by Aoife Walsh
‘You’ll probably take this as evidence that I’m gay,’ Alex said, ‘but I like bananas.’
‘I like bananas too,’ she said. ‘Are you gay?’
‘No.’
‘Why would I need evidence that you were gay?’
‘I don’t know. I like pineapple as well.’
‘Oh. I think I like plums best.’ She felt pleased with the inspiration.
‘Really? That’s weird.’
‘No, right, because I know, you take a fruit like an apple, or an orange or something, right? And most of the time it’s nice. I mean, sometimes it’s really nice, but mostly it’s fine, you don’t often have a bad apple, for instance. And you don’t see plums all that much, I mean it’s not like they’re in the shops all year round, and even when they are they mostly aren’t that great. But when you do get a good one – mmmm. It’s special. You forget in between, you see. You’ve forgotten. But I … remember. Have you read The Grapes of Wrath?’
He hadn’t, he said. Minny thought that Franklin might have done – she’d been meaning to ask him – and if he hadn’t then he should read it now, so she got up and went to find him. Also Aisling. Just as she got to the kitchen door there was a big bustle and a whole stream of people poured in through the front door, so she waited; some of them split off into the side rooms, and others pushed past her into the kitchen and through to the garden. When there was space she went to find Aisling, who had been through the second door playing Cluedo, only she wasn’t now; she was standing by the bookcase with someone in front of her. It was Georgia McDonald. Who had been suspended after the thing with Aisling’s clothes. And, now Minny looked, she was flanked by Maria Hoyle and Matty Dent, who was sort of Georgia’s boyfriend possibly, and a couple of others. They were all twice Aisling’s size. And Ash looked miserable and terrified. In fact, Minny could hear her saying, ‘Leave me alone.’
‘No, why should I? You think you can try and get us expelled and expect us to be nice about it?’ Before Minny had gathered herself together, Georgia McDonald pushed Aisling, and Aisling, who hadn’t been expecting it, staggered back into the bookcase.
‘Leave her alone.’ It wasn’t Minny’s own voice, though it was so much what she had been about to shout that she squeaked in agreement before looking round. Jorge was standing in the other half of the room, by the other door as if he’d just come in. There were a lot of people sitting down in there, though she couldn’t see Penny. He walked over. ‘Leave her, Georgia.’
‘Oh, rod off, Jorge.’
‘Leave her alone.’
‘Or what?’ Matty Dent was massive.
‘I’m not talking to you,’ Jorge told him. ‘I will, if you want, but I’m just asking Georgia nicely to leave Aisling alone.’
‘Yeah? Why should I?’
‘Because she was invited,’ Veronica said from the doorway. ‘And you weren’t, so you can leave.’
Minny used the pause to step across the gap and take up a place next to Ash, between her and Maria Hoyle.
‘You’re trying to kick me out?’
‘Yeah. And you lot as well,’ Veronica said to all the people with her.
‘What?’ Maria started. ‘I haven’t even done anything.’
‘But I don’t like you.’
Jorge continued to stand where he was until they had left, laughing and kicking stuff on their way out, and then walked out of the room without catching anyone’s eye.
‘Thanks for that, Veronica,’ Minny said.
‘S’my absolute pleasure. Are you all right, Aisling?’
Ash was white. ‘I want to go home,’ she said to Minny, as if they were alone. Veronica backed tactfully away.
‘Why? It’s fine now.’
‘No, I want to go home.’ Her hands clenched and unclenched. Minny, who felt like they ought to stay since a bunch of people had just been thrown out for their sake, and who wanted to stay, tried to soothe her but couldn’t. Finally she said, ‘Well, fine, if you can convince Franklin, we’ll go, but not for a few minutes or we’ll just bump straight into that lot again outside. Fifteen minutes, OK?’ It was ten o’clock. ‘Quarter past ten, yeah? Why don’t we go into the garden.’ But then she got held up herself in the kitchen because there was a scene going on, which Ash could walk straight through but she couldn’t.
A lot of people just seemed to be watching Jorge be angry with Penny, which was odd; they were really rubbernecking. Penny was trying to put her arms around him but he was shouting at her. ‘Christ, stop being so bloody needy and leave me alone for a single second.’
‘OK, I’m sorry, I just wanted to—’
‘God, it’s pathetic. Just go and talk to someone else.’
‘Don’t—’
He put his arms up and shrugged hers off.
She started crying.
He went outside.
She fled, sniffling, past Minny – gave her a scared look – and up the corridor. Minny heard her thumping up the stairs. She hovered, glancing round to see if anyone else was going to follow, and then looking outside after Ash – Ash was probably with Franklin. She ran after Penny.
She was sitting on the bathroom floor, back against the bath, but she hadn’t shut the door properly let alone locked it. Next morning Minny would reflect that she had probably hoped to be followed, although possibly not by Minny.
‘Are you OK?’ Minny asked.
‘Fine.’ She sobbed. Minny went and sat down beside her, and considered what to say.
‘He shouldn’t treat you like that,’ she offered in the end.
‘He doesn’t normally. Not often. I think I drive him mental.’
‘Why are you going out with him then?’
‘I don’t know. I love him.’
‘I mean, why is he going out with you if he doesn’t like you?’
‘I didn’t say … Of course he likes me. He loves me. Oh, shut up, Minny. What do you care anyway?’
‘I don’t, I just …’
‘You just hate Jorge.’
‘I don’t, actually, he was—’
‘You just hate me then.’
‘I don’t.’ All her anger came bubbling up suddenly. ‘I could though, why shouldn’t I? Your mother told my dad I was taking loads of drugs and practically in a gang or something with Franklin, and he believed it. Now we have to stay with my bloody grandmother when my mum goes to Edinburgh …’
‘I don’t understand a word you’re saying. You’re drunk.’
‘Oh, why not say I’m bloody high as well? Hooked on drugs, me.’
‘I don’t have to listen to this,’ Penny muttered, gathering up her bag.
‘The point is, you’re a liar.’
‘Oh, leave me alone, Minny! I’m going home, I hate everyone!’ She was off again, leaping over Minny’s legs and galloping down the stairs.
‘Wait, Penny, you can’t go on your own,’ Minny shouted over the banisters after her. ‘Wait, we’re leaving now too …’ but the front door banged.
She hurried down, thinking that if she could find Ash and Franklin in time then they might catch Penny up. Her mother had rubbed it well into her that you didn’t walk around on your own after dark. She found Franklin all right, but not ready to leave – he was on the sofa under the window in the sitting room with Linnea on his lap.
She stopped dead in the doorway. He looked up and saw her before she could back out, if she’d been going to. And she was mortified that he must have seen her expression, and furious and anxious that she could not be on her own right then, immediately, so she dashed out to the garden, to a gap in the blackberry bushes where there was a wall to lean against for a second.
‘Minny.’ He was calling her, almost instantly. She stayed silent and didn’t look round. ‘Minny.’ He was close now, ignoring the people who greeted him, and she knew he must have seen her. The breeze blew against her as he came and stood beside her. ‘Minny.’
‘What?’
‘I don’t know. You ran off.’
&nb
sp; ‘I’ve got to go home.’
‘OK, well, I’ll come …’
‘I didn’t want to disturb you.’ She wasn’t going to just not mention it.
He sighed. ‘Sorry about her. Linnea.’
‘Why are you sorry?’
‘She just came and sat there.’ Silence. ‘What, you think I seized her and said, “Come and sit on my lap, petal, you’re everything I desire”?’
‘I don’t know. Why not. She’s pretty. Got nice hair.’
‘She’s OK, but …’
‘But what? I thought that’s all you were interested in.’
‘Why are you so angry?’
‘I’m not.’ She had stupid tears prickling the backs of her eyeballs, like the brambles were prickling the backs of her legs.
‘Minny …’
‘What?’
He didn’t answer so she turned towards him and he was leaning. At her. His arm went round her waist and his face was so close suddenly that she had a sense that they were sharing air. And for a moment the skin along her arms and back was all tingles and she felt her eyelashes sweep her cheekbones like something out of a perfume advert.
But then she recoiled, so that the brick wall scraped her shoulder blade, and put up her hands to actually push him away.
‘What? What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing, just don’t.’
He looked helpless, he looked embarrassed, even in the dark. ‘Sorry, I thought you wanted—’
‘I didn’t! I don’t. I just didn’t want you to kiss her.’ She gave a miserable, horrified sob and ran away, back into the house, looking round for Aisling. She couldn’t see her, but there was Veronica. ‘Have you seen Ash?’
‘She left.’
‘What? When?’
‘Only a couple of minutes ago. You could catch her.’
‘Oh God.’ She ran for the front door. ‘Thank you for having me,’ she called over her shoulder.
This must be a dream, she thought, running up the dark street, which felt much narrower than it had earlier, and almost misty; she felt like someone in a film, or a Simon and Garfunkel song. She was already out of breath when she reached the corner and stared so anxiously ahead for Aisling that her legs almost couldn’t keep up with her head and she staggered for a second. It wasn’t anywhere near as dark on the main road and there were a few people in sight. One of them, more than two blocks ahead, was probably Aisling, and Minny called her. Not that she answered, of course, and Minny scared herself by how loud her voice was. She kept on running, pretty slowly by the time she got near Ash, who had at least stopped and waited for her. ‘We weren’t supposed to walk home alone,’ Minny gasped.
‘I know.’ She was crying, not loudly but her chest was going up and down too fast. They walked on together, Minny’s knees trembling; she didn’t often run. She was grateful not to be drunk any more.
‘Why are you crying?’
‘I’m not crying.’
‘Yes, you are. Are you worrying about those silly cows?’
‘No.’
‘Well, don’t. That was just bad luck, seeing them tonight. They can’t do anything to you now, can they?’
Aisling sniffed. ‘Where’s Franklin?’
‘I don’t know. Linnea Jessop was after him so – with her, I suppose.’
‘Linnea Jessop?’
‘Yeah.’
‘He wouldn’t like her,’ Aisling said.
‘How would you know?’ Minny was aggravated. ‘He’s a boy, isn’t he? She’s got big boobs and long hair, hasn’t she? Anyway, he didn’t seem to be hating it, with her sitting on his lap. I don’t care.’
‘OK.’ There was a long pause. ‘Roger Ram is up and Roger Ram is down …’ she whispered. Minny had never heard it so quiet. ‘Matty Dent hurt my nipple,’ she said suddenly at normal volume.
‘What?’
‘He pinched my nipple at the party.’
‘What?’
‘When he came in with Maria and Georgia and Simon,’ Aisling explained. ‘I’d just put the Cluedo away and I heard them. I should have gone away. I heard them laughing at me and then he came up behind me and pinched me on the breast, and they all laughed.’
‘What a moron,’ Minny burst out. ‘Did – does it still hurt?’
‘A bit. He twisted it. Why did he do that?’
‘Power,’ Minny said. ‘Just more bullying. It’s not just you though, you know. Someone did that to Penny when she was walking down the street last term, and I got my bum pinched in assembly a couple of weeks ago, I don’t even know who it was. It’s boys. They’re disgusting.’
‘All boys?’
‘Most. Things are so rubbish,’ Minny burst out again.
Aisling rubbed more tears away. ‘What things?’
‘Penny being so mad. She had another go at me – and I wasn’t very nice to her, but she deserved it, only Jorge had just been a right sod. I thought for a second he was OK when he told Georgia off, but then he had to go and be a git to Penny. I don’t get it. And I don’t get why she puts up with it. People seem to put up with such crap from people, some people can get away with anything – boys. And men. Dad being such a prat. You can’t trust anyone, not even Mum – she’s a liar too. She thinks it’s OK because everyone knows, really, everyone who matters knows who Raymond’s father is. Probably even Harriet knows, but no one admits they know and no one says it so it’s not the same thing, is it? It’s still a lie. Because Raymond won’t know. And the whole thing is just her giving Dad an excuse not to take any responsibility for his child, and protecting him from getting into any trouble, like she always does. And Harriet’s another one. And Kevin, you can’t trust him either – I don’t even know him. Maybe he had nothing to do with it, but then all that means is that he doesn’t care about us at all and never got in touch with me – and that it was Dad the whole time. And that would be …’ She thought about it, and shuddered. ‘Even more creepy.’
‘It’s all right, Minny,’ Aisling said. ‘Everything passes.’
Their mother wasn’t home yet, which Minny was glad about in case she still seemed at all drunk, even though she wasn’t. Babi’s bedroom door was shut. When she came out of the bathroom Minny peeped in at Ash’s door, but she was already in bed with the light off. She went into her mother’s room and tucked the light blanket around Raymond, who always kicked it off before he went to sleep. She checked Selena was asleep too before she climbed up into bed. Everyone else had been defecting on her lately. You couldn’t rely on anyone not to start lying or to have been lying all the time, except her sisters and her brother, who wouldn’t bother.
She felt pretty rough the next morning, so it was just as well she didn’t have to get up before her mother left. Babi shouted outside the bedroom door at nine o’clock because she needed help with the baby; when Minny limped downstairs she looked at her with raised eyebrows and then brought her a glass of water. ‘Aisling is mysteriously not feeling so well this morning either,’ she said. ‘Peculiar. Take some ibuprofen and eat some breakfast. I have a meeting in an hour.’
The school reports were lying, opened, on the kitchen counter. Normally Minny might have sneaked a look at Ash’s or even Selena’s, but she wasn’t even up to reading her own. Instead she took a plate of toast into the back room, where Aisling was lying on the sofa with Selena sitting on her legs complaining that it wasn’t fair for one person to take up so much space. They were watching very noisy cartoons. Minny collapsed hastily into the armchair and shut her eyes to eat her breakfast.
TWELVE
The next few days were hardly any better, even though she’d recovered from her hangover. It rained a lot, and even when it wasn’t the sky was grey and low. She felt as if the whole holiday had been ruined and wasted and only despair lay ahead. Nita was so busy with her play: almost every evening if she was in at all, she’d put Raymond to bed and then have to go out again to extra rehearsals, or meetings, or at least sit hunched over the computer looking at figures or catching
up on reports. They had Babi cooking their dinners, which was fine, but she was around most of the day too, which was less fun. So they all got away with trailing wretchedly around the house, likely to be on the verge of tears any moment. Selena was almost the worst; she absentmindedly picked up the phone, which they’d all been avoiding doing, on Saturday afternoon, and it was their father. She listened to him for a minute while Minny considered grabbing the phone from her, then she said, ‘No, I can’t talk now, Daddy,’ hung up and burst into tears. Minny took the phone off the hook, but she wasn’t allowed to leave it like that in case Gil rang.
Then, when it rang again in the evening, there was no one else in the room so Minny picked it up to save Selena’s nerves, and it turned out to be neither Des nor Gil nor a cold-calling insurance salesperson, but Uncle Kevin. ‘Is that you, Minny? Listen, your dad’s just been on the phone to me and I wanted to tell you – well, tell you how it all happened.’
‘Right,’ she said.
‘You remember back when you were nine or ten and we started emailing each other. Mam was over with you of course, and you never came here so I only ever got to talk with you when I was visiting and I hadn’t been for a long time, remember? And then when your dad left and I didn’t feel like – I thought it might be too much for your mother if I came over – I was thrilled to still be in touch. I loved getting your messages, Minny.’ He paused, but she didn’t have anything to say. ‘But then after a while your dad started calling me more. I think he was very lonely over there and he was feeling terrible. He’s my little brother, Minny, it was hard to hear how low he was, and the worst part was being so alienated from you girls. I started reading him out little bits of your emails, funny things, just snippets to prove that you were doing OK and what a grand girl you were. Only it was a lifeline for him and it got to where he was just pestering me all the time until I’d read out whatever you’d written most lately and there didn’t seem any point in not forwarding the messages to him so he could read them himself.’ Minny changed the receiver to her left hand and sat down. ‘… shouldn’t have done that. Then in the end, and I still don’t know how the bugger did it, he hacked into my account somehow and started sending you replies. I don’t suppose he meant any harm, Minny, he was just trying to forge a relationship with you when he was desperate.’