More than Temptation
Page 15
“What happened?” Bella frowned. “I remember a car coming at us way too fast.”
“We were hit by a driver who was drunk and high.”
“What?” Bella winced as her sharp exclamation made her side throb. “Christ, I hurt.”
“They wanted you to wake before they gave you something for the pain.”
“What happened to the asshole who hit us? I hope they lose him in jail.”
“He died.” Morgan sighed. “At the accident, he didn’t survive. I pulled him out of the car so at least his family could say their goodbyes, but he didn’t make it.”
“Oh, his poor family.” Bella shook her head but stilled as it made her dizzy. “Fire, I remember fire.”
“The car was burning and I had to move you.”
“There is something in your tone, Morgan.” Bella frowned. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“Moving you, I could have made it worse if you were hurt.” Morgan swallowed. “But I had to move you.”
“I’m fine, Morgan. You saved my life.” Bella smiled gently. “Thank you.”
“Don’t say that,” he said harshly then closed his eyes. He opened them, smiling, before he said, “You rest and I’ll be right back. Your family is here, I’ll go get them.”
Ignoring the pain, she reached out and grabbed him before he left. “What’s wrong, Morgan?”
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Nothing. I’m fine. We are both fine.”
Morgan said it like a litany. Bella opened her mouth to ask again.
“Bella.” Her mom rushed in.
Morgan removed her hand from his arm then put it back on the bed. He stepped back and Bella frowned as she felt he was distancing himself. She brushed it off as her being fanciful.
“Thank God you are okay.” Her mom leant down and hugged her gently.
“Bella-bo,” her dad said in his gruff voice. He touched her shoulder, his eyes damp.
“I’m fine,” she assured her parents but looked over their heads at Morgan. “I’m fine,” she repeated, staring into his gaze.
* * * *
“I’m fine,” Bella said through gritted teeth.
A few days after the accident and she was getting fed up saying that to Morgan. No matter how many times she said it, he was still coddling her. Yes, she still ached but she wasn’t broken. Morgan wasn’t acting like himself and she couldn’t get to the bottom of why.
“How are you doing?” Bella asked, as she had for the umpteenth time.
“I wasn’t the one hurt.”
Bella mouthed what he had said and rolled her eyes. “For God’s sake, Morgan, you are not fine.” She enunciated each word. “You haven’t been since the accident. What is wrong with you?”
“Nothi—”
“If you tell me nothing one more time…” She didn’t finish the threat.
Morgan smiled and it was bittersweet. Bella’s mouth went dry and she waited to hear what he would say.
“Our being together won’t work, Bella.”
“Excuse me?” Bella frowned, confused. “Before the accident we were talking about forever, Morgan. You said you love me.”
“I do love you, that’s why I am walking away.”
“That makes no sense at all.” Bella clenched her fist. “Why would you leave me when you love me?”
“It’s for your own good.”
Bella stared at him, waiting for him to say more. When he didn’t, she wondered what had him back-tracking like this. She replayed everything that had happened right before the accident then after.
It dawned on her what his problem was and Bella took a step towards him. “Morgan, it wasn’t your fault. Talk to me about what happened. You need to let it—”
“Let it out.” Morgan took a step back.
Bella dropped her hand, hurt filling her that he wouldn’t let her touch him.
“There is nothing to let out.” Morgan sliced his hand in a violent motion. “It happened. You got hurt. People get hurt and you deal with it. I dealt with it.” He pointed between them. “What I’m saying now has nothing to do with the accident. Look, we were together and now it’s time to move on. I’ll come back for my things soon and bring yours.” He pivoted.
“You’re a mother fucking coward, Morgan,” Bella yelled.
Morgan stopped and stiffened. “Be—”
“No, you had your lying say, now I’ll have mine.” Bella stalked towards him and jerked him to face her. “You have not dealt with anything. You won’t talk to me. You keep brushing me off. Saying nothing is wrong when I know better.” She poked him in the chest. “You know better. You can stand there and try to lie to me, but I know the truth. Your walking away has everything to do with the accident. Instead of walking away, stay and talk to me.”
Morgan touched her finger on his chest and lifted it to his lips, kissing it. Bella swayed towards him, knees weak and hope filling her.
“I can’t stay.” Morgan’s tone held regret.
Bella jerked her hand away and glared at him. “Then what’s stopping you? Go.” She flung her hand out pointing to the door. “Get out.”
“Bella.” Morgan lowered his head then lifted it again. The pain in his eyes made her want to comfort him. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry doesn’t change things, Morgan,” Bella said softly. She balled her hand into a fist and stared past him.
Morgan went past her and she heard the door opening.
“I’m going to hunt your ass down and make you mine.
Shackle you to me till you know you are mine,” Bella sang loudly then she glanced over her shoulder at Morgan, lifting her head defiantly.
“Your soul is intertwined with mine and I will not let you go,” Morgan sang in return.
Shocked that he knew one of her lesser known songs, Bella stared at him.
“Sometimes you have to let go.” He stared at her and said softly, “Goodbye, Bella.”
He started to pull the door closed.
“Death will not take you.”
“I will follow you to eternity and wake you to join me again.”
“Life is ours to live side by side and nothing will stand in our way.”
Bella flung each lyric as she approached the door.
“I hate you for doing this to me, but yet I love you so much I ache.” She pounded her hand against her chest, the pain resonating in each word.
“Why have you decided to leave me when you know we are meant to be?”
The door closed and Bella slammed her fist on the surface, swallowing thickly as she sang. “Without you I will not live another day.”
“I’m going to hunt your ass down and make you mine.”
“Shackle you to me till you know you are mine.” She blinked as tears fell down her cheeks. “You are mine, Morgan James, no matter what lie you want to tell yourself.”
Straightening, Bella shook her head, loosening her curls so that they framed her face. “But Bella Locke does not chase any man.” She wiped at her eyes angrily then pivoted before going to her office.
* * * *
Morgan leaned against the closed door, hearing Bella singing the last lines, then her words, through the open window. He smiled, imagining her shaking her hair and lifting her chin as she strutted away.
“That’s my Bella,” he whispered.
She’s not yours anymore. He sobered at the thought. “It’s for the best,” he said out loud, trying to convince himself. He went down to his SUV then to his house. When he was inside, he paced back and forth until it was finally time for bed. He went upstairs and in the bedroom doorway he stopped. Bella’s robe hung over the chair and one of her combs was on the nightstand. Unable to face it, Morgan went to the guest room to sleep. Although the bed was comfortable, he didn’t sleep a wink. That became a pattern over the next few weeks.
* * * *
Morgan drank deep from his coffee as he entered the firehouse. With a lacklustre wave at those on or going off shift, he went to the o
ffice he shared with the other investigators on his shift. He noted that Kennan was at his desk and he glanced up, smiled then went back to work.
Morgan frowned, still uneasy that Kennan hadn’t said a word about him and Bella breaking up. He still treated him the same. Morgan went to his desk then flopped down and booted up his computer. He waited for it to start, stealing surreptitious looks at Kennan. Morgan huffed. At first he’d been glad that Kennan hadn’t said anything, but now he wavered between being pissed off and grateful.
“You sound like a sick bird when you make that sound,” Kennan said. “And you’ve been making it for weeks.”
“What?” Morgan glanced past his computer and glared at Kennan. “No I haven’t.”
“Yeah you have.” Kennan leant back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. “Why don’t you say what’s been bothering you?”
Morgan opened his mouth to deny it but instead said, “Why haven’t you said anything about Bella and I breaking up?”
“Like what?” Kennan lifted his hand and ticked off his points. “Possibly you’re an ass for leaving her. Or maybe you’re an idiot to let her go. Perhaps I could comment on you needing to get your head out of your ass and go back to her.” Kennan pursed his lips then clicked his tongue. “But I would never say those things, since I don’t interfere.”
“You just did say those things.”
“Nope, I was just making conversation about what I could possibly, maybe and perhaps say.” Kennan lowered his arms and held them open. “But see, I’m a good friend and didn’t say that you need your ass kicked for being such a fuck head and leaving Bella.”
“Sound like you are saying things to me.”
“Maybe you need your hearing checked,” Kennan retorted.
Morgan’s heart ached as he heard the familiar words he usually told Bella. The others for their shift arrived and Kennan didn’t say anything further. Morgan glared at him throughout the day, thinking of what he’d said. Kennan just smiled at him affably. By the end of shift, Morgan was ready to let off some steam. He headed towards RM Bar, as he had almost every night since he’d left Bella’s.
After parking, he got out and muttered, “Who does he think he is, calling me an ass?”
Morgan continued to mutter as he went in and found what he thought of as his spot at the bar. He noticed that people moved away from him and frowned, wondering why, but then in the next moment he didn’t care. He gestured for beer to Richard. Richard came to him carrying a beer then plunked it down.
“One beer. Then you are going to take your happy ass out of my bar.”
“Ass. Why are people calling me an ass today?” Morgan took the beer and took a deep drag.
“Because you’ve been acting like one.” Richard braced his hand on the bar. “Did you happen to notice people have been giving you space?” Richard gestured to the empty stools next to him.
“So what?” Morgan plucked at the label of his beer.
“Stop acting like an ass and make up with Bella.” Richard leaned closer. “Go and beg if you have to. Do the baby, baby, please forgive me dance. Then if she forgives you, bring her in so folks will know it’s safe to talk to you again without you being as ass.”
“Again with the ass. I’m really tired of being called that.” Morgan stood. “Why am I getting all the unsolicited advice today?”
“Because after a month of your asshole behaviour, I’m ready to fucking beat your ass.” Richard pointed to the door. “Now fix what is going on with Bella.”
“Mind your own business,” Morgan retorted.
“It is my business.” Richard grabbed him around the neck. “I care about you and I hate seeing you lose someone who is good for you because of your own pigheadedness.”
“First an ass then a pig, the insults just keep on coming,” Morgan said wryly then gripped Richard’s arm. “I’ll work on being more sociable, but Bella and I are over. I’m heading home.”
“Stubborn mule,” Richard said fondly then shook his head as he released him.
“Adding mule to the list.” Morgan turned and left.
In his SUV, he put on a CD for some noise as he drove so he wouldn’t think. It failed as he remembered listening to the music with Bella and her humming along. Everything he did or thought of seemed to lead to Bella. He let the memories of them together fill him. Their first meeting at the candy shop then later at the supper club. All the dates they had been on and the many adventures she’d decided they should do so they could broaden his horizons. Finally, he thought of the last day he’d seen her and her singing to him. The two lines that kept coming back to him filled his mind.
‘I’m going to hunt your ass down and make you mine’.
‘Shackle you to me till you know you are mine’.
Morgan closed his eyes briefly then automatically turned into his drive. Even as he did, he was surprised that he’d made it home without even realising the time had passed. He parked and went inside then prowled his house, as he had become prone to do. All too soon it was time for bed and he went upstairs to the guest room, where he had been attempting to sleep for weeks. He didn’t get much rest. Closing his eyes Morgan willed himself to get some sleep. But he opened his eyes instead and stared at the moonlit sky.
* * * *
Morgan blinked, rubbing his eyes, not knowing when he’d got to sleep. Knowing the pattern of the last few weeks, he figured it hadn’t been for long. He got up and started to get ready for his day. Morgan stopped, realising that it was his day off.
“What the hell am I going to do all day?” Morgan slid his hands into his pyjama bottoms. “Well, I at least will take a shower.”
He headed to do just that. Morgan moved through the day trying to find something to do and not think.
“I need to stop this.” Determinedly, he got a duffle bag then went around his house retrieving all of Bella’s things. He hadn’t gone for his or returned hers. He loped up the steps then to the bedroom. He picked up her robe and the scent of coconut filled his senses. Morgan dropped the bag, held the garment to his nose and inhaled. He knew the scent was from her lotion, which she had custom made at BG Scents—the place where she also bought the candles she liked to use.
“I am an asshole.” Morgan groaned. “What have I done?”
He set the robe back in place then picked up the bag and put everything of hers back where it belonged. When he was finished, Morgan exited his front door, paused then continued out of the door. In his vehicle, he backed out of his driveway then drove. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, going over in his head what he would say. All too soon, he pulled into the driveway of his destination. He had a plan of what he would say in his mind. He got out of the SUV then headed up the steps.
Morgan stared at the door and rubbed his hand along the back of his neck. He rolled his shoulders then pressed the bell and stood back. He heard the laughter through the open window by the door and it flowed through him, giving him the same feeling it had the first time he’d heard it. The door opened.
“You better not eat my ca—” Bella turned to him and she stopped, staring at him.
Having her near, the feeling of being out of sorts left him and all he wanted was to take her in his arms, but first he knew he had to make amends. He opened his mouth but all Morgan’s carefully planned words flew out of his mind, except for one prominent fact.
“I love you, Bella.”
Chapter Ten
“Yeah, I know. You’ve said that before and so did I. It seemed to be just empty words on your part. It didn’t make a difference.” Bella leaned against the doorway and crossed her arms over her chest. “You shut me out, Morgan. You chose to walk away. I—”
He cut her off before she could send him away. “I did walk away, after I made sure you were okay.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “It was my fault you were hurt and the guilt of that made me stupid. I let the idea of losing you get into my head. As stupid as it was, I thought leaving you was for t
he best. But walking away from you didn’t matter. It gutted me and all I could think of was you. Of us and how we are so good together.”
“First up, it wasn’t your fault. It was the fault of the asshole who decided driving drunk and high was a good idea. He died for it and didn’t even get to see the repercussions of what he did. The way he affected those hurt—you and I—”
“I wasn’t hurt. Didn’t even get a scratch on me.”
“Shut up, I am not done.” Bella glared at him. “You might not have been hurt physically, but emotionally it hurt you. Seeing me injured as I was in the car, and the fire billowing around us, making it dangerous for us to stay there, you had to make a choice. When you did, you moved me without knowing how bad I was and possibly injuring me more—that had to be so agonising for you. But you saved me before the car blew up, Morgan.” Bella lowered her arms. “Second, letting the idea of losing me get in your head and make you shut down and push me away was stupid. I’m going to die eventually, Morgan.”
His heart clenched at the thought.
“We all are. No one lives forever. It’s how you spend the precious time you have on earth that matters, not leaving because you are afraid to feel.” Bella stepped closer and poked him in the chest. “Third, it took you a month to come to your senses. For that, you will have to make it up to me. Fourth, you’re going to talk to me about the guilt you are feeling. We need to talk about what happened and don’t let it fester. If you shut me out again, I will tie you up and lock you away until you speak with me.” Bella stepped back. “Fifth, if you hadn’t come to me today I was going to break my rule of not chasing any man and come to you by next week. I was gonna tie you up and lock you away until you came to your senses. I had a plan and everything—even had someone to help me.” She smirked. “Driscoll and Stuart, once I convinced them not to kick your ass, were all in to help me, Dakota and Taggart to detain you. See, we use ‘detain’ since kidnapping is illegal, and we are all too pretty for jail. My family and friends even volunteered to bring us meals so I could focus on getting you to stop being an idiot. They had a calendar set up to rotate who would cook, clean and other things for us.” She turned then looked over her shoulder. “Now come on in.”