by Kelsey King
“I love you, mom,” I whisper before I rush to my bedroom.
After I close the door, a flood bursts from my eyes, clouding my vision. How the hell did this happen? We used protection every single time. My heart jumps into my throat when I remember the night in Levi's car. We didn't use protection that night. It had been spur of the moment. As I recall, I realize there were two other times we didn't use protection either.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I so badly want to call Vayda and ask her to come over, cry on her shoulder and ask for her advice but there is no way I can do that. She’ll already hate me for dating her dad, she’ll kill me if she found out I was pregnant with her half brother or sister. I cringe at the thought and realize I’m in way over my head.
I love Levi, and I want a future with him, but suddenly that seems impossible. I curse myself. I really got myself into big trouble this time. What if Levi doesn't want the baby, what if this is a deal breaker, what if…
My mind trails off, and I realize none of that matters, the only thing that matters now is the baby growing inside me, and I sure as hell won't let anyone interfere with its happiness.
Levi
What the hell is going on? I pace around the kitchen, my hand sliding over the counter where I first tasted Oakley’s sweetness. She's been avoiding me for three days, and it's bothering the hell out of me.
We were supposed to tell our families two days ago, and she's ignoring my calls and my texts. I try her number again.
“Hi, it’s Oakley. Leave a message after the beep.”
I slam my phone down as Vayda walks into the kitchen. “Hey dad, what’s up?”
“Not much.” I pour myself some juice and lean against the counter trying to seem casual even though I’m reverberating with impatience. “I haven’t seen Oakley around for a few days, you two have a fight?”
Vayda shakes her head and shrugs. “No.” I sigh relieved knowing Oakley didn’t tell her yet. “I think she’s got the flu, or a bug or something. She’s been kind of distant lately.”
I don’t want to ask any more questions that’ll make Vayda suspicious. Oakley has never distanced herself from Vayda, if she’s distancing herself from her closest friend, something is definitely wrong. I clench my jaw and decide if I haven’t heard from her tomorrow I’m going over and finding out what the hell is going on. We’ve sneaked around long enough, and I’m not having our first fucking fight in secret as well. If she’s going to push everyone away because she’s tired of lying, it’s time we stopped.
I spend the rest of the evening checking my phone every fucking five minutes. I look toward her house and see Oakley's lights are off. For a moment I consider heading over there, but the chance of being caught is too high without Oakley as my lookout. By midnight, I head to bed and sleep evades me. A million things are running through my mind. Is she pulling away because of our secret or because she doesn't want to be with me anymore?
The thought makes my stomach feel like a hollow pit that has just been excavated, leaving me raw and exposed. I close my eyes and remember all the times we've spent together—the midnight visits, that first weekend, our secret lunch meetings. No, if there's one thing I'm sure of it's her feelings for me. So whatever is causing her to pull back, it isn't me. I lie awake and watch as the moon rises and sets. When there is a faint light peeking over the horizon, I recheck my phone.
Nothing.
I take a shower and know what I'm about to do is reckless. I'm about to possibly tear apart two families, years of friendship, but I have to. I love Oakley, and I need her to know that. I need to man up and tell her parents the truth.
As I dress, I take care not to look too old, or too young and brush my hair before dabbing some moisturizer on my face. I know I’m procrastinating, but I can’t exactly burst into their house at eight in the morning and drop this bombshell on them.
At just before nine Vayda asks me if I have a date. I evade her question and laugh it off. She’s on her way to meet her boyfriend for breakfast. I’m grateful knowing she won’t be here to witness what I’m about to do.
Shortly after Vayda leaves, I take a deep breath and head over the fence. I notice Oakley standing at the kitchen window as I make my way toward the kitchen door. She flings the door open, looking cute as fuck with messy tousled hair and sleepy eyes.
“What are you doing here?” she asks me distraught, tightening the belt on her robe.
“It’s time,” I say, pushing past her into the kitchen.
Oakley grabs my arm and gives me a pleading look. “No, you can’t now. We need to talk about this first.” She’s pleading, her eyes two big pools blue begging me not to do this.
I clench my teeth and fist my hands at my sides. “Oakley, baby. We have talked about this. It’s time.”
I walk past her into the living room where John and Sarah are having their morning coffee while watching the news.
“John, Sarah, I’m sorry to bother you so early, but we need to talk.”
16
Oakley
Shit, this can’t be happening, I think as I follow Levi into the living room. Deep down I know I pushed him into this corner by avoiding him the past several days. I shove the guilt away and feel a wave of nausea washing over me. I swallow down the bile, knowing now is not the time to excuse myself.
Whatever is about to happen is going to be bad, and I need to be here for it. For Levi and most of all for my parents.
“Levi, this is an early surprise. Oakley, why don’t you get him some coffee?” My dad says with an easy smile gesturing for Levi to take a seat.
I take a step back, grateful for the momentary reprieve, knowing Levi won't start without me, but he turns around, and his eyes peg me to the spot. "That won't be necessary, Oakley. I just had some."
"Levi, is something wrong with Vayda? You seem upset?" my mother asks, standing up and folding her hands in front of her, concern lacing her eyes. I have to stop the urge to roll mine if only my mother knew it was her daughter she should be worried about.
I haven't even entirely made peace with the fact that I'm pregnant yet and now Levi is throwing this curveball. I glance up at the ceiling and hope someone would just give me a fucking break to get my bearings straight.
Another wave of nausea rushes through me, and I can actually feel myself go pale. Levi gives me a concerned look before he moves around the sofa and takes a seat. His eyes meet mine. I know he wants me to sit down next to him.
I can’t…
I need to put some distance between my parents and me. When they find out about Levi and me, they'll probably hate me. And him. If they find out I'm knocked up, they'll probably want to kill us. I want to live my last few moments in peace.
I wonder if I shouldn't try and get Levi's attention. Maybe if I told him I'm pregnant, he'd pause this for now. I widen my eyes at him and move my head an inch, indicating we should talk in private.
He shakes his head and turns to my parents. “What I’m about to say neither of you are going to like, and I understand this might change our friendship. I just want you both to know that I hope one day we’ll be able to be friends again.”
“What the hell, Levi,” my dad laughs nervously. “You’re scaring us.”
My mother nods and clutches her throat. Buckle up mom, I think, it is that bad.
Levi takes a deep breath and briefly glances at me before he starts. "About six months ago, I met a woman. Both of you know how hesitant I've been to date since Rebecca and I split up. At first, I thought it was just a physical attraction, but during the months since then I've realized I've fallen head over heels in love."
“Levi, that’s wonderful. We’re so happy for you. You deserve every happiness,” my dad says with a beaming smile.
“Hold on there, John. You might not feel that way after you hear the next part.” Levi sighs, and I know how hard this must be for him. I want to walk over to him and put my arms around him and tell him everything is going to be okay.
"Sarah, what the fuck is he talking about? Are you having an affair?" my dad snaps at my mom in a split second. Fuck! Talk about taking a turn for the worst.
"What?" she screeches. "If you ever insult me that way again I'll hang you out to dry," my mother snaps without hesitating before she turns back to Levi.
“It’s not Sarah, John. Sarah’s always been devoted to you. It’s… I’m in love with your daughter.”
I actually feel the oxygen being sucked out of the room by his declaration. I’ve heard the words a few times before but saying them out loud in my living room to my parents makes my heart skip a beat. My father rises and suddenly seems much larger than usual. He flicks me a glance with narrowed eyes before he turns back to Levi.
Well, this isn’t going too bad, I think. Shit, dad lifts his arm and in a split second his fist crunches against Levi’s jaw sending him sprawled onto the couch. I know Levi can take down my dad in a fight, but he won’t fight back. I think deep down he was expecting this.
"John, I'll give you that one, but before you try another you better let me finish or I punch back," Levi growls in a low voice. He rubs his jaw. "What happened between Oakley and me wasn't planned…"
“Stop, I don’t want to hear another fucking word,” my father shouts.
My mother grabs onto my dad's arm as tears slip from her eyes. "John, let's at least hear him out."
My father sighs and sinks onto the chair. Suddenly he looks almost ten years older. A pain shoots through my chest, knowing I did this to him.
"It wasn't planned. It just happened. We both agreed it was a mistake, but we couldn't seem to ignore our feelings. We've been secretly dating for six months, I know what a violation of our friendship and your trust this is, but I really do love her. I don't want to hide our relationship any longer. I'd like your blessing to continue seeing her, and if you don't agree, I'm still going to see her. I've never felt this way about a woman in my life, not even Rebecca and that's saying something." My dad opens his mouth, and Levi holds up his hand in a stop sign. "Let me finish. After the divorce and Rebecca's infidelity, I didn't think I had it in me to love again, but Oakley proved to me that I could. She's an amazing woman, and you should be proud of the wonderful woman you've raised. I can promise you I will take good care of her."
I feel my heart expand, love blooms in my chest knowing that I feel the same way. I agree, even if my parents won’t give us their blessing, I want to be with Levi.
My hand cradles my tummy, and a smile spreads over my face. I'm having this man's baby. I can't wait to tell him when we're alone, after his honest declaration of love I just know he's going to be over the moon when he finds out.
17
Levi
There I did it, I think as John and Sarah watch me in shock. I look over my shoulder at Oakley, and her eyes have softened, she's looking at me with the same amount of love I feel for her. I'm so absorbed with Oakley I don't even notice when John gets up and lands another one on my jaw. The pain shoots through my skull, but I'm back on my feet within seconds.
“This is how you want to settle this?” I challenge him.
I feel like an asshole, but I'm not going to let him beat me up because I'm in love. Didn't he just say I deserve every happiness? John shakes his head, and he glances at Sarah before turning back to me with a thunderous look.
"You knocked up my baby girl you son of a bitch. I'll settle this anyway I want."
“John!” Sarah shouts hysterically. “Calm down.”
"What the fuck are you talking about?" I can hear the incredulity in my own voice. "I didn't knock her up." Suddenly a cold sweat beads on my forehead. Was this why Oakley had been drawing back? I think back to the last time she told me we couldn't have sex because of her period. It was almost two months ago.
Shock floods my system, and my knees buckle because of it. I sit down and take a deep breath before I turn to Oakley. She's as red as a fucking tomato and guilty as fuck. She's pregnant, it's written all over her face. But this can’t be, I try to convince myself. We were so careful, every time…okay not every time, but I thought we had been for the most part.
Fuck! This is what happens when you screw young fertile girls, my conscious mocks me.
“Mom, Dad?” Oakley asks quietly at their questioning looks.
Sarah heaves a heavy sigh and shakes her head. “Your dad found the test, Oakley. He thought it was mine.”
Suddenly I understand why John had suspected I was having an affair with Sarah. He had a vasectomy five years ago. I still remember we fed him whiskey all weekend convincing him he was still a man.
“Shit!” Oakley curses and shakes her head.
"Are they telling the truth?" I ask. I know this is a conversation Oakley, and I should have in private, but since we're all being so fucking honest what's the use of asking her to take this conversation elsewhere.
Oakley nods, and I see a tear slip down her cheek. I can’t stop myself. I rush over to her and take her into my arms. She feels so small against my body as she sobs into my chest. I stroke her hair and whisper into her ear. “It’s going to be alright, baby. It’s going to be just fine. I promise.”
My words only make her sob even harder.
All of a sudden I feel John’s hand on my shoulder shoving me away from Oakley. “You’ve done enough. Get the fuck out of my house.”
My palms twitch to put him on his ass, but I know violence isn’t going to solve anything. “Back the fuck off, John. I’m warning you.”
John takes a step toward me but Oakley steps between us. “Please, Daddy. Don’t.”
“He’s a fucking old man, Oakley. What the hell were you thinking?” John demands, causing Oakley to cry even harder.
“I love him,” she cries, shaking her head. “I know you think I shouldn’t, but I love him with all my heart.”
The moment between father and daughter tears me apart. Honestly, I can't even blame John. If this were Vayda with a guy my age, I would've fucking killed him. The double standard scares me, and I promise myself I won't be as judgmental in the future.
“Sarah, are you going to say anything?” John demands, turning to his wife who is clutching her mouth with both hands, rigid from shock.
“John, what can we say?” Sarah sighs and shakes her head.
“You’re a fucking dick, Levi! We’ve welcomed you into our home. Oakley has spent how many nights at your place. Do you even have the slightest idea of what fucked up shit is going through my mind right now?”
I take a deep breath and nod. “I can only imagine. But you have my word that I never touched Oakley until six months ago. You can ask her yourself.”
John grunts. “Your word no longer means shit in this house. Oakley?”
Oakley nods and purses her lips. “He’s right, Dad. Before then nothing happened. It was an accident, we didn’t think it meant anything. But it did. I love him, and I’m having our baby.”
This is the first time Oakley said it out loud, and my heart gallops in my chest. I'm having a baby with the most beautiful person inside and out.
“Fuck me…” John trails off and sinks into the nearest chair.
I smile at Oakley and kneel in front of her, pulling her tummy toward me. I press a gentle kiss to her stomach before I meet her blue-eyed gaze. "I'm going to take such good care of the two of you."
A tear slips down her cheek, and she threads her hands into my hair. "I love you, Levi. I'm sorry I didn't tell you right away. I didn't know if you…"
“You’ll be almost sixty when the kid graduates. Goddamn, this is so fucked up. His friends are going to call you gramps.” John’s snide comment washes over me. None of this matters only Oakley matters.
Oakley giggles. “Maybe it’s a girl.”
I stand up and pull her into my arms before giving her a kiss; nothing too heated just a tender brush of lips when John tugs me back on my collar again.
"That's it. Get the fuck out Levi, or I'll throw you out myself!" J
ohn shouts, and this time I have a feeling he's not just threatening.
18
Oakley
I don't want Levi to leave. I want to be with him. I want to talk to him about the baby and our plans for the future, but it's clear my father is not letting him stay in this house for another second. I don't want to be alone with my parents and their disappointment right now.
“I’m not leaving without her, John. I’m not letting you take this out on her,” Levi tells my father with squared shoulders, his hand around my shoulders.
"What's going on?" Vayda's voice from behind me scares the living shit out of me. I actually jump on the spot before I turn around and meet her confused gaze. "I heard a lot of shouting, and I couldn't find dad, so I came over to see what was going on?"
Levi stiffens beside me, but he doesn't let go of my shoulders. "Hey, honey," he says, and I can hear the pain his voice.
"Oh, Vayda! Welcome to the Saturday morning special on our block this morning. In today's news is how your fuck of father knocked up my daughter and now claims to love her." My father's mocking delivery of what's going on makes Vayda's eyes widen before they narrow and turn to Levi and me.
“Dad? What the hell is he talking about?” Vayda asks, carefully
I give Vayda a pleading look, knowing that this will change everything between us.
"Vayda honey, it's true. I'm in love with Oakley. We've been seeing each other for six months, and it's time we came clean."
Vayda’s eyes harden before the turn to me. “Is this true? Are you fucking my father?”
I cringe at her harsh words and shake my head in apology. "Vayda, I'm sorry. It just happened. We didn't plan for this, and we didn't want to hurt anyone. We tried to stop…"
Vayda laughs sarcastically. “My dad is the new guy you’re in love with? Fuck Oakley! You even told me about him.” Vayda throws her hands in the air and shakes her head. “This is fucking ridiculous.”