Harpers Heroes

by Rosie Clarke

  ‘I wanted a bag like the ones you used to have before the war started,’ the very smart young woman Beth was serving said in complaining tones. ‘These leather ones are all very well, but I need something special.’

  ‘You were looking for crocodile or snake skin,’ Beth said and sighed, because this wasn’t the first disappointed customer she’d had recently. ‘I’m terribly sorry, madam, but Harpers can’t stock them for the moment – they all come in from abroad and the ships are needed to carry more important things, like food and ammunition.’

  ‘Oh, the war.’ The young woman sniffed in disgust. ‘Everywhere you go, it’s the same – we can’t get this because of the war or we can’t get that. Do you know, I couldn’t find one pair of black patent shoes I liked this morning. I think it is outrageous.’

  ‘Oh, I agree it is such a nuisance,’ Beth said, knowing from experience that it was best to agree with difficult customers like this one. ‘I wish I could offer you our usual range – and I’m sure we shall have them in again as soon as the war is over, but I do have a beautiful black patent bag and if you should find the shoes you want…’

  ‘Show me,’ the customer demanded, and Beth brought out one of their most expensive bags with a diamanté clasp. She saw from the gleam in the young woman’s eyes that she’d hit the right note. ‘Well, there was one pair of shoes I quite liked, but they were for evening wear – and so is this.’ She thought for a moment. ‘How much is it – two guineas? Yes, I think I’ll take it.’ She smiled suddenly. ‘I can afford the shoes and the bag and I didn’t think I could.’

  Beth hid her smile as she turned away to find a bag and some tissue to wrap it. She took her customer’s money and watched her walk happily from the department. A lot of customers complained when they couldn’t buy what they wanted, but deep down they all knew that they were lucky to have as much choice as they still had at Harpers. The reason was that Sally was tireless in seeking out new sources of supply and in getting the best deals from her suppliers. Beth had noticed the shelves of some of the shops in Oxford Street getting a little sparse in places. It was obviously going to get harder as the war progressed and the country began to run out of raw materials.

  Once again, Beth thought that she wouldn’t change places with Sally Harper; it was never an easy job and it was just going to get more difficult.

  ‘I’m sorry I was late back.’ Becky Stockbridge came over to Beth when there was a quiet moment at the counters. ‘I was searching for some gifts to send Maggie Gibbs.’ She bit her lip, tears hovering. ‘I wanted something really useful, so I bought her a pair of warm stockings, a tin of toffees and a box of Pears soap and then I wrapped it up and I had to wait ages in the Post Office to send it…’

  ‘Well, that was nice of you,’ Beth said and felt a stab of grief. ‘I hope Maggie will appreciate your thoughtfulness, Miss Stockbridge – and, next time, I suggest you wrap things at home and queue in your own time. I shall overlook on this occasion, but you know the rules.’

  ‘Yes, Mrs Burrows. I am sorry.’

  Beth nodded but didn’t smile and the girl returned to her counter looking chastened. Maggie still hadn’t written to them and Beth was struggling to cope with the lack of communication from her. She had tried to understand her point of view, but it still felt wrong. Surely Maggie would want to be at Tim’s funeral?

  Fred was putting a brave face on it. He’d got a photograph of Tim on his chest of drawers in his bedroom, but he’d hardly said a word about his son since the funeral. Beth had stood by his side in church that awful morning, feeling chilled and frozen even though it was a pleasant spring day. She’d placed a little posy of tulips on Tim’s grave, tears trickling down her cheeks. Both Jack and Fred had stood white-faced but silent and neither of them had said a word against Maggie – but Beth still found it hard to accept that she hadn’t come or sent any kind of message. How could she not if she’d loved him?

  Jack had returned to his ship and if anything, her anxiety was worse than it had ever been. Coupled with her distress at what she saw as Maggie’s rejection of Tim’s family, it weighed heavily on her.

  She struggled to put aside her grief and her anger as a customer entered the department and headed for her counter. Once she started showing the beautiful silver jewellery, her feelings became calmer and she pushed thoughts of Maggie to a far corner of her mind, but she could not banish the hurt deep inside her. After her customer had gone, Rachel came up to her and asked if she would like to have a coffee with her after work.

  ‘Yes, why not?’ Beth said. ‘We don’t see each other to really talk often enough these days…’

  Sadie looked at Maggie’s face as she entered their hut and sighed. She looked so ill, but she just wouldn’t give in, wouldn’t take a minute longer from her duty than was necessary. She was the first to volunteer for an extra shift and she hadn’t taken a day off to stay in the village or at the farm for weeks – not since the news of her fiancé’s death, and it was killing her.

  ‘Here, love, have some cocoa,’ Sadie said and gave her a mug brimming with the hot creamy chocolate drink. ‘I went and got these for us, because I knew you wouldn’t bother.’

  Maggie gave her a wan smile and sat down on the bed. ‘Thanks, Sadie, I haven’t had anything since this morning.’

  ‘You must eat,’ Sadie said and shoved a ham sandwich in front of her. ‘I got this too and it’s not bad – eat and drink or I’ll force-feed you…’

  ‘You’re a good friend,’ Maggie said. She bit into the ham sandwich reluctantly and ate slowly. ‘I just don’t think about food. All I can think about is those poor men; so many of them every day. Earlier, Sister Martin wanted volunteers to greet the transport and look after the new influx of wounded – as you know, we don’t have enough beds for them. They were lying on stretchers on the ground, some just on the earth. We went from one to the other, doing what we could – most of them didn’t stand a chance…’

  ‘I know.’ Sadie nodded and reached for her hand as she saw the look of despair in her friend’s eyes. ‘We can only do such much, Maggie love. I know you want to save them all but no one can.’

  ‘Tim didn’t have a chance. I didn’t have the chance to save him,’ Maggie said, and her face was suddenly white with pain. ‘When his plane went down, he just died out there alone and no one was there for him… I need to be there for these men, Sadie. I keep thinking if I can make it a little easier for them, perhaps Tim will know that it’s him I’m thinking about, that I wish I could ease his pain and fear, and with every man that recovers, perhaps a little bit of Tim’s spirit will live on…’

  ‘Yes, love, I know,’ Sadie said and went to put her arm about her shoulders.

  ‘He must have been alive at first and he froze to death in the sea,’ Maggie said, her voice breaking with grief. ‘All those hours he was waiting for help, desperately clinging to life, and when it came it was too late, and Sally’s letter told me it was poor Jack’s ship that found him. It must be a chance in a million, Sadie – but perhaps it was meant, God wanted him to be found so that we would know for certain he was dead.’

  ‘Oh, Maggie, don’t think about it,’ Sadie said and tears were trickling down her cheeks as she held her friend in her arms and rocked her to and fro. ‘It wasn’t your fault, love. You couldn’t have saved him, Maggie, it was just bad luck that he went down so far from land that he wasn’t found in time, and yes, perhaps it was fate or God who decreed that Jack’s ship was the one that found him. Stranger things have happened. Either way, you couldn’t have changed anything.’

  ‘I know.’ Maggie blinked hard. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to put this on you, to upset you.’

  ‘I’m your friend. That’s what friends are for,’ Sadie replied and hugged her tight. ‘I know how much it hurts, Maggie. I want to help you, but there’s nothing much I can do except be here for you.’

  ‘Thank you for being a friend,’ Maggie said. ‘I know I have friends at home, but I couldn’t f
ace them when he was buried – I wasn’t ready. I’ll write soon, to Fred first.’

  ‘They will understand,’ Sadie told her. ‘Of course they will.’

  ‘I had a letter from Becky Stockbridge, she says Beth wouldn’t let her write before. She said how sorry she was and she’s sending me a parcel.’ Maggie wiped her face with the back of her hand. ‘Beth and Sally and Fred sent letters, but I couldn’t read them, it was too soon – but I’ll read them and then I’ll write.’

  ‘That Lieutenant was here earlier,’ Sadie said, skilfully changing the subject. ‘He saw me as I was on my way to the canteen and asked how you were.’

  ‘Oh, do you mean Mick?’ Maggie nodded. ‘He was very kind when he told me…’ She caught back a sob and raised her head. ‘Thank you for the food and the cocoa. I might come to the village with you this weekend – but for now I’m tired and I need to sleep.’

  ‘I’m not surprised,’ Sadie said and drew back the blankets. ‘Get into bed and I shan’t disturb you. I’m on duty in half an hour.’ She stood looking down at Maggie as she closed her eyes. Maggie looked absolutely drained, as if she’d given her all, but she wouldn’t stop, she wouldn’t give in. She was hardly nineteen years old and this had aged her, drawing lines of grief about her eyes. It was as if she was punishing herself for Tim’s death.

  Sadie bent down and kissed her forehead as she slept. She was fond of Maggie, thought of her as a sister, and she would take care of her until she was able to look after herself again. Left to herself, Maggie would never eat and, in the end, she would collapse, but Sadie was determined to see her through. If she could get her away for the weekend she would, because it would do her the world of good to leave the pain and suffering behind for a while.

  Sadie smiled. Her own love life was progressing slowly. She’d seen Pierre twice in the last few weeks and each time she liked him more and more. Their kisses had become passionate and she knew he would want more than kisses soon. His work was dangerous and Sadie was aware that it was foolish to give her heart, even more so her virginity, because she could end up losing everything, just as Maggie had. In fact, she could lose more, for Maggie still had her career and her reputation and if Sadie fell for a child, she would lose both, but love came where it would and she didn’t have much choice because she’d fallen head over heels when they met for the very first time, and next time he was home and his kiss inflamed her, she wasn’t sure she could say no.

  Perhaps Maggie would meet someone else in time. Sadie hoped so, but she wouldn’t dream of suggesting it, because Maggie would instantly reject the idea. She thought that lieutenant who had inquired so earnestly after Maggie was handsome and rather nice, and that Irish accent was dreamy, so perhaps there was hope for her friend after all…

  Maggie opened her eyes to find that it was still dark. Not time for her to get up yet, but she couldn’t stay in bed any longer. She’d slept for a few hours because she was worn out, and that was the only way she could sleep. Unless she did extra shifts and made herself so tired that the weariness claimed her, her mind wouldn’t let her rest.

  She’d loved Tim so much, more than she’d even known, and her regrets were bitter, like a lead weight inside her. Why hadn’t she married him? Why hadn’t she gone to bed with him before he left her at the end of their last leave? She’d wanted to, but they’d resisted and now it was too late. In that moment, Maggie wished so much that she was pregnant with Tim’s child. It would have given her something of him, something to look forward to.

  ‘Oh, Tim, why…’ she whispered into the darkness and suddenly the hot tears cascaded and she was sobbing her heart out. ‘Tim, my darling, I love you so very much.’

  Maggie turned her face to the pillow and let the tears fall. She’d wept once in Michael O’Sullivan’s arms and not since until Sadie had comforted her and she felt a few tears on her cheeks, but now it was like a dam had broken and her grief poured out.

  After a while, the tears stopped. Maggie felt strangely calm as she got up and washed her face in some cold water from a jug on the washstand she and Sadie shared. Her friend’s kindness had unblocked that knot of misery inside her and she was feeling a bit more like herself at last. The grief for Tim was still there, but Maggie could cope now. The pain was there in her chest and she knew that there would always be an empty place inside her, but her life would go on.

  Suddenly, she was aware of being very hungry. She pulled on a clean uniform and apron. She would visit the canteen and ask for some bacon and eggs with fried bread if they had it and then she would write to Fred.

  When Beth came downstairs on a Saturday morning two weeks later, she found Fred sitting at the kitchen table, tears streaming down his cheeks.

  ‘Oh, Fred – Dad!’ she cried and went to him at once. ‘What is it?’

  ‘Read that.’ He thrust a single sheet of paper at her.

  My dear Fred – or may I call you Dad this once? I had hoped that you would be my father when Tim and I married. We talked of how we would live with you and how we would make sure you were never lonely as you grew into old age and we hoped to give you grandchildren. Tim loved you so much and I have grown to think of you as he did: kind, loving and strong – someone he could always lean on in times of stress.

  I am sorry I didn’t come home for Tim’s funeral, but I couldn’t bear it. One day I will visit his grave and bring flowers, but for the moment I have to stay here. There are thousands of men begging for help and each time I am able to relieve their pain and grief, I feel that I am helping Tim as I wish I had been able to in his time of need. I believe that he understands and he will always be with me in my heart. And perhaps with each man that lives because of what we do, a little of my Tim lives on in them.

  I am your friend and daughter for always. Forgive me, Fred. Tears flow as I write and I cannot write more.

  Your loving Maggie. xxx

  ‘Oh, Dad…’ Beth said and the tears ran down her cheeks. ‘Poor little Maggie. I didn’t realise… I was angry with her for not coming home but…’ She shook her head, unable to go on and Fred reached for her hand and held it tightly.

  ‘You mustn’t be angry, Beth. She’s a brave, dear girl, and we must love her and support her as much as we can.’

  ‘Yes.’ Beth smiled at him through her tears. ‘We must and I’m sorry I doubted her for an instant.’

  20

  Sally read the letter from Mick and smiled. He’d been back to the hospital where Maggie worked a couple of times and, although he hadn’t seen her, he’d spoken to her friend, Sadie.

  Maggie has a good friend in the lass, Sally. She looks after her, makes her eat and drink, makes sure there’s a cup of hot cocoa for her when she comes off duty. Sadie says she’s taken it very hard and works long hours – longer than anyone else – but Maggie is determined to do all she can for the poor devils they bring in on every transport. Ah, it’s the pity of it, to see those young lads lying there crying for their mothers and those gallant young girls holding their hands and giving them a sip of water and a puff of a cigarette. Most of them don’t even make it into the tents…

  I shouldn’t tell you, Sally darling, but it’s best you understand what’s going on out here. You might think your friend should come home, but she can’t – she’s too busy trying to save lives. Her young man didn’t get a chance and maybe that’s why young Maggie is trying so hard to save all the others – try to see it her way, and I know you will, because you’ve a good heart.

  ‘Another letter?’ Ben asked when he walked into the kitchen carrying his daughter in his arms. ‘She was wet, so I changed her – is that all right?’

  ‘Of course it is,’ Sally said and smiled as he put the little girl into her arms. Jenny opened her eyes and laughed up at her. ‘Are you hungry, my love? Shall I give you a little bit of soft bread dipped in egg this morning?’

  ‘Is she eating solids yet?’ Ben asked, surprised. ‘It astonishes me how fast she is growing up.’

  ‘She likes s
oft foods, but only a little as yet, and she still enjoys her bottle or anything milky,’ Sally answered. ‘Most things have to be mashed up, but she does like the taste of a boiled egg and she sucks it off the bread and butter.’

  Ben looked at her adoringly as she settled Jenny in her high chair. ‘I can’t believe she’s almost a year old.’

  ‘Well, she is in a few days,’ Sally said and smiled. ‘I’ve bought her a beautiful soft toy from you. It’s a Steiff and I was lucky to get it – the shop assistant told me it was the last they had in stock.’

  ‘Isn’t that a German maker?’

  ‘Yes, I think so – but it’s the best of its kind, Ben.’

  He frowned. ‘I’m not sure I want my child to have anything they made, what else did you buy her?’

  ‘A silver rattle and teething amber and two pretty dresses.’

  ‘Get her a silver mug and spoon from me and give the Steiff to a jumble sale,’ Ben said. ‘You can find her another toy made here in England, can’t you?’

  ‘Yes, of course.’ Sally felt a little upset that he’d rejected her choice, but decided to ignore it. Perhaps she ought to have realised that he would reject something made in Germany, because that was how most people felt in Britain now that the war was biting and so many men dying. ‘I can hardly believe she’s a year old next week. It just shows how time flies, doesn’t it?’

  ‘Too quickly,’ Ben said and frowned. ‘Was that letter from Jenni?’ His sister hadn’t written for weeks now and it was causing them concern.

  ‘No, it was from Mick. You can read it if you like, Ben; it’s mostly about Maggie.’