Hand of Thorns

by Ashley Beale

  When she takes off, my three friends all wish me an individual happy birthday while I take a sliver of cake. "Wow, this is amazing. Thank you," I mumble with melting ice cream in mouth.

  "So from here we'll all go back to shower, then we have a surprise for you. Then Leon is adopting you for dinner, and after that you're ours once more for our annual nightly swim." For the last six years on my birthday Sumner and I have snuck into a random person's pool to swim until we feel like we're going to get caught. It was an accident six years ago, we thought we were at her aunt's house and it turns out her aunt had moved and Sumner wasn't told. The thrill of getting caught made us want to do it again the following year but we went to a completely different house so that the person didn't have our names this time, in case we did get caught. Only twice have Rochelle and Penelope joined us, and the second time was the only time we got caught, but thankfully not in any trouble. I look forward to it every year.

  "Perfect. So what's my surprise?"

  "More like... you're banging Leon?" Rochelle hisses across the table. "How did I not know this?!"

  "We're not banging, as you so lovely put it," I argue. "We're just..."

  "Going to," Sumner interrupts with a chuckle.

  "What? I'm so jealous!"

  "No," Penelope says. Of course, being the most responsible of us all. "It's nothing to be jealous of. You know I love you," she says, while looking at me. "But you also know I don't think you should be having an affair."

  "Wait, he is taken by that snob, isn't he?" Rochelle asks.

  "Ellie, yes. She isn't a sob, she's just..."

  "A snob," Rochelle laughs. "And you were calling me the whore?" She looks over to Penelope, sticking out her tongue. "She's sleeping with a dude, and she's knocked up with his wife’s kid."

  "They're not married, and we're not sleeping together," I argue again.

  "An affair is an affair, and you know you want to." Penelope gives me a pointed look. At least Rochelle seems to be understanding. Although, Penelope and Sumner both do understand my conflict, and they don't typically give me a hard time, but neither of them have lectured me quite so much until now. I almost didn't tell Penelope for these reasons, but I caved one day when I couldn't handle keeping the stress to myself.

  Rolling my eyes, I place my fork done, suddenly filled up before my ice cream cake is gone. "Yes, I want to sleep with him, but not to be a whore. I'm falling in love with him, and I thought you all would understand." I stand up from the table, and all three sets of eyes are on me, every single one of them with a worrisome of their own. "I didn't plan this. I get how fucked up it all is, and I'm sorry if you all disagree with my actions, even though all three of you have admitted you'd be with him too. Yet none of you have even held a conversation with him. You haven't felt the spark we have, and you don't have a difficult decision to make. Everything is always easier when you're sitting on the sideline."

  Turning, I head straight to the bathroom, holding back the tears until I'm through the door. I instantly break down crying when I know I'm alone. Everything makes me cry lately, my hormones have been out of control, but I haven't felt like this yet. Like I'm such an insanely horrible person for everything going on. I know it's fucked up, I can admit the flaw in it all. It's not like I haven't wished it were easier, or that I didn't feel this infatuated with the entirety of Leon. I know someone is going to end up hurt in the end, and I know that someone is likely me.

  Looking at myself in the mirror, I try to take a cleansing breath before splashing a little cool water on my face. Using a paper towel, I blot the water away, but I'm still blotchy. No one has come in to check on me, so I probably scared them off, which wasn't at all intentional.

  It is my birthday though, and regardless to if they meant to upset me, they did. I should have never told anyone, I should have kept it all to myself. I'm starting to find that having someone to vent to isn't always for the better, sometimes a lecture is unnecessary when all you need is a listening ear.

  Walking back out, the table is cleared off, and the three of them all give me solemn looks. "I'm sorry," Penelope is the first to apologize. Not that I expected apologies, I merely needed to stop things before they escalated. "It's your birthday," she continues. "That was uncalled for. And you know what, I'm honestly a little jealous. You have something mysterious and forbidden, something steamy and hot, and you haven't even gotten naked with him. I have... William. So from here on out, unless I truly believe you need guidance, I'll simply be a listening ear, and I'll live vicariously through you."

  "Thank you, Penny." I squeeze her hand. "And no need to be jealous, I'd rather have a loving relationship with someone than be in this heap of a mess."

  "I'd rather be in your heap. It's Leon Owens, Monica. He's the Brad Pitt of our generation." Rochelle adds in a wink.

  "Hey, what do I know," Sumner adds in after everyone. "I'm still a virgin."

  "Have you even kissed Gunther?" Penelope asks, and I'm happy for the change in topic.

  "Yes, we kiss. A lot. And I let him play with my boobs with no shirt on." Her face turns super pink, and even more so when we all slightly chuckle. I definitely can't say much, I'm really not much different than Sumner. In fact, I'd prefer my first time be nonexistent. I'd love for Leon to be my first... and last... and only.

  Rochelle scoffs at Sumner's lack of experience. "How? How do you hold so much willpower that you're still intact?"

  "Uhh..." If I had thought she was embarrassed before I was wrong, as Sumner's face isn't pink, it's a dark shade of red.

  "What? We need the details," Rochelle instantly starts in.

  "I have a vibrator."

  We all stare, wondering if she is going to continue with something much more... exciting. When she doesn't Rochelle leans back in her chair, immediately losing interest. "So? We all do."

  "I don't," I admit. "But it's not like I haven't... you know." I advert my eyes downward for a quick second to indicate what I'm talking about.

  "Masturbated?" Rochelle whispers. I nod as she starts to laugh. "Dear God, I hope you all do. If not, I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends. I'm pretty certain I was like twelve when I discovered that feeling."

  We all slowly look around at each other, no one else admitting to anything. Penelope finally reaches down for her purse. "Well, I'd like to take a shower at some point today."

  She stands to head towards the exit while Rochelle cocks an eyebrow in mine and Sumner's direction. "We were just talking about masturbating and now she wants to take a shower." With a wink, she follows towards the exit.

  Sumner and I both stand up, but she looks a little sad. "Are you alright?" I ask, in case something is bothering her.

  She shrugs. "Gunther asked me recently if I'd go further with him, but I'm not ready. I'm scared he's going to cheat on me."

  "Is this where the sudden lectures are coming from?"

  She shrugs. "Maybe unintentionally.

  "Are you still not ready at all?"

  "No, it's not that. I'm just... scared."

  "Of?"

  "Everything. Sex changes people. Look at what happened with you and Dustin. You two were perfect beforehand, then out of nowhere he dumps you and shatters your heart. And Penelope, who was using protection and a backup method and still got pregnant. There are a number of STD's out there. All around it's hard."

  "It is." I stop to look at her, just as we're at the front door to leave. "Honestly, I think that is why I'm lusting for Leon the way I am, and why I'm enjoying what is happening so much. The unknown, the thrill, the fear, the everything all wrapped into a sloppy gift under a dead Christmas tree. It's a crazy mess and it doesn't seem appealing, but under that wrapping paper is the best damn present ever, and the feeling you get will never go away. It's worth at least taking a peek, right?"

  "That was the worst analogy ever, but I get your point."

  "Don't do anything you don't want to do, and don't let him force you, but if you feel he's the one, then
take that step. You'll regret it a lot more if you don't take the risk than if you do."

  "How did you turn out to be so inspirational anyhow?"

  "I've been getting lectured a lot lately," I mock.

  Thankfully when we get back to the beach house, we're all focused on showering, our hair, clothing, and makeup so much that every awkward, annoying, and serious conversation we had this morning goes right out the window, and the four of us are able to laugh and speak with each other as we normally do. Which is what I love about my friends the absolutely most, our ability not to fret on unimportance.

  Once we're all ready, the girls all bring me to my surprise- a burlesque styled drag gueen show, where we were handed feather boas, and our drinks had penis straws. I'm not quite sure if I've ever laughed so hard in my life, but I do know we had the wildest time ever- even if we only sat there and watched. At the end they called me to stage for my birthday, where I was seated in chair mid stage, and two of the drag queens twirled around me, lip singing along to Happy Birthday Mister President. I got to go home with a penis flask as a birthday present, with the logo slapped on the side of it.

  By the time we're back, I'm ready for bed. It exhausted me to sit there and laugh for three hours. I throw myself down on the couch and groan, complaining out loud about my body hurting and needing a nap.

  "Then drink some caffeine, you need to be awake for tonight," Sumner states. "Leon will be here in less than twenty eight minutes."

  "Twenty eight, really?"

  "Yup, because I told him he had to pick you up at five thirty, and it's currently five oh two. He also is required to bring you back before eleven so we can go skinny dip in someone’s pool."

  I stop myself from standing up, cranking my neck to turn in her direction. She fiddles with the bag of groceries she picked up on the way back home, pretending she didn't say anything. Rochelle doesn't seem to care none too much, and Penelope is already fast asleep in the recliner, so I have no one to defend me. "Who said anything about skinny dipping?"

  "Oh come on," Sumner whines. "I tried to get you to last year but you wouldn't. So we're going to this year. You have no excuses this time!"

  "My excuse is that I'm pregnant and don't want to."

  "I'm on my period and I'm still planning on going," Rochelle adds without looking up from her phone. When neither of us say anything, because we're far too busy staring at her disgusted, she finally peeks up. "What? You do know about the invention of the tampon right?"

  Turning to look at Sumner once more, I ignore Rochelle completely, but I use her as an excuse. "I'm not going if she's in the middle of shark week."

  "Like a stupid piece of fabric is going to make any difference," Rochelle argues. I still ignore her.

  Sumner walks further into the kitchen to put groceries away. "We'll see. I bet you're going to be too spent with Leon, you won't have the ability to argue with me."

  I fall backwards on the couch. I can't win.

  Chapter Ten

  September 5th

  Leon walks to the door, and for the first time he actually looks coy. Probably because all my friends decide to greet him, then swoon when he hands me a bouquet of red roses. As we step out into the still humid weather, he whispers, "One of them were fake."

  I peek over at him curiously. "One of what?"

  "The roses. You said we were like Beauty and the Beast. I didn't want all the roses to wilt, at least not anytime soon."

  He opens the car door for me and I want to thank him, but currently I'm too busy staring at him in disbelief. How can someone so agitating and confusing be so... romantic?

  He must know what I'm thinking, because Leon's smile broadens. "Wasn't what you were expecting?"

  "Honestly? Not even close."

  "Good. Happy Birthday, beautiful. Now get in the car." He winks before pushing the door closed, then races to his side of the car. It's not until he's in his seat that he leans over to give me a small peck on the cheek. I don't push for more because of what he said yesterday, about being in the public's eye.

  He asks about what we have done so far, so I tell him about breakfast and the drag queen show, and what we're planning for tonight. He listens, glancing over every now and again, while he drives us down the coastal line. It isn't a far drive when he pulls up to a gated fence, where he punches in a code. The rod iron gate swings open, allowing us to pull through, and I read the sign Luscious Surroundings Marina.

  "A boat ride?" I ask, looking around. There are highly expensive vehicles parked around, so I know this isn't your everyday marina.

  He pulls into a parking spot, killing the engine, and not saying a single word to me. Together we walk towards the pier. I urge to hold his hand which he keeps pocketed, I'm sure for the same reason. He nods his head as we step onto a smaller dock to three people standing there, all in uniform. A captain, and two others dressed in navy blue.

  "Good evening, Mister Owens. I'm Captain Alfred Jenkins, these are your personal assistants for the night, Madison and Tony. Please inform them of anything you need." They shake hands together, then the captain reaches for my hand to shake as well. "Come aboard and we'll get you settled."

  He moves out of the way to allow Leon and myself to climb aboard the gorgeous two story pearl white yacht- or maybe it's even three stories, I can't tell yet. "You rented a yacht?" I whisper when we get onto the main cabin. I can already spot what appears to be a hot tub in the distance. "Or... do you own it?"

  "I rented it for the night."

  Before I can say anything more, the two assistants stand before us. The older female with striking blue eyes and black hair, almost a Katy Perry look alike, motions for us to follow her. "If you come this way, I'll show you around. This of course is the main deck where later on you'll have a small chance at viewing some whales and dolphins maybe even a couple sharks if you're lucky." She smiles to Leon, completely avoiding my existence. "Over here there is the hot tub, which is currently at only ninety nine degrees, as requested. If you need any help, I'll be more than happy to assist you with anything. Over here we can head downstairs to your personal cabin."

  I glance over at Leon. "You had them lower the temperature?"

  "You're pregnant. I was told anything over one hundred degrees was unsafe for the baby."

  "Oh, right. Good thinking." And I am glad he said that, because honestly I didn't know that beforehand. The fact he is reading up on things like that, and making the suggestions he is, proves he's going to be a great dad.

  "Through this door is your cabin, where you have a queen size bed and a television, and through this door here is the kitchenette, which is fully stocked. We have your dinner plan already, and supper will be served promptly six thirty in here. She opens the door to the third door and it's a formal dining area with one table placed in the center. There are white lights surrounding all the windows and the table. An array of pink, white, and red roses are placed on the table, along with the plates set up for dinner. My stomach twists with happiness, I didn't think I'd ever have someone do something so thoughtful and romantic for me.

  Madison continues to explain parts of the ship while we follow along, and within fifteen minutes we end up back where we started. "Thank you for the tour," Leon tells her, slipping her some money. "We'll meet you in the dining area when the food is ready, until then we'd prefer some privacy if you don't mind."

  "Certainly. There are phones throughout the ship. Pick one up and press five, it'll connect you to either Tony or myself." She never once even looks in my direction, as if I'm completely invisible. I don't let it bother me though, in some ways I wish I were invisible.

  Heading back towards the stairs, I ask, "What about everyone on the ship, or anyone who sees us together? You're risking it as much as kissing me in public."

  "The crew all signed non-disclosure agreements. And if we're seen together... There is always a back story, so long as we're not romantic in the photos."

  I hate the feeling it gives me, so I ask
something I know I probably don't want to know the answer to. "Do you have a lot of mistresses?"

  He stops seconds before the bedroom door to turn and look at me. "Don't call yourself that."

  "Well, I technically am." And I hate that fact immensely.

  Leon places his hands on the wall on either side of my head, causing me to be pinned against the wall. He is mere inches from me, and I want to forget this conversation and kiss him, but somehow after seeing the way the girl flirted with him, it made me too curious to keep the question to myself. "No," he states sternly. "No you're not a mistress, no I have no one else I'm with. Eleanor and I have been together for a long time, and you're the first and only person I've swayed away from her with."

  I swallow hard, pushing away the emotions I feel being brought on suddenly. I don't want them. I want to forget it all so I can spend a romantic evening with Leon. Nodding my head, I tell him, "Okay." Although my voice comes out a mere whisper.

  "I know this is difficult," he sighs. "Maybe one day it'll be different."

  "So there is a possibility?" The idea of us being together and not having to hide it thrills me far more than it should.

  He racks my face over with his sterling silver eyes before speaking again. "Let's enjoy tonight. It's your birthday and I have a few things planned." I nod, accepting the small amount of hope he gives me. "First one starts in here." Flashing a grin, he reaches over to the door, opening to reveal a large bed covered in rose petals.

  I gasp at beauty of it all. "Wow, you didn't have to-"

  "Shh." He holds his finger against my lip, turning my body so I'm faced away from the bed. Step by step we slowly make our way into the room. I look up at him with amazement, wondering how I got so insanely lucky. He gracefully lowers me onto the bed, not looking anywhere except into my eyes.

  I'm comforted by the silk of the blanket, surrounded by an extensive amount of rose petals, and Leon lowers his lips to mine. A powerful feeling courses deep through my veins, and I know without a doubt this is what love feels like. Any ounce of uncertainty I had is now vanished. Leon is the one for me, and I'll forever hold him in my heart.