Consume Me (A Burning Desire Novel)

by R. F. Allie

  He turned from the shower without giving me the chance to respond.

  Chapter XV

  I had a bad day at work; despite my best efforts not to think about the controlling bastard I had in my life, every time I moved, I could only think about him, his caveman attitude. The relief I got from myself was moot, it was nothing compared to what I’d felt with him, no real orgasm to talk about.

  He drove me to work in silence, not one word, his face expressionless. I couldn't decipher his mood so I ignored him out of stubbornness.

  We worked throughout the morning on some new ideas for the restaurant. I tried to focus on my work and emerged in some communication drafting for the upcoming inauguration.

  Lunch with Liam and Brooke was a great, yet short distraction.

  I couldn’t comprehend how Landon could affect me the way he did. I felt empty without his touch; and secretly regretted my choice of not complying with his warning. It had been less than five hours since the shower incident, and I was constantly thinking about a way to find some relief like I was some sex addict.

  When David asked for someone to pick up some banners from the printer; I volunteered.

  I went straight to the printer; I used the slightest chance I had not to think about Landon and failed miserably. I headed to my bank and made the money transfer for the sculpture; they’d allowed me thirty six hours to send a check or transfer the amount. Then, I swung by the drugstore and got some emergency contraception. I finished a phone conversation with my doctor and made an appointment for next week.

  I found myself inside one of those luxurious sex shops. I wasn't in the mood to keep up with the charade and disturbing state of mind. A girl came straight offering to help me, she showed me lots of weird looking toys explaining each particularity.

  I chose the discreet gadget and shoved it in my purse. I picked up a coffee and hailed a cab back to work.

  Once I'd finished sending some emails and preparing the social network platform details with a venomous and unnerving Christy. I head to one of the individual bathrooms on the executive floor and used my new gadget for some release.

  I felt a little better, just enough for me to concentrate my anger towards Mr. Controlling and finish my work for the day. We were held out a little late by Eloise and David for some spreadsheet details. I wasn't the only one still struggling with the new system, but by the end of the reunion, it was a little clearer. We just needed some practice. I didn't feel defeated yet.

  I texted Jenna and Landon while walking to the subway with Liam and Brooke. We head to Mario’s bar; I’d managed to convince Brooke that he made the best cosmos in the city and she agreed.

  Landon and I hadn't talked all day, I missed him. I spent seventy two straight hours with him, so I thought it was normal. But there was no way I was letting what he did slide easily, I had my revenge planned.

  "Eloise told us you went to Paris. Tell me about it."

  Brooke and I were settled in one of the booths; Liam went to order the drinks.

  "Actually I used to live there; I just went to spend my last holidays."

  "Damn, you're so lucky, I mean I won't leave this city for all the money in the world, but damn if I wasn't totally jealous right now."

  It made me laugh, people are always fascinated with other places. I know I was lucky I had the chance to see so much of the world, but everywhere I’d went I heard people complaining about wanting to live elsewhere, Parisians dreamed about New York, New Yorkers about Paris, British about Los Angeles it has always been that way. I guess people needed to escape their reality, and let's not talk about the ones living in war zones and third-world countries.

  "Two martinis for the ladies and a beer for me."

  Liam sat next to Brooke and we started sipping our drinks.

  “I’ll never understand women; I thought you came here for cosmos.”

  He shook his head in disbelief. We’d settled on Martinis; turned out to be Brooke’s favorite. It was dry gin; a real martini.

  They looked like matching couples for a dating website ad, but acted like two best friends constantly teasing each other about anything and everything, especially the girls Liam dated.

  "I mean how can you screw up microwave popcorn? Seriously, I thought I was hallucinating when I heard the bang, the microwave was on fire and she was squeaking so loud I thought my ears were about to explode."

  Liam doubled over under Brooke’s glare...

  "Not funny Liam, try one with a brain for a change."

  "No way in hell, those will spend my money on heels and ruin our friendship, the two things I care most about, so I'd rather one who would suggest a threesome with you to one who would suggest I move out or change roommate."

  He told me that it was always the same, girls felt threatened by their friendship and he ended up choosing her, so instead, he avoided the drama dating girls who were mostly immature.

  "I mean if there was anything between us, we would've done something about it by now, we've been friends since middle school, and she's my only family."

  I didn't help notice some sadness in his tone, also Brooke's expression changed.

  I thought them really blind, even I could see it.

  I chose not to speak of it, and rather postpone it with Brooke.

  "Yeah I know what you mean, people kept thinking I was dating my best friend, even though he was gay, some of his exes thought either one of us was in love with the other. We didn't care much for them; you'll know when the right person comes in your lives and respect your friendship. One floor is all I can manage with my best friend right now, and whoever I'll end up with has to accept that."

  I confessed. It was true; wherever I’d end up, I won't be able to be there without Jude.

  We depended so much on each other, so we agreed that nothing will ever change, and that we'll always live next to each other and have at least two date nights.

  Thankfully, Ryan never denied us or nagged about it.

  It was a little past eight when we walked out of the bar, it’d been nice spending time with my colleagues and we agreed to find a way to make a habit of it and said our goodbyes. I searched for my phone inside my purse, and blinked at the number of missed calls from Landon, with two seemingly angry texts.

  I called him right away.

  He answered before the first ring even ended

  "Where the fuck are you and why haven't you been answering?"

  The shouts clanged my ears.

  “I sent you a text telling you I was going to have drinks with people from work."

  "And why haven't you been answering my calls?"

  I didn't succeed to get him to stop yelling.

  "I didn't check my phone, it happens!"

  "Where are you?"

  There was no way in hell I was seeing him tonight.

  "That is none of your business; call me when you calm down."

  "The hell it..."

  I hang up the phone before he ended his sentence. I wasn’t used to people controlling my life, at least, not anymore. My dad did that just enough for me to ruin our relationship, and Landon was getting on my nerves. I decided to walk it off around the block, not ready to go home yet.

  I mean the nerves!

  He thought he could order me around like I was some kind of slave. So what if I didn't wake him up this morning, it's not like I ran out on him. I went to get some exercise, and I get punished; left orgasm-less, frustrated and angry to a point where I had to resort to some battery-operated gadgets and now he was angry I missed his calls. It's not like I was going to get eaten by the loch ness monster.

  Walking around the corner of my building I saw his car and Calvin standing in front of it.

  Great!

  He must’ve been upstairs. I decided to get inside and stay at the boys. I really didn't want to get into a bigger fight.

  Frankly, my own judgment was clouded by what he had done this morning even more than the calls and the shouting. I didn't want it to tu
rn into a big fight, he was probably angry because I defied him.

  I knew he hated it more than anything.

  "Hello Calvin."

  I approached the car to talk with him and ask him to calm his boss.

  "Miss Dane! Are you alright?"

  He sounded worried.

  "Of course I'm alright Calvin; please just tell Landon that I'll see him tomorrow when he gets down."

  "Like hell you will Miss Dane."

  His voice came from inside the car and he opened the door.

  He was fuming, his jaw clenched extensively and his eyes dark, darker than the night sky above us.

  "Get inside the car Miss Dane.”

  I rolled my eyes at him, he was unstoppable.

  "I don't think so Mr. Davis!"

  I snarled tapping nervously with my shoe.

  "You have three second to get inside the fucking car before I shove you in it myself. Calvin start the car!" He was dead serious, but I wasn't caving.

  I turned my back to him and walked to my building.

  “Clea…”

  He warned.

  "Three."

  Yeah right.

  "Two... Miss Dane it's your last warning!"

  I turned my head just enough for him to see my go-screw-yourself look.

  "One."

  Before I realized what was happening. Landon toted me over his shoulders and shoved me inside the car.

  "Let go of me asshole."

  I was officially angry, hitting the hell out of his back.

  “Watch your mouth.”

  "Let me out of the car, now!"

  I bit out sending daggers through him.

  "Not a chance in hell, you were supposed to spend the night at my house and that is what you'll do"

  "You must be kidding me? I'm not getting forced into spending the night with you."

  "Why the hell not?"

  He prompted acidly.

  "Well for starters, I'm all kinds of angry at you right now, and maybe a little scared, so please let me out."

  All the anger on his face melted instantly, and let place to a far more disturbing expression, his face fell off at my admission and I couldn't understand what I felt at that moment.

  "You're scared of me? You think I'd hurt you?"

  He sounded ... mortified?

  I fell short of words to say! I wasn't really scared, I knew he wouldn't hurt me, not physically anyway. I knew I didn't want to see him tonight to avoid that exact situation.

  Truth be told; when I'm angry I tend to blurt out everything that crosses my mind, and I expected that any encounter between us would lead me to screw it up further than it already was.

  "Please Clea, answer me."

  I could hear the plea; his domineering tone went up in smoke.

  I looked into his beautiful eyes.

  "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that..."

  Well... here goes nothing

  "I mean, I am scared of you."

  Landon looked at me; confused.

  "I'm scared of the way you make me feel. I mean it's been barely a week and it has been so intense, I'm scared of the outcome. I don't think you'd hurt me, not physically. But I can't stop thinking that you might just do some damage more sustainable than a scratch on the leg."

  I had to take in a breath, I was really exposing myself. But, at that moment, I was reminded of the last time I was harmed in more than one way; by Caden.

  It was awful.

  He squeezed me and let out a breath.

  "You have no idea what you're talking about, if there's anyone capable of hurt; it's definitely not me."

  That was downright absurd.

  I couldn’t help my un-ladylike snort.

  "That’s insane. Look at you, look at me; you'll get bored of me. I have nothing on the excitement all those you dated before must have brought to your life. My life is very dull."

  I got closer and lowered my voice for his ears only.

  "I'm inexperienced in bed; I'm not really into your glamorous lifestyle. So how long do you think before you decide to get back to your exciting life and convenient arrangements?"

  He grasped my head between his hands and kissed me.

  "You don't see it do you? Everything we could be, all the possibilities; who did this to you baby?"

  What was he talking about?

  "What do you mean?"

  I was a little confused, not only by what he's implying but by the question.

  "I mean, who hurt you so profoundly that you won't recognize a good thing when it's right in front of you?"

  His voice was scrutinizing, but I wasn't ready for that conversation. It was more than I could handle at that moment.

  I offered a little shrug searching my head for a way to avoid this conversation,

  "No one, am I not entitled to my own fears of hurt and disappointment."

  "Of course you are, we all are, but we all have our reasons, and I want to know yours."

  He seemed to know what he was talking about, like he had been through something that affected him.

  "Tell me yours."

  I asked.

  It was either a way out of the conversation or a way inside the mystery that was Landon Davis; he was too-perfect-to-be-real.

  His face sobered, suddenly unreadable. For a second, I swear I could see a glimpse of regret in his eyes, but it disappeared as quickly as it had showed.

  That man, that beautiful gorgeous man, with all his wealth, his successful career and looks, had suffered from something; something that affected him, and motivated his way of life.

  I'd never seen it before, probably because I was too enticed with his looks or his body parts against mine.

  But he definitely had a secret.

  He'd never seemed to mind showing how his mother’s loss made him feel; but for some reason, that was much deeper and he was obviously not ready to talk about it.

  "Please stay with me tonight."

  He took my hands between his and brought them to his cheek.

  Something shifted inside me; somehow what had just happened changed everything.

  For the first time, in a really long time; I felt ready to just let go and enjoy the ride with Landon Davis.

  "Okay, let me pack a bag and I'll be back."

  I announced with a smile.

  "There's no need, Jenna already packed some things and if you need anything else Calvin will take care of it."

  He was smiling smugly from the corner of his mouth, just enough for me to know that he was relieved that I didn't say no, and that he, somehow knew it.

  Hence, the packed bag.

  I wasn't surprised he got my friend to get my stuff; Landon Davis never missed on any occasion to prove that he was always thinking ahead.

  Chapter XVI

  We hadn’t talked much after that. Landon had a long phone conversation with Alec Avery debating the Buenos Aires situation. He held my hand throughout the whole ride to his apartment. I just settled in his arms; thinking about the conversation I’d just had with him; conjuring my brain to decipher the meaning behind everything he'd said. He said that our relation was something good, that I could hurt him and not the other way around,

  Doubtful…

  The one thing I was sure of, was that he'd been hurt before by someone important in his life, family or girlfriend or something, and I was brooding; anxious to discover what it was. I didn't feel ready to talk about my past with him, and for that, I had wait for him to tell me about it on his terms; just like I would tell him about Caden.

  "Have you eaten something?"

  Landon got me out of my cogitation.

  I shook my head no. I was starving.

  I had been hindered throughout the day; I’d only eaten some pretzels over lunch, I couldn’t swallow anything.

  I missed him.

  "I thought we would have dinner after your drinks, so I waited for you."

  He winked at me and I felt a little guilty.

  "Ok, so what are you
in the mood for?"

  I asked him with a smile to match his own.

  "Well, if I could have it my way; I would probably get dessert, but since I'm on a sugar-free diet, the choice is yours."

  He was actually amused, referring to my excruciating punishment.

  Bastard.

  Two can play.

  I feigned disinterest, when in reality; I was damning myself once and again for making the wrong choice that morning.

  “Good for you, you're taking care of your health, I like that."

  I faked my approval; but still sounded disgruntled.

  "I'm glad you do Miss Dane."

  I actually liked it when he called me that way; it sounded sexy-as-hell.

  "It's late, but I'm craving sushi, can we take it to go and eat at your place?"

  "We most certainly can, baby."

  I grinned; I was starving for my favorite rolls.

  "I know just the best place. Calvin; could you please head to twenty-seventh and Chelsea?"

  "Right away Miss Clea."

  Calvin smiled from the rearview mirror.

  He was probably used to high-end places, but that little corner was a piece of heaven for me. I indulged in it every time I could. I’d discovered it three years ago with an ex-boyfriend and I never had sushi elsewhere if I didn't have to.

  "You can stay at the hotel tonight Cal, just be here by quarter to eight to take Miss Dane to work tomorrow."

  We were parked in front of his building. Of course, he had an apartment in the most expensive neighborhood of Manhattan; I just hoped it wasn’t the penthouse.

  It would’ve been a little over the top; he didn’t even live in New York.

  "You realize my office is like five blocks away, right?"

  There was no need for Calvin to come and pick me up; it would be faster on foot anyway.

  "I do, and I don't care. Let's go."

  He got pissy; his voice clipped.

  Probably because I paid for the food despite Calvin's attempts to dissuade me, while Landon was on the phone with Alec again.