by Aoife Walsh
‘And you, with the guitar,’ he said to Minny. ‘Did you ever hear the story of how your mother and I met in the first place?’
‘Yes,’ they said together.
‘I haven’t.’ That was Selena, still concentrating on the steering.
‘Oh, Selena,’ Minny said impatiently, ‘you must have.’
‘I haven’t.’ It wasn’t much of a story really, more of an atmosphere, and they knew it backwards. Their father had heard of a band, when he was at university, who were looking for a second guitarist – ‘I thought it would help me meet girls’ (their mother would say he’d worked his way already through all the girls on his course) – and then he turned up to a practice to meet them and the singer, and guitarist, was a girl, Anita Andersen, their mother. And even though the kind of folky, country music they were playing was not at all his kind of thing, he immediately turned hippy and gave up rock. It was so familiar, listening to it, even though they were in a boat and everything was different, that Minny almost found herself wishing that the last few years hadn’t gone the way they had, and that her mother was the love of her father’s life, the way she’d been meant to be. For all the good it did.
The sky was turning pale blue behind them when he started looking out for the stopping place – a beautiful old pub with outdoor tables where they bought chips and burgers that seemed to have half a chicken each in them. He had deep-fried halloumi in his, but he didn’t get to eat much of it once Selena found out it squeaked in her mouth. Minny watched Sel throwing bits of her bun at the ducks, and Ash talking to Des about football transfer rumours, and reminded herself that the weather, and the river, and the English landscape were all on her father’s side today and giving him a distinct advantage. But she couldn’t help feeling mellow.
‘You know, Ash,’ her father said, pinching chips off Selena’s neglected plate, ‘the last time we talked about this kind of stuff, most of the time you were on about made-up players and your own version of the leagues.’
‘Hmm. I know,’ Aisling said, going a little pink. ‘But do you think that Man United will buy him?’
‘I don’t know. It’s interesting. Do you never make up people now? You used to love it.’
‘Not really, Des.’
‘Why not? Did you grow out of it?’
‘Hm, maybe.’
‘The one I really missed,’ he said, draining his pint, ‘was Roger Ram.’
‘Oh, Roger Ram, yes.’
‘We still hear about Roger Ram sometimes,’ Minny put in.
‘Roger Ram was never one of the people I made up,’ Ash said seriously. ‘I just sang the song about him.’
‘Yes. To annoy everyone.’
‘Well, I missed him,’ Des said. ‘In crowded New York subways and in Central Park and up the Empire State Building and – especially – going round the Guggenheim, I missed him.’
Then it was all pile back into the bath because they suddenly realised it did get dark even in July, in the end, and they didn’t know what to do about lights or anything. But they made it back safely, going rather faster and straighter, and seeing the houses and trees start to loom on the banks as the shadows got deeper. ‘Shall we have the old guitar out again?’ Des asked as they passed the horses, standing peacefully in the dusk.
‘No,’ Minny said. She was too settled to want to move. ‘I think I’ve exhausted my repertoire anyway.’
‘Do you remember when you were going to be in a band, with your friend Penny?’ he said. ‘What happened with that?’
‘She just wanted to sing awful songs and wear lipstick and cropped T-shirts,’ Minny said. She leaned back against the side of the boat. It was tempting to trail a hand in the water, now that it was reflecting the lights from along the banks like rippled green glass. ‘How do you know about that anyway? That was after you left.’
‘No, it wasn’t.’
‘I’m sure it was.’
‘I distinctly remember the pair of you in cropped T-shirts creating a lot of noise.’
‘Disgusting pop songs,’ Sel said with relish. ‘Raunchy.’
‘They were not raunchy, Selena,’ Minny said, while their father roared with laughter. ‘We weren’t doing anything raunchy AT ALL.’
‘Well, would you have sung them to Father Hilary?’
They quietened down after that, and Sel was asleep when they moored. ‘I hope she didn’t get too much sun,’ Des said, lifting her up. Minny was thinking about her mother – she’d felt oddly guilty leaving her behind earlier.
‘So you had a good time?’ Nita asked, after Des had left and she’d got Selena into bed. Babi was still out, and she’d been drinking wine and listening to Townes Van Zandt.
‘We did.’
‘I don’t know why we’ve never done that before. It seems crazy when you think about it, living on the river like we do.’
‘Yeah.’
‘So … you’re all right about going to stay at the flat?’ Minny wouldn’t have said she was all right. She was dreading it. One afternoon with her father and sisters was not the same as a whole weekend at his unknown flat on her own with him and his pregnant girlfriend. Still. It was more than a week away. This weekend all she had to do was entertain Franklin Conderer at dinner.
‘I’m sorry we had to go off on Thursday,’ she said to Franklin, while they were laying the table on Saturday evening.
‘It’s OK. It worked out quite well, I went up North London instead. To see the guys at Wellspring. You know – where I was staying before I came here.’
‘Oh, right.’ She hauled the table around so that Babi’s place would be straddling the table leg. ‘Actually, no, I don’t really know. You haven’t said much about it.’
He moved the pepper closer to the salt. ‘It was just a place, with people living in it who were, you know. Into God and stuff. Spreading the Word. Some of them were really good guys.’
‘How did you end up there?’
‘It was my mate, who lived next door – she knew them from her church. And I couldn’t stay at home because my mum was going a bit nuts and taking loads of drugs and stuff at the time. I’d been getting into trouble, but they still said I could go and stay there, if I behaved.’
Minny straightened the chairs. ‘Could you have stayed on for ever?’
‘Not really. My hearing came up in the end. The thing was, they didn’t really do things like taking on full-on parental responsibility, and I couldn’t ask them to do it for me. And my mum didn’t want me living there.’ He grinned. ‘She thought it was a cult.’
‘So did she want you to come home?’
‘That wasn’t going to happen. But she thought of Judy in the end and got the social worker to ring her.’ He shrugged. ‘I’m glad really. It was all right there, but it was a bit intense for long-term.’
‘You’re very calm about it all,’ Minny said. She felt shy. ‘I mean, your mum and everything. You were pretty mental when we were little, the way I remember it.’
‘I don’t know. You can be all angry. But there isn’t much point really. I mean, this guy Christopher, at Wellspring, he said something to me when I was a bit cut up once about my mum being so useless. He said that you can’t change the past, you can only change the future.’
‘Right.’
‘And that’s all anyone can do. So it’s best not to be one of the people who get all hung up on the past.’
Pondering, Minny went to get drinks while her mother served up the chicken diablo. When she came back Selena was capering around wearing Gil’s hat, which he’d left behind the previous evening. Franklin and Ash were laughing.
‘I’m Gil,’ Sel said, thrusting out her hips. ‘I’ve got a big tummy.’ It wasn’t exactly biting satire, but it made Minny giggle. Unfortunately Babi was just coming in with the rice.
‘I just find it a little offensive.’ She was still going on about it after hands had been washed and grace said. It wasn’t like Babi not to play it cool, especially in front of Granny, who seem
ed to think the whole thing was hilarious. ‘When Gil is here with us he is my guest. He is also a gentleman of a certain age who is entitled to a little respect.’
Granny speared a piece of chicken and muttered something about being a certain age herself and beyond being told who to respect.
‘Anyway,’ said Minny, ‘I don’t see why we should respect him just because he’s old.’
Babi glared at her. ‘It’s not just because he’s – it’s not just because of his age.’
‘Well, what then? Because he was in the army?’
‘Yes, maybe.’
Minny put her knife and fork down, ready for an argument.
Nita sighed. ‘Look, let’s not talk about it any more. It’s a bit difficult to cope with the parameters of this family sometimes, that’s all. Girls, leave Gil’s hat alone in future, all right?’
EIGHT
Trying to keep her eye on Aisling at school turned out to be a giant fail the following week. Minny was in the chemistry lab one afternoon doing some unbelievably tedious experiment badly when the door opened – they were very thick heavy doors, but still it nearly slammed back against the wall, and Franklin busted in. Penny, who was on the next bench, dropped her test tube and then immediately cut her finger on the fragments.
‘Franklin Conderer!’ Mr Gilliam barked. ‘Have you never been taught how to enter a room? We’re conducting an experiment here. What do you want?’
Franklin didn’t say anything at all to the teacher, just kept on looking around the lab till he saw Minny. He was panting. ‘Er –’ he said, coughing hackingly. ‘I think you’d better come. It’s Aisling.’
‘What is?’ Minny asked, starting across the room still holding her boiling tube.
‘We had PE – I don’t know, I was playing basketball, but we just came back in to get changed and someone’s ruined her clothes. She’s upset.’
Minny was at the bench nearest the door before she thought to put down the boiling tube, which also broke.
‘Minny!’ Mr Gilliam shouted.
‘I’ll be back in a minute,’ she shouted back. Then she was galloping down the stairs with Franklin wheezing beside her. She started undoing the string of her lab coat.
‘I said, should I get you, and the teacher said no.’
‘They don’t normally.’ She nearly tripped as they rounded the corner of the second-floor landing. ‘After I got suspended that time, they said to remember my school experience has its own integrity or something.’
‘Yeah,’ Franklin panted, ‘but that’s bollocks, isn’t it?’
‘What happened?’ She didn’t know why she was so panicked; she didn’t normally feel responsible for Ash when she had a meltdown. Franklin having fled across the courtyard and up three floors to get her probably had something to do with it.
‘Bitches in my year. Stuffed her clothes in the toilet while we were outside.’
Minny could hear Ash screaming as they went in the door of the main building. She wished her mother was there, and that she was fitter.
They were all standing around; the teacher hadn’t even thought to tell them to sod off so that Ash could have a chance to calm down. Mrs Lynley was walking around her helplessly in a circle trying to be heard, and the SENCO teacher was just turning up. No one had even got the clothes out of the toilet, though Minny could see why. They weren’t just stuffed in there, they were soiled. She went up to Ash and put her arms around her tightly. Sometimes that worked when their mother did it. Ash was bright red, every part of her skin that could be seen.
‘It’s OK,’ Minny soothed through the shrieks. Aisling took a huge breath that made her choke. ‘It’s only clothes.’
‘It’s my favourite j-jeans and my … new underwear.’
Minny could see the pink strap of the bra, trailing out of the toilet bowl. She let go of Ash, who banged her head against the nearest metal locker. ‘Who did it?’ Minny said, only it came out as a shout.
‘That’s not the point right now, Minny,’ Mrs Lynley said. She started trying to get near Ash again.
‘Aisling needs to get a grip on herself and calm down,’ Miss Lloyd the PE teacher sounded actually angry. With Ash. Minny noticed she had her arm around Maria Hoyle, who was holding onto her own face and apparently crying.
‘Was it her?’ she demanded.
‘Shush now, Minny. Shouldn’t you be in class?’ Mrs Lynley had got between Minny and Aisling.
‘Was it you, Maria?’
‘Leave Maria alone.’
‘Leave her alone?’
‘Yes!’ Mrs Lynley lowered her voice. ‘Aisling hit her in the face. I know she’s distressed but – we need to get her to calm down. She’s not doing herself any good.’
Minny looked around at them all. There was half a classful of them standing there, watching; no one was sniggering now, like they must have been ten minutes before when Ash came into the locker room; they all looked shocked because she’d lashed out in total despair at one of the people being cruel to her. Now she’d probably be the one in trouble. Mrs Lynley, and Miss Lloyd, and Miss Terry, who was supposed to be the teacher with special responsibility to protect Ash, were all just standing there, with the people who’d been in her class since she was twelve and Maria Hoyle with her slightly marked face.
‘Right,’ Minny said. She went around Mrs Lynley and over to Aisling’s locker. She knew there would be a plastic bag in her school bag ‘for emergencies’. She found it and started putting the clothes into it, which was icky. They were all watching as if they were in a trance. Then she put her arm around Ash and guided her towards the door.
‘Thank you,’ she said to Franklin, who was almost breathing normally again.
‘You can’t just walk out of here,’ Mrs Lynley called. ‘This is school.’
‘Yeah, OK,’ Minny called back, steering towards the main door.
She managed to get Ash right out the gate and down the street; it took all her strength, not that Aisling was resisting exactly, but she didn’t know what to do with herself. ‘We’re going home,’ Minny kept saying. She could never drag her all the way there. Thankfully she had her mobile in her skirt pocket. Her bag with her keys was still up in the chemistry lab though. When they got to the corner with the main road and she could see there was no one coming after them, she stopped where Aisling could lean against a wall and called her mother. Of course Nita didn’t answer, she never heard her mobile when she was teaching, but Minny left a message. Then she tried the house in case Babi was already there, but no one picked up.
‘What are we going to do now?’ Aisling asked, wiping tears and snot back to her hairline.
‘Shhh,’ Minny said, ‘don’t worry.’ She dialled her father’s number.
He answered immediately. That was working in an office for you. He listened, and was decisive. ‘Call your babička,’ he said.
‘She’s not at home. I think she’s in one of her meetings.’
‘Call her on her mobile. If you can’t get her, go straight home. Straight home, but let me know and I’ll get my mother round. I’m on my way, you hear me?’
‘Yes.’
‘I’m getting a taxi.’
‘But we’ll be all right once we’re home. Mum will be back soon anyway.’
‘I don’t care, I’m on my way. Just get your sister home.’
She didn’t know why she’d called him really, except she sort of wanted him to come steaming across London with three lawyers and scare the bejesus out of everyone at the school. She called Babi, who sounded guardedly surprised as she answered her mobile but who said she’d be right there.
They waited. They were on a good stretch for the car to stop. When Babi pulled up they both got in the back.
‘Your mother is picking up the baby. They’ll be home in a few minutes,’ she said. ‘I didn’t try to call her because I was afraid she’d want to go to the school straightaway.’
‘We’re not going near the school,’ Minny said.
�
��No,’ Babi agreed, and did a screeching U-turn right in the middle of the road.
It took all afternoon for Nita to calm Aisling down in stages and be on the phone to the school in between. Their father spent most of it looking after Selena, who was upset, partly because no one had remembered to pick her up on time, but he did have one short conversation with the headteacher, Mr Boyne, which almost blasted their eardrums in the next room before Nita hurriedly shut the door. Eventually the clock ticked round to takeaway-time and Babi took Selena and the baby out to pick up a Chinese. Nita called Minny into the back room, where Aisling was huddled on the sofa and their father was waiting. ‘We don’t need to make major policy decisions right now,’ she said, ‘we’re all upset, but I just want to reassure you, Ash, that this was a big deal and that we’re not going to try to forget about it or anything. Also to tell you both that you are not in any trouble.’
‘No, you are not,’ Des said.
‘I can’t say that we’re on precisely the same page with the school on that at the moment, but that will absolutely be sorted out.’
‘Yes,’ said their father, ‘because otherwise I will sue them through the courts and they won’t like that.’
It seemed to Minny that her sister needed to hear something more definite about her future, however upset they all were. ‘Aisling can’t go there any more, Mum.’
Ash looked up at her and wiped her nose on the cushion. Nita put her tea down and rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands, so that the remainder of her mascara and eyeliner smeared all around her eye sockets. ‘What do you say about that, Ash?’
Ash didn’t say anything.
‘It’s not fair to make her go back. She’s had enough.’
Nita looked at Des. ‘I think Minny’s right.’
‘Yes.’
‘Would it make you feel better, Aisling, if we said you don’t have to go back to Raleigh?’
Aisling removed the cushion from in front of her face. ‘Never?’
‘Well. It’s nearly the summer holidays, which will give us a bit of time to explore options to get you through till sixth form—’
‘Never, if you don’t want to, Ash,’ their father interrupted. ‘Look, Nita, I’m sure you know a lot more than me about what’s available, and I know you’ve been teaching her maths for ages anyway, but I have a bit of spare cash now – we could look at tutoring. We’ll figure it out.’