Always On My Mind

by Kelsey Browning

  Grayson looked up, his lips poking out in that cute way they did when he was sad. “Mom, I’m sorry about Jesus.”

  Jenny rounded the table and scooped him out of his chair and into a hug. “Accidents happen. Ever heard that saying about not crying over spilled milk?”

  “Mimi would cry if she spilled her whiskey.”

  Jenny caught her mom’s smile over Grayson’s shoulder. “Well, it means we shouldn’t worry about things we can’t change. We just have to keep moving forward and make the best of it. Next time you come tell me. Deal?”

  “But Jesus still doesn’t have arms.” Grayson wiggled, and she released him. “And Mimi said that Colton guy was gonna have a sh…uh…shoot-fit.”

  Jenny raised her brows at her mom. “Is that so?”

  “Just telling it like it is.” Her mom lifted a shoulder and flipped two pancakes onto a plate already loaded with bacon. She shoved it at Jenny. “Here, eat. You need to smile at people to get them to vote for you. And I know you. If you’re hungry, you’re more likely to bite off people’s heads.”

  Who was Jenny to argue with the truth? She crunched and chewed her way through breakfast in record time. She was rinsing her plate when her phone vibrated in her pants pocket. One swipe at the screen revealed a text from Teague.

  10 min. Schl prkg lot.

  Hope blossomed in Jenny’s chest. “Let’s go,” she said to Grayson and her mom. And without cleaning up or brushing their teeth, they shot out of the house with Sera and Maggie behind them.

  Eight minutes after Jenny got Teague’s text, her mom spun her truck in a half donut, squealing into a parking space at the school beside his truck.

  “We’ll all go inside,” her mom said, “while you and Teague put the finishing touches on Jesus.”

  Jesus in her arms, Jenny jumped down from the truck and ran to Teague, who was leaning against his hood, arms folded and mouth unsmiling. All that hope that had been bubbling inside her lost its effervescence. “You didn’t find a set?”

  “Oh, I did.” Teague arched his neck back and stared at the crisp blue sky. “Three towns over at six this morning, but they were some kinda shiny stuff that the guy wanted two grand for. If I’d thought they would’ve made Colton happy, I’d’ve bought them. But somehow, I knew the guy was going for rustic Jesus. Not fancy.”

  She sighed. “I’ll go tell Colton and give him my ornaments.”

  Teague caught her arm. “That’s it? You’re just going to give up?”

  She sure hadn’t been very grateful for his assistance, had she? And although she was still a little sore inside from his lies, he’d only been trying to help her son. And that, she could forgive.

  Cupping Teague’s unshaven jaw in her hand, she went on tiptoe and pressed a kiss to his mouth. Poor guy’s eyes were slightly bloodshot, making her feel guilty that she’d caught three hours of sleep while he’d had none. “Thank you for trying. You, Mom, the others. You’ve all come through for me, and I can’t tell you how much that means to me.”

  “Are we okay then?”

  “Let’s get through the judging. Sera says the universe will always show us the right path.”

  Teague pointed at the bundle in her arms. “You’ll lose for sure if Jesus is missing two limbs.”

  “Sometimes you’ve gotta know when to fold, Teague.”

  “To hell with that.” He headed for his truck bed and popped the lock on a silver toolbox. He rummaged around for several minutes and finally said, “I knew I had something.”

  He thrust two wooden folding rulers at her. Vintage, like the kind her grandpa had used to measure and mark her height with. Nostalgia and longing rose up in Jenny. But these didn’t look anything like a carving set. They weren’t even the same color—one was white and the other yellow. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but—”

  “What have you got to lose?”

  He was right. She’d already lost hope that she’d win this competition. “Open your tailgate,” she said.

  Teague lowered the backend of his truck, and Jenny performed reconstructive surgery with baling wire, the rulers and wire snippers. “I actually like this better. Jesus looks like a healthy, chubby baby now. He was too thin before.”

  Teague laughed and wound his arm around her shoulders to lead her into the school. “The Virgin Mary will thank you.”

  When they approached Colton’s booth, he wore a grimace that would give the Grinch a run for grumpiest of the season. Jenny passed him the new and improved Jesus, but he just gazed down at it and shook his head.

  She glanced at his vase to find it was as full as hers had been last night. That was it. Her chances of winning were over. Because giving him half her ornaments would nudge him securely into the winner’s circle.

  “I did my best,” she said. “Give me a minute and I’ll bring you the ornaments.”

  He peered closer at her wiring work. “Hmm.”

  Well that was the best she could do. It was over now. The adrenalin from the all-out effort that had kept her going the night before drained away with the last of her hope.

  Colton’s gaze shifted from the sculpture back to Jenny. “This is a new technique. I like what you’ve done here. If I let you keep your ornaments, will you teach me how to make this loop and tuck?”

  Seriously? If he’d let her keep her votes, she’d show him how to hot-wire a car. Maybe, just maybe, she could still pull out a win.

  Teague stuck out his hand to Colton. “Ellerbee, you’re a good man.” Then he escorted her to her own booth. “I’ll stop by later to see how you’re doing.”

  As the clock approached noon, the judging cutoff, her vase had only gained a dozen or so ornaments. Who was everyone voting for?

  “Ladies and gentlemen,” Angelina announced over a loudspeaker, “if you’d be so kind as to gather in the cafeteria, we’ll award this year’s winner of the Holiday Artfest.”

  Jenny handed over her vase to one of the volunteers and followed the crowd down the hallway. In the cafeteria, her mom waved from a table across the room. The place smelled of old spaghetti and green beans. Some things about school never changed.

  When Jenny made her way over, Sera said, “I think you did an amazing job with Jesus. In fact, I heard people talking about the symbolism of his ruler arms. How he was put on this earth not to measure man’s good deeds but to measure what was in his heart.”

  That was deep. She had to wonder if Sera had planted the idea. Jenny wished she’d thought of it.

  The volunteers filed on stage. One by one, they each set the vases on the long table, and handed Angelina a card with the total number of votes for each artist.

  The only thing in Jenny’s heart was fear. Two of the glass containers were sadly low on votes, but two were almost full. She’d swear that one on the right was hers.

  “And now—”

  Teague slid into the chair beside Jenny as Angelina addressed the group. He wrapped his hand around Jenny’s, but even his touch couldn’t warm the feeling of foreboding inside her.

  “—I give you this year’s Holiday Artfest winner and recipient of the Summer Shoals High School art fellowship…Colton Ellerbee!”

  Chapter 13

  Teague gave Jenny space for a couple of days after she lost the competition while he nursed his own twin emotions of guilt and disappointment. Guilt that he’d lied to her—and hurt her—again. And disappointment that his plan hadn’t worked.

  But the evening of the Candlelight Tour of Homes, Teague drove up to Summer Haven. He had to admit all the scrambling Maggie and the others had done to make sure Summer Haven remained part of the tour had paid off. The place looked beautiful. As festive as ever. Miss Lillian wasn’t here to see it so he pulled out his phone and took a picture for her. She would be proud of how perfect Summer Haven looked today.

  He’d already cruised by the other houses on the circuit. Each was primped and prepared to delight every passerby, but the Summer family home was something special. Probably b
ecause of the people who lived inside and cherished it.

  But as festive as the white twinkle lights, evergreen wreaths and red bows were, they couldn’t lighten the disappointment weighing him down. Jenny had lost, and that meant she was leaving.

  And when she did, she’d be taking something critical with her. His heart.

  But at least she knew how he felt.

  He parked at the edge of the lawn and followed a group of people inside. He glanced across the parlor where Jenny was ladling punch and chatting with visitors who’d stopped by for the interior tour. She wore snug black pants and a soft-looking red sweater. And tonight, her hair was styled in loose waves that made her look like a woman who could be a little wild.

  He liked it.

  He loved her.

  She glanced up and smiled at him. Somehow, that made her leaving hurt even more.

  The doorbell rang, and Jenny angled her chin that direction, silently asking if Teague would answer it.

  Teague swung the door open, but it wasn’t a group on the tour, but rather Colton Ellerbee standing there in a red felt beret and matching scarf around his neck. Behind him, a U-Haul truck was half-backed onto the yard.

  What the hell? “Ellerbee,” Teague said, “is that your doing? You’re tearing up the grass.”

  “That grass is dormant this time of year,” Colton said with a dismissive flip of his hand. “Is Jenny around?”

  “Yes, but why are you driving a moving truck?”

  “Because I’m moving something. Could I please talk with Jenny?”

  “I’ll go get her.”

  Back in the parlor, he drew Jenny away from a couple telling her how much they’d loved her photos and how they hoped she’d be available to take some shots of their cat, Theodore. “Colton is on the porch asking for you.”

  By the time they made it back outside, Colton had opened the truck cargo door and was wrestling with…that gas-can-headed sheep. Colton called out, “Can a man get a hand here?”

  It looked as if that sheep was about to get the better of Colton, so Teague and Jenny ran out to help him.

  “Only nine pieces to go,” Colton said cheerfully.

  Jenny poked her head into the back of the truck. “This is your nativity scene.”

  “Yep,” he said. “I want to donate it to Summer Haven. I figure the prettiest house in town should have the best nativity scene.”

  Teague glanced back at the house to see folks coming out the front door to see what was going on. He said to Maggie, “Ellerbee here wants to donate the nativity to Summer Haven. You okay with that?”

  Maggie’s eyes widened, but she covered it quickly with a smile. “But…but that’s too much. So generous. We couldn’t accept—”

  “And along with the nativity,” Colton said, “I came by to give Jenny the residency.”

  Hope hit Teague square in the chest. “Can you do that?” he asked Ellerbee, but his attention was on Jenny, who stood there with her mouth agape.

  “I talked to Angelina, and she and the event committee gave it the okay,” Colton told them. “After the show, I had so many people clamoring for my work that I won’t have a lick of time to teach kids a thing about art in the next year. I’ll be too busy in my workshop.”

  “What about the prize money?” Jenny asked.

  Colton chuckled. “I’m willing to be generous but not stupid. That money will pay for a lot of folding rulers. After all, people loved Jesus’s extending arms. I’ll be incorporating at least one ruler into all my pieces from now on.”

  Teague stared at Jenny, willing her to accept Colton’s offer. C’mon, Jenny. Give us a chance.

  Jenny’s mind was whirling, and her focus bounced from Colton to her mom to Grayson to Teague. The hope she saw in his face almost made her blurt out “Yes!” but she couldn’t afford to make a decision based only on what he wanted. Or even what she wanted.

  “Without the money,” she said, “I can’t afford Grayson’s braces. And I’m not sure we could scrape by on the residency alone. I’ll have to think about it. Decide if it’s the right thing for my son.”

  Teague ducked his head, but she caught the downward turn of his lips. He was disappointed, but he was holding it in.

  “Please tell Angelina I’ll get back with her on the offer no later than tomorrow.”

  Colton gave a little salute, his hand chopping toward his beret. “Suit yourself.”

  As soon as he’d hopped into the moving truck, all hell broke loose around Jenny. Everyone talking at once, chattering about Colton’s art, Angelina’s surprising show of generosity, and how much the high school needed someone to pump life into their arts program. And how Jenny, a mother herself, would bring more to the program than Colton ever would have.

  Amid all the ruckus, Teague simply pulled Jenny close and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll support you whatever you decide.”

  She angled her face to look up at him. “Even if it’s not the answer you want?”

  Teague turned his head, and Jenny followed to see Grayson standing near her mom, his eyes narrowed and his lower lip poked out. “I’ve come to realize I’ll never be the most important man in your life again. And that’s okay. Because if Grayson’s not happy, then you’re not happy. And if you’re not happy, then I’m not happy. What I want, Jenny, is for us to be happy together.”

  “I need time to think and talk with Grayson.”

  “I’m not going anywhere.” He gave her arms a squeeze, then released her. “Just let me know.”

  He headed across the lawn toward his truck, and the December night air suddenly penetrated Jenny’s sweater, chilling her down to her soul. Would she ever be warm again if Teague wasn’t in her life?

  Her mom walked up and stood shoulder-to-shoulder with her, also watching Teague leave. “He’s a good man. Made some ass-stupid mistakes. But he loves you, and sugar, he loves Grayson. Don’t turn this opportunity down just because he hid something from you. I’m as guilty as he is.”

  “Yes, you are.”

  Her mom nudged her with an elbow. “But you still love me.”

  “Someone has to care for the troublemakers in this world.”

  “Go talk with Grayson. I know together you can figure out what’s best for you both.”

  Jenny glanced at her mom, who wore a bland expression. But that small twitch at the corner of her left eye gave her away. She was trying to give Jenny room, but she was also invested. She wanted her to accept the residency.

  But it wasn’t her mom’s way to beg. She was the strongest woman Jenny had ever known, and she’d taught her how to stand up for herself, forge her way in this world, and make her own decisions. Why hadn’t Jenny understood what a gift that was before now?

  On impulse, she threw her arms around her mom and gave her a big hug. “Thank you.”

  Rather than a lukewarm back pat, her mom met her embrace full strength. “What for?”

  “For being my mother.”

  “I’m sure not what you would’ve ordered if you’d been able to pick for yourself.”

  Jenny laughed through her tears. “Probably not, but sometimes we’re lucky enough not to be given what we want but what we need.”

  Grayson ran up to them and wrapped his strong little arms around their waists. “Are we staying, Mom? And are you marrying Teague?” With that last question, he burrowed his face into Jenny’s side as though he couldn’t bear to see her answer.

  Her mom loosened her grip on Jenny, scrubbed a hand over Grayson’s hair, then headed back toward the house, herding the onlookers along her way to continue their holiday tour celebration.

  Jenny wrapped her arm around Grayson’s shoulder and led him toward the gazebo. They dropped side-by-side to the steps and sat staring out into the star-studded night.

  “Gray,” Jenny said softly, “when you’re a kid, adults seem like they have all the answers. But the truth is, we’re just doing the best we can.”

  “Sometimes the best we can do still isn
’t good enough. Just like me in geography.” He leaned his head against her shoulder. “But you’re the best mom in the world.”

  That made her chuckle because it wasn’t as if he had other moms to compare her to. Then again, she thought she had the best mom in the world too. “We have some big decisions to make, and I’m not sure you understand everything.”

  “It’s easy. You say yes. We move to Summer Shoals. You get to take pictures. I get to hang out with Booger, but we’ll be way more careful. You get to be happy. And Mimi will be happy, and Daddy can come visit. He travels all the time anyway.”

  Moving down here for a year could put cracks in the stability she’d been trying so desperately to build for Grayson. “There’s more to it than that, honey.”

  He looked up at her, his green eyes clear with wisdom way beyond his years. “No, Mom, it’s pretty simple.”

  Oh, to be eight years old again and see everything in black and white. “Won’t you miss your friends in Boston? Miss seeing your dad?”

  “I’d miss Mimi, Sera, Maggie and Booger if we go back to Boston. But we can visit, right?”

  She hadn’t thought about it that way. Grayson had as much family—whether blood-related or not—down here in Summer Shoals. But he hadn’t mentioned Teague.

  “You know Teague and I knew each other a long time ago.”

  “Yeah, Mimi said you were hot and heavy.” His mouth twisted, and he looked up at her. “What’s that mean?”

  A conversation for another time. “It means we liked one another. Were girlfriend and boyfriend.”

  “Did you love him?”

  Lord, how she’d loved him. “Yes.”

  “Then you didn’t love my dad.” Grayson’s words were matter-of-fact, but his tone wavered up and down.

  Jenny pulled him into her side. “Grown-ups are complicated. It’s possible to love more than one person.”

  “At the same time?”

  She supposed it was, since her love for Teague had never completely died. “Sometimes there’s more than one right person for you. They come into our lives at different times. A few years ago, it was the right time for your dad and me. It was the right time for us to make you. And you’re the best thing I ever did in my whole life. I love you, Grayson.”