"Erik." I reached up and touched the side of his face tenderly. "Sit down and let me put something on this. It looks infected."
He sat down on the coffee table and clasped his hands in his lap looking nothing like the man I fell in love with. He was broken, darkened, lost. He didn't say a word as I dropped my blanket and jogged back to the bathroom, stifling a sob.
It was my fault. Him getting beaten within an inch of his life was all my fault. I hated myself like never before. After getting the supplies to clean up his face, I paused and pressed a towel against my lips, shoving a little into my mouth as I screamed as hard as I could a few times. My insides were going to burst open with the level of emotion that raged through me.
I forced myself to calm down, breathed in deeply and walked back into the living room to find him in the same position he was before.
"When did this happen?" I sat down and moved closer, snuggling between his open legs on my knees before him.
"A couple of weeks ago." He gripped his thighs and stared down at me. "You need money for an abortion?"
"What? No." I grabbed some cotton balls and soaked them in rubbing alcohol before lifting up and patting the side of his face. His dark eyes bore into my soul as he watched me. If he loved me before, he didn't anymore.
"Where's your brother?" He turned his head, ignoring the fact that I was trying to patch up his face.
"Sit on the couch and stay still." I moved and pointed toward the couch.
He got up and pulled his shirt over his head and walked to the window, opening it and standing there a minute. "It's fucking hot in here."
Dark yellow and black bruises covered his beautiful back and stitches ran down his side and over his chest in several places. He avoided my stare as he moved to the couch and dropped down.
"You're running a fever. We need to get you to a hospital."
"No," he barked. "I'm fine. Just tell me about the baby, and I'll be gone. I didn't come here for your sympathy, Grace. I made my choice." He narrowed his eyes. "And you made yours."
I sat back on my heels as sorrow welled up inside of me. I'd never been enough for anyone, and yet for him, it seems as though I was. The one thing I wanted in my life sat in front of me, broken and bruised because of me turning away.
"What choice did I have? You had a gun pointed at my brother's head." My eyes filled with tears again. I had no clue how I still had enough water inside of me to cry anymore. I'd done nothing since losing him two weeks before. "Would you have chosen me over Delaney, Erik?"
"I don't know." He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, letting out a painful sigh. "I'm so tired, Grace. I knew what to do before, what I wanted and how to get it. Now... I just want to lay down and sleep. Forever."
I dropped the cotton ball and moved into his lap, straddling him. I ran my fingernails softly over his thick chest and avoided the sores. "What can I do? I'll do anything to take your pain away."
He opened his eyes. "Leave town and never come back."
"What? My life is here. You're here. My friends are here."
"Get rid of the baby." He ran his hands up my thighs, squeezing softly as he lifted his hips. "He doesn't deserve any life where he belongs to me. No life is better than this one."
I moved closer, laying my head on his chest and pressing my lips to his neck, kissing him softly over and over as I started to cry, my heart in anguish to the point of death.
"Please don't say that again." I reached up and cupped his face, moving in to kiss him on the good side of his mouth. "I had no choice but to try and protect you, Erik. You know that."
"And I returned the favor. We're even, angel. Nothing owed from me or you." He pressed his hand against my back, forcing me to fall against his chest. The soft groan from him sounded like a mixture of pleasure and pain.
"I love you. I'll always love you, Erik." I wrapped my arms around his neck and rolled my hips, massaging the budding erection rising beneath me.
He cupped my ass and slipped his hands into my shorts, petting the most sacred parts of me, places only he'd touched. "I'm sorry to hear that." He kissed the side of my neck and rimmed my opening before taking a deep breath and releasing me. "Get off me, please."
"No." I clung to him, my heart threatening to explode in my chest. "Don't do this. Let's get out of here and run. You know that's our only hope."
He chuckled and moved up, putting me on the couch beside him as he stood. "There's no hope left, Grace. Go back to your life and find a man to make you happy." He walked to the door and paused. "I'll be watching from the corner of the library. If anyone ever touches you or our son without your permission, I'll kill them."
"How do you know it's a boy?" I stood and ran my hands down my abdomen, watching him.
The light in his eyes was completely gone, but something sparked a little as he reached out and pressed his palm to my stomach. "We Bertinellis always have boys first. It's a family curse." He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Take care."
"Erik." I walked behind him and reached out, grabbing his shirt. "Please don't do this. We can leave together and raise this baby like he should be."
He turned to face me and nodded. "And always watch behind us, never truly knowing freedom until one day they find us." He smirked. "And they force me to watch while you're raped and torn in two and then they-" his voice broke as tears swam in his beautiful eyes, "and then they turn to my son. They don't ever give up, Grace. Vengeance and hate force them to keep killing, to keep taking, to always destroy. It's the world I've been born into." He lifted his hands. "The one that will always belong to me."
"No." I reached out and touched his chest. "It doesn't have to. I can heal it for you. I can protect myself. I'll do anything."
He reached out and touched the side of my face. "Then do what I asked you to do. Get rid of the baby or get out of the city and change your name. You're a dumb bitch if you don't."
I stepped back, appalled as he turned and walked down the hallway, leaving me there with nothing more than a broken heart and a destroyed spirit.
He wasn't the man I thought he was. He was his father's son.
****
"You know this is crazy, right?" Cole glanced over at me as we drove toward the Bertinelli mansion.
"I don't know what else to do." I leaned back in my seat and closed my eyes. "I sat on the couch forever and realized something, Cole. He's turning away from me to protect me. I did that to him two weeks ago, and it blew up in my face. If he would have called me on it, we might be together, but he didn't. This morning when he came by, he was so fucked up." I pressed my hands to my face. "I should have called him on it, forced myself on him, made love to him. Something."
He snorted. "Made love to him?"
"Yes," I bit out and gave him a stern look. "I don't want to talk about it anymore. Just get me into the mansion and show me where Erik's father is. I'll take care of the rest from there."
"I don't like it, Grace. I've been working to keep you safe this whole damn time too."
"Why?" I glanced over at him.
"Because I care about Erik's safety. I never had a father, but in working for Lucien for this short amount of time, I'll tell you this... I'd rather have nothing than what Erik's had. The man is sick. Incredibly sick. I knew this wouldn't end well." He pulled up to a thick line of trees. "We're going to have to sneak you in. Stay here, and I'll be back in a few minutes, okay? It's going to be dark soon, which will help a little."
"Okay." I tried to be brave, but I couldn't seem to slow my racing heart. What if I couldn't pull the trigger? What if I killed Erik's father and he hated me for it? What if there were more to the situation than I could see? I was so fucking naive and young.
Cole came back a few minutes later with the big ugly asshole that tried to kill my brother. "Grace. This is Kane. He's Erik's right hand."
Kane nodded. "Sorry about the shit with your brother. We don't really get to make the call on who has to die."
"Fuck you." I got out of the
car and walked around to stand between the two of them. "Why is he here?"
"He's gonna help us." Cole lifted his hand and turned as four big guys stepped out of the darkness. "Run, Grace. Run."
I took off toward the house but didn't get far. The sound of fighting filled up the night around me, but the guy on top of me wrapped something around my face that smelled like embalming fluid. I tried to hold my breath and fight against him, but it was no use.
I'd failed like I had so many other times in my life. Why didn't I just ignore the desire to get to know Erik Bertinelli, the draw to love a dangerous man like him? The untapped desire to belong.
Death was all that faced me, and I would be lucky if it wasn't accompanied by something horrific to accompany it.
Just don't hurt the baby, was my last thought before I blacked out.
Chapter 27
Erik
I slept the rest of the day and all through the night without even turning over. Clarity rested on me the next morning when I woke up, and I was sick over some of the things I'd said to Grace. Get rid of the baby? What the fuck was I talking about? He was a representation of the love between us, of her opening up her beautiful body and letting me in. I was the only man she'd ever let touch her, fuck her, explore her.
Something like a vice grip tightened in my chest, and I knew what I had to do. It started with an apology. Life was fucked up, and there was no way in hell I was bringing her into my darkness, but I'd figure out a way to kill my old man or run to another country and hide. Either way, she and my son would be beside me.
I walked to the bathroom and splashed some cold water on my face. Yesterday was a blur of sorts, as if someone had been putting something in my food. What the hell?
The sound in the hallway caught my attention, and I moved toward the kitchen to find Lizzy and my father wrapped up together, talking about something softly. A bottle of liquid Vicodin sitting next to a plate with breakfast on it.
"No fucking way," I mumbled and turned, jogging through the house and making it outside without anyone seeing me. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and texted Cole, expecting a response right away. Nothing. "Whatever."
I drove to the library, breaking every rule known to man only to find out that Grace hadn't shown up for her shift that morning.
Had she left town like I told her to? I called Jenna, hoping she would answer, but only got her voicemail.
"Where the fuck is everyone?"
Nate's number appeared on my phone, and I answered it. "Nate."
"Hey man. Sorry to bother you, but Jenna's pretty upset. She was supposed to meet Grace for breakfast this morning, but Grace never showed."
"Did she call?" I got back on the bike.
"No, man. Do you know where she might be?" He sounded sick.
"No, but I'm headed over to her place now. I saw her yesterday, and things didn't go too well, but I'm praying like hell that her missing isn't because of me. Have Jenna call her brother, Thomas. I'll check in shortly."
My body ached, but I ignored it, pushing harder on the bike until I pulled up to her place. I ran from the bike to her door, popping the lock and hoping that I'd find her half-dressed and pissed as a hornet about me breaking into her place.
"Grace? Kitten?" I walked through the house, finding everything in place. "Damn." I jogged back down and found her car in the parking lot, which was even more reason to panic. Where the hell could she be?
Nate called a minute later. "Thomas has no clue, dude. We need to track her phone."
"It was sitting in her kitchen, Nate." I ran my fingers through my hair and pulled. "Goddammit. I swear if anything happened to her, I'll kill everyone involved."
"Walk me through what happened yesterday, man. You went over there and what? Did you talk about her being pregnant?"
"Yes, but my father's maid has been giving me Vicodin, dude. I was out of it yesterday. I faintly remember you coming by, but not much more."
"You shot at me twice, you cock." He didn't sound too thrilled.
"Foreplay, Nate. Get over it." I let out a breath I was holding. "We have to find her. I'll go back by the library."
"Find Cole. He'll know where she's at."
The idea alone chapped my ass. "And why would Cole know where my girl is, Nate?"
"Dude, I don't know why the cop has a hard-on for you, okay? He's watching your back non-stop. That's why he knows where she is. He's been treating her like a little sister since you guys became a thing. Sue him, but don't hate him. He's on your side."
"But why?" I screamed into the phone, gaining some odd looks from a couple of older women who walked by.
"Find Cole, Erik. Stop worrying about the why and let's just find him and Grace."
"Fine, but this shit isn't over. When everything is settled, I'm tying his ugly ass up and beating him until he comes clean on what the fuck he's up to."
"Deal. I'll help."
"Liar." I dropped the call and drove back to the library to find that Grace hadn't come in still. The older woman at the front desk appeared worried. It would seem that Grace hadn't been late to work but twice in three years, and had never missed a shift.
"Where are you?" I walked around at the base of the stairs that led to the library and tried to call Cole again. It went straight to voice mail. "Fuck." I did the one thing I didn't want to do. I called my father.
"Erik."
"Dad. Where's Cole? I need to talk with him."
"He's here, son." My father's voice was cold, detached.
"Alright. I'll be there shortly."
"Fredrick Carrington has a daughter that we'll be holding as collateral for his missing payment." He cleared his throat. "I don't want you taking the girl though."
"Alright. Then why are you telling me about it?" I sounded a little more asinine than I should have.
He chuckled. "Because this will be your syndicate soon, Erik. You need to know the inner-workings of what's going on. Thomas Adams owes us a chunk of his flesh but seeing that you let him live, we're going take our payback in a different manner."
"Thomas is a pussy. He's not going to take the girl if that's what you're thinking."
"Sure he is, Erik. Every man has something that matters to him. You just have to find what it is, capture it and threaten him with its vitality. If he fucks up or doesn't do every last thing I ask him to do, then his college career will be ruined."
I let out a long exhale. "Thomas cares about his degree more than anything else?"
"Yes."
"Above his sister?"
"Yes, son. She's not his greatest weakness. She's yours."
Something in his voice made my blood run cold. "What have you done?"
"Nothing that you won't one day do too. Come home. Let's talk about our next steps." His voice almost held a chuckle to it.
"I'll kill you if you touch her!" I screamed into the phone as any semblance of hope drained out of me.
"No son. That's not the way the game is played. Leverage is the best weapon for battle, and you don't have it on me. Everything I love was taken from me years ago, you included." He cleared his throat. "This syndicate is all I have, and you will honor it, grow it and make it your own when I'm dead."
"I hate you."
"And I hated my father too. Come home and let's figure out where we go from here."
"Do you have Grace?" I pressed my fingers to the bridge of my nose and prayed to whoever might be listening above.
"You know I do, Erik. Come get her." The phone went dead, and a scream ripped from me that left my vision dimming. He had my woman. And my baby. There was no plan other than to massacre him.
The man who raised me. Who held me during my mother's death? Who tucked me in at night and promised to always take care of me.
The man I loved and in some way always would.
****
I drove out to my father's place with every possible situation running through my head. I would have to play the villain once again. There was no getting
around it. I couldn't help but wonder if Cole was involved. If he were working with my father to make all of this shit fall into place.
After turning the corner a little too fast and almost losing control of the bike, I pulled into my father's driveway and got off of the bike, putting a bullet in the heads of three of his guys as I walked through the house without a care for my own safety.
I'd never run the syndicate. Once my father was dead, so was his precious mafia family. I'd kill anyone who disagreed and let the rest roam free. There had to be peace somewhere at the end of the long road before me. I refused to think anything different.
"Dad?" I called out and pressed my back against the wall just outside of his office.
"Come on in, Erik."
I opened the door and lifted my gun, walking in to find him standing behind Grace. Her mouth was bound and eyes wide with horror as her makeup dripped down her beautiful face. He had his arm around her, his fucking hand on her stomach.
"Let her go. Now!" I let a shot go off just beside his head, scraping his ear.
Grace screamed and shook in his arms.
"Stop that. You're scaring her." He lifted his gun and pressed it to the side of her head. "She's in the way, Erik. She's going to be the death of you."
"Then I'll die happy." I let off another round. Hitting him in the shoulder. "I'm the best sharp shooter you got. You're playing a fucked up game right now." The emotions running through me were enough to make me wish for my death, but that would come soon. I had no doubt. My only concern was to save Grace and our son. They came first and always would.
"Then choose, boy." He pressed his cheek against Grace's and whispered something into her ear as she cried out and shook harder, her sobs causing her little frame to twitch violently.
"Stop it," I barked out. "This doesn't have to end like this. You had mom. Why can't I have Grace? What the fuck does it matter to you? She's not yours to keep safe. She's mine!"
"And you'll lose her, just like I lost your mother." My father glanced up, his steely eyes filled with so much regret. "I'm so tired, Erik. I'm tired of being a monster, and yet every time I let my guard down, death crept in during the night and stole my woman, my baby girl." He rested his chin on Grace's shoulder as she continued to cry. "I've heard your sister’s screams in my head since the day they took her." He closed his eyes and let out a soft cry. "You know how?"
Doctor Feelgood: (A Bad Boy Doctor Novel) Page 67