Dragon's Oath (Northbane Shifters Book 5)

by Isabella Hunt

  Only that could account for the third thing.

  It started with our arguing happily about how to handle different Winfyre issues. It had started as a suggestion on my part at midnight and led to our debating for three solid hours. It was one of the longest times we’d ever spent together. Xander had been the one to call it a night, albeit reluctantly. That night, too, I’d fallen asleep with my brain buzzing with retorts and ideas.

  And it turned out I wasn’t the only one.

  The next morning, Xander had come up with an ingenious solution even I couldn’t disagree with, and he’d strutted around for the rest of the day. The smug ass. We’d had another rousing debate, but this one was more curious and passionate, as though both of us wanted to encourage the other to figure something out and keep the conversation going.

  During these debates, Xander came alive with fire, laughter, and a quiet, unexpected charm. His ice and stern leadership faded into the background. He eagerly offered up ideas or quarreled over the details with me. It was rigorous and challenging trying to keep up with him, something I hadn’t expected and sort of loved. I’d always been an adroit debater and restless thinker. Talking to Xander was like finding a partner on what I’d thought was an empty dance floor.

  Only this partner was Xander, drawing me in again. Another tantalizing piece to fit into the puzzle of his enigma. Debating with him soon became one of the best parts of my day.

  Without fail, if we wound up working together, we’d go from carefully treading water to diving deeply into some arcane discussion or friendly bickering match. Xander was also the most well-read man I’d ever met, which meant sometimes we'd wind up talking about some half-forgotten mythology or Northern Wilds politics or irrigation systems for greenhouses.

  In fact, as the days passed, I began to put off making plans to leave. Sometimes I would go almost a day or two where I forgot to even mull over it. Winfyre, as gray and dour as it was in late winter, was tightening its hold on me.

  The selfish part of my heart wanted to see it in all its moods and seasons. Wanted to go on like this, getting to know Xander better, and staying here, with him.

  It was impossible. I knew that—and still did this to myself.

  Neither of us had discussed my future here or what to do when he decided to end the claim. I had to keep reminding myself that this was a temporary solution. Xander was dealing with more pressing issues at the moment. Eventually, he’d get around to me, and this would end.

  The most obvious and easiest solution would be for Xander to reveal what he was.

  Privately, I didn’t think it made sense that he hid it, no matter what cryptic allusions he’d made before. I mean, I knew mythic shifters were supposed to be a post-Rift conspiracy theory, but maybe if he came forward, others would, too. And it would make any Skror asshole think twice about messing with Winfyre.

  Yet I couldn’t bring myself to challenge Xander on keeping his secret again. For one thing, I didn't want to be insensitive, which was a first, and for another, I didn't want to leave the bungalow any sooner than I had to. But the days passed, turning into one week, then another, and soon it was only a week until my five-week deadline. One I decided to push out another three weeks.

  I’d be leaving forever soon enough. I could take a bit more time to live in this strange, protective bubble, just within arm’s reach of Xander. In fact, I thought it might be good for him. Xander didn’t have that same tired, distant edge he’d had a few weeks ago. And it was unbelievably gratifying to help out Winfyre like this.

  Making amends for my past and future mistakes.

  The day after I’d thought I’d be on my way to the Tiselk, Xander brought me to HQ to help him work. At first, walking in, there had been a few curious glances swept our way. But Xander had introduced me and shown me around.

  A squat building, it had the air of a beehive. People were constantly coming and going, asking questions and getting sent out. It was also near the busiest part of Cobalt, so there was a sense of movement that got into your veins. When I told Xander I didn't know how he got anything done, he laughed and brought me upstairs to the pocket of peace that was his office.

  When he was up there and the door was shut, people knew not to bother him. Unlike his office at home, this one was huge, immaculate, bright, and a bit intimidating. I could see officials from other Northern Territory packs being on their best behavior in here.

  Hours zipped by. Xander and I were the last people in the building. Fallon Deacon, Rett's sister and Kal’s cousin, had come by twice to tell us to leave. But it was finally I who got Xander to admit he was getting too tired to read over reports and go home.

  That put a bit of sway in my walk as we ambled home together. The stars were out, a thin moon sinking in the east over the sea, and wispy clouds tumbling by. A sweet scent lingered under the cold and salt, though. Something that hearkened to the changing seasons, promising flowers and warmth. I let myself sink fully into the moment. This moment.

  Such a dangerous, delicious feeling, spring and a sexy dragon shifter.

  Which is why I wasn’t watching what I said.

  “What are you thinking about?” Xander asked, the deep cadence of his voice familiar and wonderful to me. As rich as the velvet sky overhead. “And what are you smiling about? Never going to let me forget about compensating those Tiselk Rangers, are you?”

  “You’re just mad you didn’t think of it first,” I retorted. I’d actually forgotten about my stroke of brilliance to rectify a hairy situation with border patrols and the Tiselk. “And no, actually. I wasn’t thinking about anything except this lovely evening. In fact, I was enjoying your company, Xander. Imagine that. Until you opened your mouth, of course.” A sigh escaped me, and my lips curled up into a smile. “Who’d have thought I’d end up here with you, of all people?”

  It was supposed to come out mocking and light.

  Instead, it came out soft. Too soft.

  Too late, I sensed Xander tensing next to me. When I glanced over, my stomach contracted. He was looking off to the side, a hand gripping his shirt, and every line of his body a harsh angle.

  “Oh, I-I didn’t mean anything by that,” I said, trying to cover up my idiocy. “I’m sorry.” My stomach contracted more tightly as Xander seemed to draw away. I was making it worse. “I…”

  “It’s fine,” Xander said softly. “Thank you.”

  My ears buzzed at that, and my jaw worked as I stared straight ahead. It took a few moments to realize that an absolute cascade of mortification was going through me. Sneaking another glance, I tried to read Xander’s face. His lips were pressed in a firm line, and his eyes were cast down. There was a tension in his neck and a crease between his brows.

  “Any time,” I said in a fake, awful voice. “You are so welcome.”

  “Of course,” Xander said. His voice was flat and polite. The mortification was burning a hole through my gut now. “As Iris’s friend, I appreciate what you bring to the table.”

  Iris’s friend.

  Somehow, I kept walking.

  Not his friend.

  Xander must have thought I was flirting or something. But I wasn’t. Or was I? In the midst of throttling off logic and saying stupid things, I had no idea if I’d also been making overtures or not.

  Had I taken a chance without realizing it, or had he misread me?

  I didn’t know what part to be more mortified about.

  Not his friend.

  Damn, that one hurt. I almost couldn’t believe how much that hurt. Even as I tried to reason with myself, a searing pain ripped down the center of my chest. After all the time we’d spent together, and all the time I’d spent getting to know his Winfyre family, I was still a problem to him.

  Of course I wasn’t his friend. I’d been living with him for a month and a half and still knew next to nothing about him. Nor was I sure he knew all that much about me. We were glorified roommate co-workers and debaters.

  And we were still strangers
.

  No number of debates and dinner parties could change that.

  I’d been too presumptuous, too stupid to see that Xander was humoring me. Perhaps using me to make sure he could trust me and figure out his next plans. I’d honestly believed I’d been on the back burner, when the whole time he was probably sizing me up. And I’d forgotten to plan a way out of Winfyre. Instead, I’d entrenched myself.

  Sick to my stomach, I determined to keep my distance from Xander from there on out.

  Turned out I didn’t need to worry—he did it for me.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Xander

  I was hiding from Tiani up on the roof.

  It wasn’t completely intentional. As a dragon shifter who could fly only under the cover of night and rarely at that, the mountains provided relief from the clamor of my flight instincts. I also missed the soaring peaks and the wild wind. The heights helped me make sense of things.

  Usually, the urge wasn't too bad, though. A scratch in the back of my head that flared up once in a while. However, over the past week or so, I’d had it almost day and night. A fever pitch of a distraction from being at sea level for too long.

  So I assumed. A better word might have been pretended.

  Since I’d also been dreaming, nonstop, of Tiani and her dangerous secrets.

  Dreams followed by abrupt wake-up calls where I remembered how much of a callous ass I’d been to her. I’d fumbled her easy compliment on our one and only walk home from Cobalt. Turned her words into something they weren’t. I didn’t know if I’d wanted to read something into them, or if I’d acted out of knee-jerk panic that she was onto me.

  Or if I was that shitty at flirting.

  Kneading the base of my neck, I blew out a sigh as I once again replayed that moment for the thousandth time. Guilt dug deeply, dragging hooks into my gut.

  I’d been avoiding Tiani as much as I could since then. Six long days of putting off discussing that awkward and horrible moment when I’d hurt her. Yet while I was skulking and sulking, Tiani was fine. Bemused, kind, and a little distant.

  I hated it.

  I also used it to tell myself I didn’t have to apologize. She’d gotten over it.

  Then I’d remember the look in her eyes when I’d used my brand of ruthless politeness to put her off. Even all these days later, those words made my stomach knot. I’d stood right on the line of cruelty, pretending I only gave a shit about her because of Iris. And reminding Tiani of her precarious situation in Winfyre, too.

  But it was precarious. We couldn’t ignore that.

  For a woman who could be reckless and wild, Tiani had her fair share of secrets. She kept people at a distance even as she charmed them. And, so beguiled, most of those same people never knew. It had taken me a few weeks to figure that out about her.

  This last week, though, she’d turned that charm on full-force. Yet I could see the pain and distrust lurking in her eyes. Even worse, too, I knew it wasn’t the first time someone had let her down like that. Seeing her try to pretend she didn’t care, when I’d added weight to an old wound on her heart, killed me.

  Her admission had caught us both off guard, though. Tiani didn’t know I’d been looking at her, watching her walk along and drinking in her face. I’d watched the play of happiness across her face, and my breath had caught. A dangerous longing had unfurled in my chest as I realized I wanted to walk home with her like this every night.

  So, needing a distraction, I’d asked her what she was thinking about.

  I was enjoying your company, Xander. Imagine that.

  When I’d heard those words leave her lips, soft and lilting in the cool air, I’d experienced a wild, soaring sensation that was on par with flying. Skimming the clouds, leaving the earth for wilder climes. For one moment, I’d been exultant and triumphant, filled with happiness.

  Who’d have thought I’d end up here with you, of all people?

  More than anything, I’d wanted to answer. Tell her I enjoyed her company as well. That I appreciated her keen mind and hard work, that I understood why she and Iris were best friends. Tell her how much it meant to me that she considered me a friend.

  But reality had slammed me back down to earth before I got an inch off the ground.

  Whatever the problem might be—it wasn’t Tiani’s and my being friends.

  Or more than friends.

  If—if I let myself, I would admit that there’d been an initial attraction to her, of course. With time, I hadn’t realized it was still there until it flamed through my body at the offer of her friendship. Tiani was a beautiful and intelligent woman.

  No, those were paltry words for her.

  She was as lovely as the edge of a flame or the whisper of starlight. She made it hard to think, and when I did think, my thoughts ran in old snatches of poetry or tales I'd read. She was full of life and fearlessness, making me want to grab her hand and follow her into adventure.

  Her answer to my stupid, inane question hadn’t been the distraction I was expecting, that was for sure. At first, I couldn’t even answer. All the wind had been knocked out of me.

  So, I’d said the first stupid thing that came to my mind.

  So, no, I couldn’t pretend to be Tiani’s friend, not after that.

  Nor could I deny any longer that I wanted more. I wanted to hold her and let her break against me. I wanted her secrets and her smiles. Hell, I was afraid to consider what else I wanted.

  I woke up in the middle of the night, forcing myself awake from dreams about her. All of it was ten times more painful for how tightly I’d stifled it. It raged at the core of me, seeking any out, and I had to keep a near-constant handle on it. All this from a mere hint of friendship.

  So, I’d pulled back more and more every day since then. Distanced myself to an almost absurd degree, including hiding up here on the roof from time to time. All the while, I beat my head against the ever-changing problem Tiani presented.

  I had no idea what to do. Instead, I had an uproar of feelings knotting in the center of my chest. Heat twisted and surged inside of me every time I caught a whiff of her scent. The sight of her sent me into a tailspin of regret and longing.

  Meanwhile, Tiani had no idea. Unfortunately, my patience had been shorter than usual, and our conversations had lapsed into mere formalities. It was all my fault.

  I’d completely failed at keeping up the Winfyre Alpha appearances. I’d arrogantly assumed that I could handle anything that came my way. I’d been in the military, dealt with the hell of graduate school, and then been thrust into a world where the line of reality had been snapped in half, then rearranged into a world where shifters, Riftborn, and Excris existed.

  And where Brody doesn’t.

  But even with the simplest things, I realized I was no match for a woman like Tiani.

  The other day, I’d asked her politely to keep her papers neater and had woken up to a living room covered in open books. There’d been papers in the cabinets and breadbox, some with inappropriate doodles and comments. She’d also hidden all the pens.

  Hell if it hadn’t made me laugh. Pissed me off, too, of course.

  Tiani was too damn funny for her own good. The most outrageous things came out of her mouth, tempered with a surprising silliness. One minute she was a rousing debater on Tristan’s level, then she was doing an impression of Kal that was so spot-on, it was eerie.

  She was fiery and quick, pulling out facts or coming up with ideas that made me gape at her. Not only physically restless, it seemed, but mentally. To some, it might seem like her butterfly mind was all over the place, but I realized it was because she could make connections so fast, it took most people a minute to catch up.

  And by then, she was off and running again.

  I really like that about her.

  It was no wonder I’d let my guard down that proverbial inch, and Tiani had seized it, stretching it for miles before I noticed.

  Yeah, this was all my fault. I should’ve known bett
er. I shouldn’t have been so friendly.

  But I didn’t know how to apologize to her, or even if I should. It wasn’t like I hadn’t been polite, per se, beyond that initial rudeness. I just hadn’t been around. Or if I was, I was busy and didn’t have time for our discussions. Damn, I missed those.

  It was probably time to find Tiani lodging elsewhere. I should’ve done that in the first place. She could continue with the work she was doing and lodge somewhere in Cobalt with the Vixens, along with a 24-hour guard. She’d hate it, but I could probably also leave the guard part out.

  She’ll notice. She’s too smart.

  There was also the fact that I’d been putting that off for a week.

  I couldn’t have her around, and yet I didn’t want to let her go.

  With a sigh, I slid down the roof, gripped the side, and swung down to the ground. Landing in a crouch, I straightened and brushed myself off. My skin was cold to the touch, but I didn’t feel cold. In fact, I couldn’t even recall the last time I felt cold.

  This sensation was different, though. I felt numb.

  “Were you on the roof again?”

  Every nerve jolted awake, and the numbness vanished into a pool of heat and guilt. Knotting my fists at my sides, I nodded and half-glanced over at Tiani. She was standing outside the front door, wearing a long jacket and thick scarf, her hair pulled into a high bun that drew attention to her sharp cheekbones. The chilly air had caused pink to bloom across her cheeks.

  Strange to think her face had ever been unfamiliar to me. More than once, I caught myself drawing it in my mind, the long curve of her cheekbones, the feline tilt of her eyes, and the proud edge of her nose. A nose that wrinkled at me now.

  “Everything okay?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, thanks.”

  I sounded terse and miserable, but I couldn’t get out another word. The seconds dragged on, tightening around my throat. I expected Tiani to go inside, but she kept looking at me. A lurch went through my gut. Should I clear the air? Or break the news that she was moving out?