Against All Odds

by Danielle Steel

  “You did a terrific job, Mom,” Justin said and put an arm around her, but he looked sad. This wasn’t what he wanted for Izzie either, and he wondered what would come next, what surprises would be in store for her. There were sure to be some with Zach, or even many.

  Willie kept the conversation from becoming morose, and Peter told Kate that it was the best wedding he’d ever been to, which they all knew was a lie. But Julie looked happy with him, and he’d been pleasant to everyone all night, which was a relief while Zach misbehaved.

  Justin and Richard left at three, and Peter took Julie home, to spend the night with her. Willie fell asleep on the couch, and his mother left him there. It had been a long night for them all. And when she finally got to bed, she lay down and let out a sigh of relief. It was over. She had done the best she could, and hoped it was enough to give her daughter memories she would cherish, of a night Kate thought should never have happened.

  —

  Zach was sound asleep on their bed by then, still dressed. He had passed out the instant they came home, and Izzie carefully unbuttoned her dress herself, and laid it over a chair with her veil. She had felt like a princess all night, and she didn’t really mind that Zach had gotten out of hand, as long as he was happy and had enjoyed their wedding. She noticed then that he was wearing only one shoe and wondered what had happened to the other one. She hadn’t seen it in the car that drove them home. And then she lay down next to him, and set their alarm for the next morning. They were flying to Aspen on a noon flight and had to leave the house by ten. She hoped that Zach would make it. And then she closed her eyes and fell asleep. She was Mrs. Zach Holbrook. She smiled as she drifted off to sleep with her arms around him.

  —

  Zach was surprisingly fresh in the morning, when Izzie woke him at eight to get ready for the plane. He hadn’t packed yet, and she helped him, as he poured them each a glass of champagne for breakfast. She had a headache from the night before, but he said it was bad luck to refuse so she drank it, and then he pulled her back into bed.

  “Wait a minute…you’re my wife now…you can’t refuse me any time I want to make love.” She laughed at what he said.

  “What if we miss the plane?” she said sensibly.

  “Then we’ll take the next one. There is always another plane.” They were flying to Denver, and then switching to a smaller flight into Aspen.

  He made love to her, and they were both happy and sated when it was over. Izzie noticed that it was nine-thirty by then, and they had half an hour to get ready. She dragged him into the shower with her, and he wanted to make love to her again, and this time she wouldn’t let him.

  “We have two weeks in Aspen. We can stay in bed the whole time,” she said, and he liked the idea.

  Miraculously, she got him dressed, packed, and into the cab by ten-fifteen. She had packed her own bags two days before, and they got to the airport at eleven, just in time to check in.

  He slept on the plane all the way to Denver, and by then her family was having lunch at Da Silvano, and Peter was still with Julie. He was exceptionally nice to Grandma Lou again and attentive to Kate. He talked to Justin about their baby, and to Willie about football and hockey. And everyone tried to stay off the subject of Zach and his performance at the wedding. He was family now, and out of respect for Izzie, they had to at least try to like him.

  All Kate could think of to say to her mother when the others had all left after lunch was that she thought Peter tried too hard. It gave her an odd feeling.

  “We must be a daunting group to come into. Everyone has their opinions. You can’t blame him for trying,” Louise said benevolently, but he had been nicest to her. “And he’s good to Julie.” It was true, but Kate hadn’t liked it when he laughed when Julie read something wrong on the menu, and he had teased her. He obviously didn’t know she was dyslexic and sensitive about it, but Julie hadn’t said anything and laughed with him. Justin had noticed it too and stared at him, and then they changed the subject.

  “Is it always going to be like this,” Kate said sadly, “with people we don’t like marrying the children? Do you suppose any of them will marry someone decent?” She looked seriously disheartened.

  “We all like Richard,” her mother reminded her, “and I think Peter could be wonderful for Julie. He’s the best man she’s ever gone out with.”

  “Maybe you’re right,” Kate said, trying to still her fears. Her nerves were just jangled.

  “And Zach’s not evil, he’s just unruly and badly behaved, and he enjoys it, like a poorly trained dog.” Kate laughed at the colorful image. Grandma Lou was right. Maybe he was harmless, but also boisterous and embarrassing. The only one who didn’t seem bothered by it was Izzie.

  “And God knows who Willie will come home with.” Kate sighed.

  “A whole chorus line at some point, I suspect. I don’t think we have to worry about him for a long time. And he’ll probably settle down with a lovely girl we’ll all like.”

  “That would be a pleasant change,” Kate said to her mother wryly.

  “All parents worry,” Grandma Lou reminded her. “I worried about you too. We loved Tom, but he was in school, you had no money, you got pregnant instantly and kept having babies. I didn’t see how you were going to make it. But you managed, even when he died. Sometimes it works out despite the odds. All you can do is hope once they’re in it and be there for them. You can’t change it.” Her mother’s words were wise as they left the restaurant.

  “What are you doing today, Mother?”

  “I’m going to a movie with Frances this afternoon, and then we’re going to dinner.”

  “You’re a better man than I,” Kate said, looking exhausted. “I don’t know where you get the energy. I’m going home to bed.”

  “You worry about them more than I do,” Louise said, smiling at her. “That’s exhausting. It’s normal, they’re your children. I’m just their grandmother. I get the fun part.” But Kate knew she worried about them too, but not as much. She just didn’t admit it. “And don’t get yourself worked up about Peter now. I think he’s a very good man, and good for her.” Grandma Lou seemed confident about him, which reassured Kate.

  “He made fun of her when she read the menu,” she said, with a muscle clenching in her jaw at the memory. Julie had been teased in school for years when she couldn’t read, which nearly broke Kate’s heart for her. And Justin had gotten in countless fights in school on her behalf.

  “He doesn’t know, and Julie didn’t look upset. Don’t borrow trouble.” Grandma Lou looked stern as she said it.

  “I won’t. You’re right. I just don’t want them getting hurt,” she said with tears bright in her eyes. It had been painful for her watching Izzie marry Zach the day before, fearing how it would turn out.

  “You can’t stop them from getting hurt,” Grandma Louise said sensibly. “Life will hurt them. Hard things will happen to them, as they have to all of us. And they’ll survive it. You can’t protect them forever.” It was good advice, but as Kate walked back to her apartment alone a few minutes later, she wished that she could protect them from the painful things that would happen to them. And even more so from their own bad choices. But she knew it didn’t work that way. She only wished it would. And now they were all adults, or so they said.

  Chapter 14

  Bernard suggested that Kate meet him in St. Bart’s the week after the wedding. They hadn’t seen each other in five weeks and had been missing each other. She had a mountain of work to do at the store, especially with their online business now, and they had just hired another assistant whom Jessica was training, and Kate thought she should be there too. But she wanted to see him, and agreed to go. She had been feeling down ever since the wedding. And after St. Bart’s he had business in Miami and he wanted her to join him.

  She told her mother she was leaving and meeting a friend and Louise thought it was an excellent idea. Kate looked exhausted, and her mother didn’t ask who she was me
eting, since Kate didn’t volunteer it. Louise never pried, but she hoped it was a man. She thought it would do Kate good if it was.

  She took a plane to St. Martin two days later, and a tiny puddle jumper from there to St. Bart’s. The second flight was bumpy and the landing frightening, but she was so happy to be meeting Bernard that she didn’t care how bad the trip was. He was waiting for her at the airport and held her tightly in his arms. He could see all the strain and sorrow of the past month in her eyes. And all he wanted to do now was make it better. He took her to the hotel where he had booked a villa with a private pool, and half an hour after she got there, she was in a bikini in the pool and he was with her. And it was as though they’d never been apart. They picked up right where they’d left off, talking and laughing and sharing confidences, and she told him all about the wedding, her fears for Izzie, and her qualms about Peter. He was not only her lover, but Bernard was becoming her confidant and best friend.

  “I don’t think you need to worry about Julie’s new man. He sounds like he’s just trying too hard to impress you.”

  “He’s so perfect he unnerves me, and he crawls all over my mother.”

  “She probably enjoys it.” He laughed and Kate visibly relaxed from his reassurance. She needed that desperately. She had been carrying all the heavy burdens alone, as always. “I’d like to meet her one day,” he said about her mother.

  “You will,” she promised him. “All in good time.”

  “Does she know about me?” he asked, looking serious for a moment, and Kate shook her head.

  “No, not yet. I thought it was too soon.”

  “And I’m married.” He read her mind and finished the sentence for her. “She might not be as shocked as you think, from everything you’ve told me about her. She might just be fine with it.” But Kate thought it unlikely, knowing her mother. There were some things she didn’t tolerate and would never approve of, unfaithful husbands being one of them, and top of the list. And she was still Kate’s mother and worried about her too. It was instinctive.

  “I’m not ready to find out,” Kate said. He nodded and didn’t argue with her.

  The vacation in St. Bart’s with him was just what Kate needed, and by the time they left four days later, to fly to Miami, she felt like a new woman, or the old woman in better shape, emotionally and physically. She was no longer so upset about Izzie. Bernard was right. The deed was done. Now it was up to Izzie. And if she’d made a mistake, she would either have to live with it or correct it. It made Kate realize again that men were so much more pragmatic than women.

  When they landed in Miami, they went directly to the Eden Roc hotel where he had taken a palatial suite, and she left him to go shopping while he worked. She had a good time at the high-end shopping mall at Bal Harbour, and enjoyed cruising all the stores, until she met him back at the hotel for dinner that night. And afterward they swam in the pool on the way to their room. The next day it was hot and sunny, and she lay on their terrace to soak up the sun. He came back to the suite at lunchtime to make love and have lunch with her. It was a piece of heaven whenever she was with him.

  After four days in Miami, he flew back to New York with her and spent another week there. It was late May by the time he had to leave, and on their last night, Kate asked him what he was doing that summer.

  “We rent a house in Sardinia every year for August,” he said casually. “The children come and go with friends.”

  “You and the children?” she asked, trying to understand what the plan was, although she wasn’t trying to intrude.

  “The family,” he said vaguely.

  “How many of you?” she asked more specifically.

  “It varies.”

  “Will your wife be there?” Kate finally asked what she wanted to know and he hadn’t told her.

  “Some of the time. And I’ll be there some of the time, with the kids.”

  “Do you take turns, or are you there together?” She was frowning as she asked him. A cloud had just passed in front of the sun.

  “What difference does it make? We’re not together even when we’re under the same roof. We’re separate people.”

  “You still take vacations with her?” Kate asked, looking unhappy. “You never told me that before.”

  “I don’t even think about it. We hardly speak to each other. It makes no difference to either of us.”

  “It makes a difference to me. I don’t like the idea of your going on vacation with her.” As she said it, something Liam had said rang in her ears. That married men never seemed married, until you realized that they were more married than they claimed. It was beginning to sound that way, for the first time, and a shiver ran through her.

  “We do it every year,” Bernard said again, as though that made it okay. But it didn’t for Kate.

  “But you didn’t have me. Now you do,” she said pointedly, and he didn’t look pleased.

  “You can’t expect me to give up time with my children. You of all people know how important that is. That’s one of the reasons I love you, because you’re such a good mother.” It sounded like bullshit to her.

  “Do your children know about your ‘arrangement’ with your wife?”

  “We don’t need to discuss it with them. They live it, and have for many years. They understand.” But how much could they understand if their parents still took vacations together every summer? Maybe they just thought he was busy the rest of the time, for work.

  “Since you lead such separate lives, wouldn’t you rather have separate vacations with the children? It must be stressful being together.”

  “We’re very polite.” He smiled at Kate. And very French, she thought. It was the first time he had seriously upset her, and she was quiet for the rest of the evening, which disturbed him too. He didn’t want to spoil the time they had together, especially right before he was leaving, and he had no plans to return until late June. “Don’t think about it. What are you doing this summer?”

  “Working.”

  “You don’t go on holiday with your children?” In France everyone had five weeks off, by law, either in July or August. In the States, most people worked, except for a week or two, just as she did.

  “I used to go away with them, when they were kids, until they finished college. Now, none of them have time. They can’t get time off from their jobs. And they have their own plans, for a few days here and there, over long weekends, like on the Fourth of July and Labor Day, which they don’t spend with me.”

  “How sad,” he said sympathetically. “Maybe we could meet somewhere in July.” Because he went to Sardinia in August with his wife. That was clear to her now, and she didn’t like it.

  “I don’t want to be part of a shift, Bernard,” she said pointedly. She had never felt that way before, but they had only been together for three months, since February. She had never been through Christmas with him, or a summer. She wondered if he spent Christmas with his wife too, and suspected now that he did. It was part of the “arrangement.” He could do what he wanted and lead his own life as long as he came home for major holidays and summer vacations. It was an arrangement she didn’t like.

  “You’re not part of a shift,” he insisted. “You’re the woman I love.”

  “And she’s your wife,” Kate said with a determined look, and there was anger in it.

  “Why are you making trouble about this now when we’re so happy?” He looked like an innocent victim as he said it. And she was the culprit and attacker. He seemed wounded.

  “I’m not going to be happy in August when you’re with her.” In fact, she was going to be miserable and she knew it.

  “I can arrange to be away for a few days when the children aren’t there,” he said, trying to mollify her.

  “I can’t get away then, and that’s not the point. I don’t want to share you with her. This isn’t joint custody.”

  “I have to do the best I can in the circumstances,” he said firmly. And it was obvious that
he was not going to change his plans for her. He was going to do what he did every year, and vacation for a month in Sardinia with his wife and family. And there was no part for her to play in that. His wife had the upper hand in August. That was her time with Bernard, not Kate’s. “We’ll work something out,” he said placatingly, but Kate had understood, and it did not work for her. She was chilly with him for the rest of the night, and they did not make love before he left. She couldn’t. She was too upset about his plans for August.

  He kissed her when he left for the airport the next day, and neither of them mentioned their conversation of the night before, but it had taken a toll, and she was still mulling it over after he left. She didn’t tell Liam when she saw him. She didn’t want to admit to him that he was right. But in her heart of hearts, she knew he was, unless something changed. Bernard was still more married than he admitted. And that changed things for her. She loved him, but not enough to share him with another woman. Maybe his wife did, but she didn’t. And she wasn’t French, she was American, and the theory that half of someone else’s husband was better than none didn’t work for her. She had been a willing participant until now, but he hadn’t explained the situation to her accurately, if he was still vacationing with his wife for a month every summer. And she knew now that August was going to be hell month for her, knowing where he was and with whom.

  It was a heavy weight on her heart when she went back to work when he was gone. He had done wonderful things for her business, but she realized now that sooner or later, he would break her heart. And it was a price she was not willing to pay, for him or anyone else, no matter how much she loved him.