by Mary Monroe
CHAPTER 32
The next day was just like every other day in our house. My parents got up and got themselves ready for work, not once mentioning my unauthorized trip to L.A. However, my mother did get close to me and peer into my eyes in the kitchen. “You look all right to me,” she said, with relief, slapping a tortilla onto a cracked plate and setting it in front of me.
When I got to school that morning, I told everybody I’d had the flu. I kept to myself, and every quiet moment I got, like in study period and during lunch, I did some serious thinking. I was tired of the life that I’d been living. There was no doubt about that. I knew that if I wanted things to change for me, it was up to me to make that happen.
Right after school, I rushed home and put on the most conservative outfit I could find: a mammy-made plaid skirt with a matching blouse, which one of my dowdy friends had left in my room, and a pair of low-heeled shoes. That evening I visited every shop and restaurant that I could get to on foot in Berkeley, looking for work.
It was getting dark, and a lot of the businesses that I wanted to approach had already closed. But I didn’t let that stop me. I’d already been turned down or told to come back in a couple of years by more than ten managers when I wandered into a video store on Alcatraz, between a sandwich shop and an ice cream parlor. Two young Asian women were behind the counter. They stopped talking and gave me a puzzled look.
“Is the manager in?” I asked, looking from one to the other. Before they could answer, a tall, slender man entered the main area from a back room, walking backwards. When he turned around, I gasped. It was that nerd-ass Jesse Ray Thurman. I hadn’t seen him in over a year. But I’d heard that he’d graduated and attended some type of business classes at UC Berkeley. In addition to that, he had made money running a refreshment stand on a busy street downtown, where he’d sold hot dogs, cold drinks, and other snacks to construction workers and other people who worked in the area.
From the look on Jesse Ray’s face, he was surprised to see me. But I was even more surprised to see him. I never expected to see him working in a video store. He seemed too independent for a job like that.
“Christine,” he said, giving me the biggest smile I’d seen on a man’s face in months. He seemed genuinely pleased to see me, and that made me feel better than I’d felt in a long time. “Girl, I thought you’d left town or something. I haven’t seen you since that day at your apartment building, when you were a little girl.” His eyes roamed up and down my body, and he seemed pleased that I was no longer “little.” And he was right. I had filled out a lot since the last time he saw me. I didn’t need much make-up to look good, and my shoulder-length black hair was so manageable, it seemed like it had a life of its own. I tossed my head to the side and raked my fingers through thick black curls and waves, which a lot of jealous people swore was a weave.
“Jesse Ray, do you work here, too? I’m looking for a job, and I was just asking for the manager,” I chirped.
Jesse Ray dismissed the two young Asians before responding. “What kind of work are you looking for?” he asked.
“Anything,” I said, with a pleading look. “But I can only work nights and weekends.”
“Oh, that’s right. You still go to Berkeley High?” he asked. He sniffed and caressed his chin.
I nodded. “I hope to graduate next year.” I let out my breath and looked around, hoping to see the manager. “Is the manager here? I’d like to apply for a job.”
“I assume you’re eighteen now, hmmm?” he said, with his chin tilted up and his eyebrows raised.
“Me? Uh-uh, not yet.”
“I assume you are eighteen,” he said again, glancing around. He got closer and lowered his voice.
“I assume I can be eighteen,” I said, talking in an even lower voice than he was. “If that’s the only way I can work here.”
“When can you start?” Jesse Ray asked, his head tilted to the side. The fact that he glanced at my breasts a few too many times made me uncomfortable, but it was nothing I couldn’t deal with. Shit. I had more fingerprints on my titties than a hooker.
“What?”
“I manage this store, and I can sure use another clerk in the evenings and on weekends.”
“You … you are the manager? You’re giving me a job?” I asked, with an incredulous look on my face. I was so overwhelmed, I could barely speak. It was one of the few times that a man had offered me something other than dope or sex. I didn’t count the five dollars that Wade had donated for me to get something to eat before I left L.A. But I did count that time at the flea market when Jesse Ray gave me a free cup of lemonade.
“You know, I always wondered if I’d ever see you again. Every weekend for the last six months, I set up a stand in that same spot where I met you at the flea market, hoping I’d see you again,” Jesse Ray confessed. “To be totally honest, I was glad you didn’t come back. I don’t like trouble, and so I knew better than to mess with a young girl like you. Even though I wasn’t that much older than you.”
I had never felt so shy before in my life. And so sad. I was not used to men treating me with such respect. I didn’t know what to say next, so I just stood there, with a weak smile on my face.
“So. When can I start?” I finally managed.
“Come back around next month and fill out an application.”
“Oh, I can’t wait that long. I need a job real bad now. I owe my, uh, somebody some money.” I had promised Mama and Daddy that I would pay them back the thirty-five dollars they had wired to me in L.A. as soon as possible. “If it’s all right with you, I’d like to start right away. Tomorrow. Or even today. Right now would be all right with me,” I said, looking around. It was a busy place. More than a dozen people had entered and started browsing since I’d walked in.
Jesse Ray pursed his lips and nodded his head. His hair was so thick and curly, it looked like the backside of a black sheep. He had nice full lips and a neatly trimmed goatee. He was more handsome than Wade, but that was something that I didn’t realize until now. “Do you have any references?”
“References?” I asked, my voice drifting toward the floor, dragging my heart along with it.
“Somebody who could vouch for you, uh, like a former employer.”
“I’ve never worked before,” I said, my hopes floating out the door. I dropped my head and started to leave. “Thanks, anyway.”
Jesse Ray clamped his hand down on my shoulder and spun me back around. “Come into my office, and let’s talk,” he said, leading me toward the back. My first thought was that I was going to have to suck his dick for him to hire me. But I was in for the surprise of my life. Even though I was not the required age of eighteen, Jesse Ray offered to hire me and pay me minimum wage under the table. It was a secret that he made me promise not to share with any of my friends. And, I knew that I didn’t have to worry about my parents getting in my way. For one thing, I had a feeling that my parents worked for Mr. Bloom and got paid under the table, because they never filed taxes. For another thing, they wanted back the money I owed them, and they probably wanted me to be able to support myself so that they wouldn’t have to do it anymore.
“When you turn eighteen, if you want to stay, I’ll do the paperwork,” Jesse Ray told me.
I could barely stay still, sitting across from him at a desk in an office crammed with boxes and bags of videos. Nobody had ever done something so nice for me in my life. I didn’t know a lot about the employment rules and regulations, but I did know that Jesse Ray was taking a big chance with the IRS and the people who made the child labor laws. He did all of that for me.
“You won’t regret this. I promise I will be the best clerk in the world. I won’t disappoint you, Mr. Thurman,” I assured him.
“You just did,” he said, with a frown. I froze. Then he smiled again. “Don’t you ever refer to me again as Mr. Thurman. You call me Jesse Ray, or J.R., like everybody else. Is that clear? Now you be here Saturday morning at ten sharp.”
/> I ran almost all the way home. Once I got inside my apartment building, I didn’t stop running until I made it to Miss Odessa’s door. I had not seen or talked to her since I’d returned from L.A. She must have sensed I was coming, because she snatched open the door before I even knocked. The sweet smell of a freshly baked cake almost knocked me out.
“Praise God, you are all right,” she said, crying and hugging and kissing me as soon as I got inside her door. She had on a housecoat. A hairnet covered her head like a spider’s web.
“I tried to call you from L.A. a bunch of times,” I told her. “I, uh, went down there to visit a friend.” I felt bad enough about what I’d done. I didn’t see any reason to drag Miss Odessa into my foolishness. “But I …” I stopped and stood there in the middle of her living room floor, with my mouth hanging open. There was a bandage on the side of Miss Odessa’s nose. “What’s the matter with your nose?” I asked in a shaky voice.
“Oh, it’s nothing serious. Just a little skin cancer,” she said, laughing and waving her hand. I didn’t know how to respond. I had never heard somebody laugh when they talked about cancer. Especially if they had it. As far as I was concerned, cancer was way up there on the shit list, just below the devil.
“Cancer?” I mouthed. The word itself was enough to make my head swim. “You’ve got cancer?”
“Oh, it ain’t nothing to worry about.” Miss Odessa laughed again. “I got warts on my feet that are more serious than this little bugger,” she said, pointing to the bandage on her nose. “See, Dr. Stine scraped it all off, and he guaranteed me, it won’t come back. Now, what are you so excited about?”
I didn’t like what Miss Odessa had just told me. I didn’t care how “little” her cancer was. Cancer was cancer. “You were in the hospital when I tried to call you from L.A.,” I told her, unable to take my eyes off the bandage on her nose. I blinked a few times and looked around the room, sniffing that cake and hoping she’d offer me a big slice.
“Yeah, I guess I was. But I told you, it wasn’t nothing serious. They did the surgery and sent me home the same day. I had my telephone turned off so I could rest.” Miss Odessa folded her arms and dipped her head. These were the two things she often did when she was serious. “Now tell me why you so excited,” she ordered.
“I got a job!” I yelled. “I got a job and I’m back in school and everything is going to be all right now.” I had finally done something constructive for myself, and it felt good.
Miss Odessa still didn’t get all up in my business, but I knew she was dying to hear about my journey to L.A. So I volunteered the information on my own. I left no stone unturned. By the time I finished talking, she knew as much about Wade as I did.
“And how do you feel about yourself now? Did all them drugs and fornicating and running away to Los Angeles make you feel any better?” she wanted to know, handing me a glass of cold milk and a large slice of homemade lemon cake.
“Uh, it did when I was doing it,” I admitted.
“But it don’t now,” Miss Odessa said in a stern voice. “I’ve heard all I want to hear about that Wade boy. From what you say, he sounds a lot like my second husband. All dick and no brain. You don’t need that. If that’s all that boy got going for him, you can get that from one of them adult shops on Telegraph. All you need is some batteries.” She laughed. I bowed my head and laughed, too. “Now tell me all about this job and this Jesse Ray Thurman.”
“He is so nice to me. I think we’re going to get real close,” I said hopefully, meaning every word.
CHAPTER 33
In some ways, Jesse Ray Thurman saved my life. I don’t know what would have become of me if he had not offered me a job in the video store that he managed and would eventually own.
It was hard to believe that so many years had passed. I couldn’t believe that I was now sitting in an old wreck of a car with Wade Eddie Fisher, depending on him to get me—and a million dollars—away from Jesse Ray.
“You awful quiet back there,” Wade said, with a snort. “You want some pancakes or a Egg McMuffin or something? There’s a McDonald’s at the corner.”
“I’m not hungry,” I said. “I just want to get this over and done with.” I covered my mouth with my hand and yawned. I knew that sooner or later I would really have to catch up on my sleep. I was beginning to feel weaker and weaker. And not just that. I also felt disoriented and paranoid.
“It’s almost over, baby. The next call to my man will be to make sure he’s got that damn money ready for us. Then, once we get situated, I call him and tell him where he can pick you up at,” Wade explained, looking at the side of Jason’s knotty head.
As if on cue, Jason glanced at Wade, then over his shoulder at me. I didn’t like the look on his face. It was the same smug look he’d had on that ugly mug of his since he’d heard that my husband was going to pay a million dollars for my release. I didn’t like the look that was on Wade’s face, either. He looked twice as smug as Jason.
“We need to talk about who gets what,” I suggested, hoping that I sounded firm enough for Wade to realize that I was still the one in charge.
“Now hold on, baby. Keep your thongs on. I told you we’d get to that later,” Wade snarled. “We’ll talk about that later.”
“No, we need to talk about it now. I don’t want to wait until we get the money. And, anyway, you agreed to take fifty grand. That should be all I give to you,” I said in a hot tone of voice. Wade and Jason looked at each other again, then at me.
“Look, I agreed to fifty grand because half a million was all I thought you was getting at the time. But this new thing here, what your old man offered up on his own, it changes everything. You need to be fair. I went way out on a long-ass limb for you. I ain’t going to be shortchanged after all I went through,” Wade snapped.
“Look, I am the victim here. I am the one who is giving up the most,” I reminded, stabbing my chest with my finger.
“Victim? You think you are a victim?” said Wade. He rose up on his seat and turned all the way around, looking at me so hard, my face stung. He laughed so hard that a large tear rolled down his cheek like a pebble.
“You know what I mean,” I said sheepishly.
“Oh, I know what you mean all right,” Wade said, still laughing. “You are the victim, but me and Jason are just as much victims as you if we get caught, girl. Shit.” He sucked in a deep breath and turned back around to face the road. “Any way you look at this thing, you are still going to come out smelling like a rose. You’ll still have enough money to live on for the rest of your life if you spend it like you got some sense. By the way, where exactly in Hawaii do you plan on doing your thing?”
“What? What are you talking about?” I asked. Wade turned around again, his mouth stretched open like a hole in the wall. With my mind being in such a shambles, I had temporarily forgotten that I’d told him that I was going to relocate to Hawaii with my share of the ransom. “Oh! Uh, Maui. That’s where I’m going to rent me a little apartment and live a quiet life.”
“What the fuck! Whatever!” Wade threw up his hands in exasperation. “Look, you better eat something. With them dark circles around your eyes, you look like hell. I don’t want you to look like you been mistreated when you go back to your old man,” Wade said, motioning with his hand for Jason to turn into the McDonald’s parking lot at the corner. “After you eat something, we’ll drop you off back at the motel and let you have some time to yourself. You might want to go over in your head what you want to say, and how you want to act, when … uh … your old man picks you up. Rehearse your speech and shit so you can play your part right. This is a one-time deal, baby. You got to do it right the first time.”
“I don’t need to rehearse anything,” I replied in a cool, level voice.
“Look, lady. This ain’t no game. We can’t take no chance on you saying nothing stupid once we turn you loose. I ain’t going back to jail no matter what happens! If we get busted, they ain’t taking me alive!
Like Wade just said, you need to figure out everything you are going to say and do once we turn you loose,” Jason hollered, turning into the McDonald’s parking lot. “And we want to know just what it is you plan on saying!”
“No, you look, you snaggletoothed motherfucker!” My words shot out of my mouth so loud and violently, my throat ached. I had to lower my voice for my own sake. “I’ve said it once and I will say it again, this is between Wade and me. I didn’t bring you into this, Jason, and I will be damned if I am going to sit here and let you give me orders,” I hissed, leaning toward the front seat, gripping the back of the seat so hard, my knuckles ached.
As soon as the car stopped, another car pulled up and parked next to us. I immediately slumped back into the corner of my seat and held my breath. My poor heart had been thumping and pumping so hard and fast the last couple of days, I was surprised that it had not stopped beating altogether by now. Even with the cap on my head, hiding my hair, I didn’t want anybody to see me. Even people I didn’t know. Like the strange Hispanic man who had just parked his car next to us.
“Baby, we are all in this together. I know we are beginning to get on one another’s nerves, but it’ll all be over soon. Now give me some sugar,” Wade said, pursing his lips. He growled when I turned my head away. “That’s how you want to be now?” he asked, sounding hurt. I ignored him and remained huddled in the backseat as he and Jason left the car, mumbling profanities.
CHAPTER 34
I felt weaker and even more disoriented. It seemed like everything was spiraling out of control. I was afraid that one of the things that I was going to lose control of was my mind. And, even though I didn’t have much of an appetite, my mouth started to water for that Egg McMuffin that Wade had bought. I thought that if I put some food in my stomach, it might help settle my nerves. The last time I stood up, I felt so light-headed, my legs buckled and I almost fell.