by Aoife Walsh
She found Franklin standing in the shade of the park-keeper’s shed with his face against the wall. ‘I’m going home,’ she said, making him jump. ‘I hate my best friend.’
‘I’ll walk you back then,’ he said.
‘I’m sorry about that moron Jorge.’
‘Not your fault.’
‘I know, but …’ Minny shoved her hands in her pockets bravely. ‘Are you OK? I mean, is your mum OK and everything?’
‘As far as I know.’ They trudged along the path side by side.
‘I mean, last time you said you were going to check she wasn’t dead. I know you were joking, only …’
‘No, she’s not that bad.’
‘And I know that … the reason you moved here – you said you were in some trouble.’
‘Yeah, only little stuff. Not only … you know what I mean. I just kept getting caught tagging stuff, and I was in a couple of fights, and then I was with a mate when he nicked a car … well, it added up. But I wasn’t, like, dealing drugs or anything.’
‘I know that, I wasn’t saying that. It’s just … I’m not being nosy, only if you ever want to talk about it. You’ve probably got loads of people to talk to about it, I mean.’
‘Not really.’ He jumped to catch hold of a branch for a second. ‘Thanks.’
‘S’OK.’
It was going on evening. By the time she got home she felt better, though a bit drained. Raymond came barrelling out to meet her in the hall, so she picked him up and carried him into the back room. There were bags all over the place. Her mother was lying on the sofa looking shattered and Sel was watching Spirited Away.
‘Look,’ she said, pausing it, ‘look at my shorts!’ They were pink with strawberries on. ‘And this is for you!’ She lobbed a bag towards Minny.
It had a Snoopy T-shirt in it and a yellow square scarf to tie over her hair. ‘Wow,’ she said. ‘Thanks. What’s all the rest of this stuff?’
‘Most of it’s Ash’s,’ Nita said. Minny dumped Raymond onto her middle and bent to pick up a bag she’d accidentally trodden on. A bra slithered out of it. It was beautiful, pink with spots and ribbons, and also clearly push-up. Her mother looked up at her. ‘I thought she was old enough for some real underwear now. Your turn next.’
Minny didn’t mind Ash getting a new bra. She was only a bit surprised because Nita used to harp on about how awful it was that shops sold these things for young girls. But then Ash would be sixteen in two months.
‘And they went to the hairdresser,’ Selena piped up, pausing her film again. ‘Ash got a haircut.’ Aisling never went to the hairdresser, since she had had a meltdown there when she was five. Nita cut her hair.
‘Well, I was sick of her looking exactly like me,’ their mother said, shrugging. ‘I’ll take you next time, Minny. Just because my hair just hangs off my head, there’s no reason why you lot shouldn’t have actual hairstyles.’
Minny heard Ash coming in and turned round. It was amazing. She couldn’t say anything for a moment. Ash’s hair had got longer and longer over the years since she’d stopped minding washing it, and it did a pretty good job of hiding her face. Now whoever had cut it had really taken a lot off so that it was just down to her shoulders, and they’d also cut a fringe, a really thick one. There she was with this blonde bob, all chic and everything. It was weird. ‘You look different,’ Minny said.
‘I know.’
People noticed at church next morning. Lots of old people telling her how grown-up she looked. She looked worriedly back at them and dipped her shoulders at first; by the time they got to their normal row of seats – near enough the door to get out if someone had a meltdown, and near the kiddy books for Raymond and Selena – she was just ignoring them.
‘You should say thank you when people give you compliments,’ Nita whispered as they sat down.
‘I don’t want to.’
‘Well, all right then, but try to smile if you can. It’s nice of them really.’
‘I would smile,’ Selena said.
‘We know you would,’ Minny assured her.
Granny, in the row in front, turned round just then, saw Ash, put her hand to her face and nearly started crying. Franklin just nodded.
‘Ask him round for dinner,’ her mother hissed later as they came back from Communion.
‘No, it’s too weird.’
‘Then I will.’
Granny was full-on chatting with one of her Irish pals when they met in the crush leaving the church. ‘Did you see my granddaughter here with the hair? Isn’t it terrible the way they grow up?’
‘Oh, it is, Judy, it is.’
‘Aisling, you are a beauty, child.’
Nita reached out over Selena’s head and seized Franklin’s elbow. ‘Good to see you, Franklin. Surviving school so far? Would you like to come round for tea this week – say on Thursday?’
‘Er – yes,’ he said. ‘OK.’
‘That’s great.’
‘What do you want to be asking the boy over for,’ Granny said, turning round. ‘Won’t your mother be cooking? And Franklin’s not used to that kind of thing.’ Minny and Nita were both taken aback. ‘You know. What are you having, some old thing with pickles in it or something?’
‘No,’ Nita said. ‘I was going to ask what you’d both like. You’ll come too, won’t you, Judy? I was going to ask if you would like spaghetti and meatballs better or –’ Minny could tell she was rethinking the satay – ‘or lamb? Or chicken?’
‘You gave them three options,’ Minny said to her as they left the building together, Selena dragging her feet and Ash skipping ahead.
‘I had a sudden vision of all three of you – and me too – sitting looking at Franklin with spaghetti all over our faces.’
Once she was out of church, Minny noticed that Aisling seemed quite pleased with her hairstyle; she caught her looking at herself in the front-room mirror that afternoon. Still, walking into school with her on Monday, she wondered if it was really a good idea, giving a makeover to someone who would probably choose to be invisible if she could. Not that anyone said anything, except Andrew Fogarty, who bumped into them outside Minny’s form room and told Aisling she looked like Goldie Hawn. Which was strange on a lot of levels. But she heard people muttering, and one boy in her year, Matei Gonzalez, who was disgusting, said to her at lunch, ‘Your sister, Minny, eh? Getting herself a nice little figure,’ and nodded in a terrible way. Minny could have understood if he’d said something about her hair, but the fact that he noticed the very first day she was wearing a new bra – it was repellent.
‘It’s not as if she’s suddenly a page-three girl, for God’s sake,’ she said to Franklin.
That evening she was watching TV on her own because the others were in bed when Nita came in. She thought she was in trouble again, but Nita asked her very nicely if she’d mind turning it off so they could talk.
‘What about?’ Minny asked, pressing the off button. She hadn’t really been watching it anyway. She was thinking, depressedly, about English, and the fact that they were meant to read Jane Eyre over the summer. She’d tried it before, and it had been too hard.
‘Well, I’ve been speaking to your dad a bit on the phone lately.’
‘Oh.’
‘Now don’t shut down. Let me tell you what about.’ Nita was putting on music as she spoke, Aoife O’Donovan, which was what she listened to when she was melancholy but didn’t want to be. ‘He’s really anxious to start … building bridges with you girls. You know what I mean. He’s dying for you to come round and see his flat, for instance. And I’ve been thinking that it might be easier for all of you to really talk to him if you did go round there. And if I wasn’t there, I mean, or your babička either.’
Minny didn’t like the way this was going. ‘Why?’
‘Oh. Because I don’t want you having to deal with any sort of misplaced sense of loyalty to me, I suppose, as well as all your other feelings. You know that I would like it if you could have
a relationship with your father, don’t you, Minny?’
‘Yes,’ Minny said, because she didn’t want to listen to her mother denying that her father being around made her sad.
‘And it’s not as if we’re talking about going to see him somewhere far away, is it? I mean, I wouldn’t have shipped you off to New York, for instance. But it’s London. If you were hating every second, or if something happened, well, you could just come home.’
‘When are we talking about here, Mother?’ Minny interrupted.
‘You know I have to go up to Edinburgh in August, don’t you?’
‘Is that definitely happening?’
‘Yes. Someone came to watch the rehearsal and talk to me and they think they definitely want it.’
‘Wow. That’s good.’
‘Yes. But I’ve been worrying about what to do with you kids. Because you know yourself that Babi’s attention span isn’t the best for these things. Now, leaving her with Raymond alone I think would be safe …’
‘In August?’ Minny wailed.
‘Yes. But the thing is, I don’t want to just pack the three of you off there without – I don’t know – making sure it won’t be a complete nightmare. For you, or for Ash, or for Selena either.’
‘What are you suggesting?’
‘I’d love it if you would go and stay there for a couple of days sometime soon.’
‘What, on my own?’
‘Yes.’
‘That’s a terrible idea. Why can’t one of them go?’
‘Now, Minny, you know I couldn’t possibly send either of them anywhere on their own. They need either you or me with them when they go to new places. And Aisling – especially right now—’
‘But Sel’s the one who wants to go. I don’t want to.’
‘Let me tell you why I think it would be a good thing.’
‘You already did.’
‘No, I mean for you. You would get a couple of days away from us here, which I think you might enjoy – in itself, I mean. You could do with a break. And you’re the one who’s really in control of how this goes with your dad. Yes, Selena is dying to see more of him. And when she knows him better, she can do that, independently of you and Ash if that’s the way it works out. But, for now, she needs you to smooth the path.’
‘How is that about what’s good for me?’
‘I got sidetracked. No, I didn’t. Listen, you know you would like a relationship with your father. It’s OK to admit that.’
After a struggle Minny shrugged. ‘Maybe if I could design my own father. But I can’t. The only one on offer is crap.’
‘I grant you he’s been a bad dad so far, all in. But he’s not a bad man, so he’s not going to screw you over on purpose. And he’s desperate to rebuild this relationship, which means you’re in a position of power. You call the shots. So take what you want. By which I do not mean money – before the dollar signs light up in your eyes, or else you get shocked with me – I’m not sure which is more likely with you. But figure out what you might like in your life that you don’t have, and maybe you can get it from him.’
‘But Mum – look how things got left,’ Minny protested. ‘I can’t go round there on my own, after shouting at him the last time I saw him – and her.’
‘No, OK, I can see that. But he’s already apologised to me for what he said and, as a way of easing you in, he wants to take all three of you out for a nice afternoon.’
If she had led with that there was no way Minny would have agreed. Now she felt she couldn’t not. ‘Mnnn,’ she moaned.
‘Look, at the moment you’ve got no relationship at all with him, so what have you got to lose?’
Minny didn’t have anything to say. The only real reason she had left for not agreeing to a weekend staying with them was that it was scary. The idea of going to stay, on her own, somewhere she’d never been was scary; the idea of having to hang out with two adults that, truly, she didn’t know was scary; the idea of having to tell one of them why she was really, really angry with him was terrifying. But that sounded too pathetic, and anyway, it was more reason than ever to agree to this afternoon out, where at least she’d have Aisling and Selena to protect her.
SEVEN
It was a hard week at school. It was all getting a bit too much, between avoiding Penny all day, watching out for Aisling, and at home keeping an eye on Selena, who was very highly strung lately and kept bursting into tears, plus all the normal family stuff and Gil coming round all the time – and dreading going out with her father. They weren’t told what he had planned, only to be home from school smartly on Thursday. ‘But that’s when Franklin’s coming for dinner,’ Minny said.
‘And Granny.’ Selena was doing a handstand, which was forbidden in the kitchen.
‘Oh, that’s right. Well –’ Nita looked frazzled – ‘do you think Franklin would mind if we asked him to come on Saturday instead?’
Minny sighed. ‘I don’t know. He’s probably busy.’
‘Go ring your granny and ask?’ her mother begged. She was trying to wash up with Raymond balanced on her hip; he was teething and needy.
‘Oh God, do I have to? It’s a bit embarrassing. “You can’t come round after all because we’re going out on a picnic with our daddy”.’
‘Is it a picnic?’ Selena asked, resurfacing with pink cheeks.
‘I don’t know yet, sweetheart. But your father’s taken the afternoon off work especially so I think … oh, I’ll ring them in a minute.’
‘No,’ Minny said, ‘I’ll do it.’ She got Franklin of course. Typical. He listened without comment while she explained. ‘Mum says can you both come round on Saturday instead,’ she finished.
‘Sure, probably.’
‘You’re not busy?’
‘I don’t think so. I’ll get Judy to ring you.’
‘OK.’ She waited. ‘I’m really sorry. None of us actually want to go. But …’
‘You have to. Yeah. It’s your dad and everything.’ He didn’t have a dad of course. Minny wished it was Penny; she’d never much minded putting Penny off, whatever was happening. ‘I’ll see you at school,’ he said.
‘OK.’ Actually he probably wouldn’t. At least she never seemed to see him there much.
On Thursday Minny was poised to leave school sharply at ten past three. She had even grabbed Aisling on her way to the cloakroom to get her things, and pinned her in a corner so they couldn’t lose each other; she’d promised Nita, and Selena, they’d both be home by half past. Only Penny came belting up to her just as she was slamming her locker shut. ‘Minny – can I talk to you?’
‘Um – I have to go.’ She gestured at Aisling, who was gazing into space.
‘Please. Can we talk?’ She looked upset.
‘I can’t, really, Penny. Unless you come with us right now. We promised we’d be home by half three.’
‘Why?’ Penny demanded.
Minny sighed. ‘We’re going out with my dad.’
‘With your dad?’ Of course, she didn’t know any of the ins and outs of this.
‘Yeah. Sorry, can’t be late, we said—’
‘Fine.’ She flung off without even saying goodbye.
When they got home Nita was belting around finding sun hats and enough sun cream for everyone, and before they got any questions answered they had to go upstairs and get changed into clean clothes. Their dad turned up before they were done and shouted, ‘Hurry up, the light’s going,’ up the stairs, which was ridiculous considering it was twenty to four on a midsummer afternoon and absolutely blazing sunshine outside. Then, just as Minny was about to run down the stairs, he yelled, ‘Bring the guitar.’
‘What?’ she demanded, hesitating at the top. ‘Why?’
‘To add to the romance of the evening.’
‘You’re not putting us up on some stage, are you?’
It turned out that what he had planned was an evening going up the river in a boat – or down the river – Minny had never grasped which wa
y was which, but anyway it was a turn-up because they’d never done that sort of thing before. The girls all looked at each other, unsure, but their mother said it was a great idea. ‘What will you do?’ Minny asked, getting sun cream rubbed energetically into her shoulders.
Nita laughed. ‘Oh, Raymond and I have got big plans about dinner and the park. He’ll be walking when you get back, all he ever needed was a little one-on-one attention.’ She picked the baby up as they were going out and held him like a teddy bear.
It was the worst-looking boat ever. Des had clearly not seen it beforehand because he looked very doubtful as they all clambered in; it looked most like a tin bath. It did have a motor; at least they didn’t all have to learn to row. There were life jackets, but only for Selena, because she was under eight, and Aisling, who couldn’t swim. Minny was pleased she didn’t have to try to carry one off. It was scorchingly sunny on the river at first but after a while it got a lot softer and the breeze was cooler. It was all very strange – they didn’t go further into London – ‘too much traffic,’ he said, looking slightly anxious – and so everything got greener and greener, with willows dipping their fingers in the water like Selena did (till Aisling mentioned the rats), and gold-and-green meadows, and old grey houses all in rows looking like something out of Charles Dickens, only cleaner. The horse chestnut trees were lit with pink-and-white candles. They saw horses a couple of times. Their father insisted that they all try driving the boat; Minny nearly put them into the bank, but Aisling was surprisingly good, and Selena, with her legs dangling down like Kermit the Frog, kept it straightest of all. Her father took the guitar and reminded them of the old songs that had been in the house a lot when they were small. Aisling naturally remembered all the words. He couldn’t concentrate though, for watching where the boat was going, so he passed the guitar over to Minny. When they’d finished singing ‘I Shall Be Released’, with Minny strumming, hotch-potchily, behind the voices, he leaned back and stretched.
‘Beautiful,’ he remarked. ‘You sing just like your mother, Aisling.’
‘I know.’