“That’s great, Bailey, but that doesn’t mean anything.”
“It means he likes you, Mandy. He knows you. I mean, even Jones can’t tell us apart half the time, don’t forget,” she said. “You have no idea how many times he’s shown up here asking for me when it was me answering the door. Gabe didn’t hesitate for a second, and that does mean something.”
Though I tried to pretend that it didn’t warm my heart to hear her say those things, I knew I couldn’t hide the giddiness in my expression. Bailey was right; no one besides our father (even our own mother) could tell us apart at first glance, and yet Gabe had been able to?
I thought back to the conversation I had with him earlier on the street.
He listened to me, talked with me. He came all the way from Desden just to check on me. And what was up with the way he kissed my hand? Was that just Gabe’s way of saying that the feelings were mutual? Sure. Of course, that was the easy, obvious answer. But maybe I’d simply read into something and let Bailey’s influence cloud my view of reality.
“I wouldn’t have sent any random guy to track you down at work, you know that right?” Bailey asked. “I only told him where he could find you because he told me that he’d been here last night, and you were really upset. He drove down from Desden just to check on you. I couldn’t send him away; anyone willing to make that kind of drive just to check on someone has to at least kind of like the person they’re coming to see.”
“Okay, so what, Bailey?” I asked. “Even if Gabe does like me—and I’m not saying that he does—what does it matter? We’re probably going to leave within the next month, Gabe’s not planning to stick around much longer himself, and that just makes things harder than they have to be.”
“Whether or not we actually leave,” Bailey said, sounding as though she might have a reason to doubt that we would, “it’s not going to change the fact that you like him. If you like him now, you’ll still like him when we land in California. But if you don’t tell him, or at least act on your feelings, you’ll never actually know how he feels. And do you really want to leave Sugar Creek not knowing? Do you really want your memories of this place to be riddled with regrets?” She leaned forward and lowered her voice. “Do you really want to look back at our time here and feel those same, distant, hurtful feelings you have when you think of Mom and everyone we left back in LA?”
Of course that’s not what I wanted. But telling Gabe how I felt—that I liked him, and I didn’t really know why—that was a risk. What if he laughed in my face? What if he didn’t feel the same way? What if he watched me with pity as I walked away, feeling nothing but idiotic for actually spewing my guts and spilling my heart?
Maybe Gabe was just a nice guy. Maybe he didn’t like me at all. And if he didn’t like me, and Bailey and I had both read way too far into his actions and words, I’d make a complete idiot of myself.
But on the other hand, if Gabe did return my feelings and I never told him how I felt… would I regret keeping it to myself?
I woke up bright and early the next morning, feeling strangely different for the first time in years. The familiar lump in my throat had only thickened, my muddled thoughts were more muddled than ever, and I couldn’t do anything—not even tie my shoe—without thinking of Gabe. The combination of all those things shouldn’t have made for a good start to the day, yet I couldn’t quit smiling.
Even in the car on the way to school, I couldn’t focus. I kept thinking about the things Bailey had said, and I couldn’t help but wonder what all of Gabe’s gestures had meant. I kept playing every possible scenario in my head, and I only wished I had a clearer idea of what both Gabe and I wanted from one another. Of course, wishing led me to look down at my hand every few seconds to study the place on my finger where he’d pressed his warm lips, and that definitely brought about another goofy smile.
I swore I could still feel my skin tingling, numbed by the remnants of his touch.
It was a good thing Bailey offered to drive that morning, because I doubt I would’ve been able to keep the car on the road. As it turned out, Gabe had the power to distract me worse than any cell phone ever could. Even when he wasn’t around, he was all I could seem to think about.
As we headed down Highway 6, I kept staring at my hand. My sister didn’t say much of anything. After our conversation the previous night, she knew I had a lot of thinking to do, and I think it actually impressed her to know that I was considering an alternative to the life I’d always promised myself.
It wasn’t until Bailey slammed on the brakes that my eyes snapped up from my fingers, and I felt the familiar jerk forward as the car came to a screeching halt. For the second time in a matter of days, Gabriel Raddick was standing in the middle of the road, blocking the street just in front of the park gates.
This time, though, Gabe wasn’t looking off to the side. His eyes were fixed straight forward, looking through the glass at my sister and me. He wore a pair of faded blue jeans, a gray hooded sweatshirt, and a ball cap. He looked about a million times better right then than he had when I’d first seen him standing in that very spot on Saturday morning.
Thankfully, though, my sister had quicker reflexes, and we didn’t come anywhere near hitting him.
Without waiting for either of us to get out of the car or muster any kind of reaction, he managed a quick walk over to the passenger’s side door and opened it.
“What are you doing?” I asked, stepping out. I looked down the road behind us to make sure there wasn’t any oncoming traffic. The road was clear for at least a mile, so I knew I had a couple of minutes to spare before we had to get off the street. “Didn’t you learn your lesson the first time around? This highway isn’t exactly a playground, Gabe.”
“I wouldn’t have let her hit me,” he said, walking around me. “I just needed her to stop.”
He dipped inside the car and reached for my purse. He said a quick ‘hello’ to Bailey before standing tall again and turning to me. Clutching my purse between his hands, he nodded up at the sidewalk. “All right, let’s go.”
“Go where? Gabe, what are you doing?” I asked, looking between him and Bailey. My sister leaned over to watch us, and he stopped and turned back to me. “Gabe, come on. I need my purse. I’m going to be late for school.”
“You’re not going today.”
“I am,” I said, looking back to the car. “We’re on our way there now, and we’re going to run late if—”
“Spend the day with me,” he said, nodding back at the park.
“Spend the day with you?” My jaw unhinged. “What are you talking about? It’s the middle of the week. I have school.”
“Skip it,” he said, shrugging a shoulder.
“Skip school?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Why not?”
“Because it’s one of the rules,” Bailey yelled from the car, and her agitation was apparent in her tone. “She’s never been late for a single class, so you can imagine blowing off an entire day doesn’t really qualify as a bucket list item for Mandy.”
“She’s right,” I said, nodding. “I can’t skip school.”
It didn’t matter how much I’d gotten swept away by the idea of getting closer to Gabe, I knew better. Making a move like that would be wrong and irresponsible, and that’s just not who I was. There was a reason for Rule #6: Be accountable. Never blow off your responsibilities. It was, yet again, the only way I could prove myself to everyone; I had to ensure that everyone could trust me. My word meant something.
But Gabe didn’t seem to understand. His eyes widened as his mouth gaped open a little further. Seemingly lost for words, he just stood there and stared at me, looking almost as disoriented as he had when I’d first run into him on Saturday.
“Okay,” he finally said, nodding slowly. “Go to school.”
“Gabe, I’m sorry, but you have to understand—”
“No. Don’t apologize,” he said, shrugging. “Maybe some other time.”
“But—”
“I don’t want to argue with you, Mandy,” he said quietly. “Please, go to school. Do what you have to do.”
I couldn’t think of anything else to say, so I simply took another step forward and reached for my purse. He seemed to hold it a little tighter as I reached for it, but he didn’t put up a fight when it was time for him to let go. I didn’t know what else to do, so I just nodded and turned back to the car. I dipped down into my seat, buckled my seat belt, and waved once before pulling my door shut again.
Bailey waited until that moment to turn on the flashing hazard lights.
“What are you—?”
“What are you doing, Mandy?” she asked, turning to me. She reached over and unbuckled my seatbelt. “Get out of this car.”
“What?”
“Get out of this car and go spend the day with him,” she said, leaning across me to try and open my door.
“Stop that!”
“Are you out of your mind?” she asked, sitting straight again. “That guy just jumped into the middle of the street for you, asked you to spend the day with him, and you’re not even going to entertain the idea for one second?”
“We have school!”
“Who the hell cares?” she asked. “Mandy, the guy likes you! What in God’s name does he have to do to make you see that? Do you need him to jump up and down, wave little flags, proclaim his undying love for you? What? What’s it going to take? He’s not asking you to marry him. He’s asking you for one day. That’s all he wants.”
“But school—”
“Screw school! Just do it!”
And as she said those words, I turned back and caught the faintest, solemn expression cross Gabe’s face as he watched us, trying to muster a smile. Again, he was trying to pretend that he wasn’t hurt by my rejection, but he didn’t hide it well. I closed my eyes, remembering the one thing he’d asked me to do: break a rule. But if I went with him today, if I got out of the car, shut the door, and walked over to him…if I agreed to spend the day with him, then I’d risk breaking a whole lot more than one rule.
I opened my eyes and stared back at him. Gabe. Standing there, standing there on the sidewalk, waiting for me. Was I crazy? What was I thinking? Bailey was right. He liked me, so what was I waiting for? If there was ever someone worth breaking a rule for, I knew it was him.
I clutched my purse and nodded, finally reaching over to open my door once again.
“Thank God,” I heard my sister mumble before I shut the door. She flipped off the hazard lights, put the car into drive, and took off before I had time to turn around and wave. Standing there alone in the street, looking at Gabe looking at me, I felt my chest swell as my heart pounded faster and faster. I didn’t know what in the world I was doing, but whatever it was, it felt amazing.
The faintest smirk tugged at his lip, and he blinked a few times too many, looking genuinely surprised by my decision to come back. As I kept trying to catch my breath, he held his hand out as if to ask me to join him on the sidewalk.
Still clutching my purse between my arm and my side, I took a few slow steps forward. When I reached the sidewalk and stepped up to his level, I stared at Gabe’s outstretched hand for a moment, and I knew that he was waiting for me to take it.
I didn’t move, though. I just stood there, stunned and silent, staring at him, so he nodded slowly.
“Okay. One small step at a time,” he said, taking a step closer to me. I almost thought that he’d reach down and take my hand, threading our fingers together. I kept waiting for him to, but he never did. True to his nature, Gabe respected my boundaries.
“So, what’s on the agenda for the day?” I tried to keep my nerves from getting the best of me, but I could hear the rattle in my voice.
Even through my nerves, I had to ask because I couldn’t help but wonder what in the world he had planned. I didn’t know that he’d planned anything, but I assumed that he must’ve been up to something if he cared enough to go through all the trouble of getting me to skip school.
He didn’t answer me. It was almost as if he wasn’t even aware of the fact that I’d just asked him a question. He was looking right at me, but his mind was elsewhere.
“Gabe?”
“Hmm?”
“What’s the plan?”
“Oh.” He nodded in the direction of the park. “I’ve got to get my car.”
“Okay?”
“And then we’re going to school.”
Twelve
As we drove down Highway 6 and farther away from the park, I was at a complete loss as to why Gabe had gone through the trouble of asking me to play hooky, only to turn around and tell me that he was taking me to school. It didn’t make a bit of sense. As we approached the filled parking lot at Sugar Creek High School, Gabe didn’t bother slowing down or even looking in the direction of the building. He kept his hands at ten and two, and his eyes fixed straight forward on the road.
“Gabe?”
“Hmm?”
“You passed the—”
“I know,” he said, and he didn’t take his eyes off the highway.
Twenty minutes later, we crossed over the Desden city limit line, and it finally occurred to me where Gabe and I were headed. Just outside the city, he turned down University Boulevard, and the majestic brick buildings of the DU campus came into view. We weaved in and out of the winding brick streets, making our way deep into the heart of the school grounds.
He pulled into the campus parking garage just next to the football stadium, killed the engine, and then turned to me with a quirked brow. Still curious about his motives, I turned to ask him, “What are we doing here?”
“Celebrating,” he said, taking no time at all to slide out of his seat belt and out of the car. He came around to my side, opened the door, and offered me a hand out.
“And what exactly are we celebrating?”
“Your acceptance, of course,” he said. “I assume you’ve already taken a tour?”
“Virtually.”
“You mean—”
“Only online,” I said. “I couldn’t get up here without Dad asking questions.”
“So then today’s your day,” he said. “Let’s tackle the campus, see the sights. We’ll do whatever you’d like. You name it.”
We left the garage and crossed the boulevard, landing us directly in the student square. Gabe didn’t waste a second to lead me to the top of the highest, grassy hill, and the steep hike was a rough one. He tackled it—limp and all—a lot faster than I did. He spent more time waiting on me to keep up than anything else.
Once we finally reached the top, Gabe kept walking until the ground leveled out.
“Did you know that you can see everything from this spot?” he asked, positioning himself in the dead center of the hilltop. We were truly at the tip of the tallest hill, the place that was designed to overlook the entire school. “You can see it all. The entire campus, everything. No matter which way you turn.”
I imagined he was right, but I didn’t bother turning to look at all of the buildings. I’d seen the pictures online. I already knew that they were each very unique in their own special way. I knew that if I turned, I’d see the dining hall, the rec complex, and the dormitories. I’d studied the maps, too. I knew exactly where each building was. If I turned, I’d see hundreds of students walking from building to building, some moving a little more hurriedly than the others. If I turned, I’d see all those things. But if I didn’t, then I’d just be looking at Gabe, and that seemed more intriguing than observing a bunch of architecture and strangers.
So I just kept staring.
“You call the shots, Mandy. What do you want to do? Where do you want to go?” Gabe asked, and then he finally tore his gaze away from the view to look back to me.
He bounced back a step, surprised to find that my stare was still fixed on him and not on the campus view in front of us. As we watched one another, his breathing became shallower, and his fingers fidgeted at h
is side. His blinking became a little more frequent, his posture a little less perfect, and his general presence took on a very unsettled quality. He was keenly aware of the fact that I was watching him, studying every one of his subtle movements. It made him nervous, and it was the first time I’d ever really seen him let his guard down.
“You okay?” he asked, trying to find his voice. He cleared his throat and shook his head, finally breaking our eye contact once and for all. “Is something wrong?”
“Nope. I’m great,” I said, finding solace in the fact that Gabe had the same human capabilities of getting nervous and flustered, too… and I kind of liked that it was because of me.
When we finally hiked down the hill, we spent the better part of the morning just walking the paths that circled the campus. Gabe asked me to stop off outside the performing arts center to take a picture of him posing next to a life-size statue, his arm wrapped around the shoulders of some guy who must’ve been really important on campus at some point. While I didn’t understand why he thought it was funny, he said that the picture was for Lashell, and she’d get it a kick out of it, so I went along with it and captured the shot on his cell phone.
We had a quick lunch in the dining hall amongst the registered students, and then we stopped off at the bookstore to buy a bunch of university gear. Gabe swapped his beloved ball cap for a new one, a gray one sporting a bold, white DU on the front. He talked me into buying one, too, but I knew that I wouldn’t look half as good in mine as he looked in his. By the time we left, I bought two new shirts, a hat, and a ton of school supplies (that I didn’t need)—all stamped with the Desden U logo.
The day passed far too quickly for my liking. But I’d gotten to spend each moment with him, so I couldn’t find room to complain. It gave new meaning to the phrase time passes when you’re having fun, and it was the first time I’d ever experienced that unfortunate truth.
Breaking Rules Page 13