"That's love," Cole called from the other room.
I walked around Nate and stopped at the edge of the room, watching the cocky bastard. "Stay outta my shit."
"I'm just saying. You're right to run away with her. It's not like you're going to sit around and watch her be with some other chump." He shrugged and took a sip of his beer as he watched me. "You might want to tell her about Thomas though, Erik. That hit’s coming soon."
"How do you know this?"
He moved to the edge of the couch. "If I trusted you, I would explain, but I don't, so take my word for it."
"That's it." I moved across the room and grabbed him by the shirt, pulling him up and popping him in the face twice. I don't know why I hated the fucker so much, but I did.
"Erik. Fuck." Nate pulled me back as Cole popped me once in the side. I crumbled to the ground with a scream of agony.
"The hit is tonight. I heard your father talk about it with Kane. I'm a slick mother fucker, Erik, and when your turn comes to run the syndicate, I want one thing." He knelt beside me.
"What?" I barked and cupped my side. There was no way my father was calling out the hit on Grace's brother the night I was heading out of town.
"Freedom." He stood up and walked toward the kitchen.
"Didn't you ask for this, you idiot?" I rolled over as Nate helped me up.
"He needs to belong to someone powerful for a time, but that time will end soon." Nate moved back and reached out to pat the side of my face. "You alright? You look ill."
I pulled my gun from the back of my jeans and let a round off toward the kitchen. "You'll get nothing from me, Cole. Stay away from my family, or I'll put a bullet in your head."
"Not happening yet, but when my slate is clean... I'll disappear, and you'll never hear from me again." He walked back toward the living room, pausing. "You want me to prove my loyalty right now? I'll kill the frat boy for you."
"No. It's my fucking hit. I'll do it, and then I'm getting the hell out of here."
"No, you're not." Nate gripped my shoulder. "I'm not letting you make that mistake."
"Try and stop me." I turned and walked to the door, limping due to the pressure in my chest. My rib had to be poking into my lungs.
"Erik," Nate called after me as I walked out and slammed the door behind me. What the fuck was my best friend doing in bed with a cop? Was Cole a good guy or a bad guy? Did I care? No. I'd figure his shit out later. He was a mystery I didn't care to unravel just yet.
****
"Erik. What happened?" Grace walked toward me as I moved out of the shadows at her library event. She looked like an angel in her white dress and sparkly heels.
"You look good enough to eat." I licked at the side of my mouth and smiled at her as my heart sank.
"Answer me." She reached up and brushed her fingertips by the side of my face.
"I got into a fight with a hammer?" I smiled and flinched. My lip was busted from getting in my father's face again. One thing I wasn't willing to do was strike back. Not ever.
"I don't like it." She moved into my arms and let out a frightened sound. "Did you talk to him?"
I looked down at her and touched her cheek before kissing her softly a few times. "Yeah. He's not willing to let me go. Not ever."
She glanced down, her expression growing sad. "Okay. I understand. Just be careful, okay?" She looked back up and touched my chest. "And if you ever get a chance to come back to the library-"
"Hush, kitten. We're not through." I cupped the side of her throat and leaned down, kissing her more fully though it hurt like fuck to do it. I pulled back and enjoyed the look of ecstasy on her beautiful face. "We'll leave when you're done with your event. I don't know how long I have or how far we'll get, but I want to spend as many days with you as I can."
"No." She shook her head. "I'm not going."
"What?" A host of emotions raced through me. She was trying to protect me. "Yes, you are."
"No." She took a step back and shook her head. "Please leave. I'm not going to be the reason you keep getting hurt." Tears swam in her eyes.
"Grace. This is the life I chose to live. It's the-"
"No. It isn't." She reached up and blotted her eyes. "You're stuck in that life because of being born to a monster. Nothing is going to change that." She took a deep breath and shook her head. "Goodbye, Erik. Take care of yourself."
She turned and walked into a large group of people, her attention gone from me completely. There wasn't anything else to say. She'd given up on us because she wanted to save me, but her dismissal left me standing alone, the darkness around me growing thick.
My father had done this. He'd threatened her and me in a way that left her strong enough to turn away from me. I had half a mind to walk across the floor and snatch her pretty ass up, carry her outside and put her in the car myself.
But what good would it do?
My phone buzzed. Kane. The hit on Thomas was activated.
"Of course it is," I mumbled and turned, walking back down the stairs and out the front of the library. Grace was right to turn away from me. She needed to stay strong because I couldn't do it.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called Cole, hating myself as the phone rang.
"Erik. Where are you? You need me?" He sounded on edge, as if he'd already claimed me as a brother. What was it with this fucking guy?
"Yeah. I'm going to do the hit on Thomas. I need Grace there to see it."
"Hmm... so she'll hate you?"
"Exactly. She trusts you. Get her there." I dropped the call and jogged to my bike as my insides burned in agony. I'd planned on letting her brother go and taking the hit on my own head to spare her from the loss of someone she loved, but things never quite worked out the way I planned.
My world was too much for her, and as of late, it had become almost too much for me. I drove the bike around to the other side of campus and got off, spotting Kane in the distance. I made my way over to him through the crowd of drunk college kids.
"You look like shit." He patted my shoulder. "Still suffering from your last ass beating."
I growled and looked down at him. "Say one more thing about it, and I'll cut off your dick and watch you choke to death on it."
He shivered. "I was kidding man. Shit."
"Don't. I'm not in the mood." I turned and let my eyes run across the lawn, spotting Thomas in the middle of a group of good looking girls. He was a player alright. I had no doubt that Grace knew nothing of the nasty games he played with girls, tying them up and taking his time to enjoy watching them come unglued. I'd learned a thing or two about the bastard over the last few weeks, each thing giving me more of a reason to pull the trigger.
In the past, I needed no reason at all.
Fuck Grace for making me love her.
"Alright. You doing it or am I up?" Kane moved across the yard with me as a cold wind blew past us.
"Me. I need to do it. Tell him Grace is in his bedroom and she's upset." I walked away, knowing that Kane would get the guy upstairs in no time. And if I knew anything about Cole... he would have Grace in the right spot as well.
I walked up the stairs, ignoring the odd stares I got. I was the only mother fucker in black, and everyone else was wearing a white sheet as a toga. Nothing mattered. Hell, getting caught didn't matter much either. Maybe that was another option.
After finding the right room, I walked to the window and picked up the picture of Thomas and Grace sitting on his desk. She looked so happy, so young and full of life.
"Grace?"
I turned at the sound of Thomas' voice and lifted my gun. "No, but she'll be here soon."
"Oh no." He made a run for the door, but Kane closed it and stood in front of it. "Please. I have the money coming on Tuesday next week. I promise. I'll give you anything if you can just hold off. Please."
"Why would steal from the mafia, Thomas? How fucking stupid are you?" I moved a few steps closer, wanting to beat the kid’s ass and send hi
m home. Grace was the only woman I could see in my future, and that meant her little brother was mine too. Fuck her for being so right for me.
"I didn't know. I didn't." He stopped mid-sentence and paled. "Wait. Why is my sister coming here? She didn't do anything. She has nothing to do with this." He turned and started to swing at Kane.
I moved up behind him and locked my arms around him. "Get something from the closet, and we'll tie his hands up."
"No. Please. Not my sister. She didn't do anything. This was all me. Please." He thrashed about until Kane walked back and together we got his hands tied behind his back.
I moved back and wiped my hand down my face as I lifted my gun. "Shut the fuck up. I'm not going to hurt Grace. It's you who owes the money."
Grace burst into the room, her eyes wide, tears streaking down her face. Cole appeared in the doorway behind her.
"No! Erik. No!" She ran across the room and got on the floor in front of her brother, turning to face me and covering him as best as she could. "How dare you. You sorry bastard."
"Rules are rules, Grace. I tried to leave." I shrugged, letting a coldness settle over me that I had after Delaney's death. "Move, or I'll shoot you both."
"Erik," Cole warned and moved into the room with us.
I nodded at Kane, and he moved from behind the door and hit Cole hard in the back of the head. The big lug fell over, hitting the floor loudly. "And stay the fuck down," Kane growled.
"Your brother stole from my father. He owes twenty-thousand dollars. I'm here to collect. If he doesn't have it, then his life will do instead." I cocked my gun, and she cried out in fear.
"Why are you doing this? It's me. Look at me." She patted her chest as she sobbed.
My heart broke deep inside of my chest. "Move Grace. This bullet isn't meant for you."
"I'll give you anything you want. I'll go with you. Let's go. Just don't hurt Thomas," she screamed at me, her emotions raping her.
"Last chance, Grace. Move." I fired off a shot beside her, and she screamed. Thomas lay below her, crying like a fucking girl. I glanced over at Kane. "Meet me outside and make sure no one comes in. Got it?"
He nodded, his eyes wide, his face pale. I must have looked like the demon my father raised me to be.
"Erik. Baby. Look at me." Grace reached out, her hand shaking as Kane shut the door. "I know you don't love me the way I love you, but please. I'll get you the money. Just don't hurt my brother."
"Do you know what's going to happen if I return to my father and Thomas is alive, but I don't have the money?" I tilted my head to the side, studying her, but not really seeing her. "Do you know what I've already suffered for you?"
"Please. Please, Erik. See me. Please." She pulled her hand back and turned to cover her brother with her body.
I wasn't sure what I expected. For her to choose me over Thomas? That was impossible. I'd put a hole in her head before I let her touch Delaney. My life didn't mean much without the possibility of her in it anymore. It had been so fucking lonely and dark before that, but now...
The sound of her and Thomas crying followed me down the hall as I walked toward the front door. Kane was waiting by my bike, but I ignored him, got on it and drove toward my father's mansion.
He wouldn't accept my reasoning, so there was no reason giving it.
He wouldn't bend on requiring Thomas' life, but he'd have to send someone else. I loved the pretty girl splayed out across Thomas far too much to go through with it. I wasn't the hitman I thought I was. I wasn't anything.
The guards moved back as I walked up to the house a few minutes later and numbly made my way to my father's office.
He glanced up from writing something and stood. "Erik. What happened?"
"I failed you. I failed me." I closed the door behind me and walked toward him, handing him my gun. I took a few steps back as he walked around the desk and pointed it at me.
"Explain."
"I love her, Dad. I can't take her brother's life, not even to save my own." I shrugged. "I'm sorry. I wish I were more of who you wanted me to be."
He smiled. "You're exactly who I want you to be. You're just lost, but I'll help you find your way back."
I let my head drop as he raised his hand. The pain that exploded across my face was numbed by the sweet darkness that pulled me under.
For once in my shitty life, I'd made the right choice.
The unselfish one.
Chapter 24
Two Weeks Later
Grace
"You okay?" Cole sat across from me at DeLuca, his expression kind.
"No." I glanced down at my coffee and forced my feelings back deep inside of me. "I miss him so much. You're sure he's okay?"
"Yeah. He got his ass beat pretty good, but Lucien loves him, Grace. It's just a different kind of relationship."
She shook her head. "And you know this because your father was a monster that beat you too?"
"No. I was an orphan growing up." He shrugged and leaned back in his chair. "You know why Erik wanted you there that night, right?"
"Tell me why." My hands shook, and the world seemed off, wrong.
"He planned on killing Thomas as he was requested to, but he hoped that you'd watch and hate him because of it, truly sealing the deal between the two of you." He glanced down. "He didn't think he was in love with you, or at least not to the extent he was. He woke up that night."
"How are you not furious with him?" I moved closer to the table. "He knocked you out. Used you to get me there."
He smiled. "My little brother would have done the same shit for a woman he loves. Erik is no different."
"Why are you wrapped up in them?"
"Because I have a debt I can't pay, Grace. Lucien paid it off for me, but for that, I'm indebted to him."
"What kind of debt?" I wanted to dig because not pushing forward in the conversation meant returning to our previous one - Erik.
"Erik is going to be fine. He's a strong mother fucker. Scary as hell too. "He chuckled. "I can't tell you the number of times over the last two weeks I had to hold my own against him, and I thought I might shit myself."
The smell of garlic wafted through the air, and I glanced back to see a small boy walking in with his family. He had a small pizza box in his hands. My stomach flipped upside down.
"Oh shit. I'm going to be sick." I got up and ran full speed to the bathroom, barely making it before I hit my knee and lost my breakfast in the toilet.
"Grace?" Jenna's voice calmed me a little. "You okay?"
I groaned and threw up again as she moved up and held my hair back. I finally got myself together enough to sit back on my heels. She handed me a cup of water, and I glanced back to see Cole standing in the doorway.
"I'm okay. Just ate something bad, I guess." I reached for Jenna and stood up.
"Let me take you home." Cole reached for me, but I pulled back.
"No. Please. I appreciate you being kind, but just take care of Erik for me? Let me know how he's doing and keep him safe? Please? I have no one who can help me with that." I brushed my hand across the back of my mouth and leaned against the wall. "Please?"
"Alright. I'll be around if you need me." He lingered in the bathroom doorway a little longer and turned to leave.
Jenna shut the door and put her hand on her hip. "What the fuck was that?"
"Cole? Nothing. He's just a friend."
"You barfing at the smell of garlic."
I shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't felt good for weeks now. Maybe I picked up a bug."
She reached out and pushed on one of my breasts.
I screamed and swatted at her. "That hurt!"
"Oh shit." She turned and opened the door. "I'm clocking out. We're going to the drug store."
"What? Why? I have a family doctor. Let's just go see him."
"Grace." She glanced back as we walked down the hallway. "When was the last time you had your period?"
"I don't know. A little while ago." I stood by
the door as she scurried off. My mind went crazy trying to calculate exactly when I had my last period. Six weeks before.
"Six weeks!" I reached for her as horror rolled through me. "No. I can't be pregnant. You don't understand."
"Outside." She moved us outside and wrapped her arm around my shoulders as she half-pulled me toward the drug store down the street. "It's going to be fine. I'm sure we're overreacting."
I pressed on my breasts and cried out at the tenderness of both of them. "Oh my God. This is horrible. What am I going to do?"
"We don't know anything yet. We'll get the test and go back to my house. It's going to be fine. No freaking out until we know what we're dealing with. Okay?" She stopped in front of the store and stuck out her pinkie. "Pinkie swear."
"We're in our twenties." I snorted and for a moment felt some semblance of normalcy.
"Do it," she barked, looking more freaked out than I felt.
I wrapped my finger around hers. "Fine, but you go buy it. I need fresh air."
"Okay. Don't go anywhere." She gave me a stern look as if I was going to jump in the next windowless van that approached. She walked into the store, and I paced the sidewalk in front of it, going through the what ifs.
What if I was pregnant? There was no way in hell I was telling Erik, and yet to raise a baby without him seemed so insanely fucked up. He didn't deserve my honesty or my affection. He'd forced Cole to bring me to my brother's execution.
And he'd walked away without hurting Thomas.
Tears burned my eyes as Jenna walked back out and pulled me into a tight hug.
"Hey. It's okay."
I pressed my face to her shoulder and cried while she held me. It wasn't okay. None of it was. I'd be devastated if I was pregnant and destroyed if I wasn't.
A baby sounded like a horrible idea, and yet it sparked something inside of me. If Erik found out... he'd come back to me. No matter what it cost him.
****
"Grace. You need to take it. Seriously. We have to know." Jenna followed me around her apartment with the pregnancy test in her hand.
Doctor Feelgood: (A Bad Boy Doctor Novel) Page 65