Embrace the Moment

by Andrea Michelle

  “I missed you.” He puts his hand around my back, pulling me closer to him—our skin now touching. He looks down at me, and his dimpled grin is about to be my undoing.

  “You just saw me. You miss me already?” I ask jokingly.

  He gives me an Eskimo kiss. “I always miss you, baby.”

  He gave me a noozle? It’s so cute. I let my hands do what they’ve wanted to since I laid my eyes on him moments ago. I glide them up his chest and intake a breath at how perfect he feels. I wrap them around his neck and tangle them into his hair like always, and now he inhales. We are taking turns in breathing the same air—our breaths dancing sinfully between us. He ever so slowly lowers his mouth to mine, and when our lips meet it elicits a moan from my chest. It doesn’t matter how many times we kiss. It’s always like the first time. It always moves me to lose my balance and forget everything else but his lips on mine. He lifts me up effortlessly and my legs naturally wrap around his waist like they belong there. I let my head fall back as he licks and kisses down my neck and chest.

  “Ah, Josh,” my voice is a hushed whisper. I move my mouth back to his, and our kiss is no longer sweet and soft. It’s rough and fast as though neither of us can get enough of the others taste—needing to taste more—just a little more. I don’t even know he is walking until I feel him lower me back onto the grass by our tree. Our legs are tangled, our bodies moving against each other—our hands gliding along each other exploring the others skin. Something about him without a shirt makes me want to do anything and everything he ever asks of me. I can’t help but lose myself in the moment.

  “I love the way you feel, and God...you’re sexy, Riley,” he says between kisses. He reaches into my pants and begins touching me. I’m slowly coming undone, and then he stops. I whimper in protest making him laugh. He rolls to his back and sighs heavily in his chest.

  “Why did you stop?” I ask him breathlessly. He turns his head to mine and smirks.

  “Because, baby I need to, before I can’t.”

  “Maybe I don’t want you to stop, Josh. Maybe I—,”

  He rolls back over and grabs my face kissing me fiercely again. He pulls back and pecks my forehead. “Shhh...I know what you need, baby, and it’s not here by a tree.”

  I sigh, “Fine. Now I’m hot and bothered.”

  He laughs as he sits up and reaches for my hand. “C’mon, let’s go cool off.”

  I look at him confused but still place my hand in his. “Where are we going?” I ask.

  “To the lake,” he deadpans.

  When we get to the lake, his smile is gone. His playful nature becomes unreadable. “Riley, you know I love you more than anything, right?” Everything in the way his face is serious, and the statement he just made makes me uncomfortable. I don’t answer him with words but with a nod of my head.

  “Tonight, I just want us to feel…not talk about everything. Okay?” He speaks into my hair as he pulls me close to him. My heart breaks a little.

  “Now, get undressed,” he demands out of the blue.

  “What?” I shout, shocked. What the hell? He is all over the place. He just said—and now he wants me to get undressed?

  “We’re gonna skinny dip. It’s a first for us both. We’re both hot and bothered. Let’s cool off,” he says, grinning at me. I’m looking back and forth from the lake to him in contemplation.

  “Um, Josh? I don’t think getting naked is going to help us not be hot and bothered. Right?” I’m pretty sure we are just digging a deeper hole of temptation to climb in.

  He doesn’t answer. He just turns his back to me and begins to take his shoes off, and then he lowers his shorts and boxers in one fell swoop gracing me with his ass.

  Holy Shit! Oh, my God.

  He is naked.

  Outside.

  And he wants me to do the same.

  That ass, though.

  Oh, damn.

  He doesn’t turn around. He dives in the water from the pier, and it splashes. Oh, my gosh, he is obviously serious. “What if someone sees us? We could get into so much trouble!” I shout over to him.

  “We’re good, baby. Now, c’mon. I’m going to turn around. I won’t peek. Promise.” He does turn around, and I watch him constantly as I undress until I bend down to remove my socks. I can’t believe we are doing this. I’m naked—outside.

  I jump in and tread over to him grinning like an idiot. “Did you peek?”

  He laughs and says, “Maybe.”

  I splash him making him laugh harder.

  Jerk.

  CHAPTER 16

  Beautiful and tempting. She is quickly becoming my obsession. I don’t want to think about how anything may change, or about what we should and shouldn’t do. I just want to feel. Fuck the rest.

  After we chase each other, laughing and splashing over and over again, we both swim to the spot under the dock where we can both touch without treading water. Rocks line the bottom and the walls around this hidden nook. Riley and I have come under here many times before during the summer, but never has it felt like this—intimate and private. No one can see us here at all.

  I have her pressed completely against my chest and the edge of the rocks. Her skin on my skin is about to damn near kill any restraint I have left. She has one leg wrapped around my waist, and if I moved just an inch to the left I could slip right in and we could move together, but I don’t do that. I just run my hand up and down her thigh and around her ass and taste her lips. She moans and begins to writhe against me.

  I pull away, and it’s not because I don’t want to do this with her. I know she keeps hinting at taking this last step together. I just don’t want to and then leave her, and have her hate me. I also don’t want her to hate me and walk away never having had her. I’m conflicted. I want to do the right thing. Tonight was about just feeling. I want to feel every inch of her.

  I hadn’t planned on literally running into her tonight. I planned on going over to her house and talking things out, but there she was looking the way she did, and looking at me the way she did. Now, here we are pressed against each other in the warmth of the lake.

  “Josh, look at me,” she says turning my eyes back to hers. I listen and meet her eyes. I know she sees my struggle, and she doesn’t understand it. She doesn’t know why I’m holding back. I can sense the difference in her breathing. I can sense the change in her when we touch. She isn’t holding back. She told me tonight she wants me. She is urging me to go further, and I’m stuck between what is right and what is wrong without the faintest clue as to which is which.

  “What are you thinking about?” She reaches up to smooth my frown line.

  “Stuff,” I repeat her answer from earlier.

  She nods and looks away sighing, “You said no thinking, just feeling—remember?”

  “I know. I’m sorry.” I say as I rest my head against her forehead and sigh. I can’t do this. She is in my veins. She is in my bloodstream—a necessary piece for me to breath every day. I need to feel her daily—to see her daily. And I’m torn in shreds.

  “So, stop thinking about what comes next. We’re here in this moment...now,” she says touching my face.

  “Baby, God... I’m so sorry,” I whisper against her lips. I feel her chest rise and fall. I feel her body become limp beneath me, and then she begins to breathe fast and shake.

  “Stop, please. I can’t hear it. It hurts. Please,” she begs and begins to cry. Damn it all to hell. Fuck my life. Fuck it all.

  I pull her to my chest and hold her. I lift my eyes to hers and squeeze her cheeks, rubbing my thumbs underneath her eyes to catch her tears. “I love you, so much. We will figure this out –just like we always do,” I say.

  She nods, wraps her hands around my neck, her legs around my waist and presses her lips against mine.

  Our kiss is slow, meaningful as her hands tangle in my hair and my hands glide along her back.

  Her head falls back as I trail kisses down her neck. Our eyes meet, and the deci
sion is there for us both.

  “Just feeling?”

  “Just feeling,” she whispers and nods her head. She bites her lip as she pushes up on my shoulders to line us up, and then she slides down, and everything beautiful happens.

  Fuck! She feels perfect—better than I ever imagined. It’s slow, and she winces just a little, so I freeze. I don’t want to hurt her. I’ve heard that can happen with your first time, but then she grabs my face and begins to move, coaxing me to continue.

  “Show me, Josh. Make love to me.” She arches her back, pushing me deeper.

  “Fuck, baby.” I growl as I push her back gently against the rocks. I hold her up with one of my hands as the other feels her perfect breast in my palm.

  “This isn’t how I wanted to do this. This isn’t making love, Riley. This is fucking. I wanted to take my time, to feel every inch of you shiver, but I can’t think straight. I picture you like this—naked all the time. I feel you around my fingers at night. The sounds you make, I hear them in my sleep.” I say as I begin to thrust deeper—faster—harder.

  “Oh, god, Josh. I picture you, too. The way you feel—the way you make me feel. The way you look at me, touch me, and kiss me—it drives me crazy. I need this—to feel this. You are perfect. It’s like we fit perfectly together.”

  I swivel my hips, and she moans loudly. Her body begins to tremble, her breaths causing her breast to peek in and out of the water. I’m not going to last much longer.

  She rolls her hips into me, and I must hit a spot because she squeezes my shoulders and whimpers my name. I’m ruined. She has ruined me. We have to figure out a way to make this work because I won’t be the same after her.

  I look her right in the eyes as we both embrace this moment. Together.

  “I’m freezing now,” she says as we walk back to our houses with our clothes back on and our hair wet.

  “I’d be a gentlemen and give you my jacket, but I’m a tad underdressed myself.” I explain putting my arm around her and trying to warm her with a hug.

  “So, I guess we can’t go steady, huh?”

  I raise my brow and look at her. She shrugs, “Sorry, that was corny.”

  I laugh at her, “You’re cute.”

  When we get back to her house, she kisses my lips and for the first time I feel a sense of peace. Maybe we can do this. Maybe we will be just fine. I grip her chin, “Hey, you saved my heart, too, you know?” I point to where the ink is smeared on my chest.

  She leans forward and presses a kiss to the spot on my chest. “This heart is beautiful and will always be mine.”

  “You will always be mine.” I tell her, rubbing my thumb along her bottom lip, and then we are at it again—kissing and making love to each other’s mouths.

  CHAPTER 17

  Marked and changed. Sex is something peculiar. It’s like the act of it is something we are wired to know how to do. Because when we first started it—it hurt, but then something happened—it began to feel good. Even inexperienced, our bodies knew what to do, knew how to move together—to bind us forever. Something primal took over, something necessary and now I want more of it—more of him.

  I woke up this morning feeling the effects of my exertion last night. Not just the loss of my virginity but the running that I never do. My body is sore and reminding me of it. Oh, my God. Josh and I had sex. It wasn’t how I imagined it would be, or in a bed, but yet it was intimate and passionate. At least, it wasn’t in the back seat of his truck, or in the grass by a tree. Wow! We did it. I smile as I curl up remembering the way he felt inside of me. At first, it was painful, but then it’s like my body took over and knew just what to do to turn the pain into pleasure. Josh is blessed—very blessed!

  I’m not sure what I thought I would feel after. Part of me wondered if I would feel guilty or less innocent, but I don’t. I just feel happy, and like for the first time, I made a decision in the moment that was right for me—right for us. We needed each other. We needed to be connected in all ways, and now we are. I wonder how he feels. I wonder if he feels the same way as I do, or if he is regretting what we did.

  I continue to wonder as I pack my suitcase for the weekend in San Antonio for Beau’s wedding. Em will be here in an hour to pick me up, and we are supposed to meet Josh and Collin for breakfast, but plans may have changed since Em went and did the unthinkable with Collin—can’t change too much since we are riding together anyways. She will have to get over it.

  I need a shower to relax my muscles, and then I need to bring Tink to Josh’s, Joey is going to kitty sit for me. I undress and stretch as the steam fills the bathroom. I hop in the shower and the second the stream hits my back, I intake a seething breath. “Ow!” I squeal jumping out of the shower to look at why my back is burning in the mirror.

  “OH, MY GOD!” I breathe, looking at the slight bruising and abrasions that colored up my back. I never even felt that when Josh had me pushed against the rocks last night. I was just so lost in the depths of his eyes, in the feelings of him moving, the emotions that were pouring out of me as he took me somewhere beautiful. He started slow and sweet—gentle, but as our emotions became more tangled, more intense—so did what we were doing. It wasn’t just making love anymore, it became desperation to claim the other, the need to crawl inside and possess them. It became raw, passionate fucking against the rocks. Our bodies knew how, magically—knew exactly what we craved, what the other desired.

  My shock slowly becomes...a smile. He marked me. Something about seeing it there makes me feel beautiful.

  I carefully shower and wrap a towel around my body. I brush the mess that is my hair and run some curl lotion through the many layers of it. I leave to get dressed, but the doorbell rings, so I take the detour down the hall to let Em in.

  “Hey, bitch,” she greets me with her pleasantries.

  “Hey, ginger.”

  She frowns, “Stop calling me that.”

  I grin as we walk back to my room, careful to not expose my marked back to her. “Why? You call me bitch.” I whine in good humor.

  She places her hands on her hips, “Well, you are my bitch.”

  “And, you are my ginger,” I retort.

  She huffs and walks off. We will never get anywhere because she will always hate her hair and will always be my ginger and well, I am a bitch.

  “Oh, my God. Are you ready to spend the weekend with, Josh? Y’all are so going to do the nasty.” She grins like an idiot, and I tense. I’m not going to tell her that we already did. It’s private—for just us.

  I shrug like it’s no big deal. “Maybe, but I’m sharing a room with you, and he’s sharing a room with Collin. That could be an issue of privacy. That is unless you want a repeat with Collin.” I state with a lifted brow. We haven’t discussed her spur of the moment decision in all that much detail just yet.

  Her eyes flick to mine as she tenses. Hmmm...Interesting. “I uh...we um would obviously let y’all have privacy, Riley.” She says, looking away almost immediately. She isn’t telling me something.

  “So, you know I’m going to examine your suitcase. I need to make sure you are bringing the correct necessities.” She unzips my small suitcase, clicking her tongue as she throws it all over my bed.

  “Hey, I had that all organized neatly,” I complain.

  “I’ve got you a gift in my car. I’ll be right back.” She ignores my complaint.

  I tilt my head, “A gift? What for?”

  “Um, just consider it an additional birthday present,” she tosses over her shoulder as she walks out the door.

  I take the moment that she is outside to dress quickly. If she sees my back, she will want to know what happened. I don’t want to share that moment with anyone other than Josh. Just as I slip on all my clothing, which is nothing more than an Aero t-shirt and my frayed jean shorts, my phone pings.

  Josh: MORNIN PRETTY GIRL

  It makes me smile. I reply immediately.

  Me: HEY x

  Josh: HOW DO YOU FE
EL?

  How do I feel? My legs feel sore, my back burns, and everything else just feels... WARM.

  Me: LIKE I HAD THE BEST NIGHT EVER

  His text isn’t right away, and it makes me nervous. Maybe he does regret it. Maybe it was amazing to me, but not so much for him. Maybe’s fill my head but then he texts me back.

  Josh: BEST EVER. NO REGRETS?

  Me: NOT EVEN THE SLIGHTEST. YOU?

  Josh: NEVER. JUST WISH I HAD BEEN GENTLER AND TAKEN MY TIME

  My heart melts. We couldn’t do gentle—not last night.

  Me: WE HAVE NEXT TIME ;)

  Josh: IN A BED WHILE I TASTE EVERY INCH OF YOUR SWEETNESS

  Geez. Just his words have my belly coiling deliciously, and the spot between my legs aching.

  “Why are you are smiling like that? And your cheeks are all rosy,” Em inquires as she comes back into my room.

  I climb up on my bed atop the clothing that was once organized neatly in my suitcase. “It’s nothing.” She hands me a pink bag. Victoria’s Secret? My eyes dart to hers with question, and she shrugs. Really? I reach into the bag and find not one, but two sets of lingerie—one is black silk and lace—very exotic, the other more delicate—soft pink. I like the soft pink one best, which is odd for me because I love black anything. The demi bra is gorgeous, soft pink cups with intricate lace detail in the center and lace around the back. The panties are pink with lace detail—a dainty yellow bow in the center. It’s beautiful.

  “Okay, Em, I have a few thoughts here. One, I love matching bras and panties...so, thanks. Two, why did you buy me matching bras and panties?” I ask, tossing them back into the bag.

  She reaches over pulling them out of the bag and placing them into my suitcase. “Well, duh. They are ammo.”

  She explains further when it’s obvious I don’t understand. “For Josh? You dress sexy for him, and it leads to sex. Ohmigawd you’re such an innocent.” She laughs, and I cringe.