Raven: Guarded Hearts Book 3

by Claire Marta

Raven felt her cheeks pinken. “They sprang it on me at the last minute. It was... definitely fun.”

  “Hmm, I bet it was.”

  The blush spread into her hairline and spilled down her neck. “I don’t have to remain celibate just because I’m divorced, a widow, and a mother.”

  “Hey, I say go for it,” Darcy told her softly. “Just be sure you know what you're getting into first. Promise me. I don’t want to see you hurt again. I’d be forced to kill Cayden and Killian when I’m just starting to like them.”

  Raven smiled softly. Her cousin was her closest relative here and her best friend. Her approval meant a lot.

  She turned to throw the papers in the waste can and felt a pull in her abdomen—a pain so sharp, she gasped and pressed her hand against it. “Jaysus,” she grated, her mind sifting through what could possibly be wrong. Hernia, telescoping intestines, ovarian cyst, and pancreatitis topped the list. She needed labs and an ultrasound to begin to determine the cause, and she wasn’t in a position to do either.

  “Can you do me a favor?” she asked Darcy. “Go find Cayden and tell him I need him, please. And hurry.”

  When she’d had trouble just ahead of Willow’s birthday, she’d chosen to ignore it, putting it down to something she’d eaten. But not this time. It was back. Worse than before. The cramping in her abdomen was marked but thankfully nothing to rival what she’d experienced as a teenager, suffering through horrific periods. She’d settle for a cyst. Or scar tissue. She really, really didn’t want pancreatitis. Whatever was happening, it was better to be safe than sorry. She’d rather have Cayden examine her and offer a second opinion, even if it turned out to be nothing.

  A few minutes later, she heard footsteps pounding down the hall. The door flew open and Cayden burst into the room, shirtless but still wearing his pirate pants and boots.

  Darcy was right behind him.

  “What is it?” he asked, his voice strained. “What’s wrong?”

  Raven smiled through her pain, seeking to reassure them both. “Nothing, I hope. I’ve had some abdominal pain and cramping since before Willow’s birthday. I just had another pain hit, an eight,” she said. “Pushing nine. I’d like to do a CBC, a general health profile with lipids, and an ultrasound to see if anything shows up. At least I can start ruling things out.”

  Darcy looked at Cayden. “Can you help get her to my SUV? I can drive her to the ER.”

  The medic shook his head. “We’ve everything here. I can do what needs done. It will save time and a small fortune over what an ER visit will cost.”

  Raven nodded. “He’s right. If we go anywhere else, I could be waiting for hours.”

  Darcy looked skeptical but couldn’t argue with his logic. “I can help. Just tell me what to do.”

  Cayden drew blood first. Getting one tube started in the centrifuge, he put Darcy in charge of shutting it off and pulling it out when the spin cycle was done. Meanwhile, he prepped Raven for an abdominal ultrasound. She lay on the examination table with her jeans off, her panties pulled low, and gel smeared from her navel to her pubic bone.

  “We’ll take a guid look,” he promised. “See what we can find. How’s the pain?”

  “Three,” she said, grateful it had eased.

  Darcy shut off the centrifuge and came over to watch, ready to assist if he needed it. Cayden warmed the end of the probe before placing it on the midline of her belly. Moving the wand side to side, he started picking up images. Raven watched the screen, her mouth gaping open when the outline of a uterus came into view.

  “That’s not…?” Darcy whispered. “It can’t be…”

  Raven shook her head in disbelief. “It can’t have just magically grown back. It’s not possible. There has to be something wrong with the wand.”

  Cayden looked as shocked as she felt, but his initial surprise quickly turned to pure delight. She knew what he was thinking. She was no longer the barren widow who might keep them from earning redemption. Somehow, someway, during the transformation process, she had regenerated a uterus. It was there. A part of her. And within its walls was something else that was undeniable.

  New life, growing inside her.

  “Oh, my God!” Darcy yelled. “You’re pregnant! You’re freakin’ pregnant!”

  “No...I…” Raven wasn’t sure how to feel. On the verge of tears, she was struggling to hold herself together. It felt like she’d been spun on her head and dropped into a world of the impossible.

  “It’s alright,” Cayden crooned, a huge smile on his face. “Ye dinnae need tae be frightened.”

  “And how do you know that?” Raven snapped back, shaken to her core. “This is your fault and Killian’s. Jaysus.”

  The reality was terrifying. A baby. She was going to have a baby gargoyle. Now she knew what Casey and Morgan must have felt, learning that they were expecting with no idea exactly what their newborns would look like.

  No wonder they’d been so adamant about having home births, insisting that they have their babies here… surrounded by others like their mates who would understand and accept them unconditionally.

  What the hell was she going to do? What if Colin found out? He knew she couldn’t have any more children. If he saw her pregnant, he would think she’d been lying. She could only imagine his rage. What might he do to her and Willow?

  Cayden’s hand closed gently around hers. “Raven…”

  “Don’t touch me,” she snarled, tearing her fingers from his grip. “I think you’ve done more than enough. Darcy, hand me some paper towels and help me up.”

  Her cousin gathered a wad to wipe the gel off her stomach before helping her pull up her jeans.

  The Scotsman sat frowning, still clutching the probe in his hand. “Raven, we need tae talk about this. Us and Killian. Ye cannae just run away.”

  “It’s late. I’m tired, and I need to see to my daughter,” she informed him crisply. Not giving him a chance to reply, she slipped on her shoes and marched toward the door with her cousin in tow.

  Zana was hovering in the hall, lighting up when he saw Darcy.

  “Don’t!” both women scolded when he turned to follow them.

  Darcy waited until they were away from the infirmary to speak. “Oh, my God! You're really pregnant!” she whispered, growing more excited by the second. “How is that even possible? It’s like the movie Dogma when Alanis Morissette does another immaculate conception.”

  “Only this one wasn’t immaculate,” Raven muttered.

  Darcy opened her mouth but Raven held up her hand. “Don’t. Just… don’t. I can’t deal with this right now. A Fae prince, Colin, a blackmailer, and now this. Jaysus, Joseph, and Mary.” Voice wavering, she was barely holding back the tears.

  She carried a sleeping Willow from the communal living room where Theo still sat guard over her, refusing his offer of help. She wanted nothing more from him—or any of them—tonight.

  Jaysus.

  Her life had been complicated enough before all this. Now, in a space of weeks, her world had turned to chaos.

  Raven made it as far as laying her daughter down on her bed before the first sob broke. Darcy was quick to slip off the child’s shoes and tuck her beneath the blankets.

  Retreating to the couch in the living room, Raven finally broke down. The tears came hot and fast, streaming down her cheeks. She was terrified, overwhelmed, with a hope in her heart she dared not cling to.

  Prince started crying in his cage, worried about her, too. Unable to stand it, Darcy let out the dog and came back to the sofa, retaking her place beside her. Raven was barely aware of being enveloped in a pair of comforting arms, Darcy’s words soothing as she rocked her. Prince nestled against her other side, trying to console her.

  By the time the tempest had passed, she felt spent and empty. Numbly leaning on the pillows, she accepted the fresh tissues her cousin shoved into her hand.

  “Feeling better?” she asked quietly.

  Mopping up her eyes and nose, Raven shook
her head. “No.”

  “Want me to kneecap them for you? Maybe give them a throat punch?”

  Darcy’s words somehow managed to make her laugh. “Maybe later.”

  A soft knock on the suite door interrupted them from saying anything further.

  Eyes red from crying, Raven stared at it with apprehension. She knew who it was. Cayden would have informed Killian. Instead of leaving her be, they had come calling.

  Raven took hold of Prince’s collar when he wanted down.

  “I’ll get it,” Darcy offered, her expression hardening as she rose. Storming across the room, she opened the door just a crack, enough to talk but not enough to let anyone see inside. “Yes?”

  “We’d like to talk to Raven.”

  Killian sounded anxious.

  “I’m sorry, she’s sleeping,” her cousin lied, her tone edged with ice.

  Cayden wasn’t buying it. “So it was ye who was weeping like yer heart was breaking?”

  “Look, guys, not tonight, okay? Leave her alone.”

  Raven heard a guttural growl vibrate from beyond the door. It was enough to send her fear leaping and her heart rate soaring.

  “Alright,” Cayden conceded after a beat. “Tell her we’ll see her on the morrow when she’s ready tae talk tae us.”

  Nervously stroking the puppy’s fur, she waited until Darcy closed the door to speak. “They can forget that,” she grumbled furiously. “Hell can freeze over first.”

  Darcy sighed and shook her head. “Raven, you're going to have to talk to them eventually about this, especially if one of them is the father.”

  “If?” she snapped. There was no question that one of them was the father, but which one? She’d fucked them both. Taken them at the same time and used them in her anger. She’d thought to punish them, but she was the one paying for it.

  Jaysus, Joseph, and Mary. What had she done?

  Raven sighed, feeling helpless, caught in a trap of her own making. Her cousin was right. Eventually, she’d have to talk to Cayden and Killian, but that didn’t have to be now or tomorrow. Things were raw and open. She needed to process this… this miracle. Come to terms with the fact that she was going to be a mother again. Having two men breathing down her neck wasn’t going to help.

  Colin had sweet-talked her into marriage. She had sworn to never let a man manipulate her again. Cayden and Killian had changed her life for the second time, triggering her transformation without telling her. And now this. How was she supposed to trust them after everything she’d been through? It only served to make her defensive, wary, her armor slipping in place to protect her heart. One that had been battered enough through the years by loss and betrayal.

  Darcy retook her seat beside her on the couch. “How about a trip to the park tomorrow? We can take a picnic, check into the dog training programs, and have a girls’ day out with Willow. No men. No stress. Just fun.”

  “I’d like that. But I don’t think Tobias will let us go.”

  Darcy’s eyes lit with challenge. “Then we’ll sneak you out. Once we’re free and clear, we can stop by the store and pick up what we need for a picnic lunch. Pitch it to Willow right, and she’ll be all in. I’ll provide a distraction. You two can hide in my SUV. They won’t know I’ve smuggled you out until they come calling and no one answers the door.”

  It might just work. And they’d need to eat at some point. Going to a restaurant meant running the risk of discovery. Besides, eating at the park would be fun.

  She agreed with Darcy’s suggestion to buy what they’d need for their lunch. There was no way she could ask Gael to prepare something for them. The less contact with the males under this roof, the better. Avoiding Killian and Cayden would be a priority.

  Darcy searched her worried expression. “It’s going to be alright. Whatever decisions you make, I’ll be right with you even if it doesn’t include the father of your baby. Although I still don’t understand how you regenerate an entire womb.”

  “It’s...complicated.” Raven chewed on her bottom lip. Darcy was already being drawn into the veil of secrets this place held. She’d seen a miracle. Something that couldn’t be explained away.

  Raven desperately wanted to tell her cousin everything. In the end, she said nothing. Better to stay silent than entangle her further.

  Raising a hand to her throbbing head, she winced. “I should try and get some sleep before this headache gets any worse.”

  Her cousin didn’t argue. They headed down the hallway with Prince trailing after them, stopping at the door of the second bedroom.

  “Need anything?” Darcy questioned in concern, lingering before entering.

  Raven offered her a wan smile. “A restart of today? Good night.”

  Prince didn’t go into Willow’s room like he usually did. Instead, the puppy sat solemnly watching her change for bed and brush her teeth. When she finally climbed beneath the covers, he joined her, wriggling into her arms. Burying her face in his fur, Raven stroked his side, smiling when he sighed contentedly.

  She drifted asleep still cuddling him.

  * * * * *

  About three in the morning, the dreams began. One after another after another, none of them good.

  First was the morgue to identify Michael and claim her husband’s body. Her baby’s father, cold in his casket, safely away from the pain of his loss. Herself, numb on the outside but simmering inside with rage at his murderer, at the detective who’d first interviewed her, at the neighbors who’d gossiped….

  Most—and worst—of all, she was angry with Michael for leaving her.

  Colin had been there with her. He was kind at first, supportive, protective, offering shelter from the storms of life and a father figure for Willow. In the end, he’d proven to be neither. In her dream, she saw Colin attempting to snatch Willow and taking her instead. Holding her prisoner, trying to win her back until he learned that she was pregnant. Then, it was rage. Curses falling like hail on her head, accusations flying. Determined to know the truth, he grabbed a knife and cut open her belly.

  Raven woke up screaming.

  Her cell phone rang, bringing her fully out of her nightmare. Darcy knocked on her door. “Raven? Are you okay?” she whispered. The way she kept her tone hushed. Willow must still be asleep.

  Thank God for that small favor.

  “I had a dream,” she said, watching her door open. Darcy slipped inside and closed it behind her.

  “Who called?” she whispered.

  “What? Wait. That wasn’t you?”

  Darcy shook her head.

  The phone rang again. Raven picked it up, thinking it must be a client. Instead, she heard Killian’s voice pleading with her to not hang up. “Hear me out,” he begged her. “I understand ye’re upset with us, but we need to talk. It concerns you and Willow and the Fae prince. There are things ye need to know.”

  “I can’t,” she told him. “I can’t handle more right now. Please, just give me some space. I need to process this. I need to process everything but you’ve got to give me time to do it. We’ll talk when I’m ready, not before. For now, I want you to stop hassling me. You either leave me alone—leave us alone—or I’ll be the one leaving. Do you understand?”

  “But…”

  “No buts!” she grated. “And no voices! Not now! Not if you and Cayden know what’s good for you! Robbing me of choice and making me do things is not the foundation of a healthy relationship. I had that with Colin. I refuse to be treated like that again.”

  “About Colin…”

  “No!” she snapped. “Not another word. It’s fecking four in the morning and I’ll say no more. Bloody bastards,” she ground out, ending the call before he could object.

  “Killian?” Darcy guessed, having heard one side of the conversation.

  “Yes. Jaysus, Joseph, and Mary! What is it with the men here? I swear they’ll drive me mad as a hatter.”

  “Curiouser and curiouser,” Darcy muttered. “It’s like we’ve gone t
hrough the looking glass and landed in some alternate reality universe.”

  Only they hadn’t. But the doors to others had been blown open wide, and there was no going back. No return to innocence. Any choice that existed was gone now that she was expecting.

  Babies might bring their own blessings, but right now, Raven felt cursed.

  Chapter Twenty

  Cayden shot a look at the clock on the wall. The hands had crawled since four am. The last two hours felt like an eternity.

  He and Killian had done nothing but pace the floor of their apartment all night long. They couldn’t sleep. Not with the news Raven was pregnant. It was a miracle. Both of them had accepted that she could bear them no offspring. That Willow would be the child they would love and cherish as their own. That was not about to change but they were thrilled it meant she would have brothers and sisters.

  Raven wasn’t taking it well. Her fear radiated through the link between them, showing her true feelings and driving their anxiety levels through the roof. They needed to be there for her. Support and reassure her.

  Every attempt had been met with snarls and anger. Instead of welcoming them, Raven had pushed them away. Cayden was fearful if they pressured her too much, she would go as she had threatened. It would leave her, Willow, and their unborn children vulnerable.

  Theo said there were two.

  They’d called him when Raven wouldn’t speak to them, needing a voice of intuitive wisdom to understand what they should do.

  Give her time and patience, he’d counseled.

  Well, that was fecking easier said than done.

  She was afraid. Cayden couldn’t blame her for that. She had come to terms with being a mother of one long ago. Fate had thrown her a curveball none of them had seen coming. There were so many unknowns with pregnancies. And women died in childbirth. He’d seen it happen, helpless to stop it. What if the new womb wasn’t strong enough to support the babies? How in Heaven had it even grown back? Would it be stable enough to carry twins to full term? They could lose them. Lose them all, including Raven, leaving Willow for them to raise.