Consume Me (A Burning Desire Novel)

by R. F. Allie

  He slammed the door gently and strode to the driver seat. I sat silent for a solid ten minutes; conjuring my mind to give me a reasonable explanation.

  From what I’d gathered from Jude; he didn’t know everything. But I had no freakin’ idea of what he did know. But he had to know that I’d dated my professor, and that he tried to force himself on me and what happened that night. It went without saying that Jude must’ve told him about Alyssa and the baby just to explain the police and ambulance that had barged inside my apartment that night.

  I’d woken up inside an ambulance with Ryan; I felt a pressure around my head. I’d injured myself pretty badly and with everything that had followed; I passed out.

  Ryan was holding my hand and stroked it gently shaking endlessly. I’d never seen him that worried. When I tried to speak; he’d begged me to keep still until we get to the emergency.

  In the hospital, I had some stitches and they asked me to spend the night. When the nurse came inside the room asking Ryan whether she should bring a rape kit or not; he’d stopped breathing for a while and turned to me unable to speak the words.

  I shook my head weakly; I hadn’t been raped, I was miraculously saved; but I didn’t know how. Jude came in a while later. His face was the translation of anger and guilt. I kept passing out and waking up throughout the whole night; the two of them never left my side.

  The following morning; my injury felt a lot better, less tingling and pounding. When I was getting ready to get home, the police came in to ask me some questions. I’d omitted anything about the attempt of rape at first which made Jude go ballistic on me. But they were focused on what happened to Alyssa; and since I knew nothing; I just explained that I’d gotten outside to my living room, found her lain in her blood, so I just tried to find the source of the bleed and woke her up before calling 911.

  The next week had been the week of revelation to me.

  Landon stopped the car in front of his building and walked out to get me out. We rode inside a silent elevator. He’d ignored me again during the ride. The only thing he’d said was that my friend had left the penthouse. I just nodded.

  Inside the apartment; it was all cleaned out. Nothing suggested a party had taken place just few hours earlier; but then again, it was probably better that way. It had been one of the happiest birthday I had in five years; I had a joyful mother, Jenna was living with me; Jude, Ryan, friends and colleagues. It was perfect.

  And Landon; my happiness had actually everything to do with him.

  I got upstairs to the master bedroom to pick up the rest of my things. I was resigned to just talk to him and leave.

  I picked up my coat from the walk-in closet; images of what we’d done inside it earlier haunted me.

  It was only then that I noticed women clothing. Not just some clothes that had been forgotten by some girlfriends of Landon.

  Dresses, shirts, jeans, handbags and a wide collection of shoes hogged half the space; all women’s. I blinked in disbelief.

  How hadn’t I noticed it earlier?

  One of the waiters had taken my coat when I‘d first arrived; and when I came up there with Landon, he’d ordered me to turn against the wall and stilled me there.

  It was intense and sexy and mind-blowing.

  I searched for my coat between the endless lines of outwear. They were all new; all tagged and untouched.

  “Do you like it?”

  I jumped up to the voice of Landon behind me; he swooped my curls to the side and brushed my bare back.

  Jolts of electricity ran through me and made me alert to his breathing, his touch.

  “You’ve been ignoring me.”

  I shut my eyes close feeling his thumb traveling down arm.

  “I know.”

  He breathed out.

  “It hurts.”

  I whispered; unsure whether or not I should’ve exposed myself to him despite everything.

  “I know.”

  He conceded again and pressed a kiss to the back of my neck.

  “I think we need to establish a new rule.”

  I frowned.

  A new rule? What for?

  I swallowed hard trying to form the words in my head.

  “You’re not breaking up with me?”

  I entertained the thought that if he wanted to make a new rule; then he might not break up with me.

  Landon turned me to face him.

  He scooped up my chin and brought me at eye level with him.

  A frown dressed the center of his eyebrows.

  “Break up with you?”

  He mirrored my words; his tone incredulous.

  “Do you have any idea what you mean to me Clea Dane?”

  His eyes turn dark, his voice stern and a little angry.

  “Do you have any idea what I’ve been through after what Jude had revealed to me?”

  He was definitely angry.

  I shook my head yes.

  “I know you must be disappointed; I’ll leave.”

  I pushed back the tears.

  He swore under his breath. His eyes blazed with exasperation and stilled me disabling me from any movement.

  “Disappointed?”

  He shook his head and took a calming breath.

  “You’re very ignorant for such a smart mouth like yourself.”

  I stared at him blankly.

  “It took every fiber of my being not to kill the bastard tonight; after what he’d put you through, what he said to Jude.’

  He shut his eyes as if he was in agony. I was just processing the words coming out of his mouth.

  He wanted to hurt Caden. No he wanted to kill him. All that anger I saw in his eyes, that disturbing grievance, it wasn’t aimed at me, it was all against Caden.

  I eyeballed him; unable to hide my surprise.

  Landon took another calming breath. When he looked at me; his eyes were soft and reassuring.

  “But I can assure you baby; from now on he will never, ever get near you or your friends again.”

  He pulled me to him and wrapped me in a bone-melting embrace.

  “What did you do?”

  I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know; the way he’d strode out of the car and inside the Emergency Room announced nothing but pure pity for the receiving part of that the conversation.

  But Caden deserved no pity.

  “Don’t worry about it; I just made sure that you are safe; and so will be Jude when the asshole drops the charges tomorrow.”

  I couldn’t help but grasp him and extirpate the life out of him.

  “Thank you. I’m sorry.”

  Landon pulled from me.

  “Never apologize for something you had no hand in.”

  He ordered softly, his eyes turned unreadable.

  “But that won’t stop me from adding a new rule.”

  His mood was suddenly playful; but still serious somehow.

  “Just to be safe from any further surprises.”

  He winked smiling.

  I returned a weak smile; still recovering from all the bad thoughts that had went through my shattered brain.

  “What is our new rule?”

  “Rule #7; No keeping secrets. I think it’s pretty simple; everything you think would be best left hidden in your life; I want you to think better of it and just tell me about it.”

  He was serious and maybe a little… amused.

  “What about you?”

  His face sobered.

  “It goes without saying; but just give me some time Clea.”

  I nodded slowly.

  “Is that a sign to acknowledge the new rule or to tell me that you’ll be patient?”

  “Both.”

  I smiled.

  “Good.”

  He sealed our lips together in a passionate kiss. It breathed the life back inside me; his kiss suggested that nothing had changed for him, that all my fears were just that; fears. I returned his kiss with relief and eagerness; all my bad thoughts flew away and left me with a
renewed hope and joy.

  He cut it short and gave me another squeeze.

  “So you didn’t tell me what you think?”

  Landon gestured to the general direction of the closet.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “It’s yours.”

  He announced

  I frowned.

  He nodded slowly and grinned.

  “Happy birthday baby. The clothes will fit, Melinda chose them; she had some help from Ryan, since he knows your taste.”

  I couldn’t believe it.

  “It’s way too much; I really need a veto. I can’t possibly accept this Landon.”

  His smile faded.

  “I told you there’s no veto; and you will accept and wear these clothes Clea; and that is final.”

  I opened my mouth to object but he silenced me with his thumb.

  “No discussion. It’s yours.”

  I nodded, not really convinced. But he was probably going to be in Chicago most of the week; he’s not going to be leaving his work to stay with me so I wouldn’t be wearing any of them other than when he’s here.

  I didn’t need him to do any more than he’d already done for me; he’d paid for the spa treatment; although the most impressive and beneficial one had been his massage. He’d planned an amazing party for me in his majestic penthouse.

  But most importantly, he got Jude out to sleep in his bed; and didn’t leave me even after uncovering the truth about Caden. I had absolutely no need for the extra clothes; I had enough to last me a lifetime. Ever since Ryan had gotten to my head about them; I’d been an unconventional shopaholic.

  I’d apply some of my mother’s rules for buying apparels; then I had all the dresses from Ryan and my rare vintages.

  The closet would’ve given shame to the best shops; it was beautifully and neatly organized from his side to what was announced to be my own.

  I’d seen lots of tags that made my heard just by imagining what two or three of them might’ve cost.

  Probably my first paycheck, and then some.

  Chapter XXIII

  I got inside the shower and washed off tonight’s bad events. Landon refused to come inside with me; he called me greedy and it made me laugh. The way he’d just made love to me gave another kick to my worries. He was gentle and amorous. His gaze never lest mine; and every time I witnessed the moment he unraveled in me, I got even more in love with him. It made my heart leap in my mouth.

  After I got down from my trance; I realized it was close to five. The sky started showing some light far behind the park trees. I wasn’t tired, despite all the events. We talked a little and I told him that what had disappointed me the most was that I didn’t hear him sing. He promised to make it up to me and then suggested I take a shower and join him to have my birthday cake as breakfast. I agreed happily and hopped in the master bathroom.

  I walked to his part of the closet and took out one of his tees and slipped it on with his boxers. I wasn’t comfortable with the clothes he’d bought me and also, I preferred his scent. I sent some texts to Jude, Ryan Jenna and my mom to reassure them. I didn’t want them to keep worrying when they woke up, and since I hadn’t seen them, I was sure they would be.

  I walked back downstairs to find Landon. The penthouse was truly gorgeous. To the left of the stairs; a beautiful glass door opened on a beautiful kitchen. Ultra-modern and fully equipped in Payne’s gray glass and timberwolf. It was gigantic and the minimalistic décor made it look even bigger. A tray with two glasses of milk and two plates with mouthwatering pieces of chocolate and red velvet were positioned on the counter; but Landon wasn’t inside.

  It was Uncle Keith’s recipe; it was my utmost favorite cake. When I’d visit Jenna’s family in San Diego; Uncle Keith made me one of those almost every day during my stay. I had to bribe Jenna to make me one when I was in Paris; but her father’s mastered it.

  I picked up the tray and walked to the living space. The room was a complete open space that gave on a large deck where we sat yesterday. I blinked at the image of the man lounged on the sofa and hugging a guitar.

  When he saw me; his grin broadened and he straightened himself. I was mesmerized and chose to lay the tray on the nearest table before I’d let it fall.

  I walked slowly towards him; I knew for a fact that he was wearing boxers, but he looked as one of those singers who posed naked with their guitar; I wanted to snap a picture and make a poster out of it.

  Landon motioned to the sofa facing him and I slipped on it. I had probably the most unique view known to mankind. Landon Davis hugging a guitar, his hair messed up and unruly.

  Bedroom hair.

  Behind him; a view on a deck strapped with wood that gave on central park; the city’ skyline, under red shades announcing the sunrise.

  Breath-cutting…

  “So Miss Dane; what do you want to hear?”

  He straightened the guitar. I remembered the musician that had congratulated him about it. It was in light and shining Brazilian Rosewood.

  I swallowed.

  Frankly, I didn’t want to hear anything, I just wanted to launch myself onto him and have wake-up sex without the sleeping part.

  It was that time of the day anyway.

  But Landon didn’t want to disappoint me; he was only doing it because I pouted about it earlier.

  “Cat got your tongue baby?”

  He was amused by my reaction; the sight of him had rendered me speechless.

  “I guess I’ll just play what I’d originally planned.”

  He nodded and hummed the strings twice.

  I was hypnotized, motionless and full of pure anticipation.

  Landon started playing the first notes; I was so taken by him. I couldn’t believe that he was doing it. He was Landon Davis. I’d learnt to accept what he was and who he was.

  I’d never expected him to play some guitar, not even in the confinement of his own home and just for me.

  When he started singing; I couldn’t figure whether to grin my happiness or just let me jaw drop as it wanted to.

  His eyes were focused; the way he moved his shoulders with each note was bewitching.

  “The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful

  Stop me and steal my breath.

  And emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky

  never revealing their depth.

  Tell me that we belong together,

  Dress it up with the trappings of love.

  I'll be captivated;

  I'll hang from your lips,

  Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above.”

  I knew the song; it took me a moment to recognize it. I was too focused on him to concentrate on what he was singing.

  He captivated me…

  His voice was like the gentle snow on Christmas evening; when you get out of your house and just let it fall to melt on your warm skin. It was soothing, warm and sexy. It sent shivers through my spine.

  He closed his eyes for mere second; he felt passionate and intoxicating.

  “And I've dropped out, I've burned up, I've fought my way back from the dead.

  I've tuned in, turned on, remembered the things that you said

  I'll be your crying shoulder,

  I'll be love's suicide

  I'll be better when I'm older,

  I'll be the greatest fan of your...

  I'll be your crying shoulder,

  I couldn’t be more in love with him than that exact moment. I didn’t know if the words were addressed to me; or why he’d chosen that song. All I knew was that Landon Davis was with me; he was mine and I belonged to him.

  He finished the last chorus and moved the guitar swiftly to the side. He moved to kneel in front of me; his expression was dark; full of lust.

  “Say it.”

  He ordered sliding his hand up my thighs.

  I frowned.

  “You were amazing. Thank you.”

  I kissed him lightly on the cheek.<
br />
  “That goes without saying; but that’s not what I want to hear.”

  I really didn’t understand what he was asking for.

  His gaze was searching, insisting.

  “Just say it baby; I can see it, but I need to hear it.”

  I swallowed the lump hanging in my throat. My heart lurched and skipped several beats.

  He nodded slowly with a knowing look.

  He knew…

  “I…”

  Landon smile broadened with anticipation, but I couldn’t say the words yet. There was so much I didn’t know about Landon, we’ve been together for barely a week; I could barely admit it to myself without shrieking with fear and confusion.

  It was one thing to offer myself to him even after a short time. But I’d decided to do it, on my own terms. Not only because I was bored and frustrated with self-satisfaction; but to find a way and erase the memory of that night with Caden.

  I waited long enough for it and it was amazing and I do love him. But something in my gut told me that saying the words would be a commitment I wasn’t sure he was ready to take. It would feel better if I kept them to myself, so that, when our relationship failed, I’d feel somehow dignified – even though broken- but still mendable.

  I’d said those words before, to no other than the man who tried to rape me and destroyed me. I realized that I more impressed with the idea of the man than the man himself. I’d fell in love with a cliché. But I wasn’t a girl with some daddy issues that sought affection in any man; I had to be sure of my feelings for him and it was way too early for me to say them to me; especially when I’d no guarantee that he’d say them back.

  It killed me to see the anticipation in his eyes; and to be the one who would crush it.

  “I’m yours.”

  My heart leaped into my mouth; it was the only thing I could say that was close to what he wanted me to say.

  He really had a way to read into me; he saw it in my eyes and I hoped he’d settle for just it for a moment.

  Chapter XXIV

  Without a word; Landon lifted me in his arms and strode up the stairs. I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his neck.