Touch Me When We're Dancing

by Suzanne Jenkins

  “What?”

  “I’m a little old to be having sex in a limo,” he said, putting his arm around her. “Whodathunk?”

  “Who said? You’re younger at heart than many young men I’ve known. I’m lucky to have you.”

  Holding her tight, he looked into her eyes. “Why do I feel like you have something up your sleeve?” he whispered.

  “Because you’re smart. I don’t want to lose you, Michael. That’s all. I want you to know what you mean to me. I never want to take you for granted.”

  “Wow,” he said, full of emotion. “I hardly know what to say.”

  “Just love me,” she said. “I’ve made some big mistakes in the past few years. I want to make it right. The only way I know how to do that is by being kind to you and not playing any games. I’m not even sure if that’ll work, but this was my attempt. I wanted you to feel good, so I tried that.”

  “It worked. I might have to find a new driver, but that’s a small price to pay,” he said, chuckling.

  The car pulled up to the curb, and Sandra quickly got out so she didn’t have to see the driver, but she didn’t think it was too obvious what they had done. The doorman was there, creepy as ever, licking his chops.

  “You’d better show some respect, or I’m telling my boyfriend.”

  “I didn’t do anything,” he said.

  “You might be out of a job if you don’t knock it off.”

  “My apologies, ma’am. No disrespect intended.”

  “It might be too late. You leer whenever I’m around.”

  Thinking he might as well have his say as long as he was going to lose his job anyway, he let her have it. “That old man likes young girls. His wife was younger than you. A sweet little thing, too,” he said. Then his face lit up with recognition. “Hey! Aren’t you the bitch who pushed her off the cliff?”

  A blast of cold air got their attention.

  “What’d you say to her?” Michael asked, walking through the door. “Never mind. I’ll call the board right now.”

  “Please, sir, she intimidated me.”

  “Too bad,” Michael said, punching in keys on his phone.

  They stood in the lobby, waiting, and in one minute he got the text. “The president of the co-op will be right down.”

  Sandra was so angry and so frightened that her teeth were chattering. An almost perfect evening had been ruined by a doorman.

  Chapter 10

  By Saturday night, most of the snow had blown off the beach, but the drifts in front of the houses on Sea View were three feet deep, and the icebergs at the shoreline were giant blocks piled high.

  After the party Friday night, Marian Cooper was worried that their guests would want to spend the weekend because of the snow, but fortunately, Jacob Park had to work Saturday afternoon, so they left after breakfast. The main roads were cleared, leaving no excuse to stay.

  Marian had threatened Will with a breakup if he so much as hinted that they stay for a weekend house party.

  “Don’t ever do that again,” she said firmly. “Like I said, you want to hook up, invite them to your own place. My house and bed are off-limits.”

  “I’m so sorry,” he said. “I guess I thought you would enjoy it as much as I did. I was a little put off that at the last minute you backed out.”

  Reluctantly, she took her eyes off the ocean and looked at Will. She saw how perfectly groomed he was, fresh out of the shower, his fit, healthy body, even his teeth were perfect. Why did he need low-life debauchery?

  “It was novel the first few times, but I don’t want to do it anymore. The young girl last night, now that was exploitation.”

  “What was exploitive about it?” he asked, his voice an octave higher.

  “Do you know what she said? She told me that Jacob invited her to come along, not Trina. Jacob is her father’s older brother. He’s her uncle, Will. That’s sick. It’s almost illegal.”

  “I still don’t see how that is exploitive.”

  “I’m not spelling it out for you,” she said, near tears.

  When the Parks had walked through the door, Marian did a quick visual assessment of their niece, Dawn, and immediately saw the problem. Dawn was a big girl. It was clear she had self-confidence issues. Trina held her hand and was whispering to her, rubbing her arm.

  “What’s going on?” Marian had asked.

  “Dawn’s feeling self-conscious, and I’m just trying to encourage her.”

  “Dawn, you don’t have to participate,” Marian said.

  “I really want to, though. It’ll be fun. I’m ready to have some fun.”

  Marian deduced that Dawn was lonely, and this was the only thing that was offered to her. It was then that Marian knew she was through with swinging.

  She acted the hostess, but when the sex started, she excused herself and went into a small room off the kitchen that Ted Dale had set up as his office. Will was disappointed, but it didn’t take him long to lead Dawn back into one of the guest bedrooms, with Trina and Jacob following, where they stayed most of the night.

  Bundling up against the cold, Marian went out to walk the beach for a while after Will and his guests disappeared. The lights were on at the Braddock’s, and she could see in through the expansive mullioned windows across the back. The moonlight shone on the water, reflecting on the icy sand off the back of Pam’s beautiful house. Like it was staged, the couple walked into the room, and Randy took Pam into his arms. Stopping to watch them, Marian was unobserved in the shadows. Next, thinking the couple was preparing to embrace, she held her breath as he put his arm out, and then Marian realized they were going to dance.

  Marian thought Randy Braddock was talking to Pam, but then she could see he was singing to her, his mouth staying open longer than simple words required, and the idea of it, touching and romantic, that a sixty-year-old man would be so in love with a woman that he’d sing to her while dancing, was the last straw for Marian, and she started to cry, to sob, with shaking shoulders and tears running down her face.

  “They are really in love.”

  Marian yelped and took a step back in the snow. It was Ted Dale. She reached in her pocket for a tissue and blew her nose, unable to halt the tears.

  “I’ve watched them, too,” he said gently, putting his arm up on her shoulder to comfort her. They were almost the same height. “I’ve seen them at parties here at the house, where they’ll dance like no one else is around.”

  She didn’t mind his arm there and relaxed against him.

  “My relationship is sorely lacking if this is the usual,” she confessed.

  “I don’t think it’s the usual, but it does show what’s possible. That’s why at my age I had to try again. Charlie, that’s my boyfriend, offered me a chance at love, and I took it.”

  She blew her nose again. “Were you coming to check on your house just now?”

  “Not at all. Truthfully, I was going to sneak in the garage and get a snow shovel. My brilliant boyfriend has that mansion for a house and not one tool. I have three or four snow shovels.”

  Marian chuckled. “Go ahead,” she said, hoping there was no yodeling or screams coming from the house.

  She waited on the beach, watching Pam and Randy. When they stopped dancing, they held up glasses of wine to clink, Randy saying something that left Pam in animated laughter. Just as Ted returned, the lights in the den went off, and lights on the other side of the house went on.

  “They’re in the bedroom now,” Ted said. “I’d like to be a fly on the wall. He really loves her.”

  “Wow,” Marian said. “That’s intense. I’ve never had that before.”

  “I’m so sorry. You probably don’t believe you deserve it, so you settle for less. That was my history, as well. Once I changed my mindset, I captured the love of my life. Unfortunately, he was insane and killed himself.”

  “Ashton?”

  “Yes,” Ted said. “However, Pam introduced me to her next-door neighbor, and we fell in love. It
’s how I acquired this fabulous house.”

  “But he died, too?”

  “A heart attack,” Ted said. “So now I’m with Senator Monroe.”

  “Wait! Your Charlie is presidential candidate Charles Monroe?”

  “Yes, but you didn’t hear it from me.”

  When she felt it was safe to go indoors, Marian went back to her bedroom as quickly as she could, locking the door. Fortunately, it was on the other side of the house from the guest rooms, so she couldn’t hear any sounds.

  While washing the makeup off her face, Marian thought about what Ted had said. She’d settled for a life with men who didn’t love her the way she wanted to be loved because she didn’t think she was worth it. Why did it take a gay man who had been married twice to tell a psychiatrist something so obvious?

  She crawled into her bed, clean sheets enveloping her, and picked up her current fiction book, where she was able to forget the misery for a while. Soon, the sounds of the sea lulled her to sleep.

  At dawn, she heard a soft tap on her door, but didn’t answer it. If Will wanted to sleep with her, he was sadly mistaken. She turned the light off and curled back up to sleep.

  Something woke her around eight, and she realized it was the chaos of people leaving. She waited until the sound of their car in the driveway alerted her that they were going back to Connecticut. Cracking her bedroom door, she heard water running. Having the house back to herself would feel wonderful, and accepting that, she made the decision that she was going to ask Will to leave.

  After she dressed, she went out to the living area. Will had cleaned up any evidence of the party. The washer was even going; he had the decency to wash the sheets. Coffee was made. He’d gone out in the snow already because there was a bakery box on the counter. He was doing penance. She poured coffee and took an apple Danish out of the box. Will came into the kitchen, and with him invading her space, she pushed the plate away, her appetite gone.

  He pulled a chair out and sat down next to her. “You don’t have to spell it out. It was exploitive.”

  “Will, I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m through. You’re not going to change, and I have no desire to be part of it. Spending a snowy Friday night at the beach alone while my boyfriend is having sex with a twenty-year-old was not my idea of fun, and I won’t do it again.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “I’m over it, Will. I want you to leave.”

  “Where did this come from?” he asked. “I don’t understand. For the past year and a half, you’ve accepted my lifestyle as your lifestyle.”

  “That’s such a bunch of shit. What lifestyle? People who indiscriminately have sex with a lot of people all the time are not normal. If you want to do it, don’t pretend to be in a loving relationship. I don’t want this. I want to live at the beach, alone or with someone who cherishes me. I can’t believe that at my age, retirement of all things, I’ve finally come to realize that I want that kind of love.”

  “You’re kidding yourself,” he replied.

  “Am I? Because you don’t think I’m worth it?”

  “No! That’s not what I think. I just don’t think people really cherish each other. They want what they want for themselves. I want free sex with different partners. It’s what I want. So we’ll call it what it is. You don’t want that. You want to monopolize a guy’s life.”

  “That sounds about right. At least sexually I do. But with my money, you have to admit I’m as free as a bird.”

  “That’s low,” Will replied.

  “I hit a nerve.”

  “Do you want me to leave?”

  “I do,” she said. “I was just thinking how handsome and funny you are. Even your teeth are perfect. But you had sex with that hairy Jacob last night. You probably have his pubic hair stuck in between your teeth.”

  “Marian—”

  “No, you had your say; now I want to have mine. Was the night worth it?”

  “It’s just different,” he said. “I’m afraid I’d get bored if I only slept with you.”

  “See, I think you’re supposed to get bored once in a while. It’s the thing that drives humans to improve their life, to seek adventure. Instead, swingers just screw their way through every impulse. It’s like taking a laxative to shit. Once you’ve gone to the toilet, you’ll just need to go again. It’s never ending.

  “Anyway, please go. I know it’s crappy out, but you’ll be fine. The roads into the city will be cleared off by now.”

  He left the room to put together his overnight bag. She was right, losing her and the comfort that she offered him because of her wealth was not worth the sex that he’d had last night, although with Dawn it had been pretty wonderful. He’d forgotten about young women, their firm bodies and soft skin. He had her phone number and would call her as soon as he got back to the city, offer to pay for a train ride down from Connecticut.

  When he came out of the bedroom, Marian was gone.

  ***

  Walking the beach could become an obsession. After she left the house, she decided to go north, and passing Pam’s house, she saw Pam and the dogs exit with a beautiful young woman and her handsome partner.

  “Aren’t there any ugly people here?” she asked the wind.

  “Marian!” Pam called.

  It made her feel good that Pam went out of her way for her instead of ducking inside.

  “Meet my daughter and her friend,” she called over the wind. “They’re going skiing!”

  “Mother, it’s not that exciting,” Lisa said, laughing. “I’ll probably break a leg.”

  “I think it’s pretty hard to break a bone cross-country skiing,” Steve said. “You’re not going fast enough.”

  “You don’t know Lisa,” Pam said. “She might find a way.”

  “Mother, please go back inside,” Lisa said, tightening the bindings.

  “Can I walk with you, Marian?” Pam asked, the dogs leaping in the air. “Be safe, you two. Come back for lunch if you’d like. It’s takeout!”

  “Yes! Walk with me. I’ll even take a dog,” Marian replied.

  Pam scurried off with Marian and the dogs.

  “My mom can make a dead person nervous,” Lisa said.

  “Ha! She’s lovely,” Steve said. “Are you all set?”

  “Ready!”

  They set off south toward her house in case her bindings didn’t hold.

  “I think I’ll get skis for the kids,” she said. “I forgot how much fun this is.”

  “I’m looking forward to meeting your children,” Steve said.

  “Really? Do you like kids?”

  “I do. I want kids someday. Either mine or someone else’s.”

  Lisa laughed and sped up a little bit. “I’d have the children of four men if I have yours,” Lisa said. “Talk about a baby mama.” And then she stopped skiing. “Oh my God! Did I just say that? What a way to scare a guy off! Talk about a faux pas. I’m so sorry.”

  He was laughing though, looking at her with passion. “That’s quite all right. I thought the exact same thing. Not about you being a baby mama, but you having my children.”

  “Change the subject, please,” she said, getting nervous.

  “Okay, do you like football?”

  “Only if the Giants are playing,” she said. “My dad was a diehard.”

  “We live in New York,” he said. “It would be treason if we liked another team. Even people in New Jersey like the Giants.”

  “People in South Jersey like the Eagles.” Lisa grinned, knowing that would hit a nerve.

  Steve stopped and pretended to throw up, contorting his face, and Lisa screamed laughing.

  “You’re just jealous because they won the Super Bowl.”

  They were in front of her house, and Tim and Valarie were playing on the second-floor porch with Brent.

  “Aw, she’s having fun,” Valarie said, looking down at them while she washed the windows. “Daniela says Lisa never does anything fun. She’s always do
ing for someone else or taking care of her kids. Now look at her.”

  Tim watched, and a little jealousy scratched at his ego. “I’m happy for her,” he said, deadpan.

  “No, you’re not,” Valarie said, swatting him with her rag. “But you’ll get over it.”

  “You’re really special,” Tim said, looking up at her. “Thank you. Thank you for hanging with me.”

  “We’ve just started! We’ve got a lot of ground to cover together. It takes a lot for me to get tired of a man, Tim. You’re a human being. I knew you were attracted to her when you and I first came out here, and I also knew it would run its course. If you end up with Lisa, it will definitely be my loss.”

  He stood and embraced her. “She’s got too much going on,” he said. “Too many kids with too many different men. I wouldn’t function well in that environment.”

  “I see. You like peace and quiet,” she said, grinning up at him. “You want a boring woman, like me.”

  He looked to see if Brent was occupied, and when he saw he was, Tim led her off the porch into the living room and embraced her to dance with her like they had the night before. She smelled good, like fruity shampoo and lavender soap, and she looked up with her eyes closed and a dreamy expression on her face. He kissed her right then, her breath was all vanilla from the coffee creamer, and he could smell the cream she had rubbed into her face.

  The night before, she’d finally let him go down on her. She was reluctant to allow it for some reason. He couldn’t get enough of it; she was soft, and her body was clean and fragrant. The memory was making him a little crazy.

  “May I?” he whispered, sliding his hand between her legs.

  Swallowing, she nodded her head, afraid to speak. He stroked her while she shuddered, shy but excited.

  “Do I act like I think you’re boring?”

  She shook her head as he squeezed her body, his thumb right there.

  “I want that again,” he whispered. “The way you did it to me last night, on top of me, I hope that vision never fades.”

  Taking her in his arms, he kissed her, his passion for her real, a crazy amalgam of gratefulness, happiness, desire and need. Sandra would never have stood for what he’d just done to Valarie.