Fated Memories

by Judith Ann McDowell

  “Can you tell what is going to happen between Two Spirits and me?” She gave him a doubtful look.

  “I can not see everything.” His eyes closed then opened as he shook his head. “As time passes, I will know more.”

  “I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t see him every day like before.” Jessie turned onto her side, pulling on the long blades of grass.

  “Jessie did you ever hear the story about what happened here at this lake many years ago?”

  “Are you talkin’ ‘bout the Blackfeet that were killed here?

  “Yes.”

  “Sure. Everyone’s heard that story. Frank McKennah and some of the other men around the county got together and killed everyone in the camp.”

  “How do you feel about that?” Pehta asked, watching her.

  “Why, I think it’s terrible, of course.”

  “My brother, Appearing Wolf, led our people at that time. As war chief to the Kainah, it fell to him to protect us against our enemies.” Pehta’s deep voice filled with emotion.

  “Oh God!” She reached out to him. “Pehta, I’m so sorry. How terrible for you.”

  “Of all my people, I am the one who survived. The reason is I had been in a Crow camp, talking with their leaders about banding together against the whites.”

  “Why?” she whispered, staring at him.

  “The whites made it harder and harder for us to live on our land. Your mother and father had been some of the first whites to come here and build.”

  “Pehta, they didn’t do anything to your people. Mama’s told me this many times. She said they had no problem with the Blackfeet bein’ so close.”

  “Your mother could not speak for all the whites, Jessie. Had she been able to, there would have been no trouble between your people and mine.” A slight smile touched his face. “Of this I am sure.”

  “Pehta,” she gazed at him, “could it be you feel guilty because you had not been there to help your people when they needed you?”

  Smiling at her insight, he nodded. “There is not a day that passes I do not think of this. My brother had been a great leader. He should not have died so young. He should have been our next chief.”

  “I’m sorry. I’m sure he would have been a good chief.”

  “He would have been a great chief,” he corrected her. “At the time of his death, his wife carried their first child. The child would have been born before the first snow fell.”

  “What was his wife’s name?”

  “Tia.” His dark eyes took on a softer glow as he spoke her name. “No other in the village could compare with her. Although beautiful of face and body, she did not think herself better than the other women of the tribe. And Tia behaved like a warrior.” His voice gained strength as he spoke of the woman he had known all those many years ago. “She had no fear.”

  “It sounds like you loved her very much.” Jessie pulled one of the many wild flowers growing nearby to hold it to her nose.

  “If my brother had not made her his wife, I would have tried to make her mine. But there could never be any room in her heart for anyone except Appearing Wolf. Even though she fought against that love for a long time.”

  “I’m sorry about what happened to them, Pehta. Prejudice is a very bad thing. Even now,” she turned her face away to gaze across the lake, “it reaches out to destroy what Two Spirits and I have together. When will it end?”

  “It will not end in our lifetime, Jessie. What you feel in your heart for one of my blood will bring only sadness and death to you both.”

  “Then you see our love dying,” she whispered her words.

  “Sometimes from one’s death, a whole new life can be reborn. Only the Old Ones know how this can be. I learned many years ago not to question them in their wisdom.”

  “I don’t understand all your words, Pehta. But somehow I feel better for hearing them.”

  Getting to his feet, he reached out his hand to her. “Jessie, the Holy Spirit put you on Mother Earth for a reason. It is not for us to question that reason.”

  “I want you to tell Two Spirits about something that happened to me last night.” Jessie grabbed his hand, pulling herself to her feet.

  Pehta turned his full attention on her.

  “One of the ranch hands saw Two Spirits and me where we go to meet among the trees. He threatened to tell my father. I am pretty sure I talked him out of it but, of course, I can’t know for certain.”

  “Will this man harm you?” he asked the fear for her safety showing upon his face.

  “No,” she shook her head. “He’s just tryin’ to protect me from what he feels is a bad relationship.”

  “Jessie, if Two Spirits does return, do not meet where you have been together before. You must find a safer place, where no one will see you.”

  “Pehta, does this mean you don’t find our love for each other a bad thing?” Jessie’s eyes flashed with pleasure.

  “Your love for Two Spirits and his love for you is already out of everyone’s hands. You will be together. This I can promise you.”

  “Oh!” she squealed, throwing her slim arms around his neck. “You don’t know how glad I am to hear this!”

  Stunned at her reaction to his words, Pehta pulled her arms away from him.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, her cheeks growing hot with embarrassment. “I shouldn’t have done that. It’s just that your words filled my heart with such happiness, I forgot myself. It won’t happen again.”

  “Do you see the clearing between those two tall pines?” He pointed straight ahead.

  “Yes.”

  “Get on your horse and ride in that direction. Two Spirits waits for you there.”

  “Pehta!” she squealed, again starting towards him.

  Throwing up his hands, he stepped back out of her way.

  “Sorry. I’ll go now,” she twirled herself around with happiness, and then ran to her horse. “Thank you, Pehta,” she called back over her shoulder.

  ***

  Seated on a blanket he had spread over a floor of pine needles, Two Spirits waited for Jessie to come to him. For days he had warred with his need to see her, talking through the long nights with Pehta about what he should do, then turning in anger on his old friend when Pehta told him he could not make his decisions for him.

  “What is it about this girl that holds my mind in such a fog?” He spoke his thoughts aloud, needing to hear the words that tormented him without end. “I have seen many white girls and none of them have turned my head with their pale skin they protect so from the sun.” He raised his hands, rubbing them across his burning eyes and trying to blot out the mental images of Jessie’s soft skin kissed by the sun, glowing a rich golden brown. His fingers ached to twine themselves around her long strands of soft shiny hair that held the flame of fire and the smell of wild flowers. But he couldn’t have her. They came from different races and her father, being one of the most powerful men in the state of Montana, made their mixing of those races a deadly choice.

  “I can not allow my people to pay for my lust!” He pushed himself to his feet and, stooping down, grabbed up the blanket, rolling it as he strode to his horse. “She will see this can not be.” He tied the blanket on the back of the horse and, swinging himself into the saddle, turned to leave.

  “Two Spirits.” Jessie sat on her horse a few feet away.

  In an instant, all the strong decisions he had made moments ago flew out of his mind. “Jessie,” he voiced her name. Lifting her from her horse, he held her for a long moment before standing her on her feet. “I have missed you,” he whispered against her sun-warmed hair, his loins afire at her nearness.

  “Two Spirits, I thought I would never see you again,” she moaned, covering his hot mouth with her own.

  “I could not stay away from you.”

  “Make me your woman, Two Spirits!” she begged against his hot mouth.

  For a brief moment he hesitated, trying to gain some much-needed control over his e
motions. Then, with a low moan, he pulled her down to the soft ground unable to wait the few moments it would take to get the blanket.

  Within moments they were in each other’s arms, their clothing thrown over the ground.

  “Jessie,” Two Spirits held her chin in his firm hand as he gazed deep into her heat-filled eyes. “If we become one, then we can never be apart no matter what happens. Are you sure this is what you want?”

  “Without any doubt in my mind, Two Spirits. I love you. I want to belong to no one but you.” She threw her arms around his neck, gazing with happiness as she saw two birds swoop down and then right themselves to fly away.

  With a gentle hand, he pushed her back onto the blanket and spreading her legs wide, positioned himself in front of her. He entered where no man had been before with one quick thrust of his lean hips then stopped when he heard her low cry of pain. “I am sorry, my love. There is always pain the first time.”

  “It’s all right,” she whispered, fighting to stem the flow of tears threatening to spill from dark eyes she kept closed. Forcing herself to remain silent and not beg him to stop, she moved her body against his throbbing loins urging him to continue.

  “It has been a very long time since I have lain with a woman. I will not be able to stop my seed from spilling forth too soon.”

  Not understanding his words, Jessie stared at him. Her heart filled with pain as he thrust deep inside of her once more then gave a loud groan and slumped over her to lay quiet. After a moment, he moved to lie beside her. As he lay there breathing deep breaths, one arm over his eyes, she took advantage of his stillness to look at the first naked male body she had ever seen.

  His firm body was dark all over. Not at all like hers, just only tanned where the sun touched her. Her eyes glided over his flat stomach, then without hesitation to his damp loins. Surprise leaped to her mind to see his body devoid of hair. With a shaking hand, she reached out and touched him then drew back as his manhood lengthened before her eyes.

  Laughing at her innocence, he drew her into his arms. “Do not be afraid, little one. He will never bring you pain again.”

  Jessie could feel her face growing hot as she snuggled deeper into his strong arms.

  “The first time is always hardest for the woman. She seldom receives pleasure. When the man who is making love to her has gained control over himself,” he instructed her in his gentle voice, “he can begin to teach her the true meaning of pleasure between a man and his woman.”

  “Then we’ll try it again. I’m ready.” She sat up.

  “But I am not. At least, not yet. It takes longer for the man to be ready to love his woman a second time. The body must rest for a while. Do not worry, my love. I will not leave you unfulfilled.”

  “It’s all right, Two Spirits,” she hastened to assure him. “I’m fine.”

  “You say this because you do not know what feelings can be brought to your body.”

  His heart filled with love for her. “Once you have learned the difference, you will never let me leave you until I have brought these feelings again and again.”

  “But,” she leaned over, propping herself up on her elbow to stare down at him, “if I don’t know what feelings to look for, how will I know when I have them?”

  “Believe me, Jessie,” he vowed, taking her once more into his arms, “you will know.”

  With a gentle hand, he began to teach her about the feelings of which he spoke. His dark eyes never left hers as he lowered his head to one small breast. As she watched, he flicked his tongue over the tiny bud, eliciting a low moan from deep in her throat. Again and again he flicked the hardening bud until Jessie pulled away.

  “Why did you stop me?” He looked down at her, a puzzled look on his face. “Don’t you enjoy the feelings I bring to you?”

  “Yes.” A deep flush rose upward to cover her face.

  “Then why did you stop me?” he persisted.

  “Breasts are for suckling babies, not for...” she grew quiet unable to finish.

  He grinned at her, unable to halt the laughter in his voice. “They are also a source of great pleasure for a man and his woman.”

  Lowering his head, he again nuzzled the little buds growing harder and fuller with each touch of his hot mouth. Sliding his hand down between her thighs, he entered her with one gentle finger, withdrawing his own fluid to moisten her womanhood. Finding the hard little nub hidden within the soft folds, he rubbed it. Jessie’s sharp nails dug into his bare back, drawing blood. He could hear her harsh breath coming in pants faster and faster. Then, her strong thighs locked on his hand as she moaned out her pleasure.

  He pulled her beneath him to enter her body. With each thrust his young hips made, he drew another deeper moan from the small girl he held in his arms.

  Without warning, her world seemed to explode into a million different pieces. At almost the same time, she felt him shudder then relax. Looking down into her awed face, he smiled at the wonder filling her dark eyes at what they had shared together.

  “Now you know the difference, my love,” he whispered, kissing her face.

  Her young heart filled with such love right at that moment, she could only bask in the afterglow. “I want to say so much right now, but I have no words. Except to say, I love you, Two Spirits.”

  “I love you, my Jessie. My woman.” He kissed the side of her face. “Now, we can never be parted again.”

  “I will never let you go,” she told him, wrapping his long black hair around her throat and smiling. “I will be with you always.”

  “What are you thinking?” he whispered, watching the sun shining through the heavy boughs of the tall pines play over her body.

  “I’m thinkin’ how very blessed I am to know you.” Jessie closed her eyes, basking in the afterglow of sated love. “Someone must love me very much to bring you into my life.” She rose up on one arm, peering down at him. “I will be forever grateful.”

  Throughout the long afternoon they made love many times, surrounded by the smell of warmed pine needles. Giving and taking their comfort and satisfaction with an almost frenzied appetite, as if they knew their days together would soon be but a memory.

  ***

  Two Spirits returned to the Thornton ranch. After what happened between them, the lovers could not bear to be parted even for one day. Jessie knew the hands watched her. Each time she walked anywhere near the corrals, one or more of them always happened to wander by.

  “All right, Johnny Two Spirits,” Jake called out in a loud voice from his seat atop the corral fence. “This is your big chance to show the boss what you can do. Don’t blow it.”

  “That’ll be enough shit outta you, Jake,” Eathen growled. “I don’t see your lanky ass dancin’ with them wild sons-ah-bitches.”

  “And you won’t either,” he called back. “I got more sense’n that!”

  “Or less balls,” Tom snickered to the other hands.

  “Watch your mouth, Tom,” Eathen nodded in Charlotte’s direction.

  “Sorry, Miss Charlotte.” Tom touched the brim of his hat. “I didn’t see you walk up.”

  Nodding, she turned her attention to the young man in the breaking pen with a large paint. The skittish horse nipped in anger at the rope tying him to the snubbing post.

  “Why is this horse hobbled?” Two Spirits called out above the neighing and loud snorting of the almost out of control animal.

  “It was my idea, Johnny Boy,” Jake spoke up. “You got any objections?”

  In a calm stride, Two Spirits walked over to the bucking horse and, taking the bridle in both his hands, shortened the rope until the animal’s head butted right up against the post. When at last he had him subdued, he bent down removing the hobbles.

  “Just what the hell do you think you’re doin’, injun?” Jake bellowed, hopping off the fence and stomping towards him as he busied himself with removing the hobbles as if Jake had not spoken.

  “I said,” Jake growled, jerking the younger m
an around by his arm, “what the hell do you think you’re doin’?”

  Before anyone knew what had happened, Two Spirits whirled and Jake found himself flat on his back in the dust. “Do not ever put your hands on me again, white one,” he warned.

  “Why you red son-of-a-bitch!” Jake howled, rolling to his feet and pulling his knife. “I’ll teach you to come up against me!”

  “Oh my God, Eathen!” Charlotte screamed, grabbing Eathen’s arm. “Do somethin’!”

  Eathen stood, one leg braced against the fence, smoking his cigar and watching. “I got fifty bucks on the Indian. You in?”

  “Eathen, he ain’t even armed!” Charlotte whispered.

  “Yes he is,” Eathen told her, his watchful eyes never leaving the two men squaring off in the enclosed area. “Just watch.”

  “What’s goin’ on?” Jessie asked, walking up to see what all the commotion was about. At the sight meeting her eyes, she jumped up on the fence.

  “You should never pull a knife unless you mean to use it,” Two Spirits told the other man in a calm voice.

  “I intend to use it, injun!” Jake growled. “I plan to cut your belly open just to see what you’re made of.”

  “When all the fire is in the words, the man behind them is really no man at all, Jake.” Two Spirits laughed. “Just a big mouth spouting hot air.”

  “Kick his ass, Jake!” one of the hands called out.

  “I intend to do more’n kick his ass!” Jake yelled back. “I can guaran-goddamn-tee you that!”

  “You just stay put, little girl, and watch what happens,” Eathen told Jessie, taking a long drag on his cigar. “Jake’s had this comin’ for a long time.”

  “You ready, injun?” Jake grinned, switching his knife from hand to hand.

  “I have been ready, Jake.” Two Spirits stood in the enclosure; his legs spread wide, arms crossed over his chest. Waiting.

  With the quickness of a striking snake, Jake attacked, but his knife struck air. Again he lashed out and again missed his mark. “You red nigger,” Jake panted, “you’re gonna get stuck, so you might as well give up and take it like a man.”