble placing their feet in the rubble of the ruins. It looked like they were about to fall at any moment. In that moment, I could see what would happen if I did nothing. The best case scenario would be having to witness someone get eaten alive. More likely was either Pomeroy or Shae making some sort of noise, either out of disgust or sadness, and getting the attention of all the creatures down below. I had no idea if they could climb, but I had no desire to find out.

  But what the hell was I supposed to do? Jump down and stab one with my measly dagger? It’s not like I was some brute that could just beat down multitudes of monsters whenever the opportunity presented itself.

  On the other hand, I did have magic. And some new spells. And it might do some good to throw down some spells and kill some monsters without the the guilt that tended to creep up when I faced off against humans. Or, you know, non-monsters.

  “Give me your sword,” I said, pulling my cloak off and setting it to the side.

  “What are you doing?” Shae asked, but she did start removing her sword from her sheath.

  “Exactly what you asked me to do. And while I’m doing that, how about figuring out how you’re going to get me and our new friend up from there?”

  “Wait,” Pomeroy said, “are you—“

  I shot the professor as much of a glare I could muster, but I didn’t wait for him to finish his thought. Partially because I didn’t want him to talk me out of it, but mostly because it seemed like our mystery guest was running out of time.

  Gently, I put my hand on Boris’s shoulder.

  “Buddy,” I said, “I need you to do me a favor.”

  The little kobold nodded solemnly.

  “I’m counting on you to get these two out of here if I don’t make it.”

  Chapter Thirty

  I had no good feelings about what it was I was about to do. Mostly because I also had no idea what to do. I just knew I had to do something, because that was the right thing to do. And also because Shae had basically begged me to and I’m a sucker for that.

  With a big breath, I took a few steps back from the balustrade, and then ran forward. I used the railing to push off and flew into the air. My last view of the running figure was of the figure no longer running, tripping on something and falling to the ground.

  For the briefest of moments, I really did feel like I was flying. While I was in the air I pulled my mana together and ripped off a big ol’ fireball.

  I tucked as I got to the ground, rolled to my feet, and immediately hurdled the prone figure to place myself in between it and the chasing horde.

  As the monsters came on, the fireball hit the first of the runners, exploding outward in a brilliant display, so bright I had to get my arm up just so I didn’t lose my night vision completely.

  There were screams of pain and surprise.

  Without giving them a chance to figure out what was going on, I peppered the oncoming monsters with globs of acid.

  Some of the monsters turned and ran. Others fell upon their comrades and feasted. But a few brave souls kept coming. Not at a full run anymore, more like a prowl. I shuddered.

  As they closed on me, I got a better view of them. They had large heads with features that almost seemed like crude caricatures of humans, though definitely much more aligned for life underground. Huge eyes, large mouths without lips and filled with large yellow teeth, long in front like a nightmare rabbit. Their fingers were thick, ending in wide, conical claws. Closer up, I could see wisps of hair here and their on their bodies, long and a yellow so pale it was essentially white, contrasting with their pale blue skin.

  Seven came on, mouths open wide, drooling a little. Maybe excitement, maybe curiosity, perhaps just hunger.

  “Gents,” I said, “time for you to go.”

  They seemed to disagree, coming closer and spreading out a little.

  “Last chance,” I said, pulling my mana together to unleash another spell.

  Closer and closer.

  I cast Vicious Wrench and ripped one of the creature’s thigh bones out. The femur shot across the space between us, and I moved my head out of the way so that the bone flew by and clattered across the stone tiles behind me.

  The femur-less beast fell over with a confused whine. Then the pain hit and it started screaming. The others weren’t dissuaded — apparently they didn’t care as long as they weren’t the ones
being hurt.

  Just then, arrows started whizzing right past me, hitting the beasts with deep and hollow thunks, one after another.

  Thunk.

  Thunk.

  Thunk.

  That did the trick, and the others retreated and turned their attention to preying on their fallen comrades.

  For a moment, I was being ignored.

  I turned to see the person I’d saved. And, in a sense, perhaps the person who’d also saved me.

  A young woman was looking at me, a bow in her hand, arrow still nocked and ready to go. Her eyes were a profoundly dark blue and her hair a nearly perfect yellow blonde, at least as far as I could tell in the dim light of the ruined city.

  “We need to get out of here,” I said. “Like now.”

  “Um, yeah,” she replied. “Don’t suppose you thought out that part of the rescue.”

  “I was a bit focused on the rescue part. Not so much the getting out part.”

  “Your little magic show just bought us a minute at best, and probably alerted all the other big nasties in the area to a tasty treat here, so—“

  “You have a rope?”

  “Of course I have a fucking rope, what kind of idiot do you think I am?”

  “The kind of idiot who comes into this place and decides to run around.”

  “Pot, kettle. Motherfucker.”

  I started to wonder about her provenance, but there were definitely new and horrible noises coming not just from behind us, but from deeper in the ruins.

  “Give me the rope,” I said, but she was already digging in her pack. She pulled a scratchy-looking hemp rope out and shoved it into my hands.

  “Good luck using that without a grappling hook,” she said, slinging her pack back onto her back and putting her hand on her hip.

  “Thanks,” I said, and took two steps back and stared straight up. “One of you catch this!”

  I threw the whole coil of rope up, since that was easier than trying to toss one end.

  Shae reached out, farther than I thought she’d be able to balance, because I maybe hadn’t thrown the coil that well, but she managed to get out there and grab the bundle.

  Footsteps were thundering down the roads nearby. It wasn’t clear who we were hearing, just that there were a lot of them.

  “Might tell your friends to work faster,” the new girl said.

  “They know,” I replied, giving a quick look over my shoulder.

  I should not have looked over my shoulder.

  A massive horde poured into the avenue from various side streets. It was like watching a living wave come toward us.

  “Maybe a little faster,” I shouted.

  The rope dropped in between NewGirl and me. She reached for it as I pushed it towards her.

  She gave me a bit of a look.

  “Climb already,” I said.

  “Thanks for saving me,” she said. “Hope you don’t die down here.”

  “Me too. But if I do, they’ll get you out of here to safety.”

  She leaned over and pecked me on the cheek, and then started hauling herself up the rope surprisingly fast.

  I turned to face the oncoming horde, and did a quick bit of peeking into my bag of tricks. Given the speed of the group, it’d be best if I could delay them so I had enough time to get up the rope too.

  I had plenty of spells in my arcane repertoire, just nothing that grand. I didn’t have the feeling an illusion, no matter how big or grandiose, was going to do much to stop the mob bent on destroying me.

  The mob, meanwhile, was running flat out in my direction, slavering at the chance to get me. Maybe to eat me — actually, hopefully to eat me, considering what other options there might be. I noticed that there were some subtle differences in the looks of the beasts. Minor variations in skin coloring, and in some cases, the skins that they worn. In that brief moment, where my death grew ever more eminent, time seemed to slow enough that I absorbed these details. I could watch the creatures move, I could see how they interact. Animosity between them seemed to be forgotten as they chased their shared enemy: me. What had caused them to act this way? What had—

  “CLYDE!” Shae shouted from above. “GRAB THE ROPE!”

  I shook my head, breaking free from the reverie, shoved the sword into my belt, and leapt up. My hands closed on the rope just as the rope started moving up, and I climbed while my friends pulled. I fairly flew up into the air, but even so, the first monster to reach me launched itself into the air. Its claws grazed the soles of my boots, and managed to grab the rope.

  There was a cry of anguish from above, and I suddenly dropped a few feet.

  I grabbed the sword from my belt, and hacked down at the creature as it pulled itself toward me.

  He got a face full of blade. An arterial spray shot out past me and into the growing crowd below, inciting a veritable riot. I stomped on his head, and between my foot and my sword, there was enough incentive for the beast to let go, and he fell into the roil below.

  Of course, there was only the briefest of seconds before another one of the creatures saw the rope and thought to grab it. As soon as they did, the rope went taut, and I started being hauled down. But a tight rope did give me a better angle to cut, so I pulled out a dagger, and slashed at the rope right below my grip.

  The dagger cut through in one slice, and I shot upward.

  A little more work, and my new friend actually reached over the balustrade and grabbed me by the belt to haul me up onto the walkway.

  “Thanks,” I said.

  “Running now,” Boris replied, and did exactly that.

  We all followed.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  We sprinted. Behind us came the sound of frustration.

  Pomeroy was keeping up, but breathing hard. I was really worried about the old man.

  Boris did not seem worried about anyone. He just booked it, and we were certainly in danger of losing him, because he didn’t pause at any intersections. Partly, I was impressed he knew the way that well. But I was also getting really annoyed with the little guy, because he was in danger of leaving us behind.

  I couldn’t help but glance back from time to time.

  Nothing was there, but that didn’t give me any relief. There were still noises coming from behind us, and I didn’t have any way to gauge how far away they were. Was there another way to get from where I’d been, down on the streets of the city, up to here, which seemed like some sort of other city that had different roads and streets? I couldn’t really even understand where we were. What this place was. Why was it set out like this? Why the two levels? I mean, to be fair, I hadn’t spent much, or any, time in a fully underground city. Maybe they were laid out differently than surface cities. It’d make sense, but—

  Pomeroy tripped and sprawled across the floor. I had to hurdle his body so I didn’t step on him, but I slid to a stop on my knees, and was at his side.

  “You okay?” I asked.

  He was most definitely short of breath, and his face was pale.

  “Fine,” he lied.

  I helped him to his feet, and draped his arm over my shoulder, taking most of his weight onto myself. Then I started to run, which wasn’t exactly possible. It was more like moving quickly with purpose.

  The noise behind us was dying down though, and I had the feeling the creatures hadn’t really mastered climbing. Or, on the other hand, they had mastered climbing and were being quiet because they were back on the hunt. I decided to put a lot of hope in the general stupidity of the creatures chasing us.

  Boris finally stopped, well up ahead, most likely only because he couldn’t reach the way out by himself. He stood below the opening into the kobolds’ tunnel, looking up at it like he could will some sort of means of flight to get in it.

  New Girl bypassed the kobold and leapt up, grabbing onto the edge and pulling herself up and in with one smooth motion. I was suitably impressed.

  I half thought she would just disappear into the tunnels, but inst
ead, she laid against the edge, holding her arm out.

  Shae boosted Boris up. New Girl grabbed him and hauled the kobold into the tunnel. Then Shae jumped, and New Girl grabbed her to pull her in too.

  Pomeroy was next. I had to boost him from below, and both women pulled from above, but we managed to get the good professor into the tunnel.

  I did the maneuver on my own; I just wasn’t quite as practiced or as smooth as New Girl. Not that I was jealous. Not at all. I just, I mean, I wasn’t jealous, okay?

  As soon as I was in the tunnel, Boris pushed past me to get back to the opening. He had a small pouch in one of his clawed hands, and quickly dusted the area with some pale, pearlescent powder.

  “Go,” he hissed, pushing us forward and away from him.

  New Girl needed no second urging, but I noticed she paused long enough to offer assistance to Pomeroy, who waved her off. Then he happily took my hand and leaned heavily against me. We hobbled along as best we could, his breath ragged and shallow. Shae lagged a bit behind, keeping track of Boris, doing her best to make sure we were all going to make it out alive and without too much trouble. Or too much more trouble.

  Finally, up ahead, I saw the huge heavy door. Boris slipped past me once again, moving incredibly quickly through the tunnel, and he held the door open for us. As soon as we were all through, he slammed it shut, and used his big weird key to turn the lock.

  Pomeroy promptly threw up into the sewage.

  I wiped the sweat off my face, and looked into the beaming smile of New Girl.

  “You’re a fuck load of fun,” she said. “Thanks!”

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  It was odd to feel a wave of comfort in the sewers. But, for the moment, it was a spot where we could relax. Sort of. Pomeroy spewed a bit more, as did New Girl, but I think hers was more because of the stench. But nothing was actively chasing us anymore.

  Boris paced back and forth around us, going from our little rest spot to either intersection, and then back. He paused at each intersection and peeked around, did a little active listening, and, once, stuck his hand in the sewage and left it there a moment.