Jaded (Music City Moguls Book 5)

by Cheryl Douglas

  “We slept together.” He hadn’t intended to blurt it out, but the way Josie’s ex was holding her made D.J. fear the clock may be ticking. “Now she’s runnin’ scared.” Knowing it wasn’t fair to shift the blame to her, he said, “Truth is, I was runnin’ scared too after it happened. But…”

  “You’ve had a chance to think about it?”

  “Yeah.”

  “And?”

  “I wanna be with her.” He wished he could find the words to express what he was feeling, but once again, the wordsmith was coming up short. “I don’t know what that means or where we go from here. All I know is that I have fun when I’m with her. I want to hang out with her, take her out for drinks, to dinner, movies.” He stopped when he realized he was rambling. “You know, the usual stuff.”

  Looking amused, Cassidy said, “You mean you want to have a real, grown-up relationship? You want to date, to spend the night together.” She didn’t give him a chance to respond before she said, “You want someone to call when you’re on the road and feeling lonely. You want to know there’s someone waiting on you at home, missing you as much as you’re missing her.”

  The way Cassidy described it made it seem so obvious. That was exactly what he wanted. “Yeah. Trouble is, I don’t think that’s what Josie’s looking for.”

  Cassidy glanced at her friend before she said, “Josie got hurt and then decided it was easier to shut herself off than risk that kind of pain again. Being with someone like Connor was safe. You? Not so much.”

  “Yet here you are, encouraging me to pursue your best friend. You wouldn’t be doin’ that if you didn’t feel I was a safe bet.” He’d known Cassidy long enough to know she was fiercely protective of her friends and family and the claws came out when anyone tried to hurt someone she loved.

  “A safe bet?” Cassidy laughed. “No, D.J., I can’t say I’d ever call you a safe bet. Of course, I wouldn’t have considered Drake a safe bet either when we met. Still, I took a chance on him. Have there been moments of regrets? Hell, yes. We didn’t have an easy road. But I wouldn’t trade one second I’ve had with him for a guy others might consider a safer bet.” She smiled. “Safe is boring. Unpredictable and volatile? Now that’s exciting.”

  He kissed her cheek, grateful that she was trying so hard to make him feel better. “Thanks, pretty lady.”

  “For what?”

  “For makin’ me believe I stand a chance.”

  “Then you’re not going to give up on her?”

  “Hell no! I’m just gettin’ started.”

  D.J. heard his name and realized Drake was calling him to the stage. He’d agreed to sing a few songs for the happy couple and he knew just the one he wanted to start with.

  “How are y’all doin’ tonight?” he shouted into the microphone. This was where he felt at home, best able to express himself and he hoped his gift wouldn’t fail him tonight. “I just wanted to take a moment to congratulate the happy couple. He smiled at Cassidy’s mother and her new husband.

  “Sometimes the search for a soul mate can last a lifetime.” His eyes locked with Josie’s. “Sometimes that person is right in front of us and we don’t even realize it. Love is rarely easy to find. Someone to laugh with is even harder to find. So when you finally find that person, you don’t ever want to let go. Here’s to two people with the courage to hang on.” Everyone raised their glasses. “May they be rewarded with a lifetime of blessed memories.”

  He’d seen Josie shift closer as he spoke, almost as though there was a magnetic force drawing them together. Smiling at her, he turned to cue the band. There was only one song he could think to start with. “My Girl.” Because more than anything he wanted her to be his.

  Josie stood alone, swaying to the beat of the music, her eyes locked on his.

  He’d sung this song hundreds of time to no one in particular. He’d find a pretty girl in the audience, flirt, make eyes at her while she screamed and clutched her girlfriends hand because she was getting special attention. But he’d never sang this song to a lover.

  Words he’d written so long ago from a place he couldn’t understand, poured out of him, suddenly making sense in a way they hadn’t before.

  She looks at me with those hazel eyes and I’m so lost in her,

  Josie smiled up at him, gripping her wine glass tighter as though she knew he was singing for her, to her.

  He’d changed the words, from dark eyes to hazel eyes, knowing she would be the only one to notice.

  She makes love to me and man, I’m so damn sure.

  That she’s the only girl who can tame my wild ways,

  She makes me crazy, mad as hell, but makin’ up always pays.

  When Josie moved closer to the stage, D.J. made his way to the stairs and extended his hand, reaching for her. He stood in front of her, grasping her hand, his eyes never leaving hers.

  The boys all say I’m whipped, but I don’t give a damn,

  ’Cause my girl gives me what no one else can.

  She makes me laugh, she’s made me cry, she even terrifies me,

  But when she looks at me that way, I don’t wanna be free.

  D.J. focused on getting the rest of the words out while his heart pounded in his chest. It was like he’d written the words for her, a lifetime ago, before he’d even met her. It scared him and thrilled him at the same time and he hoped she felt the same way, knowing that foreshadowing spoke to a pre-determined destiny he’d never believed in before.

  He barely heard the raucous crowd screaming and calling his name as he whispered the last few words. His head was pounding in tandem with his heart as he leaned in to brush his lips across hers. He knew he’s caught her off guard, but within seconds, she was responding like they were the only two people in the room.

  Chapter Eight

  “So, you and D.J. Stevens?” Connor said, stretching his legs out on the bright pink ottoman. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “It’s a fairly recent thing,” Josie said, still feeling a twinge of guilt that she’d gotten so carried away on stage.

  When D.J. sang that song to her, her well-reasoned argument fled and she responded to his kiss like a woman whose husband was being deployed and she feared she may never see him again. She’s made a spectacle of herself in front of hundreds of people, including her ex-boyfriend.

  “Is it serious?” he asked, looking despondent.

  She laughed, trying to lighten the mood. “With D.J. Stevens? Are you kidding? He could have any woman he wants.”

  “Yeah, and he wants you.” He clenched his jaw, almost as though he was experiencing physical pain. “That’s pretty obvious.”

  “We’re just friends.” It was getting more difficult to convince herself of that with every passing day, but she wasn’t ready to give up the fight.

  “Are you sure about that?” he asked, reaching for her hand. “It looked to me like it was a lot more than that, or at least he’d like it to be.”

  “He knows how I feel.”

  “How do you feel, Josie?” He looked into her eyes. “Do you still feel like you have forever to find your soul mate? ’Cause I’m here to tell you forever may not be as long as you think.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” Connor had been acting strange all evening, but whenever she asked, he said he was fine, just tired.

  “There’s something I need to ask you, but I’m not sure how you’ll react, given your thing with D.J.”

  “D.J. and I don’t have a thing,” she said. “We’re just friends.” She still hoped if she said it often enough, both aloud and in her head, she may eventually start to believe it. “You know you can ask me anything, Connor.”

  “This is a favor,” he said, reluctantly. “A big one.”

  She was getting an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. There was nothing she wouldn’t do for him. Connor was a friend. A good friend. Someone who’d helped her piece her life back together after the divorce and prove to her that good guys still existed, bu
t she sensed his favor could upend her life.

  “I’m sick, Josie.”

  She tried to process his words as her eyes scanned his face, looking for some sign that he was kidding, but he remained stoic. “What do you mean you’re sick?”

  He swallowed several times before he whispered, “I have a brain tumor.”

  “No.” She covered her mouth with her hand as tears sprang to her eyes. “No, that’s not possible.”

  “I’m afraid it is, honey.” He shifted to face her. “I found out last week. The signs had been there for a while, but I tried to ignore them. The headaches, dizziness, weight loss, loss of appetite…” His voice trailed off. “I didn’t want to believe it, but I couldn’t pretend anymore.”

  She was afraid to speak, certain her voice would betray her anguish as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Yeah, so am I.” He held her tighter as he buried his face in her neck. “I thought I had all the time in the world, but now they’re telling me I only have a few months.”

  “No, God, no!” She clutched his shirt as her tears fell on his shoulder. “They’re wrong, Connor. They have to be wrong. Doctors don’t know everything. You can’t give up hope.”

  “I’m not. In fact, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” He drew back, wiping her tears with the back of his hand as he gave her a sad smile. “There’s a doctor at Vanderbilt here in Nashville who thinks he can help me. It’s an experimental treatment, but right now, it’s the best shot I’ve got.”

  “Then there’s hope?” she asked, gripping his shoulders. “They’re telling you there is hope?”

  “You know doctors,” he said, lifting a shoulder. “They’re pretty non-committal. But they’ve had success with patients like me in the past. They go in to remission. Some still die, but it buys them more time.”

  She wrapped her arms around his waist, feeling the protrusion of bones that used to be covered by a healthy layer of skin. He’d always been fit, but now he was thin. She didn’t know why she hadn’t noticed that before. Perhaps because she was too wrapped up in her own problems to be the friend he deserved.

  “There are medical miracles every day,” she said, curling into his arms as she laid her head on his chest. “Miraculous recoveries that doctors can’t explain.” She had to believe Connor would be one of those success stories.

  “I need your positive attitude now,” he said, kissing the top of her head. “That’s part of the reason I’m hoping you’ll let me stay here with you during my treatment.”

  She pulled back to look at him. “That’s the favor you wanted to ask?”

  “Yeah, I know it’s a lot to ask, but—”

  “No, it’s not. Of course you can stay here, for as long as you need to.”

  “Thank you, Josie.” His arms curled around her, holding her close again. “You don’t know how much that means to me.”

  “Anything I can do to help, you know I will.”

  “I could have stayed in a hotel, but the doctors aren’t sure how I’ll respond to the treatment and it may not be safe for me to stay alone for the first little while. It’s an out-patient thing, so I’ll be going to the center for treatment a few times a week. Apparently it’ll zap my energy. The effects are similar to chemo, but apparently it doesn’t ravage your body quite the same way.”

  She couldn’t even imagine how terrified he must be. He was the same age as her. No way should he be staring death in the face so soon. It wasn’t fair.

  “If you need transportation to and from your treatments—”

  “No, I’m imposing enough. You have to work. I’ll arrange for a car and driver while I’m here.”

  “Are you sure?” she asked, looking up at him.

  “Positive.” He touched his finger against the tip of her nose. “Thanks for being such a good friend.” When she smiled in response, he said, “I imagined living with you a hundred times, but not like this. I don’t want to be a burden. If I become one, I’ll—”

  “Don’t even think that,” she said, covering his mouth with her hand. “You could never be a burden. You’re my friend, Connor. An important part of my life and I’ll do anything I can to help you through this.”

  He drew a deep breath as he closed his eyes. “I feel better already. I can’t tell you how much I was dreading this, talking to you about my illness, asking for help.”

  She could only imagine how he must feel, but Connor was a strong and determined man. She had to believe he would get through this. “Why don’t you stay here tonight?” she said, sensing he was more tired and uncomfortable than he was letting on. “I can make up the spare room for you.”

  “You’re a sweetheart,” he said, kissing her cheek. “Are you sure you don’t mind?”

  “Of course not. My home is your home for as long as you need it.”

  ***

  D.J. waited for Josie in her office the next afternoon. According to the receptionist, she’d gone to the bank, but should be back soon. Normally, he hated waiting, but for Josie he’d happily make an exception.

  He’d wanted to call her last night, but he couldn’t imagine her date taking her home early. He knew if he’d been in Connor’s shoes, he would have wanted to spend as much time with her as possible.

  “Hey,” Josie said, walking in and dropping her purse on her desk. “Gina said you were in here waiting for me. What’s up?”

  She looked tired, as though she hadn’t slept well. He hoped it wasn’t because she and her ex stayed up ’til all hours reconnecting. “I was at Drake’s studio and wanted to know whether you had time for a quick bite?”

  “I wish.” She sank into her swivel chair with a sigh. “It’s been another one of those days.” She pointed to a small cooler bag on a shelf behind her. “I brought my lunch. Unfortunately, left-over chicken and veggie sticks will have to do today.”

  “Hey, are you okay?” he asked, getting the sense she was on edge. “You seem a little off.”

  She appeared hesitant, but eventually said, “I’m fine, D.J.” Shaking her head, she bit her bottom lip as she fought back tears. “No, that’s not true. I’m not fine.”

  D.J. walked around the desk and reached for her hand before guiding her to the small loveseat in the corner of her office. “Talk to me, sweetheart. Tell me what’s wrong.”

  “It’s Connor,” she said, burying her face in her hands.

  D.J. felt his stomach clench. He’d watched them closely last night and while Connor certainly seemed infatuated with her, he couldn’t say he got the same impression from Josie. Unless he’d misinterpreted. “What about him?” he asked, trying to keep the wariness from his voice.

  “He’s sick.” She reached for a tissue on the glass coffee table. “Really sick.”

  “What do you mean? He seemed fine last night.”

  “I thought so too. Apparently, he’s gotten good at hiding it.” She swiped the tissue across her cheeks, heedless of her make-up. “He has a…” She sucked in a sharp breath. “God, it hurts to even say the words. He has a brain tumor. They’ve only given him a few months to live.”

  “Oh man,” D.J. said, wrapping his arms around her shoulder. “I’m sorry, baby. That’s terrible.” The guy may not be his favorite person, but he wouldn’t wish that on anyone. “He just told you last night?”

  “Yeah, when he took me home.”

  D.J. eased her back against his chest, stroking her hair with his free hand. “There’s nothing the doctors can do? I mean, you keep hearing about how far they’ve come with research. They can’t give him any hope?”

  “Maybe,” Josie said, gripping the arm he had wrapped around her. “They’re giving him an experimental treatment. There are no guarantees, but it’s something. Enough to give us hope.” She drew a shuddering breath. “God, he has to be okay. I can’t lose him.”

  D.J. tried to relax as every muscle in his body tensed in response to her words. He didn’t want to believe he was the kind of guy who would be t
hat petty in the face of someone else’s tragedy, but it worried him to hear the pain in her voice.

  “The doctor at Vanderbilt said—”

  “Vanderbilt?” His breath got trapped in his throat. “He’s seeking treatment here? In Nashville? I thought he was from Chicago? There must be some amazing facilities there. Why would he want to go so far from home for treatment?” There was only one reason he could think of and he hated himself for allowing the suspicion to take hold. A man’s life was at stake and all he could think about was what this would mean for him and Josie.

  “He is from Chicago,” she said, frowning. “But I guess he researched his options when he got the diagnosis and learned about this doctor at Vanderbilt-Ingram offering this experimental treatment. I guess he’s a candidate because they’re starting treatment next week. It’s not like he has the luxury of time,” she said, her voice breaking. “They have to start as soon as possible.”

  “So he’ll be staying here, in Nashville?” He tried to keep his voice light, but he knew the distrust was obvious. He knew Connor had one hell of a fight on his hands and the last thing on his mind was reconciling with Josie… or was it? If he only had a few months to live, why wouldn’t he want to spend it with the woman he loved?

  “Yeah, with me.”

  “With you?” He was trying to harness his emotions, but it wasn’t easy. The woman he was falling for had just announced her ex was moving in with her. How was he supposed to respond to that without sounding like a self-centered jerk?

  “The doctors don’t want him to be alone. There’s no telling how he’ll respond to the treatment.”

  “I don’t mean to sound callous, but maybe it would be better if he stayed in the hospital during his treatment. That way, if there was a problem, he would have trained professionals there to help him.”

  “Think about it,” she said, turning to face him. “If you were told you only had a few months to live, would you want to spend that time in a hospital?”

  “I guess not,” he said grudgingly.