Time Loop

by Jill Cooper

  It’s a warning more than anything else so I back down. My anger goes from a rolling boil to a simmer and I nod, breaking my gaze away from Jax. I’m pretty sure based on the look on his face he knows this isn’t over.

  Not by a long shot.

  “Come to my office sometime tomorrow, Lara.” Alicia speaks softly and her even tone seems to sooth Lara. “We’ll straighten all this out. I’ll get as much information from you as I can and I’ll prove you were nowhere near the house when this happened.”

  Lara lets out a sigh of relief and I shake Alicia’s hand. “Thanks for coming. I gotta tell you, I was nervous. This place, well I never wanted to come back.”

  She smiles and it seems sincere. I guess that’s why she gets paid the big bucks and all I ever did was wash the floors in other people’s buildings. “Get a good night’s rest, Mr. Crane. We’ll see you soon.”

  I usher Lara out and I watch her run straight into her mother’s arms. Miranda’s in an overcoat that barely covers her fuzzy pajamas and it’s been so long since I’ve seen her like that, I can barely look at her.

  Lara was scared based on how hard she hugged her mom and sunk into her. More than I realized. Miranda, as much anger as I might hold for her right now, is a good mother. The way she hugs Lara, strokes her face, you can tell it makes everything better in a way only a mother can do for her kid. I’m glad Lara has that.

  She says she didn’t have it before and I’m glad she has it now. But Jax, the snake, hugs Lara too and it takes everything in me not to order the bastard away. Jax and Miranda are stiff with each other, but with Lara, Jax is all love and attention.

  Just like a father should be and I boil. He did everything for ten years that was supposed to be me mine and he knew I was innocent. The whole time he knew, Jax just took my place and kept his mouth shut.

  How am I just supposed to let that go?

  “I need to get her home. We’ve been here for hours. C’mon, Lara.” I motion toward the door.

  “Bye.” Lara says to her other set of parents quietly and follows after me. She reaches for my hand and I take it.

  Miranda sighs and I avoid her soft, doe eyes. “John, wait.”

  “Later.” I growl with a promise.

  I’m not done with Miranda or Jax Montgomery. Not by a long shot.

  ****

  It’s been a long time since I’ve tucked Lara in. She’s seventeen. It’s stupid to even suggest it, but I make her a cup of warm milk like I used to and sit at the foot of her bed. She sips it and never says how stupid I’m being. Maybe she’s wanted this to.

  “We’ll clear this up tomorrow. Do your best not to worry and get a good night’s sleep.” I pat her foot and lean over to kiss her forehead.

  I remember a different time. When Lara was two in pink tutus and tiaras. When she was three and would only wear an apron when heading out to the store. And when she was five, crying as the police ripped her away from me. Somehow I have to let that go so we can have a future. A real one where her dad isn’t bitter and angry all the time.

  Just not sure how I get there. I might not be able to unless I say my piece, but I don’t need Lara to hear it. She’s been through a lot and with Patricia’s trial coming in a few months, my girl needs everyone’s support. Even lying snakes like Jax Montgomery.

  She twists the end of the blanket between her fingers just like she did as a kid. “You never asked if I did it. If that detective is right.”

  “I don’t need to ask. I know you didn’t.”

  Lara’s face is surprised and relieved. Far as I’m concerned, the bastard deserved it so a little lie between father and daughter, what’s the matter with that? Lara can’t know I think she’s a murderer. But what she did, what I know she did, as far as I’m concerned was a public service.

  “Sleep tight, pumpkin.”

  When I rise from the bed, she calls me back. “Daddy, you should know that before I jumped back into this timeline, everything that happened before I got here…”

  “Yeah?” I ask when Lara’s voice drifts off.

  Fresh tears shine in her eyes. “Lara was trying to prove you were innocent. She might not’ve known you like I do, but she believed in you. Just like I do. That’s how I was able to get all those papers on Rewind. She stole them. Not me.”

  I smile through my broken heart and part of it heals. I had wondered if Lara didn’t have those alternate memories of me if she’d love me. I guess I have my answer and with that comes a little peace.

  All those years I missed my baby girl and she was missing me, too. It was a cruel fate for any family and one I wouldn’t wish on my enemy. Even if it was Jax.

  Lara Crane

  I wake with a headache and to the smell of bacon one of my favorite things and something Mom rarely cooks. Plus coffee, after my long night, I’m really going to need coffee to get myself through school and our early appointment with my defense attorney.

  Having a defense attorney isn’t as cool as I thought it would be, but she’s nice. Helping Mom and Jax out with the government and giving me some advice about testifying as the trial date grows closer. Pretty soon, she’s not going to need any other clients if we keep getting ourselves in trouble.

  Dressed in skinny jeans and a purple sweater, I grab my parka from beside my bed and immerge like a brand new woman in the kitchen. “Smells good.” I say with a smile.

  Dad turns and he’s grinning too. He’s dressed in a nice shirt and a pair of slacks. I haven’t seen him so dressed up—in my entire life—and wonder if that’s all for the lawyer. He pours two orange juices and sets them on the table.

  “I have a job interview today. It’s nothing much so don’t look so excited, but it’s not the mall either. Or a janitor job.”

  “That’s great.” I’m beam with happiness for him and pride. “I know you’ll do great.”

  He does a half eye roll. I think maybe I embarrassed him. He grabs the frying pan to dish out the bacon and it slips from his hand. Dad gasps as bacon grease splatters.

  “Dad!” My voice echoes loud and everything stops. Dad’s frozen in midair and the bacon grease expands like droplets of rain, suspended in time. Carefully I take the frying pan and slide the bacon onto our plates.

  With a delicate finger, I puncture the grease droplets like bubbles, except they don’t drip they simply disappear with a simple sparkle of light. Even the ones about to stain Dad’s nice shirt, I easily take care of.

  Sometimes time travel can be handy, but my ability to pause time, is getting worse. Growing stronger. I try to ignore my worry as Dad snaps back into time with me. He glances at the frying pan on the stove and the bacon on our plates.

  “Did I do that?”

  I tap his shoulder with a forced smile. “Let’s eat, okay? We don’t want to be late.”

  That’s at least one thing that a time traveler doesn’t have to worry about.

  ****

  The meeting with Alicia goes pretty well even if I’m still half asleep. We meet at her office and even Dad seems to be at ease.

  I go over everything that happened that night. What I ordered at Dunkin Donuts, which one it was, and how there was a camera up in the corner.

  “We’ll get that footage.” Alicia promises. “Once we do, you’ll have an alibi and they’ll be no court of law that’ll ever convict you. Time travel or not.”

  Relaxing, I take a deep breath. “I just hope there isn’t a trial.”

  “There won’t be. This will all be a bad memory in a few days. A week tops. Mulligans knows he can’t prove a thing, I just have to figure out why he’s pushing so hard. My problem. Not yours.” Alicia stands and we shake hands.

  Dad shakes her hand too. “Thanks for everything, Ms. Livingston.”

  She nods and there’s a happy glint in her eye. “Now go be a kid for a while, Lara. You deserve a little break before the circus starts.”

  Sounds like good advice so at the subway stop, Dad and I part. He gives me a hug and I lean against him
. “Good luck at your interview.”

  “I’ll tell you all about it later. Call me after dinner maybe.”

  Part of me wishes that I wasn’t going back to Mom’s that night. That I could just live with Dad, but I miss Mom and Jax, too. My sister and brother. Life is complicated now in ways that don’t even involve any time travel.

  On the train I text Donovan to figure out where to meet him, and he doesn’t answer. Usually he picks me up and we drive to school together. It’s been that way as far back as I can remember so it feels a little weird to be walking through the halls alone.

  I go to my locker and grab my books. He’s not in homeroom and by the time I’m on my way to first period science lab, my stomach is uneasy. Sure, Don could just be sick or under the weather, but to not answer me…

  I’m worried about him as I flip open my text book. When someone calls my name I startle in their direction.

  Kat Murphy with her pencil in hand is smirking at me. “Hey Lara, think you can forward to tomorrow and steal the test answers for us?”

  A low rumble of laughter erupts from the class and I keep my head down, bat my pencil on the edge of the desk. Before I changed the past I was used to being an outsider, but not like this. It was worse than before.

  “Heard you’re a ‘person of interest’ in a murder investigation.” Dirk Williams says, using air quotes. “Did you do it?”

  “Yeah,” Kat leers and snaps her gum, “did you really pop your uncle?”

  When the teacher comes into the room everyone sits to attention toward the front of the room and I’m glad. Relieved. Beside me my lab partner, Beatrice Miller, is staring at me as she opens her book.

  “You have something you’d like to add?” My voice has a low tremor to it.

  She just shakes her head and her ponytail swishes. “No…Just—feel bad. They shouldn’t—you should stick up for yourself more.”

  There’s something I never thought anyone would tell me, but here in school, I’m no longer in my element. If I’m not fighting against bad guys, I just don’t know how to behave. These kids are just that, kids. My age. They don’t know what I’ve been through. They have no idea what it’s like to be locked up in a cage, desperate to see your family.

  And that’s the way it should be even if they laugh at me because of it.

  We take the test and I’m not sure if I remember ever reading about this stuff before. It’s hard to care about school with everything else going on. But maybe Kat was right. Maybe tomorrow I’ll get the right answers and then come back here and do it all over again. Talk about a total break of the rules.

  Beatrice stands as we pack up our bags. I never really noticed her before, but she’s kind of cute in her oversized black glasses. Her high tops are neon colors and really stand out for a shy girl.

  “How do you think you did on the test?”

  She shrugs. “I don’t know. How about you?”

  It’s my turn to be unsure. “Flunked real bad, I bet.”

  Beatrice laughs through her nose and it scrunches up all small. “If you want, I mean today, if you want you could—I mean we could sit together at lunch?”

  Someone that actually wants to be friends with me. “That’d be nice.” I smile. “Sure.”

  We walk out of the room together and Beatrice talks about movies, things she likes to do, and it’s nice to have a friend again. I forgot what it was like. All I ever have is time travel drama, sure I have a boyfriend, but I don’t have any friends. Any friends Lara Montgomery used to have long gave up on her.

  “Well, my class is this way so I have to head. I’ll meet you in the cafeteria later.”

  Beatrice nods and her glasses slip to the tip of her nose. “Don’t worry about those kids, you know? They’re just jealous.”

  “Of me?” I shake my head and think that’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.

  “Totally. You have this amazing power and they can’t handle it. So just, well don’t let them get to you.” She gives me a sad grin and ducks her head down and goes the other way.

  Beatrice is right. It’s nice to know someone so wise. There’s a quiet calm about her that I like. Heck, I totally need that sort of influence.

  My life? Totally not calm.

  ****

  Lunch is giant meatballs subs and I devour mine. I can’t get enough of real food, real meals, being held captive does that to a person. If I never see another j-ello cup or baloney sandwich, it’ll be too soon. Talking with Beatrice is nice. I laugh and almost forget all of my troubles except Donovan still hasn’t returned any of my messages.

  I want to skip out and find him, but if I miss any more school, Mom is going to hand me my head on a platter. So I force myself to be a good girl, to stay and pay attention, but the anxiety is racing through me. When that happens, my leg bounces and I can’t stop tapping my finger on the desk.

  The teacher gives me a level look and I cringe, just as time slows itself right down. I’ve gotten so nervous, time around me is running at half speed. I let out a deep breath as the chalk slowly falls from his hand and does a free fall to the floor. Rubbing my eyes, everything snaps back into place with a clap.

  It’s like thunder.

  No one even notices what I can do. When the bell rings, it’s a welcome respite to everything. I pack up and get out of there as fast as I can. If only I could jump forward in time to where I’m with Donovan again, then everything would be better.

  It takes a half hour to get to the giant James estate. I walk past the stone fence and walk up the driveway. On the lawn is a for sale sign even though it’s nearly impossible to see from the road. The house is one of the most beautiful stone homes you’d ever see with giant windows and an old world charm to it.

  I was so in awe of it the first time I saw it. Lined with chandeliers and antique furniture, it’s like a glorious museum. But soon it’ll be going away with Patricia being held for trial in some other location that isn’t this one. The James family would soon be divorced and I hope Patricia goes away for a long, long time.

  Ringing the bell I wait and it only takes a few moments for Mr. James to open the door. Donovan’s dad is in relaxed trousers and a button shirt, but there are dark circles under his eyes. “Lara.” He greets me warmly and steps out of the way so I can enter.

  Inside the walls are bare, most of the paintings sold, and there are boxes clustered together in small stacks, almost like a tower made of Lego bricks. From the entryway I can make out some movers in the living room dressed in blue jumpers packing out the delicate James’s mementos.

  “Excuse the mess.” He says as he closes the door.

  “Oh, it’s no worry. Is Don around?”

  Mr. James nods. “In his room. He…doesn’t want to come out much.”

  “Is he sick? He didn’t return my texts. I was worried.”

  His face is lined with worried creases. “Physically he’s fine. Things have been tough here, for him. I’m doing the best I can, but I’m not sure it’s enough.” Mr. James sighs like the weight of all of Patricia’s crimes might crush him, like he’s responsible. “But I think you can cheer him up.”

  “I’ll try.” Truth be told, I really liked cheering Donovan up. “Thanks, Mr. James.” I leave him there and head up the grand staircase. Upstairs there are just as many boxes as downstairs. When I get to Donovan’s room, the door is closed. I rap my knuckles against it gently.

  “Go away, Dad.” Donovan’s voice is soft, but there’s a trouble tone to it.

  “It’s me. Lara.”

  It only takes a moment for Donovan pull the door open. We’ve been through a lot lately, but to see his hair out of place and his nice shirt not tucked in, rattles me. He’s always been so together and suave, but now his eyes look so tired.

  They light up a little when they fall on me, and that at least is something. “You shouldn’t be here.”

  I sigh and stroke his hair out of his face, my fingers delicately grazing his forehead. “Where else would I
be?”

  He takes my hand and pulls me into his room. The walls are barren and the bookcases are empty. Almost everything’s been packed away except for his bed and TV. On his desk is a framed photo of me.

  “I just…didn’t want you to see me like this. I’ll be better tomorrow.” Donovan raises his eyebrows with his promise.

  “I was worried when you didn’t answer my texts.”

  Donovan’s eyebrows pinch together. “Sorry, I—didn’t even check my phone.” He sighs. “I just couldn’t deal with it today. The staring at school. The whispers. I needed to hide for a while.”

  I press my palm to his cheek. “You don’t have to hide from me. I want to help you through this, just like you’ve helped me.”

  He goes and sits on his bed, stares out the window at the pool and gardens that surround the back of the house. “Looks perfect out there, doesn’t it? I always thought I was so lucky to be a James. Had everything money could buy. Then I found you and it just completed the package.”

  I sit beside him, but don’t say anything. I just hold his hand.

  “But it was a mirage. Phony. Everything my mother did to get all this? It was like blood money. She would’ve killed us both to keep her secret.”

  His face is so haunted by those words. “We don’t know that. I think they wouldn’t have hurt you.”

  “You’re a sweet liar, Rockstar, but I think we both know I wouldn’t have kept quiet. She would have done whatever was necessary.”

  My heart thumps sadly for him. “Have you seen her? Since she was moved and placed under house arrest.”

  Donovan shakes his head. “Hope I never have to see her again.”

  I sigh and try to argue, but Donovan slides his finger onto my lips. “Just don’t. Not today. What she did to you and your family.” His eyes are so dark, I almost don’t recognize him. “Maybe one day I’ll be ready, but today all I can see is no.”

  I rest my head against his shoulder and we stare out at the sky. It sure looks beautiful and holds so much promise. “Maybe we should head out of the city soon. Go for a hike or something over on the harbor islands. It’d be nice to get away and just center ourselves. What do you think?”