A Year of Taking Chances

by Jennifer Bohnet

  Of course, none of this had been necessary when Jodie had lived here – they’d known instinctively what the other would like and how they would react to things. But Maisie was a stranger with who knew what kind of habits.

  By one minute to seven Tina had convinced herself having a stranger as a flatmate was totally the wrong thing to do. She didn’t need or want one. She’d got used to having the place to herself. Being a slob if she felt like it; being obsessive over housework if the mood took her – or ignoring it totally for days. Coming home after a day at the agency working with Leah, she’d come to appreciate the silence and the fact that there was no one she had to talk to. Granted, mornings tended to be a problem for her, but then that wasn’t something she expected a new flatmate to help with. It was her problem.

  But it was too late to cancel now; Maisie would be here any minute. So she’d be polite, go through the motions of discussing things and then suggest they both took a couple of days to think things over. In reality, Tina knew she’d already made her decision. She was happy with the status quo and didn’t need a stranger as a flatmate. Until she found someone she knew and liked who needed somewhere to live, she’d continue to top up the rent from her savings. It wouldn’t be forever. Imagine if she unwittingly found herself living with someone like Leah. She shuddered. No, she wasn’t going to take that risk.

  Opening the door a few seconds later, after a gentle knock that if she hadn’t been listening for she’d have missed, Tina blinked. She hadn’t expected this. ‘Oh.’

  Standing in front of her with a hopeful smile was a fair-haired girl – no way was she old enough to be called a woman. With her black-velvet jacket, torn jeans and blonde hair cropped short, she looked more like an escapee from a boy band. Why hadn’t it occurred to her that Maisie could be so young? She’d simply assumed she’d be near her own and Beth’s age, not someone who looked as if she should still be in kindergarten. Holding the door open and, despite trying not to, staring at the girl, Tina felt completely wrong-footed.

  ‘Hi. I’m Maisie,’ a quiet voice told her.

  ‘Come in,’ Tina said, feeling her earlier resolve not to offer Maisie a room weakening instantly. Why couldn’t Maisie have turned out to be older and a goth or something weird, rather than somebody who looked incredibly sweet and naive as well as absurdly young? And in desperate need of a helping hand.

  ‘Oh, let me help you with that,’ she said, as Maisie started to struggle to slip a large rucksack off her back.

  ‘This weighs a ton. However did you manage to carry it? There’s nothing of you.’ She stopped herself from saying ‘You’re far too thin’ just in time.

  Maisie shrugged. ‘No choice. Nowhere to leave it and all my stuff is in it.’

  Tina put the heavy rucksack down by the door leading to the spare bedroom and turned back to Maisie.

  ‘Coffee?’

  Maisie nodded. ‘That would be lovely, thank you.’ She sank down on the settee, tiredly pushing strands of blonde hair away from her face. ‘It’s lovely and warm in here.’

  ‘Did it take you long to find me?’ Tina asked.

  ‘No. I wasn’t far away,’ Maisie said.

  Waiting for the kettle to boil, Tina opened a packet of biscuits and put them beside the mugs before pouring the coffee and taking it through to the sitting room. She placed it on the small table by the settee and offered Maisie a biscuit.

  ‘Beth said you were couch-surfing. Where was the couch last night?’

  Maisie waved a hand vaguely in the air. ‘About twenty minutes away. Ooh, bourbons – my favourite. Can I have two, please?’

  Tina nodded. ‘Of course.’ She pushed the open packet towards her. ‘How long have you been in London?’

  ‘Two nightmarish weeks.’

  Tina took a sip of her own coffee and waited for Maisie to say more, but her mouth was too full of biscuit to continue.

  Something wasn’t quite right here. The more Tina looked at Maisie, the more she realised how unkempt she was. Surely, even if she was couch-surfing in friends’ homes, she’d be able to use the shower?

  ‘Why did you come down to London in the first place?’ Thoughtfully, Tina watched Maisie devour the biscuits and then take a gulp of coffee.

  When she could finally speak again, Maisie looked at Tina and said quietly, ‘I came down to be with my boyfriend who’d got a job here four months ago. What I didn’t know until I arrived was that, along with his new job, he’d also begun a new relationship.’ She took another gulp of coffee.

  ‘John and I grew up together, our families are close friends. Looking back, I suppose we did drift into a relationship, but I thought we really loved each other. We were even thinking about getting engaged, which was when he decided, if we were to have a proper future, he needed to move down south and earn some real money.’

  ‘I understand how hurt you must have been and I’m sorry about that, but I have to ask, why didn’t you get straight back on the train and go home?’ Tina said. ‘And why didn’t he tell you it was over and not to come down, when you told him your plans? That would have been the right thing to do.’

  ‘I didn’t tell him. I wanted to surprise him. Instead it was me who got the biggest surprise.’ Maisie shook her head. ‘As for going straight back home. I felt such an idiot. I’d been telling everyone about this marvellous new life I was going to have in London with John. I just couldn’t face going home and having to tell people the truth. That he’d dumped me. I thought if I stayed and got a job it would be easier to admit in a month or two that John and I had broken up, but that I was fine and had made a life for myself down here.’

  ‘But you’re not fine, are you?’ Tina said gently. ‘And you haven’t found a job.’

  Maisie rubbed her eyes. ‘No.’

  ‘How old are you?’

  ‘Twenty – almost.’

  ‘Do you have any money?’

  A shake of the head confirmed Tina’s worse fears.

  ‘Not much. About three pounds.’

  ‘When was the last time you ate a proper meal?’

  ‘I had something last night from the soup kitchen.’

  ‘Right. Stop eating those biscuits now. I’m going to make you some proper food. And then we’re going to talk,’ Tina said. ‘Bowl of pasta and Bolognese sauce OK?’

  ‘Thank you,’ Maisie said. ‘Can I help?’

  ‘No, it’s OK. Stay where you are. It won’t take long. You can talk to me while I do it. So, how d’you know Beth?’

  For her own peace of mind and before things went any further, Tina needed to know there was a genuine link between them. Not just someone Beth had met who was down on their luck.

  ‘She’s a friend of my sister. I bumped into her outside… outside King’s Cross station.’

  Tina noted the hesitation and looked up from the pasta she was pouring into the saucepan. ‘Were you begging?’

  She barely heard the whispered ‘Yes’.

  ‘Did Beth realise what you were doing?’

  ‘No. I saw her coming so I pretended to be just leaving the station.’

  Tina sighed as she heated the Bolognese sauce. The mention of the soup kitchen and begging at King’s Cross filled her with dismay. No way could she let Maisie go back out to that life with all the dangers it posed for her. She was so vulnerable. She was lucky she was still in one piece after a couple of weeks in London without a home.

  When the pasta meal was ready she put it on the breakfast bar, but Maisie was asleep on the settee, looking so young and defenceless Tina could have cried.

  ‘Meal’s ready,’ she said, gently touching her arm. ‘Fancy a small glass of wine with it?’

  Maisie gave a start as she opened her eyes. ‘Sorry. I haven’t had much sleep recently. A glass of wine sounds good.’

  As Maisie ate her meal, Tina sipped her wine and watched her carefully for several moments before saying gently, ‘You weren’t telling Beth the truth, were you, about couch-surfing? So, where exactly have
you been sleeping?’

  ‘Some nights, when I’d made enough money begging, I managed to get a bed in a hostel,’ Maisie shrugged. ‘Otherwise, anywhere I felt safe. There weren’t many places where that happened.’ She looked at Tina as she scraped the last of the sauce of the plate. ‘That was delicious, thank you.’

  ‘Right. We need to talk,’ Tina said, reaching a decision. ‘The facts are: one – you’ve got nowhere to live, two – no money to pay rent, and three – no job.’

  ‘That just about sums it up,’ Maisie said quietly.

  Tina looked at her, knowing she had to help this… this girl-child.

  ‘So, if I were to give you the train fare to go home – would you take it and do that? Or…’ Tina took a deep breath. ‘If I said you could have my spare room rent-free for a month, sort yourself out, find a job, and start to create a new life for yourself down here, would you want to do that?’

  Tina held her hand up as Maisie went to speak. ‘You don’t need to make a rushed decision. Think about all the implications properly.’

  She picked up Maisie’s empty plate and glass before smiling at her. ‘You can spend the night here. Go and take a shower and then you can go to bed and get a good night’s sleep. Tell me your decision in the morning and we’ll sort things out one way or the other.’

  While Maisie was in the shower Tina washed up, deep in thought. Would the girl take her up on her offer to stay? Or would she take the train fare and go back to Scotland? Or even rob her and then disappear? Was she being stupid offering Maisie a place to stay for a month?

  Closing the cutlery drawer Tina decided that, whatever happened, she had to offer Maisie help. It was all too easy for youngsters to get sucked into the lowlife she knew existed out there in the city. Especially when they were all alone. They were easy prey to the unscrupulous. Maisie was simply a young girl down on her luck who needed a helping hand. And she, Tina, was determined to be that helping hand.

  Chapter Eight

  ‘I enjoyed last night,’ Jodie said as she poured coffees for her and Ben at breakfast the Sunday morning after supper at Annette’s. She’d decided not to challenge him directly about his rudeness to Thierry but she had no intention of letting him think she’d forgotten about it.

  ‘It was lovely to see Nicola again. Did I tell you she’s invited me down for coffee any time? And your mum’s friend Thierry seems nice.’

  Ben, concentrating on pulling his croissant apart and heaping a spoonful of marmalade on it, grunted.

  ‘I don’t understand why Mama encourages him.’

  ‘Maybe because she likes him?’ Jodie said. ‘Why, don’t you?’

  Ben shrugged. ‘He was my father’s friend. They grew up together in the next village. Best men at each other’s weddings. Then they had a spectacular falling out. Thierry’s wife was from down near Toulouse and they moved down there when that happened. Since he’s retired and moved back up here, he’s been hanging around Mama more and more.’

  ‘What happened to his wife?’

  ‘She died.’

  When Ben didn’t say any more, Jodie said, ‘They’re probably drawn together because of shared memories of your father then.’

  Ben gave her a look. ‘Maybe. So long as he’s not after her for any other reason.’

  Jodie looked at him. ‘You can tell they’re fond of each other and that they’re good friends. Thierry certainly doesn’t look as if he needs anybody else’s money either, if that’s what you’re worried about. You should be pleased for Annette. She’s still got her life to lead and she seems to want Thierry to be a part of it.’

  When Ben shrugged and didn’t answer, Jodie helped herself to a croissant before changing the subject and saying, ‘So, the London Book Fair. Are you going to tell me which hotel you’ve booked us into? Or are you planning on surprising me with somewhere glitzy?’ She smiled at him hopefully.

  She’d been too tired when they left Annette’s at midnight to broach the subject on the drive home.

  There was a brief silence before Ben said, ‘Nowhere. We’re not going.’

  ‘That’s not the surprise I wanted,’ Jodie said, deflated. ‘I was so looking forward to it. Why aren’t we going?’

  ‘I know how much you were looking forward to it and I feel really guilty about disappointing you,’ Ben said. ‘But my edits came back from the publisher yesterday and, even though they warned me, I can’t believe how many there are. I’m having to rewrite half a dozen chapters.’

  Jodie sighed. ‘There’s still a few weeks before the Fair though. Maybe you’ll get through them quicker than you anticipate?’

  ‘Perhaps. I promise you if that happens we’ll jump on a plane and go. Even if it’s only for one day.’ He stood up. ‘Right, back to the typeface.’

  ‘I was hoping we might go for a walk together sometime today?’ Jodie said. ‘Or even out for lunch? Spend some time together – it is Sunday, supposedly a day of rest.’

  She knew she sounded petulant but right now she didn’t care. She was fed up of spending so much time alone. And she was cross and upset about Ben cancelling the London trip. He didn’t seem to realise how important it was to her. As she stood up and went to clear the table Ben took her in his arms and hugged her. Jodie pretended not to hear his smothered sigh before he spoke.

  ‘Shall we have lunch in the village restaurant? But I warn you, I’ll have to work when we get back. And Jodie, I really am desperately sorry. I was dreading telling you about the Fair. That’s why I couldn’t tell you in front of everyone last night.’ He gave her a gentle kiss before saying, ‘You could go on your own if you wanted.’

  ‘I suppose I could,’ Jodie said. ‘Wouldn’t be the same without you though. I was looking forward to introducing you to more of my friends. Taking you to my favourite haunts.’

  ‘I promise we’ll do that soon,’ Ben said. ‘Go ring the restaurant and book a table for one-thirty. The number’s in the book. Give me a shout about one o’clock and I’ll have a quick shower before we leave.’

  ‘OK. I’ll take Tess for a walk this morning,’ Jodie said, feeling happier at the thought of at least spending some time with Ben.

  An hour later, as she stood at the top of the hill behind the village, listening to the church bells tolling out across the valley, she thought about the new life she’d thrown herself into a few short months ago. A life she’d longed for. Falling in love with Ben had unleashed emotions and desires in her that she’d repressed for so long as she concentrated on her career, she’d forgotten they’d ever existed. Feelings of loving someone and being loved in return; wanting a family; needing to lead a less stressful life.

  So why did she feel so unsettled at the moment? Had Tina been right when she’d tried to warn her? Tried to make her think more about whether leaping into marriage with Ben was the right thing to do?

  As she’d flung herself into the excitement of loving Ben and planning the wedding, Jodie realised she hadn’t given enough – or any, really – serious thought to how her life would be as a married woman. Or how different life would be for her in a foreign country.

  Watching the cars travelling along the main road through the village to pick up the main route up to the local ski resort, she realised she’d also failed to take into account her independent streak. Jacqueline had often told her, ‘You’re too independent for your own good, young lady.’

  Had she been foolish when she’d assumed she and Ben would talk and make joint decisions about the things that affected them both? This past week alone, he’d arbitrarily taken two decisions without discussing things with her. First, he’d dismissed the cottage she liked, and now he’d cancelled the trip to the London Book Fair. Was it a French thing? Did all Frenchmen like to play the dominant husband? Although, to be fair, on both occasions he’d given her good reasons, and an alternative when he’d suggested she went to London anyway, on her own.

  Maybe she should go on her own. She could stay in her old room at Tina’s so no need to
worry about finding a hotel. A few days away, chatting to Tina and catching up with other friends; a day at the Book Fair, going to a show. Living life as she’d known it for so long. And then, when she got back here, she’d sort her life out. Make more of an effort to find some freelance work.

  ‘Come on, Tess,’ she called to the dog, who was happily inspecting some rabbit holes. ‘Let’s go home.’

  She’d phone Tina when she got back, make the arrangements and tell Ben her decision over lunch.

  Chapter Nine

  It was gone ten o’clock Sunday morning before Maisie woke up. Initially confused as to where she was when she opened her eyes, a welcome feeling of relief flooded through her body as she remembered Tina and her kindness the evening before.

  The food, the hot shower, this warm, comfortable bed – it had all been sheer bliss. The nightmare memories of the past couple of weeks would take time to fade but the deep sleep she’d fallen into last night was a step in the right direction. A tiny flame of optimism that everything would work out began to burn inside her. Tina hadn’t judged her, she’d simply offered help.

  She could hear Tina now, moving around the flat, and just make out the sound of the radio turned down low. The omnibus edition of The Archers. Mum would be listening to that in the kitchen at home while she prepared the vegetables for lunch. Home. Mum. Maisie tried to push thoughts of home away. Time to think about them later. After she’d decided which of the generous offers Tina had made last night to accept. Leave or stay? And, in truth, after that last tearful scene at home, did she really have a choice?

  Mum had been so cross with her when she’d told her she planned to follow John down to London.

  ‘Running after a boy never works,’ she’d said. She’d told her not to be so silly, that she was young, that she’d be better off getting out and making new friends, expanding her relationships before settling down.

  ‘How do you know who you want to be with if you don’t have anybody to compare them to? Besides, I’m worried we’ve pushed you into a relationship with John that’s too comfortable, too familiar, and too much what we as parents would like.’