Jaded (Music City Moguls Book 5)

by Cheryl Douglas

  “Maybe isn’t an option,” he said, sliding a shrimp off the metal skewer and offering her a bite. “You will meet them, but I won’t push. We can wait on that.”

  She liked that he seemed so sure their relationship was headed in that direction. It further fuelled the optimism Cassidy had sparked earlier. “I’m glad you understand.”

  “I’m a very understanding guy,” he said, tossing the tail of the shrimp onto the plate they’d brought the raw fish out on. “If I wasn’t I wouldn’t be okay with my girlfriend livin’ with her ex-boyfriend.”

  “Your girlfriend, huh?” Josie asked, trying to hide her amusement. “I didn’t realize we were ready to define this thing.”

  “I am,” he said, his expression serious. “How ’bout you?”

  Josie didn’t know how to feel. She didn’t want to deter him, but she’d never been big on labels. “How did you go from breaking my second date rule to being my boyfriend in like, a minute?”

  “I’m just that persuasive,” he said, rewarding her with a boyish grin. “The way I see it, we’re dating. So we’re either dating exclusively or we’re not. If we are, then yeah, you’re my girlfriend. If we’re not…” He cleared his throat before offering “Then I guess we’re just seeing each other, which means we’re both free to see other people.”

  Josie considered her options. She definitely didn’t want him seeing other women and she had no interest in seeing other men, but labeling this thing still scared her.

  “I don’t mean to pressure you,” he said, sensing her hesitation. “I know it must seem like I’m movin’ fast, which is so unlike me, but I’m crazy about you, Jos.”

  She wrapped her arm around his waist, leaning her head on his shoulder. “I’m pretty crazy about you too.”

  “So if I introduce you to people as my girlfriend, you won’t freak out?”

  She laughed at the genuine concern she heard in his voice. How someone so perfect could still be insecure amazed her, though she liked it. It made him seem more human. “No, I won’t freak out.”

  “Good.” He breathed a dramatic sigh of relief. “Now that we’ve got that out of the way, tell me how this thing with Connor is gonna work?”

  “I don’t know.” She imagined they would settle into a comfortable routine, depending on how he reacted to the treatment. “Why?”

  “I know you feel the need to be there for him,” he said, cautiously. “And I respect that. I really do, but here’s the thing…” He plated the food before turning to face her. “I go back out on the road soon and I want to spend as much time with you as I can before then.”

  That made sense to her. She wanted to spend time with him too, if for no other reason than to figure out whether she really could have a future with a man like D.J. “I feel the same way.”

  “Good, then you won’t feel obligated to spend every night at home takin’ care of Connor once he moves in?”

  “My next door neighbour is a retired nurse,” she explained. “I’ve asked her to check in on Connor from time to time when he’s home alone. I don’t want to smother him, but I want him to know there’s someone nearby if he needs anything.”

  “Sounds like a reasonable solution,” D.J. said, taking the platter of food over to the patio table. “But I may have an even better solution if you’re open to hearin’ it.”

  “What’s that?”

  “You could stay with me and let Connor have your place all to himself.”

  She laughed out loud, but the amusement quickly died when she realized he was serious. “But the whole point of Connor staying with me was so he would have someone to take care of him. He’s likely to be very weak from the treatment and—”

  “Like I said, I’d be more than happy to arrange for a live-in caregiver for him.”

  Josie frowned. “Connor’s very well off. He may not be in your tax bracket, but if he wanted a live-in caregiver, I’m sure he could afford one.”

  “So why do you suppose he doesn’t want someone else takin’ care of him, a stranger?” He divvied up the food before adding “I can understand why he wouldn’t want to stay in a hotel or the hospital when he’s goin’ through something like that, but you’re offerin’ up your home to the man. He’d be very comfortable and he’d have the added benefit of a trained professional to help him. The way I see it, it’s a win-win.”

  “I’m not moving in with you. That’s ridiculous,” she said, forking off a piece of fish and popping it into her mouth. Hmmm, it was better than anything she’d had in a five-star restaurant. Maybe there would be some advantages to being D.J.’s houseguest. Of course, she’d probably gain ten pounds. “We’re just getting to know each other.”

  “But like I said, I’m goin’ out on the road in a bit. You’d have the place all to yourself. And if you don’t like that idea, I have a little guest house on the property. It’s one of those little carriage houses, totally renovated, really cute. I think you’d like it a lot.”

  “You’re so sweet to offer your home up like that, but I couldn’t possibly accept. Like I said, I want to be there for Connor and you and I are no where near taking that kind of step.”

  He chewed his food thoughtfully as though he was considering his options.

  Not that Josie was surprised. D.J. didn’t strike her as the kind of man who gave up without a fight. Wracking her brain to think of a safer topic, she asked, “How are the rehearsals going?”

  He gave her a wry smile, as if to say, “Nice try, but it’s not going to work.”

  “You can still be there for him, you know. You can pass by and check on him on your lunch break or even on the way home.”

  “This is my home,” she reminded him, thinking how quickly he was starting to think of his home as her home. It was kind of sweet and unnerving.

  “Okay, here’s the deal,” he said, setting his utensils down. “I don’t wanna sound like an insensitive jerk here, but this thing is makin’ me crazy. I can’t shake the feelin’ he’s usin’ this as an excuse to get close to you.” He raised a hand before she could argue. “I know how bad that sounds, but I’m tryin’ to put myself in his place. If the doc told me I only had a few months to live, you can be damn sure I’d wanna spend it with the woman I love.”

  “Connor doesn’t think of me that way anymore.” She knew it was a weak argument, but it was the only one she had. “It’s been over for a long time.”

  “I saw the way he looks at you, babe. He’s still in love with you. And he will do everything in his power to get closer to you, I can guarantee that.”

  “How can you be so sure?” she asked, narrowing her eyes. D.J. didn’t even know Connor. She didn’t know why he seemed to think he had so much insight into what he was thinking and feeling.

  “Because I know that’s what I’d do if I were him. Is it a shitty thing to do, playing the sympathy card?” He shrugged. “Sure, but he’s got nothin’ to lose and everything to gain by tryin’.”

  D.J. made a reasonable point, but she’d never known Connor to be deceptive and couldn’t believe he would use his illness just to get closer to her. “You’re wrong. You’ll see. He considers me a good friend, which is why he asked me to help him. There is no ulterior motive on his part, trust me.”

  “I do trust you,” D.J. said, looking annoyed as he reached for his beer. “It’s him I don’t trust.”

  She was getting tired of this circular discussion and didn’t want to waste their night arguing. “Can we just agree to disagree on this, D.J.? Time will tell which one of us is right.”

  “That’s what I’m afraid of,” he muttered. “Believe me, I don’t wanna be right about this, but I know I will be.”

  ***

  D.J. knew there was nothing he could do to change Josie’s mind about staying at her house with Connor, so he decided to make the most of their time together by focusing on their relationship. He knew Connor would try to come between them, but it wouldn’t work. He wouldn’t let it.

  She was torturing him
with some chick flick, but he was surprised to find himself getting caught up in the story. It was about a guy who fell in love with some woman in the span of a few hours during a layover at an airport. He made it his mission to find her again in spite of the odds against it.

  “Admit it,” Josie said, poking him in the ribs. “You’re enjoying this.”

  D.J. laughed. “Enjoyin’ it? Let’s not get crazy, girl. I’m tolerating it for your sake. But next time, I get to pick the movie. Count on action with lots of blood. ”

  She wrinkled her nose, looking utterly adorable. “I don’t see what you guys get out of watching that stuff.”

  “Gets the adrenaline goin’,” he said, wrapping his arms around her as he drew her against his chest. Before, they’d been sitting side by side with their hands linked, but he decided he liked this position better, even if her hair was tickling his nose.

  “Must be the testosterone,” she mumbled, hitting rewind so she could see the scene they’d talked through. Before pressing play, she paused it and asked, “Do you believe in love at first sight?”

  He thought about the way he’d felt the first time he saw her standing at his table, looking amused by all the attention he was receiving from his fans. She didn’t look the least bit impressed, only mildly curious what all the fuss was about. That’s when he knew he had to get to know this woman better.

  “Yeah, I guess I do.”

  “What were you thinking when you met me?”

  “That I had to send Cassidy a huge bouquet of flowers the next day, which I did, by the way.”

  She slapped his arm, giggling. “You’re such a liar. You did not.”

  “I swear to God,” he said, raising his right hand. “I did.”

  “That’s so sweet.” She smiled, then frowned. “Hey, you sent her flowers, but not me? What gives?”

  “I didn’t think you’d be impressed by a gesture like that. I knew I’d have to pull out all the stops to win you over.” He found himself spending way too much time thinking about exactly how he intended to do just that. Even though he knew they’d made great strides, they were a long way from where he wanted to be.

  “You’re wrong,” she said, hitting play. “I’m a simple girl. Things don’t impress me much.”

  He chuckled. “That reminds me of that old Shania Twain song. Okay, tell me, what does impress you?”

  She gestured to the screen. “Excuse me, I’m trying to watch the movie.”

  “There’s one thing you should know about me,” he said, curling a strand of her silky hair around his finger. “I find it hard to sit still for long, especially when I have to be quiet.”

  “It wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact the movie’s boring you, would it?”

  “It’s just that you’re so damn distractin’,” he said, easing the zipper down on her fitted warm-up jacket. She’d spilled a few drops of wine on her tank top at dinner and wanted to soak it before the stain set, so she changed into a sleeveless hoodie instead.

  “I like this,” he said, revealing her black bra. “It makes access a hell of a lot easier.”

  She giggled as she slapped his hand away. “Maybe if you behave yourself I’ll reward you after the movie.”

  “Baby, what I want to do with you is a hell of a lot more excitin’ than anything you’ll see on that screen tonight,” he said, releasing the front clasp of her bra. Smoothing a hand over her breast, he whispered, “Want me to prove it to you?”

  “Mmmm…” She tipped her head back on his shoulder and closed her eyes. “That feels nice,” she said as he rolled her nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

  Kissing her neck until she melted into his arms with a breathy sigh, D.J. decided he could imagine himself doing this every night. Curling up on the couch with her and watching TV until he couldn’t resist the temptation to take her to bed. “I love the way you smell,” he said as his mouth drifted up and down her neck. “What is that perfume?”

  “Versace,” she said, as though she could barely remember her own name, much less the scent she was wearing. “Bright Crystal.”

  He eased her back on the couch, pinning her with his body as his mouth moved over hers. When they finally broke apart, he took his time peeling her clothes off, his eyes locked on hers.

  Unlike the last time they made love, he wasn’t worried about the regret that may come later. This time, he knew they were both going into it with their eyes wide open and that gave him the freedom to concentrate on the act of pleasuring her instead of getting caught up analyzing the implications.

  “I love the way you make me feel.” She inched his shirt up his back, caressing his skin as she whispered in his ear, “No one has ever made me feel the way you do, D.J.”

  He rewarded her with a passionate kiss, knowing he would never be able to convey to her how much it meant to him that she was placing him in a class by himself. He’d never wanted to be a woman’s everything before. But with Josie, he did. He wanted to be her lover, her friend, her confidante, her partner, her sounding board. Her everything.

  Mapping her body with his mouth, he left a trail of kisses, marking all of the tender spots that made her sigh with satisfaction. He took his time worshipping her with his lips, determined to take his time and learn exactly what she needed from him.

  This, too, was new for him. He’d never been a selfish lover. He’d always wanted to be sure his partners were as satisfied as he was, but it was different with Josie. He cared more about her fulfilment than his own. And that was a first for him.

  Peeling her clothes off, he moved slowly, relishing every soft moan that escaped her lips. That became his quest. Making her moan, listening for her triggers, and committing every hot spot to memory for future reference. He knew being the best and most attentive lover she’d ever had wouldn’t guarantee their future, but it definitely couldn’t hurt his cause.

  He kissed her intimately, basking in the sound of her soft cries as her fingers passed through his hair.

  “Oh God, D.J. That feels incredible.”

  He knew he would never tire of listening to that. Hearing the raspy quality her voice adopted when she was on the edge, made him desperate to take her higher, push her further, than she’d ever been pushed before.

  Banishing all other thoughts from her head, sequestering her in a world that began and ended with his touch, was his mission. And judging by the way she gave herself to him, yielding to her release and crying out his name, he’d say he’d accomplished his task.

  Her eyes softened as he crept up her body, placing tender kisses all over every warm dip and plane. “It’s kind of eerie, how you always seem to know what I need,” she said, threading her hands through his hair when his face was finally level with hers again. “Sex has never been like this for me.”

  “What do you mean?” Her eyes plunged, fixating on the hollow of his throat. “I haven’t had many lovers and those I have had… Let’s just say I’ve never really felt we connected. Sex was usually nice, but not something that made me lose my breath and get lost in the zone.” She laughed self-consciously. “You probably think I over analyze. Sex is just sex, right?”

  “Wrong.” He kissed her neck, burying his face in the soft curve. “I know exactly what you’re talkin’ about, sweetheart. I haven’t felt this connection before either. It’s pretty surreal.” He finally understood why his buddies would forgo a party when their girlfriends or wives called to tell them there would be a reward waiting for them if they came home. He couldn’t imagine anything better than being with Josie like this.

  “You’re still dressed,” she said, giggling.

  “Getting you undressed seemed more important for what I had in mind.”

  “Mmmm,” she said, pulling his shirt over his head. “We can’t execute the next phase of my plan until you’re naked, so what’re you waiting for, cowboy?”

  His lips twitched as he complied, but it didn’t take long for the amusement to die as her eyes travelled his body, the lust
and longing becoming more evident as she reached for him, pulling him down on top of her.

  “I’ve been waiting for this,” she admitted. “After the first time, I couldn’t get it out of my head.”

  “You’re not the only one.” He reached down, grabbing a condom from his pocket.

  “Do we need that?” she asked, glancing at the packet in his hand.

  “You tell me.”

  “I don’t think so.”

  He fell just a little harder, knowing she was putting her faith in him and what that meant, given her trust issues. “Obsession is a scary word, but this feels a bit like that. I can’t get you out of my head, even when I’m workin’, you’re there.” He brushed her hair off her face, framing her head with his hands. “You’re kind of becomin’ my muse, Jos.”

  She smiled. “I think I like the sound of that.”

  “You better.” He kissed her slowly, taking his time entering her. He wanted this to last. He didn’t know why it felt so important to take his time. Maybe he knew there would be too many nights when he’d be out on the road, lying in some hotel room, alone and missing her, and he wanted to capture this feeling in his memory, to draw on then.

  There was no hesitation this time, no fear or trepidation. He could see in her eyes that she wanted this as much as he did, that there would be no awkwardness or regret when they finally came down from this high. That’s when it hit him. A feeling of contentment and security he hoped would never end.

  He wanted to know she would always be there for him, to take his mind off his problems, to celebrate his victories, and to support his rise and inevitable fall. Careers eventually ended, but he wanted to build something with Josie that would last forever.

  “I love you, baby,” he whispered, gliding in and out of her slowly. “I love this, the way you make me feel.”

  “So do I.” She kissed his neck, his shoulder, wrapping her arms around him as though she never wanted to let go.

  D.J. knew she was more reserved than he was. She looked before she leapt, but just because she hadn’t said the words didn’t mean she wasn’t feeling everything he was. He could see it in her eyes, feel it in her touch. She was in love with him too. He felt it. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t looking forward to hearing it.