Saving Him
Page 1
Table of Contents
Present Day: Chapter 1:
Present Day: Chapter 2:
Present Day: Chapter 3:
Present Day: Chapter 4:
Present Day: Chapter 5:
Present Day: Chapter 6:
Present Day: Chapter 7:
Present Day: Chapter 7- Gunner:
Present Day: Chapter 8:
Present Day: Chapter 9:
Present Day: Chapter 10:
Present day: Chapter 11:
Present Day: Chapter 12:
Present Day: Chapter 13:
Present Day: Chapter 14:
Present Day: Chapter 15:
Present Day: Chapter 16:
Present Day: Chapter 17:
Present Day: Chapter 18:
Epilogue (Sam):
SAVING HIM
Dedication:
To rape survivors.
To people who have lost their way in life.
To real love.
“Real power comes when we stop holding others responsible for our pain, and we take responsibility for all our feelings.” - Melody Beattle
Saving Him
Copyright © 2018 by Bry Ann
This book is a work of fiction, the characters, incidents, and dialogues are products of the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
ISBN – 978-0-9995318-2-2
Table Of Contents
Dana- 13 Years Old:
Present Day: Chapter 1:
Dana - 13 Years Old:
Present Day: Chapter 2:
Present Day: Chapter 3:
Dana-15 years old:
Dana- 15 Years Old:
Present Day: Chapter 4:
Dana- 21 Years Old:
Present Day: Chapter 5:
Dana- 22 Years Old:
Present Day: Chapter 6:
Present Day: Chapter 7:
Dana- 22 Years Old:
Present Day: Chapter 7- Gunner:
Present Day: Chapter 8:
Dana- 22 Years Old:
Present Day: Chapter 9:
Present Day: Chapter 10:
Dana- 26 Years Old:
Present day: Chapter 11:
Dana- 26 Years Old:
Present Day: Chapter 12:
Dana- 26 Years Old:
Present Day: Chapter 13:
Present Day: Chapter 14:
Present Day: Chapter 15:
Present Day: Chapter 16:
Present Day: Chapter 17:
Present Day: Chapter 18:
Epilogue (Sam):
Social Media
Dana- 13 Years Old:
I could hear the pounding footsteps of my brother Logan storming towards my room before the door came slamming open. He had a bad day. It was always clear when he did. Logan is a lot of things, subtle has never been one of them.
The second the door flew open the smell of smoke overwhelmed my senses. I took in Logan’s six-foot-tall frame and instantly knew he had been on set all day. His shaggy blonde hair was all done up and his eyes were glazed over from staring at a camera all day long.
“Were you smoking?” I asked from where I was lying on my bed, letting my feet swing wildly.
He shot me an amused smile and sat down next to me.
“Yeah Dana, I was on set smoking my brains out. A combo of weed and cigs. I’m 15 stupid. The producers were smoking.”
“It’s not like you haven’t done worse on set before Logan!”
He rolled his eyes and stood up again. He hated it when I criticized his Hollywood lifestyle, but I didn’t care. I hated that he was involved in a world that changed him and took him away from me. Everyone pulled him in so many different directions it was really hard to get Logan to just be my brother anymore, a normal guy. I missed it so much.
“I got cookies!” I said as I went into my bedside dresser.
Once I had them in my hand I waved them in front of him. “And you look like you need to vent so we can make a deal. You get cookies and get to say what’s on your mind if you braid my hair again.”
I smiled. I loved when Logan braided my hair, because I knew I was the only person in the world he would do it for.
“Fine,” he rolled his eyes. “Sit down on the floor.”
I jumped off the bed, set the cookies on the dresser for him and sat criss cross at the foot of my bed. Logan sat above me, grabbed my hair and began to braid my hair in perfect tiny braids. What I loved more than anything is that my celebrity brother knew how to braid hair and did it for me willingly. We were both silent for a minute, but by the way he was yanking on my head I knew it was only a matter of time before he began ranting. Finally, I gave up on waiting for him to speak.
“Logan, Ow! You’re hurting me! What happened today?”
“Sorry,” he mumbled as he loosened his grip on my hair.
Then he proceeded to vent about girls, our parents, his producers, how much he hated being controlled and the increasing press he was receiving. When he was done he finally decided to ask about my life. I had been waiting on the edge of my seat to tell him my big news, but Logan always talked about himself first. Always. Selfishness sort of came with his lifestyle, and my parents encouraged it because he was “so important”. I always came second to Logan, because I’m average. I’m not rich, I’m not famous, I'm not a celebrity. It was infuriating.
“So, what’s new with you? We haven’t talk in a while.”
Before he could even finish his sentence, I jumped in and squealed.
“I have a boyfriend! A real-life boyfriend Logan! He’s so cute. His name is Damon, and oh my gosh he takes me to all these cute places….”
I kept gushing, on and on, as Logan stared at me darkly.
“Well, I need to meet him. I mean you’re only 13! Aren’t you a little young to date?”
“I'm too young?! You’re the last person to talk. You were probably hooking up with girls by the time you were 13!” I yelled defensively.
“Dana!” he groaned covering his ears. “Don’t say shit like that. Holy crap.”
“What? It’s true. You are being a hypocrite.”
“I literally cannot discuss this with you,” Logan said miserably. I giggled and spent the rest of the time daydreaming while Logan finished braiding my hair.
Logan was gone by the next morning. He had a shoot three hours away, well by car. It was really only a 20-minute trip though, because they sent a private plane for him. It was up in the mountains and he would be gone for two and a half weeks. I always hated when he went away. Being alone with my parents was like a jail sentence because I had to spend all my time in my room. They didn’t want to see me. I wasn’t their precious son and it always ended in a lecture about my looks, my weight, my goals, my friends, anything and everything I was doing that wasn’t up to par with Logan. My brother was good looking, charming and talented. I was just an average, normal thirteen-year-old girl. They couldn’t deal with that. It didn’t matter at the time, because I could. I liked myself. I wouldn’t have wanted Logan’s life even if someone offered it to me. I liked being thirteen and enamored with boys and clothes and gossip. My life was fun. Logan’s looked like it sucked.
Damon texted me and asked if I wanted to go to a diner by his house. His cousin was picking us up and I danced around my bedroom, so grateful for the escape from this God-awful house. Without Logan it was a prison. I asked my parents, and of course they didn’t care. It got me out of their hair for an hour or two.
I
tried on like twenty different outfits before I decided on a short sleeve pink dress with gold sandals. I put my short blonde hair in a ponytail and took one long look in the mirror to make sure I approved. Once I had some lip gloss on, I smiled at myself. I looked so cute. I had no hesitation when the blue sedan pulled up to the front yard and I jumped in the car. I wish I would have hesitated. Little did I know that one choice would change the course of my entire life.
Present Day: Chapter 1:
Gunner left me. It was the only thing I could think as I stared blankly at the letter he left anonymously in my mailbox. Of course, I didn’t need a signature to know it was him. Honestly, I could recognize his words anywhere. It would never take much for me to know it was him. I’ve seen him consistently for the better part of six years and become one of his closest friends, and he’s become one of mine.
I tried to bite back the burning in my heart as my eyes began to pulse. Now was a terrible time for me to fall apart. Sam was still in the hospital suffering the consequences of what she did to save me… because I tried to save Gunner and now he was leaving me alone! Anger shot through me and I ran into the safety of my room at the treatment center and cried. I wished I could throw things and yell at the top of my lungs but that would alert the staff and “processing” was the last thing I needed.
I’d cried my eyes out and ranted silently to myself and cursed Gunner to hell all night long. However, that morning I had to be at the hospital to help Sam pack up and avoid the press. She was finally getting released from the hospital after a hell of a lot of healing, a suicide attempt and a murder attempt- thwarted by Gunner. Heartache. I would be okay for her though. Despite how I felt on the inside, when I showed up at that hospital Sam was my priority. She was my sister, I didn’t care if her and Logan weren’t officially married yet. She was always my sister and I felt an instant bond with that stubborn, independent brunette from the first time I met her. She was the best thing that had happened to both me and my brother, and we were the best thing that happened to her since her mom passed away. Not to sound cocky or anything. What was most important was that my brother adored her, and she adored him too, even when she tried to deny it. They challenged the hell out of each other.
Unfortunately, Sam instantly knew something was wrong the moment I arrived at the hospital, and our time together ended in her giving me one of the best pep talks about love I’d ever heard. Ironically, it came from a girl who believed she wasn’t capable of loving anyone. Her talk was exactly what I needed to hear, and the affirmation I needed to go through with what I’d secretly been planning all night. That talk is what led me to Logan’s front door with a duffle bag and a plane ticket in my back pocket.
It always amazed me how I could dedicate virtually my whole life to therapy and dealing with my issues, and then get put in one tricky situation and it’s like I’d never even heard of the word self-help before. Staring at my brothers hardened, concerned face scared the shit of me. Logan was going to be pissed, beyond pissed. I let my goal focus me slightly, but I was so relieved when Sam popped in the doorway with a look of complete understanding on her face. She invited us both into the living room and whispered some motivational quote in my ear. To be honest, I didn’t hear what she said, but I was so grateful somebody understood and wasn’t judging me. I was sure as shit Logan was not going to understand this one bit. His protectiveness was understandable. He had to deal with the aftermath of my last and only “relationship”. I could understand him being concerned that the first time I fall in love with someone since Damon was with a known felon and drug dealer. Heck, I was concerned for myself, but I’d rather die than live with regret hanging over my head. I had to try.
Sam kept looking at me sympathetically as I stuttered my way through trying to explain my situation to Logan. He was beyond furious. He kept cursing and Sam continuously scolded him because my adorable niece was right around the corner. Seriously, that girl was like a Gerber baby in real life, with her beautiful hazel eyes and bright blonde hair that was always a mess all over her face.
After a few minutes of heated discussion Sam realized she needed to tend to Jazmine, and Logan and I needed a minute alone. She excused herself and gave me one last smile before walking out. Once I was alone with Logan I toughened up. He couldn’t boss me around anymore. I wasn’t his employee. I was doing this. I had worked hard to become independent and it was time he knew it. I gave him no option. He didn’t like it at all, but he knew he had to accept it. So, for my sake, and so Sam didn’t kick his ass, he did. He let me go. I gave him a hug and the second I had my arms wrapped around his waist he grabbed my cell phone and programmed an obscene amount of ICE numbers into my phone. So many that I joked ICE was probably defeating the purpose at this point because I had like fifteen options to choose from. He didn’t find it funny. He gave me a whole speech about safety and offered to get me security. I told him I’d rather slit my wrist than walk around with a staff. I immediately winced at the joke. I apologized, and my cheeks burned bright red. Logan gave me an understanding look and dismissed it. He still wasn’t over Sam’s suicide attempt. All the mirrors in their house were either blocked off or taken down, and he still watched Sam like a hawk. I didn’t blame him. That call from the hospital was the most afraid I’d ever been. When we found out Sam tried to kill herself it felt like our whole world had skidded to a sudden stop. Logan was particularly devastated and angry. He was furious at her for quitting, especially because he had just found out they had a daughter together. Everything changed when he annoyingly listened in on Sam and I’s conversation and discovered that the reason Sam tried to kill herself was the scarring she saw in the mirror. That’s when Logan softened. He really helped her, but neither of them was ready for the mirrors to be put up again after all that.
Sam is still completely broken after what happened. Who the hell wouldn’t be though? She’s still so strong. I envied her. I wish I had the quiet, sometimes not so quiet, strength she had. It was awe inspiring to see how she just kept going no matter how hard things got. She never quit.
When Logan and I were finally done talking I headed down the hall to say bye to Sam. The closer I got, the more my eyes welled up with tears. I couldn’t say bye to that girl. Sam amazed me. I whipped back around and told Logan to say bye to her for me and that I loved her. He shot me a curious look but nodded. Logan didn’t walk me to my car. He watched me leave, giving me my space. He looked at me with respect, and admittedly a bit of concern, but for once he was letting me be an adult and make my own decisions. I had spent almost a decade earning that trust and I was not going to ruin it. No matter how this little love quest turned out.
Dana - 13 Years Old:
I wouldn’t exactly say I am innocent. Not with a brother like Logan, or parents like the ones I had. However, I was never more aware of my age as I was when I crawled into that car with Damon and his seventeen-year-old cousin, Tanner. Damon had curly brown hair that I always found so endearing. His eyes were soft, and he was the exact opposite of everyone I lived with at home. That was one of the many reasons I found him so adorably perfect. His cousin Tanner was nothing like that. His cousin had sharp brown hair, that was bordering on red. His eyes were green but piercing. They said so much about his intentions without him ever having to open his mouth. I wanted to crawl right back out of the car the second I got in it, but something kept me glued to my seat. It was like ice took over my body. Instead of being smart and fighting or flighting, aka exiting the vehicle, I stayed glued to my seat and did nothing.
Damon seemed uncomfortable. Usually Damon pretended to be flirty and acted all overconfident. He totally wasn’t that way in real life, it was a funny act though. I found it particularly funny because I lived with someone who was the true epitome of flirty and cocky, not that Damon knew that. I tried to keep my brother a secret or at least somewhat on the down low, as did Logan.
Damon wasn’t like that today. He kept looking back at me with something that barely qualified f
or a smile and was fidgeting profusely. His cousin kept putting him on the back like they were in on some sort of secret and whatever it was clearly terrifying Damon. Whenever his cousin touched him his nervous ticks got worse.
“So, we are going to the diner?” I asked with a tremble in my voice.
His cousin whipped his head around to face me. “I’m Tanner. Damon’s cousin.”
“Hi nice to meet you,” I said sheepishly. “Hi Damon. How are you?” I turned to face Damon. My boyfriend. My first boyfriend.
My voice was stoic, as was Damon’s face when I spoke to him.
“Good. You?”
“Yeah, um, good. So, we are going to the diner… right?” I repeated desperately.
“Sure,” Damon mumbled. It was quiet, but loud enough for me to hear.
I should have done something then, but I didn’t. I froze wide eyed as I felt my ponytail scratch the back of my neck and my sandal’s dig into the back of my heels. I didn’t say anything when we turned onto a street I didn’t recognize or when I noticed Tanner’s eyes glistening brighter and Damon turning into someone I didn’t recognize. Someone scared. Timid. Someone who’s survival instincts were kicking in. I thought everyone had survival instincts but as I sat glued to my seat I realized maybe I didn’t. Maybe I was just as much of a letdown as my parents thought because I knew something was wrong and I wasn’t moving. There is fight and flight, but I learned that day there is also freeze, and that’s exactly what I did… I froze. That was until we got to the parking lot of a recently closed Mexican restaurant five miles outside of town. It wasn’t a sketchy place or a movie cliché, yet somehow that did nothing to curb my panic.
“Why are we here?” I squeaked out. “We are going to the diner.”
Damon looked at me with a look of pain and determination. “We’ve been driving for ten minutes in the complete opposite direction of the diner Dana. You know we were never going there.”