Shameless With Him

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  So, I told myself I wouldn’t.

  I promised.

  * * *

  Later, armed with an assortment of cookies that I had picked up from a nearby bakery, I was on my way to my brother’s house.

  I didn’t know what I was supposed to think about Zoey. I hadn’t texted her at all today, hadn’t even talked with her since we slept together. Sure, it had been less than forty-eight hours ago, but I was an asshole.

  Maybe I should do something more than just thinking about her.

  I pulled up to my brother’s house and parked the car. Before I got out, I took out my phone.

  Me: Having fun tonight?

  Great, that seemed like a good way to start a conversation. I really wasn’t good at this. And I didn’t even know what this was.

  Zoey: Hey. I’m working late. And then I’m going to head home and think about a fancy baked potato for dinner. What about you?

  Me: A baked potato sounds pretty awesome. Cheese, right?

  I had officially lost my mind, but I didn’t really know what I was doing. I never did these days, especially when it came to Zoey.

  Zoey: Oh, I even have cut-up bacon that I stored in my fridge. This potato’s going to be amazing.

  I grinned.

  Me: You’re going to have to make me one sometime.

  There. That was planning a future. Around a baked potato, sure, but it counted, didn’t it?

  Zoey: You’re always welcome over for a baked potato. Or, I could make real food.

  Me: What do you like cooking?

  Zoey: Anything, really. Although I’m not the best baker. Thankfully, we have friends for that now.

  Me: Especially now that Thea and Erin are baking more with Thea pregnant. I’m going to have to start working out more to lose the weight of all the baked goods I have in my system.

  I purposefully didn’t look over at the cookies that neither of them had made. Maybe I really did need to eat a salad.

  Me: I’m on my way to Devin’s house to meet with the guys for some wings. Actually, I’m sitting in front of his place like a weirdo, texting you.

  Zoey: You’re not a weirdo. But have fun. LOL

  Me: You have fun, too. Don’t go too crazy with your potatoes.

  Zoey: I don’t know if that’s supposed to be a euphemism or something.

  I laughed so loudly, I even scared myself.

  Me: No, I was just trying to sound smart, and now I’m an idiot. But have fun tonight, Zoey. I might text you later when I get home. Sound good?

  Zoey: I hope you do.

  I didn’t say bye, didn’t say anything else, I just let those words echo inside me.

  I got out of the car and headed towards the front door. It opened, and Tucker stood there, grinning. “I thought you were going to sit in your car for an hour. Everything okay?”

  Since my family knew what was going on with me, I assumed Tucker knew, too. Amelia wouldn’t have kept that secret.

  “Wasn’t a headache or anything. I’m fine.”

  “If you’re sure. I can always drive you home or anywhere really if you need it.”

  “I think you work longer hours than I do,” I said, shaking my head.

  “Maybe, but I can make time.”

  “You know, you don’t have to suck up to me to marry my sister. First off, she’d marry you even if we didn’t like you. Second, you’re a good guy.”

  “Thanks for that,” Tucker said dryly as he took the cookies from my hands. “Nice, I love this brand. Just don’t tell Thea or Erin that I cheat on them with these cookies.”

  “I won’t if you won’t,” I said.

  “And I was offering to give you rides or anything you need just because I like you. We’ve been friends for a while now. Even before Amelia and I got together.”

  “Yeah, but still, you’ll forever be the guy that is marrying my sister.”

  “And I really don’t mind that at all.” Tucker grinned, and I knew he meant it.

  I loved my baby sister, but she was a lot to deal with sometimes. Not that I’d ever tell her that. Mostly because she could kick my ass. Migraines or not.

  “Nice, you brought cookies,” Dimitri said as he took the box from Tucker. “Don’t tell Thea. Not that I want to keep secrets from my pregnant wife. But for my sanity, I’ll keep this secret.”

  “Pregnancy going well, then?” I asked, looking at Tucker as his eyes danced with laughter.

  “I’m so fucking scared and excited it’s ridiculous. However, Thea has passed the point of being happy and sweet and wonderful and has gotten to the point of wanting to murder me. I think it’s a prelude of what’s going to happen in the delivery room.”

  “Hormones?” Devin asked as he came in, wings in hand.

  “Do not say the H-word. She will rip off your balls.”

  All four of us winced, slowly closing our stances and shuffling our feet. Devin cleared his throat. “Well, on that note, I’ve got wings, I’ve got sides, and I’ve got ranch.”

  “What about blue cheese?” Tucker asked, and the three of us Carr brothers shuddered.

  “Blasphemer,” Devin spat.

  “You guys are insane. I’m really glad that I’m marrying into the family, though,” Tucker said.

  “You can’t help it. You’ve always wanted to be one of us,” Devin said.

  “Hey, speaking of family. How’s Evan?” I asked about Tucker’s son.

  Tucker hadn’t known he was a father until recently, and neither had Tucker’s ex. Everyone assumed that the kid was her husband’s, not the man that she had been with before him—Tucker. The news had broken when Evan got sick and needed bone marrow. But, apparently, the family was working on making firm connections, and Amelia was going to be a stepmother. It was pretty fucking cool, even if sometimes I couldn’t get my head around it.

  “He’s doing much better. The treatments are working. Thank God.”

  “Good. That kid deserves happiness,” Dimitri said from my side.

  “So, wait, that means we’re uncles,” I said as it hit me. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before.”

  “Because I’m not exactly married to your sister yet. However, the kid’s got a huge-ass family now.”

  “Bigger if he wants to include all of Thea’s relatives,” Dimitri said, laughing.

  “Dear God, we’re not adding all of them,” I said, humor in my voice.

  “Don’t know why you’re scared of so many Montgomerys.” Dimitri shook his head.

  “They should be scared of the Carrs,” Devin said. “We’re starting to multiply.”

  “Speaking of multiplying,” Dimitri said, and I froze.

  “We’re talking about Thea, right?” I asked casually.

  “I was actually thinking about you and Zoey. Anything you want to tell us?”

  I narrowed my eyes at Devin, who held up his hands.

  “I didn’t say anything.”

  “A-ha,” Tucker exclaimed. “So, there is something to say.”

  “Don’t say a-ha, weirdo. There’s nothing to say. We’re just…seeing how things go.”

  “Do the girls know?” Dimitri asked. “Because I think we all noticed, but I don’t believe Zoey has mentioned anything to them yet.

  “I don’t know,” I said honestly. “I’m sure she will. We’re not exactly keeping it a secret, but we’re not going to talk about it either. It’s new. We’re figuring it out.”

  “Okay, just don’t fuck it up because then I’m going to have to hear about it from Amelia,” Tucker said, rolling his eyes. I threw a celery stick at him, but the guy caught it and then crunched down. “Would’ve been better with blue cheese,” Tucker said.

  “Like we said, blasphemer,” I said, shaking my head. “And stop thinking I’m going to hurt her. I kind of hate that.”

  “I can’t help it. You guys were all assholes to me, so I get to be an asshole to you.” Tucker winked, and I reached for a carrot to throw, but Dimitri held my hand back.

 
; “Stop throwing vegetables. We’re adults here. If you’re going to do it, throw wings.”

  “Don’t you dare stain my fucking couch,” Devin growled. “And we’re not going to talk about women tonight. This is men and wings and some kind of sporting event. What’s playing tonight?” Devin asked.

  I groaned. “Are we that focused on work that we’ve forgotten games?”

  Devin shrugged. “Work, the aforementioned women that we’re not mentioning, and upcoming babies. Apparently, that takes a lot of time.”

  I shook my head and leaned back against the couch, munching on wings as we turned on a college game and just had man night. I didn’t think things would stay this way, what with kids and babies and weddings coming, but it was nice just to be for a little bit. Because even as my head started to hurt again, and my stomach roiled, I knew that I had to hold on to what was normal.

  What was sane.

  And maybe, just maybe, Zoey could be that.

  If, like the guys had said, I didn’t fuck it up.

  Chapter 11

  Zoey

  My hands were cramped, my back ached, my feet hurt, and I was pretty sure I was getting a headache. Might as well round it all out for a beautiful evening.

  I stretched and made my way to my house. I hadn’t planned on working so late, mostly because I had been forced to take a longer lunch than usual—if I ever took a lunch, that was—because Lacey had needed me for wedding plans.

  I hadn’t minded that too much, though, because she’d needed to meet with the owners of the gorgeous farm that would be hosting the reception, wedding, and rehearsal, and John was supposed to be there. However, her fiancé had been stuck dealing with an emergency, and our mother had had a root canal, meaning I was the one who got to go with her. Mom was recovering, John was apologetic, and I was exhausted.

  Lacey hadn’t wanted to be alone, and I didn’t blame her. There were thousands of tiny decisions that needed to be made, and she’d needed a sounding board, even if I didn’t say much the entire time. However, that two-hour lunch ate into my day, and I still needed to complete the same amount of work. I was dog-tired, but at least I was done for the day.

  And because I was running late, it meant that I wasn’t the first one to my house for our girls’ night. I walked inside where Erin and Amelia were working on a charcuterie board and pouring a glass of wine.

  “See, I knew each of us having keys was great for emergencies.” Erin spoke as she walked over, handing me a glass of red.

  I drank half of it in one gulp and sighed. “This is bliss. Actual bliss.”

  “Long day?” Amelia asked, taking a sip of her own wine.

  “Yes, but a good one. It was just long. I guess wine and cheese is always an emergency. So, yay keys.”

  “Amen,” Erin said and clinked her glass to mine. Amelia scrambled over and clinked her glass, as well.

  “Don’t forget me,” she said. “To wine and cheese and girls’ night.”

  “Yes, I need food. Anything. I didn’t actually get to eat lunch.” I took another sip of my wine and wanted to drown in it.

  Erin nodded. “Welcome home. And, yes, food is a must. Considering that you almost downed your entire glass just now, let’s get some food in you. We have charcuterie, but I made those little meatballs that you love, too.”

  “Ooh, the sweet ones in the Crock-Pot?”

  “Yes, I even brought over the meatball Crock-Pot.”

  Amelia snorted. “I love how Devin has named it that, even though I’m pretty sure you’ve used it for dips before.”

  “Not anymore, actually. I had to buy a bigger Crock-Pot for dips because it’s not just me or the girls anymore. Guys tend to eat a lot of cheese dip.”

  “It’s cheese dip. Can we blame them?” I asked, laughing.

  “No, I guess we really can’t. Anyway, we have a Crock-Pot of meatballs, a Crock-Pot of that cheese dip, and bacon-wrapped pineapple.”

  My stomach growled, and I actually groaned aloud. “Bacon?”

  “You know it.”

  I took a meatball and considered dying right then in meatball bliss. “I’m so sorry I was late. I didn’t actually do anything to help tonight.”

  Amelia shook her head. “You had your house open for us, and if we drink too much wine or the guys can’t pick us up, you’ll let us sleep here. I’m not really seeing a problem.” She shrugged.

  “Though, actually, I can’t stay the night,” Erin added. “I can probably share a bottle of wine with you guys, but then I have to go.” She winced, and I frowned.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Everything’s fine, but Devin and I have a few wedding plan things to start on before we start the real planning, and tonight was really the only time he could do it.”

  I nodded. “That’s not a problem. I like that we’re at least having dinner together. And, honestly, I’m too tired to have a full girls’ night.”

  Amelia smiled. “Oh, good. Because I haven’t actually gotten to spend a whole night with Tucker in a while. And he’s off work tonight, oddly enough.”

  I frowned. “Well, now I feel bad. We can cancel tonight. Most of the food will save.”

  “No, we’re doing dinner. We’re going to share this wine, and then we can go home to our men.” Erin looked at me. “And maybe you can call Caleb and invite him over.” She winked, and I did my best to look innocent.

  “Oh, wow, you’re as subtle as a sledgehammer right now.” I blinked.

  Erin leaned over the counter. “We can’t help it. So, come on, when did it start? What have you done? Tell us more.”

  “All I did was text you that I had dinner with Caleb. And, suddenly, you think you know everything.” I rolled my eyes.

  “We don’t know everything,” Erin said. “That’s why we’re asking you.”

  “Plus, we want to hear it from you,” Amelia added. “And we all saw you two leave together from the baby shower.”

  I blushed. “He was just giving me a ride.”

  “Yeah? Or were you the one to ride him?” Amelia asked, laughing at her own joke.

  I rolled my eyes but knew I was blushing right to my ears.

  “Ooh, tell us.” Erin danced on her stool at the kitchen counter.

  “I don’t know what to say.” I looked down at my wine, wishing I had the words to describe what was going on. I didn’t know, and that was the problem.

  Amelia patted my hand. “Just start at the beginning.”

  I sure as hell wasn’t going to start at my beginning. Maybe I could start at Caleb’s. Because nobody needed to know that I’d had an unrequited crush for as long as I had.

  It was embarrassing.

  “We just started talking, mostly because of the wedding plans, and one thing led to another. We kissed.”

  “Yay,” Amelia said, clapping her hands along with Erin.

  “And?” Erin prodded.

  “And we’re seeing what happens.”

  “Well, what has happened so far?” Erin asked, filling my wine glass a little bit more.

  I narrowed my eyes at her. “Are you trying to get me drunk so I’ll tell you what happened?”

  “Maybe,” she said, laughing.

  “You are horrible,” I said.

  “I am, but I learned from the best. You both did the same thing to me with Devin. We want to know what’s going on, Zoey. Plus, it’s nice to finally see you guys together.”

  I froze. “Finally?” I asked, and Erin winced.

  “Smooth comment,” Amelia muttered under her breath.

  I swallowed hard. “What do you mean, finally? Is there something you know that I don’t?” I asked, trying to keep my voice casual.

  “Okay, I’ll say it,” Amelia said. “You know how everyone thought Tobey and I were together, or that I had that huge crush, and nobody really talked about it with me in the room?” Amelia asked, point-blank.

  I winced. “I’m sorry about that. Don’t talk about things that make you sad,” I said qui
ckly. Tobey was Amelia’s former best friend, and after an unfortunate evening when Amelia had professed her love to him, they’d ended up breaking off their friendship because of more than that evening, but it still hurt to think about, I was sure.

  That was one of the reasons I had never done anything with Caleb. I never wanted to feel what Amelia had. I never wanted to ruin whenever sanity and peace I had. But I thought it was far too late for that now.

  “Well, don’t worry about it. I have Tucker. I’m happy. And, yes, I miss Tobey in my life, but I like the healthy relationships I have now without the lying that had apparently been happening right under my nose.” She shook her head, and both Erin and I reached out to her. “I’m fine. Really. But I do better when I don’t have to talk about it.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said quickly, and she shook her head again, letting out a long breath.

  “No, I’m the one who brought it up because it’s almost similar. Everyone thought there was something between me and Tobey. There clearly wasn’t, and I’m glad for it because I wouldn’t have looked at Tucker and fallen for him like I did. Anyway, the group of us have noticed the looks between the two of you, and not just on your end. It’s been happening for a while now. However,” she added quickly when I opened my mouth to speak, “we don’t want it to end like it did with me and Tobey. So, we’re thinking happy thoughts.”

  My brain struggled to catch up. They’d known. All this time, they’d known. No, they only knew some of it, of that I was sure. They didn’t know the depth of my feelings—I wasn’t even sure of those. And, until recently, I was pretty sure whatever looks Caleb had given me that the others had noticed, hadn’t been what they were now. Not that I knew what those looks meant at any point in my friendship or now our relationship—whatever it was—with Caleb.

  “I want happy thoughts, too. I just didn’t know that everyone realized I had a crush on him.” There, I could be honest and open about that much.

  “It wasn’t just that,” Erin said quickly.

  “Really?” I blinked.

  “Well, we always thought that Caleb might have a thing for you, too. And considering you two might be feeling something, whatever that something is, maybe we were right.”