The Good, the Bad, and the Accidentally Evil!

by Mark Young

  What’s the point in thinking about the future? he scolded himself. My job in the future is to save the school. Who knows what will happen to me after that?

  Odifin wheeled over to them with Rotwang.

  “Hello, everyone!” he said. “Rotwang and I were just saying that we should have volunteered to help you with the newspaper. Is it too late?”

  “No,” Shelly answered. “In fact, we could use some extra help to get out the Founders’ Day issue.”

  “Excellent!” Odifin said. “We both had some ideas for you. For example, what if the information in the paper could be downloaded right into your brain, so you could absorb all of it without having to actually read it?”

  “Hmm…,” Shelly said.

  “My idea is that you could embed a video game into each issue,” Rotwang said.

  “Wow, could that really work?” Shelly asked.

  Theremin piped up. “It’s definitely possible,” he said. “You know, I’ve been thinking too. What if we can give the newspaper the ability to have personalized front pages? We could gather data about what articles each student reads, and then program the newspaper to reorganize itself based on that student’s interests.”

  “That’s splendid!” Higgy said. “For example, my personalized paper would always have food articles on the front page.”

  “Exactly!” Theremin said. “I could start trying to figure out how to program it, but there’s a new story I’m working on. Strange fluctuations in the school’s gravitational field.”

  “That’s weird,” Newton remarked. “Sounds like it would make a great story.”

  “These are all amazing ideas,” Shelly said. “We should definitely start working on them—but first we need to put together our Founders’ Day special issue, and we only have a week!”

  “Let’s meet tonight and plan the issue out,” Theremin suggested, and everyone started talking excitedly about what to do next.

  Newton’s dark mood disappeared.

  Maybe the future isn’t going to be great, he thought. But right now things are pretty good!

  CHAPTER 6 Founders’ Day

  “Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

  Newton and Higgy screamed in unison as the Dimension Destroyer sent them zipping through one dimension after another.

  Whoosh! They streaked through a land of dinosaurs.

  Whoosh! They zipped through deep space as a comet shot past them.

  Whoosh! They hurtled through a city where cats walked on two legs, talked, and wore human clothing.

  “What was that?” one of the felines asked, pointing.

  Skreeeeeeeeech!

  The ride came to a stop. Newton felt dizzy. Next to him Higgy’s whole body was wiggling and wobbling.

  “Please exit the ride,” a mechanical voice instructed them.

  Newton and Higgy got out of the ride car and stumbled toward the exit. Then they looked at each other and smiled.

  “That was awesome!” they both said at once.

  Newton took a deep breath. “Wow, when Mimi showed me the ride when it was being built, it looked impressive, but I had no idea how amazing it would be.”

  Higgy nodded. “Crowninshield Industries really outdid themselves,” he said. “Each year they come up with something more incredible than the last. That’s one reason why Founders’ Day is the best day of the year!”

  Newton gazed around at the festival grounds. The day was less humid than most on the island, with a gentle breeze blowing. Every student, professor, and staff member was outdoors, enjoying the festival. There were rides, like the Dimension Destroyer, the carousel, and the Customizer that Mimi had shown him. Small, colorful tents held games you could play, delicious-smelling food, and exhibits by some of the professors. And in a fenced-in area Newton saw what looked like a village, but with tiny buildings.

  “What’s that?” he asked Higgy.

  “Mini golf!” Higgy cried. “Come on. Let’s play!”

  Newton followed Higgy through the crowd. They passed one of the tents, and saw Theremin there, next to a pile of monster plush toys.

  “Theremin! What’s all this?” Newton asked.

  “Hey, guys!” Theremin said. “Well, Dad gave me a little performance boost overnight so that I would impress the founders. Turns out, the boost has made me an expert at this game.”

  He nodded to the wall across the counter in front of him, which was covered with balloons.

  “Stand back, Melvin!” Theremin instructed the teen running the game, who quickly ducked.

  Theremin’s eyes glowed.

  Pew! Pop!

  Pew! Pop!

  Pew! Pop!

  Green laser beams shot out of his eyes and, with precision, popped balloons one after another. When Theremin finished, Melvin slowly stood up.

  “You win,” he said in flat tone. “Which monster do you want this time?”

  Theremin pointed to a yellow monster plush toy hanging from the ceiling. “That one!” he cried.

  “Well done!” Higgy congratulated him. “Want to come play mini golf with us?”

  “No, thanks,” Theremin replied. “I’m going to keep playing until I win the whole set!”

  Higgy shrugged, and he and Newton went to get in line for a mini golf game. Some of the kids waiting had their tablets out and were reading the holographic special issue of the Franken-Sci Herald.

  “That’s a nice shot of the school building, Newton,” Higgy remarked.

  “Thanks,” Newton said, smiling proudly. “I attached the camera to one of the school drones to get it.”

  They finally reached the entrance to the course. Higgy handed Newton a club and took one for himself.

  “I’ll take green, of course,” Higgy said, grabbing one of the balls. “What about you?”

  “Blue, please,” Newton said, and Higgy handed it to him. “So how do you play?”

  “Well, it’s pretty much like regular mini golf, in that you travel from one hole to the next and try to get the ball into the hole with the fewest strokes possible. The person with the lowest score wins,” Higgy explained. “However, what’s different are the obstacles. In regular mini golf you have to hit the ball over hills, or around barriers, or through tunnels. In Mad-Scientist Mini Golf, well… you’ll see.”

  Curious, Newton followed Higgy to the first hole. It was a miniature castle with an actual mini thunderstorm above it, shooting lightning and rain. A long road led across a moat to the castle.

  “This one’s pretty straightforward,” Higgy said. “You just have to hit the ball into the castle entrance while you watch out for the octopus.”

  “The octopus?” Newton asked.

  Higgy placed his ball on the ground and hit it with his club. The green ball rolled down the little road.

  Splash! A tentacle shot out of the water. It grabbed the ball and tossed it back at Higgy.

  “Drat!” Higgy said. “See, Newton, that counts as one stroke. I have to keep trying until I get the ball into the castle.”

  Higgy shot the ball again. This time it whizzed past the waving tentacle and entered the castle door.

  “Your turn,” Higgy informed Newton.

  Newton hit the ball, and it bounced into the air instead of coasting smoothly down the road. A tentacle rose from the water, caught it, and tossed it back to Newton.

  “Uh, thanks,” Newton said. He tried again, and this time kept the ball on the ground. The octopus grabbed the ball again, but Newton got it past the creature on the third try.

  “Excellent,” Higgy said, entering their scores into a small electronic scorecard. “On to the next!”

  The next hole looked like a sandbox with bones sticking out of it.

  “Are those dinosaur bones?” Newton asked.

  Higgy nodded. “They sure are. It’s a bit tricky to hit the ball through the bones, and almost impossible to get a hole in one.”

  “A hole in one?” Newton asked. “Are those hard to get?”

  “Mostly,” Higg
y said. “But when you get one, it feels great.”

  Higgy hit the ball. It slid underneath some rib bones, then bounced off a foot bone and got stuck underneath the tailbone. He had to hit it twice more before it rolled into the hole. Newton had the same luck, and it took him four tries to get the ball in.

  “Not bad, Newton,” Higgy said.

  The holes got a little harder as the two moved through the course, but Newton got a little better each time. He hit the ball through a moving model of planets revolving around the sun. He sank the ball into a hole on a rocket launching pad, and a real, tiny rocket shot up into the air, circled the golf course, and then landed again.

  The next stop on the course was a 3-D version of enlarged particles of an atom, and the ball looped through a track and shot out into the nucleus. After that Higgy and Newton tried to hit the ball as an antigravity force held it hovering in the air.

  “You’re doing great, Newton,” Higgy told him. “I’ve got twenty-one points and you’ve got twenty-five, but anyone could win at the last hole.”

  “What do you mean?” Newton asked.

  They stepped in front of the last hole. Two twisting tracks that intertwined with each other snaked up the long, vertical course. There was a channel at the start of each track, but Newton couldn’t see where the channels ended up. He recognized the design from his Genetic Friendgineering class—the tracks were the two strands of a DNA molecule.

  “You’ve got to be careful where you hit the ball,” Higgy said. “One strand has a channel that leads to the hole. The other strand takes the golf ball on a ride through a wormhole to outer space, where it’s lost forever.”

  “Whoa,” Newton said.

  “If you get the ball into the hole, five points are deducted from your score, which is great because the player with the lowest score at the end wins,” Higgy said. “So this is anybody’s game.”

  Higgy placed his green ball on the course. He tapped it, and it rolled toward the DNA strand on the right.

  “No, no, no. Left!” he called out, but the ball rolled into the right channel and into the twisting DNA strand. Then it disappeared from sight, and a sound like a foghorn blared, and the word WORMHOLE appeared on a sign above them, blinking.

  “Rats!” Higgy said. “Your turn, Newton.”

  Newton placed the ball on the ground and aimed with his club as carefully as he could. Then he tapped the ball gently but forcefully. It zipped forward and directly into the left-hand channel.

  “Whoot!” Newton cheered.

  The ball rolled through the spiral, and when it dropped out of sight, a siren wailed and the words HOLE IN ONE appeared on the sign.

  “You win, Newton!” Higgy cheered, holding out a hand. Newton shook the gooey appendage. “Great job!”

  They deposited their golf clubs as they exited the course, and found Shelly there.

  “I found you!” Shelly cried. “Newton, I need you to come with me to the main stage to take pictures of the founders’ ceremony. It starts in just a few minutes.”

  “Sure thing,” Newton said. “Want to come, Higgy?”

  “I think I want to try the Customizer,” he said. “I’ve always wanted to know what I would look like with blue goo instead of green.”

  “Okay. See you later!” Newton said, and then he and Shelly headed for the main stage. They passed a yellow tent with a crowd gathered in front.

  “What’s going on in there?” Newton wondered.

  Shelly stood on her tiptoes to look over the crowd. “That’s Professor Leviathan,” she said.

  They weaved through the crowd to get a closer look. The professor held a leash attached to a white, furry monster. The creature had a horn growing out of its nose, and wings that sprung from its back.

  “Uni-teddy is the result of many years of genetic monster exploration in my lab,” she was explaining. “Everybody loves unicorns. And everybody loves teddy bears. What’s better than a monster that is as furry and cuddly as a teddy bear and has a unicorn horn and can fly?”

  The crowd oohed and aahed as Uni-teddy, still on the leash, flew in a circle above Professor Leviathan.

  “That’s so cute!” Newton said, but Shelly was frowning. “What’s wrong?”

  “I used to like the idea of monster-making, because I love monsters and all kinds of animals,” Shelly said. “But what’s the point of making new monsters when the world is already full of monsters and animals that need help? Yes, Uni-teddy is cute, but there are plenty of kittens in the world that are just as cute, and need good homes.”

  “I guess I didn’t think of it that way,” Newton admitted. “I mean, isn’t inventing new things what being a mad scientist is all about?”

  “Monsters aren’t things. They’re living creatures,” Shelly said.

  “That’s a good point,” Newton agreed. This was a little surprising to hear from Shelly, who had brought him to a meeting of the Monster Club, where they made monsters. But what she was saying made sense. Shelly had a big heart and really cared about all kinds of creatures.

  Shelly grabbed his arm. “Come on. We’ve got to get to the stage!”

  An even bigger crowd had gathered in front of the main stage, and Newton and Shelly pushed their way to the very front. Three microphones had been placed in the center of the stage, and Ms. Mumtaz stood on the side, waiting to go on. Next to her, two students stood behind two brains in jars on wheeled stands, like the stand Odifin used. Their jars were encased in old-looking metal holders with engraved designs, and nuts and bolts sticking out of them.

  “Are those the founders?” Newton asked.

  Shelly nodded. “Yes,” she replied. “Barnaby Pendergilly and Phillipa Malagast. They sailed from England to find an island where mad scientists could perform their experiments without being persecuted.”

  “And those kids with them—they’re seniors, right?”

  “Right,” Shelly replied. “Each year the top two seniors in the school get picked to wheel the founders out onstage. It’s a real honor. The students also help Professor Phlegm bring the founders out of storage and zap them with electricity to wake them up.”

  Newton stared at the brains, floating in jars full of clear goo. “It’s hard to believe they’ve been alive all this time.”

  “It’s pretty impressive,” Shelly agreed.

  Ms. Mumtaz walked out onstage and stood before the center microphone.

  “Good afternoon, students, faculty, and staff of Franken-Sci High!” she announced, and everyone stopped randomly chatting and broke into cheers. Ms. Mumtaz motioned for them to quiet down. “Before we bring out our esteemed founders, please join me in singing the school song.”

  Music blared through the speakers. Newton had never heard the school song before, so he listened as everyone burst out singing around him.

  Light every Bunsen burner,

  let every thought fly high,

  for no idea is too mad here.

  We are Franken-Sci High!

  Experiment with courage.

  No need to justify.

  We revere what others fear.

  We are Franken-Sci High!

  Three cheers for our school!

  Hurrah, hurroo, hurrai!

  Our thoughts are new and we’re smarter than you.

  We’re the excellent Franken-Sci High!

  When the song finished, everyone erupted into loud cheers. Ms. Mumtaz cleared her throat.

  “And now I’d like to introduce our esteemed founders, Barnaby Pendergilly and Phillipa Malagast,” she said. “Today they are being escorted by two seniors, Ursula Kimoko and Solomon Pierce.”

  Shelly nudged Newton. “Start taking photos.”

  “Right,” Newton said. He’d gotten so caught up in the ceremony that he’d forgotten that he was on the job.

  He held up the camera, and it began to whir and spin. Ursula and Solomon pushed the two brains up to the microphones, one on either side of Ms. Mumtaz.

  “Let us begin with our annual fo
unders’ address,” Ms. Mumtaz said. “First I’d like to—”

  Poof!

  Peewee appeared on top of Ms. Mumtaz’s microphone. And he wasn’t alone. He’d brought some of the other animals in the lab with him! Wingold the parrot now flew in circles around Ms. Mumtaz’s head. A frog with springs for back legs hopped onto the top of Solomon’s head, and the boy screamed. A rescued turtle with a titanium shell crawled along the floor.

  “Oh no!” Shelly cried.

  With her arms waving wildly at Wingold, Ms. Mumtaz stumbled and smacked into Barnaby Pendergilly’s jar on wheels. Ursula reached out to steady the jar’s stand, but tripped over the turtle and slammed into the jar instead. Barnaby zipped across the stage and crashed into Phillipa’s jar. Solomon was too busy trying to get the frog off his head to save Phillipa.

  Both brain stands wobbled, and then crashed to the floor. Newton watched, his mouth open in shock, as the two jars shattered into pieces, leaking goo all over the stage!

  CHAPTER 7 A Monstrous Consequence

  Shelly ran onstage and grabbed Peewee. Newton followed her and watched the brains starting to flop around in the goo on the floor. Then he spotted Stubbins Crouch, the custodian. Crouch was offstage, with his mop and bucket, and Newton had an idea and sprang into action.

  He raced across the stage and grabbed the bucket from Crouch. Then Newton quickly dumped the soapy water out of the bucket. He scooped up the brains, one by one, with as much goo as he could, and dumped them into the bucket. He knew that brains in jars couldn’t survive very long without being surrounded by goo.

  Professor Phlegm ran onstage, with a drone flying next to him.

  “Good work, Newton,” he said. Then he clapped his hands. “Drone, get this bucket to the Brain Bank, immediately!”

  The drone picked up the bucket with mechanical claws and flew off, with Phlegm running after it. Newton picked up the turtle while Shelly got the frog off Solomon’s head. Wingold flew to Shelly and landed on her shoulder.

  Ms. Mumtaz marched up to them.

  “Shelly,” she said, and her voice was like ice. “Meet me in my office in an hour.”