Braxton

by Shayne Ford

  “Why did you have to send Braxton to wake me up? Where were you?”

  “It’s nothing sure,” Jagger says.

  “What’s not sure?”

  He looks away and doesn’t answer. I turn to his friend.

  “Braxton?”

  “He was on his phone getting gigs in Europe.”

  “Europe?” I screech, my throat dry. “And where are you going?”

  “California,” Braxton says without looking at me.

  A wave of anger barrels through me,

  “Are you two people serious?” I shout. “I was asleep for like what... okay... twelve hours and all you can think off is how to get away from me without even asking me??”

  Jagger’s eyes cut to me.

  “Violet??”

  “Get out!!! Get the fuck out! Both of you!” I scream, jumping out of bed and throwing towels and pillows and a vase I find on a nightstand at them.

  “Violet, we can talk... “

  “Not now, Jagger. I don’t want to talk right now,” I say my voice breaking, filled with tears.

  “Please!”

  “Get out!!”

  9

  JAGGER

  The beach is almost empty.

  “She’ll be okay,” Braxton says, shielding his eyes from the sun.

  “Can you shut up for a moment?”

  I plop into a lounge chair, and he does the same after he moves it cautiously a couple of feet away.

  “Why the fuck did you have to run your mouth like that?” I snap.

  “You just told me to shut up, so I’ll shut up,” he says.

  “Don’t fuck with me, Braxton!”

  He flicks his hand, dismissing me, and swings his gaze away.

  “You didn’t tell me either,” he says.

  “I told you I need to do something, and I just started to make the fucking calls, for fuck’s sake. She was asleep, and you were... Where the hell were you this morning?”

  He glances at me.

  “Gym.”

  “Okay... Gym. I’m not even sure I can get booked for the whole season, and you’re fucking ruining it for me. And how am I supposed to explain it to Violet?”

  “Why are you so anxious to leave anyway?”

  “I told you it’s about money.”

  “You fucking told me, but you forgot to tell me you’ll fly to Europe like next week... and be there for the rest of the summer.”

  “You could come with me.”

  “Really? And leave her here? You know that’s not possible. And you know what? I can’t just go with you every time you decide to go one direction or the other. I’ve been doing this for fucking too long,” he grumps, more than pissed.

  “That’s not something I can fucking control, Braxton, and you fucking know it. Why do you have to bust my balls?”

  His angry eyes drill me, and it feels as if two daggers sink into my heart.

  “I’m busting your balls? Are you fucking serious? Why the fuck you need the money, anyway? ”

  “I’m not getting my trust money until I’m twenty-five, you fucking now that, and I’m sick and tired of explaining everything I do to my mom.”

  His eyes go to the horizon.

  “It’s because of Violet,” he murmurs.

  “Yes, it’s because of her, but it doesn’t do me any good if she gets mad. I’ll be away from her for months. That’s why I said I’m not sure. I don’t want to go unless she’s okay with it and I’m not losing her.”

  “She’s angry because she just found out. She’ll calm down,” he says, combing his fingers through his hair, evading my eyes.

  “Well, maybe... But we’re supposed to live together. And now, she fucking knows I’m making calls to go to Europe, and it’s not like I want to move away, but I can no longer do the jobs I have right now and stay in my parents’ home. And why are you so pissed, anyway?”

  He blazes at me, his eyes seething with fury. He makes an effort to push it all back, and his expression shifts.

  “I didn’t think you’d do it right away. That’s all,” he says, disappointed, and trains his eyes on the horizon, pondering over something for a few more moments.

  “You know what? Do whatever the hell you want,” he says, his words tearing my heart apart.

  “You can come visit me instead of going to California,” I mutter.

  Eyes still on the ocean, he waves me off.

  “Yeah... well... Maybe I won’t,” he says, and a muscle starts pulsing in his jaw.

  Without looking at me, he pushes out of his chair and sprints toward the ocean. Moments later, his arms slice a wave, and he vanishes under the water.

  I stare at the shimmering crests as I expect him to surface. A few good moments pass by, and my heart pounds panicked in my chest.

  Minutes later, I spot him far from the shore, swimming even farther away. I jump out of the chair and run toward the ocean. It takes me at least fifteen minutes to catch up with him.

  By the time I reach him, the water is cold and deep.

  “Braxton?”

  He swims on his back. Away from me.

  “Where the fuck are you going?” I shout, erasing the distance between us. “Can you fucking stop?”

  He stops and waits for me, his eyes dark like the ocean.

  “Let’s go back and talk,” I say, panting. His eyes slash me, cold as ice. “What the fuck is wrong with you today, Braxton?”

  Silent, he veers away from me and swims toward the shore. We halt as soon as we feel the ocean floor under our feet.

  “What’s your fucking problem?” I ask, running my hands over my face.

  He brushes all his hair back, his blue eyes nothing but a frozen winter.

  “What’s my problem? I came back home for you,” he snarls. “I could’ve stayed in fucking Rome with Diana, but I came here, didn’t I?” He looks away and slowly shakes his head, a sad chuckle rolling off his lips. “The only reason I went to that fucking school abroad was because your ass was overseas. You keep doing this Jagger, over and over again... And now you’re doing it to Violet. You don’t fucking care...”

  A lump forms in my throat.

  “That’s not true,” I say with a strained voice.

  “Yes, it’s true. You can’t fucking think about other people, can you? You moved to Spain and then you came home to do what? Drink and fuck? You could’ve done that there, ten times over. You came here because you couldn’t say no to Sonia, or you wanted to prove something to your father. Why? I don’t fucking understand. It makes no fucking sense to me. You know who you are Jagger. You knew you’d never go to school, no matter how much they’d bust your balls and try to coax you into it. You fucking knew it, yet somehow you convinced yourself you had to come back to the States. And now you want to move back for a job. You’re fucking rich, Jagger. You’re the only one who can touch that money. Just be patient for once, and try not to ruin it for everybody else.”

  “I wouldn't have found her had I not come back,” I say.

  “That was dumb luck.”

  “It was...” I admit. “That’s why I want to hold on to her. But I don’t think being patient is the solution. I think that’s the surest way to lose her. Sooner or later someone or something will get into her head. If it’s not her family, then it’s her boss, and if it’s not her boss, it’s the fact that she may want to play house with me, and then she realizes I’m not that man, yet.”

  “You’re gonna lose her sooner than you think if you only care about your ass.”

  “Stop saying that for fuck’s sake! I fucking care. You know why I came home, and you know why I have to go back,” I shout.

  “No, I fucking don’t...” he snarls again, baring his teeth, his voice low and hoarse. He erases the space between us, his hand curling around my neck, his eyes sinking into me, deep pools of dark blue. “All I know is that it hurts every fucking time you leave... It breaks my heart, and it will push her away. She’s doing things for you Jagger. She’s fought her past an
d her people... She’ll not gonna keep fighting if she’s unsure whether you’re there for her or not when she’s done. I can’t fucking tell you what to do. You have to figure out on your own, but this shit you’re trying to pull on her and me, it’s not working. All right?”

  “Why is it so damn important to you, Braxton?”

  A small smile sprouts on his lips.

  He goes silent for a few moments, his eyes delving deep into mine, and I feel him on edge, his restraint growing weaker and weaker by the day.

  His fingers splay on my neck, his thumb brushing my jaw, his eyes dripping with sadness before they dip to my lips and swiftly pull away.

  My heart thuds in my chest.

  “Find a way Jagger,” he murmurs, bringing his eyes–– cold this time, back to mine.

  He tears away.

  I clasp his arm, and then I grip his shoulder. His eyes shift to me.

  “What did you tell her, Braxton?” He stays silent, his lips curving into a faint smile. “Why did she cry?” I ask again, my voice filled with angst.

  He tosses his head back, his expression changing swiftly.

  A playful smile grows on his lips.

  “She’ll tell you...”

  “Braxton?”

  Laughing softly, he yanks his arm out of my lock and pulls away from me, backstroking, and I pounce on him and push him under a wave. We wrestle under the water before we emerge, my arm locked around his neck, his chest rocking with laughter.

  “You have to tell me.”

  “Leave me the fuck alone! She’ll do it,” he says, fighting my grip.

  “You’re so fucking stubborn,” I say and release him.

  He slides his fingers over his eyes and wrings water out of his hair.

  “Why can’t you fucking tell me? Was it about me?”

  His lips purse into a sexy pout before he parts them into a teasing smile.

  He nods slowly.

  “Come on, man... Tell me. Was it bad? Is that why she cried?”

  He shrugs, feigning indifference, and I know he does it to annoy the shit out of me. He barely stifles his amused smile.

  “I’m gonna fucking kill you, Braxton,” I say, grinning this time, and I charge at him.

  I fall with him under the water.

  We swim for a few moments before we push up again, my hand wrapped around the base of his neck, my grip tight around the ropes of his muscles.

  “Tell me,” I bark.

  “No.”

  “I’m gonna make you, then...” I say, and he teasingly sways his head side to side, letting out a soft chuckle.

  “You can’t make me do anything,” he says grinning, the ocean sparkling in his eyes.

  “Yes, I fucking can...” I say, and my other hand goes down his chest.

  His smile fades away, clouds hovering over his eyes.

  “Don’t do that, Jagger...”

  “Don’t do what, Braxton?” I murmur, my lips brushing his face as my palm slides down his abs, slowly pushing inside his swim trunks.

  “You’re hard, baby? Why?” I ask, and although I wanted to use a lighter tone and tease him, I sound so fucking serious.

  There’s a battle in his eyes. He’d like nothing better than to punch me in the face, and yet he suppresses his anger, relishing my touch so much.

  “Tell me, and I’ll stop,” I say, running my hand up and down his shaft, then gently cupping his balls and caressing the underside of his cock.

  I give him a gentle squeeze and feel him throbbing.

  “Don’t make me hate you, Jagger,” he says softly, his voice heavy. “She’ll tell you... I’m sure. And I didn’t want to make her cry any more than I wanted to fuck up my day...” he says, not making much sense.

  He cups my hand and stops me from stroking, our fingers closed around his erection, his eyes shredding me, his hard muscles coiling like snakes around his neck and shoulders.

  My eyes slip down for a moment before I look up, and meet his stare. We’re both tense, and both know this is no longer a game.

  He tears my hand off him.

  “Let’s go, Jagger...” he says with a different voice. “She’s waiting for you,” he says pointing to the shore, and I study him for a moment before we walk toward the beach.

  JAGGER

  “Goddamn it...” he murmurs. “What the hell is she wearing?” he asks, stopping for a moment.

  I take in the three scraps of red fabric that poorly cover her body, the strips of fabric hardly concealing her nipples or anything between her thighs. She hasn’t noticed us yet, or maybe she did, and she ignores us. She slathers sunscreen on her body, her legs open, facing us.

  “These suits get smaller and smaller by the day,” Braxton says, his eyes squinting at the same spot I have my eyes trained on. “I can’t believe I ate that an hour ago,” he says, sounding so casual about it.

  I slap his shoulder.

  “Fuck man! That hurt,” he said, blocking the second jab.

  “You’re such a lucky bastard,” he says, stretching a sly smile.

  “And now you are as well, it seems...”

  “She loves you, Jagger. Never doubt that.” I look at him as he narrows his eyes, studying Violet. “She wouldn’t let me touch her if it wasn’t for you,” he says.

  “She wouldn’t let you touch her if she didn’t like you. There were only two men before me. She didn’t like a lot of men as you can see.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me?”

  His hands go to his hips, his eyes filled with surprise.

  “Shit, man. She’s practically a virgin...” he says, jokingly.

  “She’s far from it, now...”

  He cocks his head to the side and flashes a knowing grin.

  “By the way... I’d keep her away from your old man.” I breathe out a chuckle. “No, I’m serious,” he says.

  “Trust me. I know.”

  “Damn...” he mutters as Violet rolls onto her stomach.

  The little piece of fabric flosses her butt cheeks, setting off her round, perky ass.

  “Fuck, I’m hard,” I say.

  “Me too,” he says. “How the hell are we supposed to get out of the ocean?”

  “Go back swimming,” I say.

  He puffs.

  “I don’t want to.”

  We start walking again. The closer we get, the more nervous I am.

  “Make yourself scarce, Braxton.”

  “Go where?”

  “I don’t know. Buy us some ice cream.”

  “Fuck you, Jagger,” he says and pulls away, his middle finger up in the air.

  10

  JAGGER

  “Hey.”

  I lie down next to her on the towel and prop myself up on an elbow. She turns her face the other way.

  “Violet?”

  “Leave me alone,” she says.

  She’s no longer angry, and just to test my theory, I run my hand down her back and untie her bra.

  “Hey! You can’t do this here,” she says giving me a gentle shove.

  The moment she rolls to her side to face me her bra slips off her breasts.

  She falls back to her stomach.

  I slip my hand under her and cup one mound, filling my palm.

  “There are people,” she says, looking over my shoulder at an old couple walking away along the shore.

  “Not that many,” I murmur, following her eyes.

  She looks up at me, the blue-green irises washed with light.

  “Why did you do that, Jagger? How can you not talk to me?”

  “I didn’t do anything. You can’t listen to Braxton. He’s even more freaked out than you are. I’m not going anywhere unless you’re comfortable with the idea or you’re willing to come with me,” I say softly, brushing a strand of hair away from her eyes.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I want to work and make money, and that’s why I made the phone calls. It’s not like I want to be away from you. But as I told the smartass who
couldn’t keep his mouth shut, I’d never leave you. We’ll see how it goes. If anything comes out of it and if money makes sense, and then we’ll figure out this shit.”

  “What about him? Why does he leave?”

  I toss my head back and rake my fingers through my hair.

  “He was angry with me and wanted to make a point.”

  “Where is he?”

  “Buying ice cream.”

  “I’m hungry,” she says softly.

  “We’ll go out to eat as soon as he comes back.”

  I slip my fingers in her hair, and she turns to her side, facing me again. Her body presses against mine, her breasts crushed against my chest. I wind an arm around her, my whole body awakening.

  “Shit...”

  “What?”

  “I have a bit of a problem,” I say, and she smiles, moving her hand between us.

  “That’s not helping, baby.”

  “Maybe you should’ve thought about that when you untied my bra. I have the same problem,” she says, her hard nipples poking at my chest.

  “See... in Europe, you wouldn’t have had to wear this poor excuse of a bra,” I say, and she slaps my arm, grinning.

  Propping our heads on our arms, we share a stare.

  The seagulls cry in the distance, the sound of rolling waves drifting through the air.

  “You were angry with both of us...” I murmur, and her smile fades away.

  “I was... I don’t want him to go away either. You think it’s bad?” she asks softly.

  I click my tongue.

  “No.”

  She studies my eyes for a moment.

  “You’re nothing like anyone I know...” she mutters.

  I run my fingers across her face, gently brushing her face.

  “I don’t think I’m that different. I think there are people like me. It’s just that it’s so damn hard to live like that. I’m not special in any way. The only thing I do differently is to follow my heart. The thing is, I don’t know how to be any other way. I’ve tried, and it never worked out for me, and I was alone for the longest time. Not without people to fuck, but without people to share my life with and open my heart to. Braxton is not only my best friend. He’s the other half of my heart. We are alike, and without me, he’d be alone too. That’s why he’s so freaked out right now. In a sense, we are not different from you... We’re all looking for that fucking boat to sail this fucking thing call life...”