by Kay Maree
“Abby and Rosa.” Lifting my foot from the ground, I raised my leg and kicked the car that I had just been under. Snatching my keys off the bench behind me, I shoved past Cameron and pulled my workshop door open. I could hear him calling out to me but answered him with just the flipping of my middle finger. “RUBY! Wait!”
“Go to hell Cameron!” Reaching my car, I turned to look his way and stopped dead seeing Freddie standing behind him. Taking a deep breath, I look away. “Keep him the fuck away from me or so help me God, nothing you have seen will compare to the hell I will bring your way! I mean it. I want nothing to do with him! He is dead to me!” I didn’t miss the look on Freddie’s face at those words. Opening my car door, I got in and put the keys in the ignition, starting it up. Pulling out of my space, I left the compound in about five seconds. I didn’t even stop to look that nothing was coming as I left the driveway. Stupid move on my part, but I had to get out of there. Freddie was as toxic as they come. I couldn’t be pulled into that again. I was surprised that JD hadn’t pulled the mother of all bitch fits when he found out. He had tried to kidnap his girl after all. I could feel the tears building and tried to blink them back. No. He couldn’t win like this. I had cried too many tears over him already. I couldn’t keep doing it. Just because he was back, it didn’t mean shit for us. I was out of town as soon as I could pack my bag and leave. Pulling into my driveway, I took my keys out of the ignition and went inside. Heading straight for my bedroom, I moved to my closet and took my suitcase down. Putting it on my bed and opening it up, I began chucking clothes and boots in there. I had no idea where I was gonna go and right now, I didn’t care, I just needed to get out of this town. I could semi deal with this shit when I knew I wasn’t about to turn a corner and see him but now that he was back in town, I needed to not be. I wouldn’t make Cameron choose between him or me. I was going to make that decision. I went into the bathroom and grabbed my makeup case, my toiletries and anything else I needed in there and put them into my suitcase before closing it up. Unplugging my charger from beside the bed and made sure my house was locked up, which being a single woman who lived alone I had that shit like Fort Knox, and wheeled my suitcase to the front door. Opening it up and seeing JD standing there, about to raise his hand to knock, I stepped out and locked my front door.
“Going somewhere, Ruby?” He asked me, sounding confused.
“Yep! As far away from here as I can get. Pass that on to Raven for me. Consider this a leave of absence.”
“When are you coming back?”
“When hell freezes over.”
“Okay...”
“What are you doing here JD? You have never been here before, why is today of all days different?” I knew the answer to that question. I wanted to know though, on whose orders brought him to my doorstep or if he was here of his own accord. From my knowledge, Raven was the only one who knew about mine and Freddie’s relationship. He and I decided early on that we were going to keep this quiet in case it didn’t work. I didn’t want the rest of the club to think I was sleeping my way into the club. I wasn’t part of the table for big decisions or anything as I wasn’t one of the main ten that started the club, but I didn’t even want to be at that table. These boys had become like a second family to me though and made it feel like home.
“I just...”
“Just what? You have never been here before JD, why now? Just spit it out.” Moving to the trunk of my car, I put my key in and unlocked it. Lifting my suitcase and putting it in, I closed it again and rest my hand against it, the other resting on my hip. “Did you know?” He nodded and I had to keep from punching something.
“Not until it was too late though. We got to the location the girls were being held at and Raven told us he pulled Freddie in to help save Rosa, he had no other choice. Corey was hell bent on saving them both, but it wouldn’t have worked. We needed Freddie. He is the only one who has the stealth and accuracy to be able to take the shot to take out Paul. Raven has been torn up about this since he made the call. Please, I know it’s a shit situation he has put you in and believe me, Ellie wants to nut Raven for dragging him back but please don’t be too hard on him, Raven feels like shit about this.”
“It’s not the call that he made, JD. I get that he makes tough calls as Pres and sometimes we aren’t going to like them but right now, for me, it’s him not telling me until now that has pissed me off. I don’t know how much you know or what Cameron has told you, but I have been in a really bad place since all that shit went down with him and Ellie. I didn’t deal well with it and I’m still not but I was just starting to be happy again and now he is back. Being blinded with this is the last thing I needed. Do me a favor?”
“Depends what it is, but okay?”
“Tell Ellie I am all for her nutting Raven.” He cleared his throat and nodded.
“Noted.” I moved to get in my car, JD stepping away as I reversed out of my driveway. Heading for the edge of town, I wanted myself as far away as I could before nightfall came and I needed to stop for the night. Once morning came, I would keep going. I had no plan but I did have a tank full of gas and money. I had everything I needed.
CHAPTER THREE
Freddie
I knew coming back to Fernando would be a mistake, but until I saw the look on Ruby’s face and those words leave her mouth, that I realized just how big of a mistake it was. Had I of known that Raven didn’t tell her that I was back, I would have handled this a lot differently. A lot of people weren’t happy with me being back in town or him for pulling me back, but desperate times called for desperate measures.
“Fuck!” Raven moved back to me after watching Ruby race out of here like she had the devil on her back. He ran his hands over his face and looked like he was ready to hit something. Hell if he wanted, we could go down to that ring and he could go all in on me for all the shit that I have put him through. He knew that I wasn’t back to hurt anyone. I wanted to make amends for what I did and who I hurt. Rather than seeking help when I knew I had a problem, I let it get out of my control and hurt the one person I cared about. Not to mention my brother and his girl. Did I love Ellie? Sure, once upon a time I had, I knew we didn’t work though. My biggest regret was Ruby getting caught up in all of that. I wanted to get myself clean before I tried to contact her and explain but I think I had left it too late.
“I’m sorry, Raven, I shouldn’t be here. I should have stayed home.”
“It’s not your fault. I should never have kept this from her. She should have been the first person to know that you were coming back.” He pulled out his phone. “Maybe I can get JD to talk to her. If anyone understands her anger, it will be him and Ellie.”
“I’ll try not to take that personally.”
“I’m not gonna sugar coat things for you, Freddie. You fucked up badly. You pissed off the boys for not coming clean with us all sooner, you fucked with Ellie so you are always gonna be on JD’s shit list, and Ellie, well no explanation needed there. Ruby took all this the hardest though. Our guys are forgiving when it’s one of our own so you may be able to gain back their trust, but Rubes, well you heard her.” He let out a sigh before moving inside. I followed him and it took all I had not to go to the bar and swipe the bottle of Jack that was calling my name. Instead I followed him to his office and sat down in front of him. “I’m gonna ask you this once, are you sure you are okay to be back?”
“Honestly, I thought coming back would be a mistake and now that I’m here that feeling is getting stronger, but not because I am gonna relapse or anything. Just from the damage I have done.”
“That doesn’t answer the question.”
“Yes, I am fine to be back. Isolation and solitude have done me wonders.” He gave me a skeptical look.
“Right just know if you pull that shit again though, I will kill you myself.”
“Noted.”
“Please, do me a favor though, stay away from Ruby. She needs to wrap her head aro
und all this.” I nodded and he seemed to relax a little. We chatted for a little while about my rehab and what my sponsor thought about me coming back but the truth was, we always knew I would be back here. MC life is all I know and I wouldn’t know how to survive without it. I knew Raven would keep me on the straight and narrow now that he knew but more than that, it was Ruby. I owed it to her to clean up my shit. I had been toxic for her. The sound of Raven’s phone going off pulled me from my thoughts. He put it on loudspeaker.
“How’d you go?”
“Dude, she’s gone.”
“What?”
“I got there and she was leaving the house with her suitcase. Didn’t say where she was going or for how long and to be honest, I didn’t ask considering the circumstances, I don’t blame her. She told me to tell you to consider it a leave of absence.”
“Wait is he talking about Ruby?” Raven nodded and I cursed. Well fuck!
“Thanks for trying, JD.”
“Want me to come back?”
“Nah go home. Ellie could use you there more than we need you here.”
“You mean you need me there more?”
“No, what I need is for you to keep her from killing me.”
“Isn’t that the same thing?”
“Yeah, I guess.” I listened to the conversation between Raven and JD but all I could think about was how I can make this right if she wasn’t here. Buying her presents and shit wouldn’t work. Ruby couldn’t be brought. She was an action speaks louder than words and money can. Raven sat his phone on his desk and just watched me. “I know what you are thinking. We just need to give her the space she has asked for.”
“What other choice has she given me?”
“You didn’t think that you were gonna be able to come back and just sweep her off her feet did you?”
“Well no but...”
“But what? You fucked her over and destroyed her. I’m surprised that she has been able to drag herself out of bed and function like a human being. She was just starting to smile again and I bring you back. This was in no way gonna be easy. Yes, you now have brownie points with Corey for helping to save his sister and his girlfriend and Toby if we let his vote count for anything, but before you think about things with Ruby, bro, I suggest you start trying to fix the other ones around you.”
“Do you regret bringing me back?”
“No, I don’t. You helped to save both of my sisters. I will never regret that choice. Just be patient okay? Everyone will come round eventually.” All I could do was nod. He was right and I just had to trust him. He wouldn’t have brought me back if he didn’t think it would be okay.
“Okay, well I am gonna take off.” I stood up.
“I am putting it to the table in a few days. I will let you know the outcome when I know.”
“Thanks.” I left his office and headed down the hall back to the parking lot. Thankfully I didn’t run into anyone on my way back to my bike. I was gonna try and stay out of everyone’s way for now.
CHAPTER FOUR
Diesel
It took a couple of days of driving before I finally stopped to do more than sleep. Once I started driving, I knew where I needed to go. Unlike all the boys, I hadn’t grown up in Fernando. I was seventeen hundred miles away from home and I was long overdue for a visit. Could I keep my brothers from wanting to go and kill Freddie? Probably not, but I could slow them down. Pulling up in the driveway of my childhood home where my parents still lived happily, not aware of the shit that I had gotten myself into, I got out of the car and stretched. My body would be thanking me for the long break it was about to get out of the car. The front door opened and I hear barking before this huge fur ball of a dog comes running at me. Laughing as Bear rounds the car, he almost knocks me down. “Hey buddy! Miss me did ya?” I scratch him behind the ears and grab hold of his collar so that he can’t run away. Not that he was that kind of dog but in his excitement, who knew what he was gonna do. The last thing I needed was for him to run out on to the road and get hit by a car.
Looking up and seeing Mom up on the porch, I let him go. “Go get Mom! Go on Bear, go get her.” He barked at me and just sat down beside me. “Or don’t. That’s cool too.” I moved toward the house and up the porch steps.
“This is a nice surprise. Why didn’t tell us you were coming home?”
“It wouldn’t be a surprise then, would it?” I reached out and gave her a kiss on the cheek before hugging her.
“Do the boys know you are home?”
“Mom, that would mean they could actually keep a secret which we both know they can’t.” She just laughed and hugged me a little tighter before letting me go.
“Come on, Dad is out the back. He was just saying the other day that he missed you.”
“I know, it’s been a while since I have been back home. I will do better, I promise.”
“You are a grown up, Ruby. You don’t need to come home if you don’t want to.”
“I know, Mom, but I need to. I miss you guys.”
“Are you sure you are okay? You would tell me if you weren’t, wouldn’t you?”
“Of course I would. I’m okay, really. Just needed a Nashville fix for a few days.” Thankfully she didn’t press the issue anymore but something told me we would be talking about this again soon. We went out the back to where Dad and my oldest brother Dom were arguing about something. Dad turned and saw me with Mom.
“Ruby!” He and Dom got up and moved to give me a hug. Dad’s lasting longer than Mom’s did. To be honest, I all but clung to him. I had always been a daddy’s girl growing up and preferred his hugs over anyone’s. When I wasn’t feeling well, it would be Dad who took care of me. He pulled back, his hands resting on my shoulders, brow raised. “We are gonna be having a chat later, kid.” Well fuck. I nodded and moved to sit down where they were just sitting. Looking up at the TV, I saw NASCAR’s on.
“How’s Oscar doing?” I asked. My second oldest brother Oscar drove for one of the best racing teams and had won quite a few championships.
“Take a look for yourself.” I watched and it didn’t take me long to see that he was in trouble.
“What the hell?! Why is he running with that set up? It’s all wrong.”
“Thank you! Your brother over there thinks he is fine.”
“Not if he wants to win, he isn’t. He may just scrape through if he is lucky, but you can see that they are already starting to cover ground.”
“Oh what would you know, Ruby!” I raised a brow before leaning over and punching him. “Ow! What was that for?”
“You are a jerk Dom! You’re just jealous your baby sister knows more than you do about racing!” Dad just laughed.
“Now kids, you behave yourself or I will turn it off. Ruby, don’t pick on your brother and to answer your earlier question, his crew chief made the call to run this. Oscar was furious when he did his test run today. It was too late to change it though so he had to run it.”
“Fingers crossed he can make it work then!” For the rest of the afternoon, we watched Oscar’s race and were joined by Jack after he finished work. I tried to help Mom in the kitchen but she wasn’t having it. She kept sending me outside to sit with Dad and the boys. Oscar narrowly clutched the race victory but it wasn’t his best time so far. I pulled my phone from my pocket to text Oscar our congratulations and saw a text from Cameron checking in that I was okay. Excusing myself from everyone, with the excuse that I was going to get my bag from the car, I called Cam when I got out the front.
“Hey.”
“I’m just calling to let you know that I’m safe and well.”
“Any reason you didn’t text that?”
“I thought you would believe it if you heard my voice as I said it. Texts can come from anyone. You have always asked us to call.”
“Ruby...”
“Don’t Raven, I don’t want to hear it right now. I just need a few days okay?”
“I can respect that. Take as much time as you need. As long as you are safe.”
“I am.”
“Not gonna tell me where?”
“Nope.”
“Okay, I will respect that too.”
“Thanks, Boss.”
“I fucked up didn’t I?”
“Yep but lucky for you, I can forgive you easier then I can forgive others.”
“I’m glad to hear that. Check in a few days. I will make sure everyone leaves you alone ‘til you come home.”
“Thanks, Boss. I appreciate that.” After saying goodbye, I grabbed my suitcase from the trunk of my car and went back inside. When I hit the door, my dad was there to take it from me and take it to my room. It felt good to be home.
CHAPTER FIVE
Freddie
I had two choices. I could sit around the house, depressed because she had left town or I could pull on my big boy boxers and start fixing the damage I had caused. Ruby was number one in my eyes but I promised Raven that I would give her space so next on my list of epic fuckups was JD and Ellie. I mean, I did try and kidnap her after all. Pulling up out the front of their house, I shut my truck off and got out. As expected, I was met by a very pissed off looking Jason. Straightening up, I kept moving forward. I wasn’t going to back down now. If I couldn’t handle these two then I may as well just leave town because there was no way that I could front Ruby. Every time I think about the hurt I caused her, it made my chest ache. I felt like shit for what I had put Ellie through but Ruby killed me.
“I was wondering when you would show up.”
“Ellie home?”
“Yep and she can hear you from right there so don’t get any ideas about going any further than that.”
“Really? You want to have this conversation out here in the open for all your neighbors to hear? Want to find out what Raven thinks about that?”
“Fuck off and tell him then. He is the one who got you back here. He can deal with you. Ruby was lucky. She got to get the fuck away from you.” Awesome. This was going to much harder than I thought.