A Good Excuse To Be Bad

by Miranda Parker

  “Thank you for understanding our challenge. But I have to ask—” I cleared my throat and patted Mama’s hand. “Why do you think Ava didn’t put you ladies on her visitor’s list?”

  Mama sneered. “Probably because they wouldn’t answer her call when she contacted them from the stank tank at the jailhouse.”

  “I beg pardon, ma’am.” Mrs. Loretta raised her voice. “I am called to service the First Lady. If she needed me, if she called me, I would have been there. I have committed myself to your daughter for my entire life, and that has not changed. I do not understand why you are being harsh to me. I have always been there for Lady Ava.”

  “Then where were you the night she apparently needed someone to watch her kids, when she felt compelled to leave her home in the middle of the night? Where have you been all this time before this ridiculous mess? Had you not seen their trouble? Had you not seen this coming? What are you people good for? Aren’t you supposed to protect my daughter? Oh!” Mama screamed, trembled, and then sobbed. “My baby. My baby. Oh God, take care of my baby. Please, Lord. Please heal my soul.” She turned to me and lowered her head on my chest.

  The ladies gasped and jumped up to gather around us.

  I held on to Mama and whispered, “Mama, calm down. She’s coming home soon. I promise.”

  I looked at April. She was crying, too.

  I returned to Mama’s attention. “Remember, Mama. They’re here to help us. These women are going to help us set Ava free.”

  “Help? They’re a day late and a dollar short, if you ask me.” She cursed again.

  I rubbed her shoulder. “Mama, could you please stop cursing? Your blood pressure,” I whispered. “First impressions and the cursing don’t mix well.”

  “You’re right. Lord, forgive me. I sound like a slap fool up in here.” Mama lowered her head and shook her head. “Ladies, please forgive me. I’ve never cursed a day in my life.”

  “Now you don’t have to lie to the nice people,” I whispered.

  She picked her head up. “I only curse when I’m scared. Okay? Is that better?”

  “Sure, Mama.” I kissed her head.

  Mrs. Loretta touched my shoulder. “Fear makes us do crazy things, sister.”

  “Especially when a dead man is involved,” I said.

  The other ladies Amen’ed in unison.

  Candace said, “But Mother Crawford, you do have a point. We have failed your daughter.” Mrs. Loretta and April rolled their necks in her direction. She continued, “And I apologize for all of us.”

  The others looked down, then nodded. Mama sat up.

  “Candace, what do you mean when you say you didn’t do your job?” I asked.

  “Your sister entrusted us with protecting her. We knew she was in danger, spiritually speaking. We had no clue it was a real, physical one. But we knew that she was afraid of something.”

  “Did she say she was afraid?”

  “Her prayers said it all.” Candace looked at Mama, then at me. “They had changed from, you know, her normal requests—the kids, church business—to something more secret. I think the marriage was in trouble.”

  “Candy!” Mrs. Loretta huffed. “We don’t gossip. It’s not our place to know everything that plagues First Lady Ava, and definitely not to assume anything about the marriage between her and the bishop. We pray. We assist. We’re silent.”

  “And your silence has murdered a good man.” Mama slid in that stinging remark.

  Mrs. Loretta’s mouth flew open. I think I stopped breathing. She just wouldn’t stop. I didn’t know why Justus brought her and then I remembered he based his assumptions about my mother on first appearances. He didn’t know.

  “Evangeline . . .” Mama stood and looked down at me.

  I couldn’t read her mind, but her calling me by my full first name told me that she was just as spiritually exhausted as I was over this mess. I watched her and wanted so badly to make things better, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak.

  She threw up her hands. “I apologize, baby. I’m a bit too sully tonight. I think I need to leave and let you all meet. I don’t mean to offend you fine ladies. I’m just tired. I’m supposed to be on my honeymoon, you know.” She walked out.

  I could hear her sobbing down the hall. I wanted to follow and comfort her.

  Candace touched my hand. “We’re sorry if we sound insensitive. We know you all are under great stress.”

  I nodded. “Our mom isn’t generally like this. She’s usually nice to other people. It’s her kids who experience her wrath. She’s been holding all her frustration in. I suspect because she wants to appear in control in front of the children.”

  April smiled. “We know. She’s been to the church before. We know that her outburst was out of character. How are the kids?”

  “They don’t know about their mother or father.”

  “Now that’s very wise.” Mrs. Loretta held her folded arms across her chest tighter than the lids on Granny’s old apple jelly mason jars. Her lips were pursed even tighter. I rolled my eyes at her, although I knew I shouldn’t have.

  “Before Pastor Morgan returns, could you tell me if, outside of prayer, you saw any evidence that Devon and Ava’s marriage was odd?”

  “Odd like how?”

  “Abusive, adulterous . . .”

  “No, ma’am. He wasn’t either,” Candace said. “He was very sweet to her.”

  April raised her hand. “A little too sweet if you ask me.”

  Mrs. Loretta snapped, “Child, you have not had the privilege of being loved by a good man, so please keep your insecurities to yourself. Thank you.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Don’t call me that. I’m not a child, and I have a good man in my life.”

  Mrs. Loretta scoffed. “I’m praying for the day your version of good changes.”

  “I think we’re getting off the subject,” I interjected. “What do you armor bearers do that helps Ava?” I asked. The last thing I needed was to be accused of inciting a cat fight in the church.

  “We mainly pray with her and for her and anticipate her needs.” Candace walked toward the refreshment table and added more dumplings to her plate. “But like I said—in my spirit—I felt I should have done more.”

  “How? And what qualifies you to do what you do anyway?” I asked.

  Candace looked at the other women, then back at me. “You of all people should know that.”

  “What do you mean?”

  She blushed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound disrespectful. What I meant was that you and Ava are twins. You almost share the same spirit, so I assumed you would know what it’s like to be in sync with someone.”

  I stopped her. “No, we weren’t in sync. Ava’s her own person, and so am I. I’ve lived with her longer than anyone in this world and I couldn’t read her thoughts. And she definitely couldn’t read mine.” I refused to share twin-intuition with them. That was not the same.

  Something in my gut checked me. I looked up. “Let me rephrase that. When you’re a twin like Ava and me, the last thing you want to be is a clone of the other. So you carve out your own identity. You share what you want to share. And you keep what you want to keep. From what ya’ll just told me, Ava wasn’t sharing her soul with you. She was telling you one thing and something else to you, April, and something else to Mrs. Loretta.”

  April shrugged. “I was too new for her to share anything with me, but there was the woman I replaced. They were pretty close.”

  “No, April!” Candace shouted. She bumped against the table by accident and dropped her plate. It crashed in bits around her feet. “Oh no.”

  “Don’t move,” Mama shouted. She had returned. My heart skipped. What would she do now? “I’ll get it up.”

  I smiled in relief. Mama couldn’t stand a stain on floors. Good thing she didn’t see Ava’s house the night Devon died.

  I returned to April. “Was that woman you replaced named Rachel?”

&nbs
p; April nodded; the other women crossed their legs.

  Mrs. Loretta asked, “How did you know about her?”

  “I’m a reporter. It’s my job to know things.”

  “Used to be,” Justus interjected as he returned to the meeting. “False alarm. I’ll be here after all. He cleared his throat and smiled. I tried hard not to smile back at him, but couldn’t help myself. I was glad he was back.

  “But what do you know about her?” Candace asked.

  I sat back. “I was praying that you would tell me. Who is she and why isn’t she with the church anymore?”

  “Before we get to that, I think we need to pray, because some of us in this room are prone to gossip,” Mrs. Loretta eyeballed April.

  Candace interrupted, “Not this time, Mrs. Loretta. What’s said here, stays here. Right, Angel?” She looked at me.

  I gulped. Were they kidding me? I’m a former reporter. That was why I didn’t like talking to people in churches. They put the hand of God over the conversation and then I couldn’t do what I wanted to do with the information I received. I couldn’t share it.

  “Not if it will help get my daughter’s charges dropped. No way am I keeping anything a secret,” Mama said.

  I patted Mama’s back and whispered to her, “Thank you.” I thanked God for an out clause on that one. Mama said exactly what needed to be said.

  “I agree that this is the perfect time for prayer,” Justus said.

  “Amen, Reverend.” Mrs. Loretta waved her hand in the air.

  He looked at me. “Can we do this together?”

  We both blushed at each other. If God would let me remain friends with this man, then I would learn to be satisfied. I nodded. “Let’s pray.”

  27

  9:00 PM

  After the prayer, Justus and Mama went into his office to talk about cursing in church and enjoy some chocolate while I talked to the armor bearers some more. I pulled out my pen and pad, then asked the questions I had been wanting to ask all night.

  Who is Rachel?

  Candace: Her name is Rachel Newton. She’s twenty-six, single, been a member of Greater Atlanta since 2000. Was once the church receptionist. Devon appointed her as an armor bearer in 2005.

  What was Rachel’s role?

  Loretta: Lady Ava had decided to facilitate leadership retreats for women alongside Devon’s pastors conferences and needed a prayer cell to support her ministry and to travel with her. Rachel was hired as the media contact and events scheduler. She kept up with Ava’s calendar.

  Like a publicist?

  No, First Lady Ava wrote her own media material. She just needed someone to get them out to her media outlets on time.

  When did Rachel leave Greater Atlanta?

  April: Six months ago.

  Why?

  Candace: She said that she had a personal obligation to meet.

  April frowned. “She told me that God had called her to another service.”

  “Tttt . . .” Mrs. Loretta shook her head. “It didn’t matter what she said. We all knew she was pregnant.”

  “Pregnant?” Mama yelled from the other room.

  “So it wasn’t a rumor?” I asked.

  Candace sat down. “I had hoped it was.”

  “Why did you not want Rachel to be pregnant?” I asked.

  “Rachel was devoted to her faith. She wanted to be married before she had children. If she were pregnant . . .” Candace lowered her head. “She would be very ashamed of herself.”

  “As she should be.” Mrs. Loretta snarled. “Before I was a retired, old woman, I was a midwife. Did it for twenty years. I got so good I could spot a pregnant woman before those pregnancy tests could. Shoot. Come to think of it, I can, and I would tell those young girls to hold fast and wait for marriage.”

  I turned to Mrs. Loretta. “How did Rachel know that you knew about her pregnancy?”

  Mrs. Loretta grinned. “I’m the one that brought it to her attention.”

  “Oh.” I sat back. “Mrs. Loretta, you ever thought about becoming a private investigator?”

  She chuckled and shook her head. “No.”

  Justus escorted Mama back to her chair. He sat down beside me.

  “Now that you’ve relaxed, Loretta, may I ask you if you know who’s Rachel’s baby daddy?” Mama asked.

  We all turned to Justus.

  He threw his hands up. “It’s not me. I promise.”

  “We know that.” I turned back to the ladies. “Could it be Devon’s?”

  “No!” the ladies shouted.

  “Why couldn’t it be Devon’s?” I asked.

  “Because he’s a man of God.” Candace threw her right hand over her chest. She whispered, “And your brother-in-law. Do you have any loyalty?”

  “I’m loyal to my sister. I’ve never led you to believe otherwise.”

  “You have a funny way of showing it,” Mrs. Loretta said.

  I saw Justus looking at me. He wasn’t smiling or beaming at me, neither was Mama. I lowered my head.

  “It’s no surprise to you guys that Devon and I didn’t get along, but my feelings for him have nothing to do with this question. It’s important. I don’t want to damage Devon’s name. I don’t want my sister, my niece, or my nephew to hate me, but I want to find the real killer. If there’s a possibility that Devon could be the father or in all certainty, based on your statements, Devon knew who the father is, we have to know.”

  No one in the room seemed fully convinced.

  “Well, let me give you another scenario . . .” I stood up. “Newspapers are hurting right now because of the economy. If they get a whiff of what I uncovered—very easily, I might add—then imagine what that will look like for Greater Atlanta. Would you rather that I found out and fixed things before my old buddies at the Atlanta Sentinel do?”

  “We’re not having anyone debase the bishop’s good name and character.” Mrs. Loretta placed her arms around me. “I’ll help you. We all will. April, set out my banana pudding. This might be a long night.”

  Justus patted my shoulders. “Finally, you’re letting someone in.”

  Mama whispered, “I told you that you needed Jesus.”

  I frowned at her, then giggled. “Mama, you’re something else.”

  Candace placed her bowl down. “I’m not trying to sound selfish. But I don’t believe our pastor fathered Rachel’s baby. He wouldn’t do a thing like that. He wouldn’t do that to First Lady Ava. I know that in my gut.”

  The other ladies said “Amen” in agreement.

  Mrs. Loretta added, “Angel, based on your questions, I can tell you haven’t spent much time around First Lady or the bishop.”

  “He wouldn’t allow me to,” I said.

  Mama poked Justus in his ribs with her elbow. “He wouldn’t.”

  “Justus, let me get your two cents. Is that some kind of new pastor’s law? Keep the women from their family?”

  All the women looked at Justus. He looked at me, then folded his arms. “Pastors don’t live by any marriage code different than a normal wedded couple.”

  “That’s true,” Mama said. “My first husband, the girls’ father—God rest his soul—did his best to make our lives normal, but how can you be normal when everyone expects you to live like angels? I never had any real relationships until after he passed. And I don’t think my children did either. Thank God they had each other . . .” She looked down at me and smiled. “Sort of.”

  I loved her.

  “Now, my second husband. He was a pastor, too. Honey, that was a nightmare and the church had nothing to do with that. Isn’t that right, baby?” She looked at me.

  “I won’t touch that tonight, Mama.”

  I turned my attention to the ladies again. “Then where’s Rachel? Why has she disappeared and given you all different reasons as to why she left? She sounds a little suspect to me.”

  To tell the truth, I still wasn’t buying Devon’s holy pants spiel. He very well could be the father of Rachel�
�s unborn baby. It would definitely explain why Ava wanted to keep everything on the hush. She was protecting Devon’s legacy with Greater Atlanta, while Rachel was hiding her pregnancy to protect what or whom? Maybe Devon wasn’t the father. Pastors took concubines like David took Bathsheba, and scandal like this would definitely rock Big Faith’s arc. But I’d take the high road. I’d give Devon the benefit of the doubt for now, because to tell the truth, all I had was more gossip and a missing mom-to-be. I needed some facts. I needed to find Rachel.

  “But if that’s the case, then none of you ladies would object to helping me find Rachel?”

  Mrs. Loretta stood up. “I don’t have a problem with it. I would like to know how she’s doing. That baby should be due any day now.”

  “Have any of you visited her lately?”

  They all shook their heads.

  “She moved from where she once lived,” Candace said. “So I haven’t seen her.”

  April raised her hand. “I saw her last week. We both were at the McArthur mansion. I had to run an errand for Lady Ava. She was there meeting the bishop. She said she would be returning to our group after her life settled down.”

  “Did she say when she would return, like what month?”

  “No, like I said, I didn’t know her very well. It was more like small talk, I thought.”

  I turned to Candace and Mrs. Loretta. “Has my sister said anything to you about Rachel’s return?”

  They looked at each other, then at me. “No.”

  I didn’t want to suspect that these two were not being truthful, but their responses only generated more questions for me.

  “Do either of you know where she moved?”

  They shrugged.

  “Have you called her at all since she left Greater Atlanta?”

  “Her cell phone was disconnected,” Candace said. “I don’t feel comfortable talking about someone when they aren’t present to defend themselves, but she left the church so abruptly. I thought she had done something wrong. I admit that.”