“I know right. It’s distracting.” It really is. Collin and I had to be at the wedding early so I didn’t know what she would look like until she made an appearance with Emily, and man did she ever make an appearance.
She’s dressed in a dark teal silk blouse that make her eyes pop in color, a black short skirt with a slit at her thigh and these silver strappy high heels that make her look tall. Her legs are to die for right now. I can picture them around my waist as I hike up that skirt and press her into the wall, or better yet around my neck, as I taste her for the first time.
Holy shit! My images of Riley are getting perverted, and now I’m hard in a church full of people. This is bad—so, so bad. I bite my lip to the point of pain, as I taste the metallic bitterness of blood. I have to look away from her, but it’s like I’m trapped in some wicked spell. She has this pull on me.
“Quit picturing sex at my wedding. That is inappropriate,” Beau says laughing.
“I wasn’t—okay I was, but damn dude I can’t help it.” I laugh with him, and that’s all it needs to break the hypnosis that has come over me.
I meet Riley’s eyes and wink. She says something to Emily and blushes. Something tells me I’m not the only one thinking about sex right now. I wish this wedding were over with already. I need time alone with her—a lot, a lot of time.
I turn to look at Collin and catch him completely undressing Emily with his eyes. I’ve never seen this side of him. I think he actually has it bad for this girl. “Hey?”
“Hmmm,” he doesn’t look in my direction.
“Thanks for the whole room switch. I’m pretty sure it’s to your benefit, too, right? Emily and you seem to um, like each other?” It comes out as a question because I’m not sure if they like each other, or if this is just a casual thing, but he nods his head, nonetheless.
“What? You and Emily have a room together?” Brandt asks with a tone that is not happy. Oh shit! I completely forgot he and Emily liked each other? Had a casual thing? What the fuck? I don’t know.
Collin glances to Brandt and shrugs, “Yeah, what about it?” Collin doesn’t know they are, or were, together. I never actually heard them ever confirm being a thing or not being a thing.
Brandt turns his eyes to Emily’s direction as do the rest of us guys. She freezes and shuffles her eyes between us looking at her. Then she turns to Riley and says something in her ear. Riley’s eyes widen, and she darts her face to Emily’s and begins to speak animatedly with her hands. Emily nods, shakes her head and then puts it down. Riley turns her head to meet our eyes and frowns. Hmmm...this may not be so good, after all.
Collin sees the whole interaction with the girls and turns to look at Brandt. “You seem pissed about this. Do y’all have something going on between the two of you?”
Brandt looks to Emily briefly before he smirks. “Did. But that’s over now. So, you two, huh? Good for you. She’s a fun girl.”
Collin doesn’t reply right away. His jaw tightens and he swallows hard. The implications in Brandt’s words were there. Finally, he speaks. “We’re not really a thing, but thanks.” He turns around, avoiding Emily’s stare.
This should be interesting.
CHAPTER 19
Kissing I think is my new favorite hobby. I’ve noticed lately how I haven’t been writing as much. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m so distracted by Josh, or because I’m finally breaking free from the darkness some, or that I find kissing much more cathartic. What I do know is that I love Josh’s lips pressed against mine—they are so soft. It’s always like the first time, like he is savoring me. I might need to write about that. An entire poem dedicated to Josh and the many ways he kisses me.
Before the wedding, there was a lot of chatter about who would room with whom. Granted, the original agreement was girls together, boys together. But since I want a night alone with Josh, and Collin and Emily seem to be comfortable with whatever it is they are doing, the plans have been changed. However, Em and I got ready in our room alone, and the guys got ready in their room, because they had to be there early, Collin actually left the keys to Violet for Em to drive us. Just that act alone made me think he likes her. I had no idea what Josh would look like, but just...hot damn. He is ridiculously sinful looking right now.
In all my life, I don’t think I’ve ever felt so happy and yet so scared. It didn’t happen for us easily, and we had to work really hard to get where we are, and there are still a lot of things that can go wrong for us, but right now we are here. I can’t picture ever being apart, and yet I know it’s going to happen. It’s going to be so hard to be apart. Not having his lips to kiss every day or whenever I want to, or feeling his arms around me all the time, or having his eyes look at me the way they are right now.
I’m going to miss him so much. I have an ache in my chest where my heart is, just thinking about our future. College and all its complications, adding more shit to the overloaded baggage we already carry—a total bitch.
“Holy shit, Riley. Your boyfriend looks pretty damn edible in a suit and tie.” Em says, staring at Josh with the other groomsmen. Then she clears her throat, “And um, Collin, Beau and Brandt look really, really nice too.”
Oh my God. It’s just dawned on me that she has slept with the groom and all of the groomsmen, all except Josh. “Holy shit, Em. You’ve had sex with the groom and all of the groomsmen, except for the edible one in the suit and tie.” I whisper the words to her hoping no one hears me.
She puts her head down and turns it to me. “This is weird, right? Like all kinds of inappropriate weirdness.”
I can’t help but think she is right. It’s super strange that Beau invited his ex-girlfriend to his wedding. But I can only assume he did it for me, or because Em is or was dating Brandt, or perhaps it’s because we were all friends before she started hooking up with them. Whatever the reason, I’m thankful. I love having her around. This weekend wouldn’t be the same otherwise.
“Kinda for you, yeah.” I look up at Josh and the guys. Collin is staring right at Emily and Josh’s eyes meet mine. I hold his gaze and something in his eyes draws me in. His eyes are smoldering hot, and I squirm in my seat. He must notice because he winks at me. He winks at me, and I think I’d do anything he asked me to do right now.
I turn to Emily. “You are so right, though. I just want to take that suit off of him slowly, and wrap that tie around his neck, and use it to pull his nakedness on top of me as I wear some lacy piece of Victoria’s Secrets that my favorite person in the world bought for me.” I say with all seriousness low enough for only her ears to hear. I’ve been picturing Josh in all kinds of scenarios lately.
“You shameless slut. You so want to hump his leg right now.” She laughs. “I can almost feel your ladyboner from here.”
I glare at her, “Shut up. I’m not shameless, and it’s not his leg I want to hump.” We both crack up laughing making people stare at us.
I lean forward to the people in front of us, “Sorry, sorry. My friend here accidentally let one slip.” I cup my mouth, “Silently. If you know what I mean.” I laugh as they scrunch their noses at us.
“That was ridiculously mean, Riley Marie Shaw.” She glares at me.
“My middle name is not Marie,” I state still chuckling.
“What the hell ever.” She rolls her eyes and turns away from me.
I turn her head and kiss her cheek leaving bright red lips on them. “You love me. That was funny, and you know it.”
“You’re so stupid, Riley. I think hitting your head has made you a little nuts,” she says giggling at me.
Next thing I know, we aren’t laughing anymore, because Emily freezes when she notices all the guys except for Beau staring at her. I’m looking at them when she leans over to whisper in my ear. “I have a problem. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be at this wedding with Brandt or not.”
I dart my head to hers. “What?”
She sighs. “We haven’t talked about it. He never asked me, but h
e looks really pissed right now. You think Collin may have said something about us?”
“Emily, do you like Collin?” She nods her head. “Do you want to be here with Brandt?” She shakes her head, no. “Are you still hooking up with Brandt?” She puts her head down. Oh man. This is bad. This could be bad.
I turn to look at the guys and frown. Well, shit.
The bridal march begins to play, and we all stand. When the bride walks down the aisle, I feel Josh staring, so I meet his eyes. His smile is soft and content. I wonder what he is thinking right now. I hope we are those two people one day. I am fidgeting where I stand because the way he is looking at me with heated eyes makes me feel warm. I want to push the bride out of the way and run to him. I want to kiss him senseless and then say I do.
Wait! What?
“Can I have this dance?” he asks, holding his hand out in front of him.
I smile and hesitate. “I don’t know if my boyfriend would appreciate me dancing with someone as handsome as you.”
He smirks and tilts his head to the side adorably. “I think your boyfriend was a fool to leave you sitting here by yourself. You are breathtaking. I just might have to sweep you off your feet and keep you forever.” He bends and cups my chin, “Now that dance?”
I place my hand in his and let him pull me to the dance floor.
Josh’s hand is around the small of my back, and my hands are around his neck tangling into his hair. “You look so beautiful, Riley. I really love those heels.”
I smile up at him and glide my hands down to his tie that has been tempting me all night. I grab it and tug a little. “I really like this tie.”
He smirks, “Yeah?”
I bite my lip, “Yeah.”
And then he pulls me close to his chest and whispers in my ear, “You’re killing me.” He kisses my hair, and we slow dance together well past the time of the song ending.
A guy walks up to Josh and says, “You ready?” He nods and kisses my cheek.
“It’s my turn,” he says.
“Turn for what?”
“Bride and groom dance,” he says.
Clearly I’m confused. “Okay, then how is it your turn again?”
He laughs, touches his finger to my nose. “Just listen, okay…every word…hear them.” He presses his lips to mine, pausing there for a beat, and then walks off.
What?
I make my way to our table finding it empty. I look around, scanning the crowd, but I don’t see Emily or Collin.
All of a sudden, Josh’s voice booms over the sound system. “Hey, y’all. I’m Joshua Parker…good friend to that man over there.” He points to Beau standing with his arm around his bride. “He asked me to sing for y’all as he dances with his lovely wife. I told him I had no idea what a wedding song would be, and he said to pick something that explains love. That didn’t help me much.” Josh locks eyes with me, and people are laughing. “But I heard this song and realized that these words mean something to me. So, to Beau and Jess, here’s to giving your all to each other, and may y’all have a lifetime of lovemaking.” Hoots and hollers erupt, and Josh picks up his guitar and starts strumming the chords to All of Me by John Legend.
Every word moves me. He’s so beautiful—his voice—the way he shuts his eyes when he gets emotional—the way he stares into mine when he wants me to hear him. There is no doubt in my mind that he is singing this song to me. I just want to scream it, that I give all of me to him, too—that every piece of me belongs to him and will always belong to him.
“Thank you,” he says, placing his guitar down and walking over to me. He stands right in front of me sitting at the table. My eyes slowly meet his as I stand to look up to him.
“That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard,” I tell him.
He grins adorably and then gets serious. “I meant every word. My cards are on the table. I’m willing to risk it all to have forever with you, Riley. I want this with you someday. You and me…like that.” He points to Beau and Jess dancing.
I nod and wipe a tear that falls from my eyes. “I do, too. I want forever with you.” I reach up and wrap my hands around his neck and hug him tightly.
After we throw the birdseed, we’re all standing in the parking lot together saying our goodbyes to guests we don’t really know.
Josh and I are standing next to Collin’s car, and we find our lips attached again, they seem to have minds of their own. Emily honks the horn causing us both to jump. “Shit, Emily. What the hell?” I shout into the car at her. Collin’s still inside. We have no idea why.
“Let’s go. Make out later. Please. Go get Collin or something.” Something in her tone and something in her eyes lets me know my best friend is not feeling herself. So I peck Josh’s lips one last time and tell him to go find Collin. She hops out so I can climb in, and I can tell she is on the verge of crying.
“Everything okay, Em?” I ask concerned.
She looks at me with tears brimming in her eyes. “I hate guys, Riley. I just assumed that Brandt would want me here, ya know, even if we didn’t talk about it, even it were just as friends. I just thought maybe he would, but he was so cold to me.” She swipes a tear that falls and looks at me. “He barely looked in my direction, Riley. I tried to talk to him, and he told me to knock it off. He said I was fun, but that he was done playing games with me. I mean what the hell does that mean, anyway? I never played games. He never called me unless he wanted to fuck. And he never took me out on dates. I mean is that what he considers fun?” She says, in one giant breath.
I lean over the console to give her a hug, “Brandt’s loss, Em. You’re an amazing person. Besides, I thought you liked Collin.” She tenses and pushes me away.
I look at her, but she can’t meet my eyes. She looks out the window at Josh and Collin talking a few feet from us. “What is it? Why do you look like you’re about to throw up? Please don’t throw up in his car. He will kill you for sure.”
She sighs and looks everywhere but at me, “I’m not going to throw up, Riley. Geez—melodramatic much.” She apologizes and then says, “I did something stupid, Riley. I’m sure I’m going to hell now, because you aren’t supposed to do what I did before marriage and definitely not in a church utility closet.”
“What?”
She shakes her head and glances back out the window and then back at me. “I hooked up with Collin...again. It’s official. I am a whore.” She puts her hand over her mouth and chokes back a sob. “Oh, my God. Something is wrong with me, Riley. I don’t even like Collin like that. I don’t think I do. I mean he bangs every easy chick at school, and that disgust me. Look at this for fucks sake.” She flicks the handcuffs hanging from his rear view mirror. “He’s as much of a slut as me. We could never work. I just...God, I’m so stupid, Riley. I’m one of those easy chicks aren’t I?” And the sob comes. She is leaning over in her seat bawling her eyes out into her hands, and I have no words to say to her. I just rub her back and look out the window noticing Josh glance back at the car, too.
Wow! I have no idea what to say to this. She is a free spirit and doesn’t follow any rules. “Em, it’s okay. I mean you can’t change it. No one thinks you’re one of those easy chicks. Stop talking about yourself like that.”
I glance back out the window. I see Josh coming back towards the car with Collin following behind him. They both glance at Emily, who is steadily wiping away tears from her eyes. I know right away Collin just had this same heart to heart with his best friend.
Collin taps on the window where Emily is sitting in tears. She rolls it down as Josh climbs in from the opposite side. “Hey, can I talk to you for a second?” he asks her.
She nods and climbs out of the car. They walk off together. I notice he interlaces his fingers with hers as they walk. She doesn’t pull away. If anything she leans closer into him. I don’t care what she says. She likes him, and I think he may just like her, too.
So, we’re in the back seat of Collin’s very sexy car—al
one now, and Josh begins kissing my neck and gliding his hand up my bare legs. “Joshua Parker, what are you doing?”
“Being bad,” he breathes into my ear. “Something about you and skirts or dresses.” He’s coaxing my legs open and pushing his hand further up my leg and under my skirt. I glance around the windows and see we’re pretty secluded, so I let him. I let him take me back to the place that make the stars shine so fucking brightly. He doesn’t kiss me this time. He watches me as I come undone. He watches the way I respond to him. He just watches me under hooded eyes, and I realize I will never, ever have enough of him. I definitely didn’t get enough of him this time, because Collin and Em come back to the car and unknowingly break our wicked spell.
I lean over to whisper in his ear, “Behave,” and he just smirks. The ride back to the hotel is quiet. Emily sniffles a few times, and I notice Collin glance at her with concerned eyes. There is something different in how he looks at her right now.
We’re in the elevator on the way up to our room, and I give a questioning look to Emily. I’m worried about her. But she nods her head and smiles at me. It’s a small gesture that lets me know she is okay. She looks up at Collin, and he stares down at her. I notice the brief moment his chest picks up pace in his breathing. His eyes are soft, and he begins to pull his tongue piercing through his teeth. I see movement by their hands and my eyes track downward to see him interlace his fingers with hers. She looks back to me grinning like a lovesick puppy. I can’t help but return her grin.
The ding alerts us of our floor, and we as couples, walk to our rooms, which are across from the other. I hug Emily and Josh and Collin bump fist. My nerves are suddenly hitting my system. I know Josh and I have already had sex, but this is something else entirely. We are intentionally spending the night together. The butterflies in my stomach that I always have around him are fluttering madly. Josh halts his hand on the key card by the slot. He looks down at me fidgeting with my hair and just fidgeting in general. He lifts a brow and cocks his head to the side. “You okay with this? If not we can—,”
Embrace the Moment Page 18