by Laura Landon
No matter what she decided, the choice she made would haunt her for the rest of her life.
He braced both hands against the terrace railing and hung his head between his outstretched arms. He understood her motives, understood why she was determined to believe Penderly was the villain. If he wasn’t, that meant she’d be forced to give Jonathan over to him. Forced to share Jonathan with grandparents who would love him equally as much as she did.
Refusing to see Penderly’s innocence would leave her equally as scarred. Knowing that she’d deprived Jonathan of the title and wealth that was rightfully his would haunt her ever day of her life. Her selfishness would eat away at her until there was no escape from what she’d done.
But Austin had sworn to let her decide what to do and he intended to live with her decision. For now.
His blood turned cold when he thought of what he’d be forced to do if she made the wrong choice. His heart stuttered when he thought of how she’d hate him.
He pushed himself from the railing but stopped when Harrison spoke from behind him.
“She’s a unique young woman,” he said as he made his way across the flagstone to where Austin stood. “I like her.”
Austin looked at his brother with raised eyebrows. “If you’re waiting for me to say that I like her, too, you’re going to be disappointed.”
Harry laughed. “You don’t have to say the words, Austin. One only has to see the two of you together to know how you feel about her. Besides, I saw the two of you earlier.”
Austin felt the blood rush to his head. “If you’re talking about the kiss, it meant nothing.”
“I’m not a fool, Austin. But you are if you won’t admit your feelings for Miss Bentley.”
“We enjoy each other’s company. That’s all. She and the babe are in need of a protector and I’ve sworn to do everything in my power to keep them safe.”
“My question is, who is going to keep Miss Bentley safe from you? And, who is going to keep your heart safe if Miss Bentley chooses to make her life with the babe instead of with you?”
Of all the ridiculous things for Harrison to wonder about, this was the most preposterous. How could he even hint that she might contemplate a life with him? How could he hint that Sarah would consider walking away from Jonathan?
“How sure are you that Penderly isn’t behind the attempts on the infant’s life?” Harrison asked.
“Sure enough that I’d stake my life on it.”
Harrison let out a long, low whistle. “What are you going to do if she refuses to agree with you? The babe is the heir to an English peerage. He’s the last of the line. You can’t let her take the infant away.”
“Do you think I don’t know that?”
“But you promised her—”
Austin stopped Harry’s words with a swipe of his hand. “I know what I promised her. Do you think I don’t?”
“Ah, Austin. You’re in a tough position. Caught between doing what’s honorable and losing the woman you love, or—”
“Love has nothing to do with this. Nothing.”
Harrison turned his head and caught Austin’s glare. “If it doesn’t, perhaps kissing the lovely Miss Bentley is part of your plan. I’m sure she’ll be much more inclined to make the correct decision if she thinks you’re in love with her.”
Austin’s temper exploded. “You’re lucky you’re my brother or I’d plant my fist in your face.”
A sad smile lifted the corners of Harrison’s mouth. “That’s what I was afraid of.”
For several moments the two brothers stood side by side, each looking out into the garden. “So,” Harrison said, interrupting the silence, “what are you going to do?”
Austin took a deep breath. “In the morning, I’ll send Penderly a message asking him to call on us in the afternoon. Miss Bentley will be in attendance, and you, if you don’t mind.”
A frown covered Harrison’s face. “Of course, but may I ask why you want me there?”
“Because I trust your opinion. Perhaps you will see something I’ve missed.” Austin leaned one hip against the railing. “Someone is trying to kill the babe. I don’t believe it’s Penderly, but maybe I just can’t believe he’d want to kill his own grandson. I need someone impartial to tell me what they think.”
“And you don’t trust that Miss Bentley’s verdict will be right?”
“I think her verdict will be just as prejudiced as mine.”
“Very well. I’ll sit in on your meeting with Penderly. But if I’m not convinced he’s innocent, I won’t be any help to you.”
Austin smiled. “That will be more helpful than you can imagine.”
“Very well.” Harrison pushed himself away from the railing and walked toward the house. “Get a good night’s sleep,” he said. “You look like you need it.”
Austin didn’t argue. He needed sleep. He was bone tired. But he wasn’t going to get much sleep again tonight. He doubted he’d get any sleep until this was all over.
And if things went badly, his sleepless nights would never end.
Chapter 16
Sarah slept much later than usual. Perhaps the restless hours she’d spent reliving Austin’s kiss had something to do with the endless hours she’d been unable to fall asleep. Perhaps knowing that today she would come face to face with the man who’d tried to kill Jonathan had kept her awake. The reason wasn’t important. It was late when she fell asleep and late when she awoke.
Bertie helped her dress then fixed her hair, and when Sarah was ready to face the day she followed a footman to the dining room.
Austin and Lord Etherington were already seated at the table eating breakfast when she came down stairs. They both rose when she entered.
“Good morning, Miss Bentley,” Lord Etherington greeted. “I hope you slept well.”
Sarah blushed. “I slept very well. But I must apologize. I never sleep so long.”
Before she took her second step into the room, Austin was at her side. “You needed the rest,” he said. “The last few days have been exhausting.”
Sarah met his gaze and her heart tripped. His effect on her was always the same. Just being near him sent electrifying emotion spilling through her.
Austin led her down the long table to a chair at the earl’s right. She sat in the chair he pulled out for her and watched as he walked to the side bar and filled a plate for her, selecting more food than she’d ever be able to eat. The smile on his face when he set it in front of her told her he knew as much.
“Have you sent the message to Lord Penderly?” she asked when he was settled in the chair beside her and she’d eaten a few bites.
“Yes, an hour ago. I sent a footman with a message asking Penderly to join us this afternoon.”
She set down her fork, her appetite suddenly gone.
“Does that meet with your approval?” he asked.
“Not meeting with him at all is the only choice that would meet with my approval. But you already know that.”
“Yes, I do. And you know that’s impossible.”
She lifted her napkin from her lap and placed it on the table beside her plate.
“You haven’t finished your food,” he said, glancing down at her nearly full plate.
“I don’t—”
“Sarah. The day will be trying enough without you attempting to endure it on an empty stomach.”
She issued him a warning look that softened immediately when she encountered his imploring eyes. Grudgingly, she placed her napkin back on her lap. He was right. Going without food wouldn’t do her any good.
“Austin tells me your father was a vicar,” Lord Etherington said. His attempt to smooth the rough waters was evident. “Have you any brothers or sisters?”
Sarah took a sip of coffee a footman had poured, then set her cup back in the saucer. “No, my lord. I had a younger brother, but he died at the age of three.”
“I’m sorry.”
“My mother and father took his death very h
ard. In fact, my father often said that Mother never fully recovered after losing him.”
Sarah moved her fork a few inches from her plate and when she looked up, she found Austin’s eyes locked with hers.
“I didn’t know you’d lost a brother,” he said.
She stabbed at a bite of coddled eggs. “I think perhaps there are several things you don’t know about me, Captain Landwell. As there as several things about you I don’t know.”
He nodded in acquiescence. “I think you’re right, Miss Bentley.” He looked at her. “Do you consider that a good thing?”
His face took on a studious expression as if he waited for her agreement. When she didn’t answer right away, a seductive smile lifted the corners of his mouth. She barely managed to control the surge of emotion it induced.
“I think it’s always good to learn more about people who…puzzle you,” she said.
He laughed. “I puzzle you?”
“Of course. I think you puzzle a great many people. Especially those who know you best.”
The Earl of Etherington laughed. “She has you there, Austin. How often has Liddy told you the more she knows you the more you confuse her?”
“That’s because Liddy is always trying to read something into everything.” He leaned closer to her. “Is that what you’re trying to do, Miss Bentley? Are you trying to dissect me to find all my faults?”
She gave him a look of mock surprise. “Why, Captain. I’m surprised that you admit you have faults.”
“You misunderstand, Miss Bentley. I didn’t admit to having faults. I asked if you were trying to search for a fault.”
Sarah tried not to laugh. But it was difficult. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d laughed. Couldn’t remember the last time she’d had such a lighthearted conversation. “A fault, Captain Landwell? As in one?”
“You wound me, Miss Bentley. Surely you aren’t insinuating that I have more than one?”
Lord Etherington laughed. “I think you’ve met your match, Austin. Miss Bentley is on to you.”
“Fine brother you are, Harry. Choosing sides against me.”
Austin tried to look wounded but she knew what he was doing. He wasn’t serious. He only wanted her to relax. He either wanted to shift her mind from Penderly’s visit later in the afternoon, or encourage her to feel a deeper connection to him so she would more readily accept Penderly’s story. Knowing his intention disappointed her.
“Perhaps when we finish, you could take Miss Bentley on a tour of the house,” Etherington said. “That will give her a better chance to discover your many faults.”
“Excellent idea, Harry.” Austin shifted his attention to her plate. “As soon as Miss Bentley samples more of the excellent food Cook prepared for her, I’ll take her to the long hall to see the lineup of our illustrious ancestors. I’m sure she’ll enjoy seeing our handsome family. And, it will give her a chance to witness my exemplary character and lack of personal faults.”
“Thank you, Captain Landwell. I would enjoy that.”
In truth, Sarah was desperate to spend time with Austin. But she also needed time away from him so she could think. She needed to prepare herself for Penderly’s visit this afternoon.
“Excellent,” he said, nodding for a footman to refill her coffee. “As soon as—”
Austin stopped when there was an interruption at the door.
“Excuse me, my lord,” Etherington’s butler announced. “But you have visitors.”
Etherington frowned. “At this hour?”
“Yes, my lord. It’s Lord and Lady Penderly. I showed them into the morning room.”
Sarah’s world shifted. She clenched her napkin and knotted it in her fist. Austin reached out his hand to cover hers.
“Thank you, Ruskins,” Etherington said. “Tell Lord and Lady Penderly we’ll be right there.”
“Yes, my lord.”
When Ruskins left, Etherington placed his napkin on the table and rose. “Austin, I’ll ring for tea and entertain our guests until Miss Bentley is ready to meet Lord and Lady Penderly.”
“Thank you, Harry.”
Sarah waited until Lord Etherington quit the room, then tried to speak—but no words would come. She knew she should say something, issue the demands she’d decided were necessary. But she couldn’t seem to gather her thoughts enough to put them into coherent sentences.
Every nerve in her body trembled in fear. She’d anticipated this, knew she’d have to face her nemesis eventually, but not yet. She wasn’t ready. She wasn’t prepared.
“Sarah, look at me.”
She turned her head and met his worried expression.
“Come with me,” he said, helping her to her feet. “Let’s go outside for a breath of air. It will give you time.”
He wrapped his arm around her waist and led her to the nearest door that took them outside. She stepped with him to the far corner of the veranda and when they were out of view from the windows, he turned her into his arms and gathered her to him.
“Oh, Austin,” she said in a voice she knew sounded weak and pathetic. But that’s how she felt—weak and pathetically helpless. She wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face against his chest.
The steady beating of his heart should comfort her—it always had, but today it frightened her. Today its powerful thundering reminded her of the major decision facing her and that they each wanted an opposite outcome.
She knew she should push away from him. Knew that separating herself from him was the only way she could remain her own person. But she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She needed his strength too much.
He held her for a few more minutes while he whispered words of comfort in her ear. “Stay strong, Sarah. Remember that you alone will determine Jonathan’s fate. That you alone will decide his future.”
She lifted her gaze and looked into his eyes. “Did you know Penderly was coming this morning?”
“No. I asked him to call this afternoon.”
“Did you know Lady Penderly was coming with him?”
He shook his head. “I thought he would arrive alone.”
Sarah took a breath of air that ached inside her breast. “I’m frightened, Austin.”
“I know you are. You have every right to be. Today won’t be easy for you. I know that.”
She made room between them and looked him in the eyes. “We can go away. We can get Jonathan and go far away. I have money. Enough money to take us far away from here. Away from England.”
“Sarah, no. Shh.” He pulled her to him and held her tight.
She wanted to fight him, wanted to escape the arms that held her tight.
“We can’t go anywhere. Jonathan is Penderly’s grandson. You have to know for sure whether Jonathan will or won’t be safe with him. Not knowing will haunt you forever.”
“Are you so convinced I’ll believe the earl? Are you that sure I’ll surrender Jonathan to him?”
“I don’t consider giving Lord and Lady Penderly a grandson that is rightfully theirs as surrendering. I only know that you will make the right choice.”
“And you think the right choice will be to give Jonathan to the Earl of Penderly.”
“If you are totally convinced that Jonathan will be safe with them.”
“And if I’m not?”
“Then you will keep Jonathan’s identity a secret. If after you meet the Earl of Penderly you still believe he’s a threat to Jonathan, I will take you and the babe where we will never be found.”
“You will go with us?”
Sarah’s heart slammed inside her chest while she waited for his answer. They could go away together, she and Jonathan and Austin. They could be the family she’d always dreamed of having.
She held her breath while she waited for Austin to answer. Finally, on a ragged sigh, he gave her the answer she prayed she’d hear.
“Yes. If you’re convinced Jonathan won’t be safe with Penderly, we’ll go where he’ll always be safe.�
�
Sarah staggered under the weight of his words. He was offering her a life!
“But, if you realize Jonathan will be safe,” he said, clasping her by the arms and looking into her eyes, “you owe it to Jonathan, and to Lord and Lady Penderly, to give them the heir they didn’t realize they had.”
Her heart squeezed painfully. She wasn’t sure she could go through with this.
“Everything will be all right, Sarah. I promise. No matter what decision you make, it will be the right one.”
“How can you be so sure?” she said through her tears.
“Because I know you. I know how much you love Jonathan. I know you’ll always do what is best for him.”
Sarah lifted her chin. “Are you sure you’ll be able to live with my decision? No matter what it is?”
Several long moments passed before he answered. “You will leave me no choice.”
He brought her up against him and held her a little while longer, then gently turned toward the house. “Come. It’s time.”
She nodded and turned to go with him into the house. They walked down the long hall to the room where the Earl and Countess of Penderly waited for them.
Before they entered, Sarah took a deep breath and told herself for the thousandth time that it was impossible Lord Penderly could convince her that Jonathan would be safe with him. She was sure because of everything Lady Fledgemont had told her.
She stepped through the open doorway and stopped. Austin stood close beside her, not touching her, but near enough that his presence made her feel safe. His support was there. His strength surrounded her.
Sarah felt the slight pressure of Austin’s hand against her back and stepped into the room.
“Ah, there you are,” Etherington said, gracing them with a smile that reminded her of one of the few smiles she’d seen on Austin’s face.
The men rose and Lord Penderly turned to greet her.
The breath caught in Sarah’s chest. At first glance, she saw an older version of Viscount Fledgemont. Even though Penderly must be a score older than his son, the similarities were startling.