Kiss Me Box Set

by Hart, Emma

  “It’s okay. I suppose being alive is enough. Although you should make sure to keep the cape on you.”

  “It’s a fire hazard, don’t you think?” I changed the TV channel. “One too many fancy whips Superman-style and I’m the one on fire.”

  “Huh.” She paused for a moment and her breathing crackled down the line. “That would defeat the object of wearing one.”

  “It would, wouldn’t it?”

  She sighed. “Never mind. It was a nice fantasy while I had it.”

  “You’re fantasizing about me in a cape?”

  “Not specifically. And it’s not a fantasy.”

  “You just said it was.”

  “Oh, my God. Just because I said it doesn’t mean I meant it.”

  “Are you in the habit of saying things you don’t mean?”

  “I’m a hot-tempered woman with a family of insane relatives, a best friend who feeds raccoons, a big brother who pisses me off daily, and another best friend who is a chronic on-off dater. What do you think?”

  I bit back a laugh. “I think I’ve learned more about you in the last five seconds than I have since I first texted you.”

  Reagan didn’t bother to hide her laugh. “That’s because you have. That’s the most any stranger knows about me.”

  “I don’t think you can call me a stranger anymore. I know way more about your TV preferences than I ever wanted to know. Plus, you shattered my dreams. You can’t shatter a stranger’s dreams.”

  “Yeah, well, you’ve never seen me be hit on in a bar. Dreams get shattered all over the place.”

  “You’re a fucking delight, aren’t you?”

  “Yes, I am. Thank you for noticing.”

  That was one laugh I couldn’t hide.

  “Anyway,” she said, clearly bringing the conversation to a close as some kind of knocking sound came from her end of the line. “Thank you for the late chat. It was fun, but there’s a crazy old lady banging on my door and demanding I adhere to a curfew I haven’t followed since I was seventeen.”

  That explained the banging. “You’re welcome. Thanks for giving me more company than my weirdo dog.”

  “Watch it. If I ever meet that dog and you’re being unnecessarily mean, I’ll steal her.”

  “I’ll give her to you,” I replied dryly. “’Night, Reagan.”

  “’Night, Superman.”

  I opened my mouth to demand she never call me that again, but her giggle right before the line cut off distracted me just long enough.

  Now, the line was dead.

  I could text her, but I knew she wouldn’t listen.

  Damn it.

  Poosh knocked into my ankle and yipped.

  “Bedtime. C’mon, Poosh.”

  ***

  “Will you get your fucking nose out of your phone?” Joel, our chief, whacked Liam around the back of the head.

  “Tell that to my mother.” Liam cricked his neck. “My sister is in labor and she’s texting me every single thing.”

  I winced.

  “Well, don’t tell us,” Joel demanded. “That’s too graphic for this early in the morning.”

  He wasn’t wrong. It was only just getting light out.

  Liam shot him a dark look and glanced at me. “Why aren’t you telling Noah to get his nose out of his phone? It’s been there all week.”

  “What are you, five?” Joel rubbed his salt-and-pepper beard. “He’s new. He’s probably making friends, right, Noah?”

  I jerked my head up. “No. I was, uh, buying shit paper on Amazon.”

  Liam snorted.

  “You can do that?” Joel leaned over to look at my phone. “Well, I’ll be damned. And it’s cheaper. Gotta tell that to the wife.”

  “Earning brownie points for the next time you shoot a hole in the garage door?” I grinned. Three weeks ago, he’d accidentally discharged one of his hunting rifles and sent the bullet flying into the garage door where it’d embedded itself in a thick piece of metal.

  “Still haven’t heard the end of it,” he muttered, turning back to the coffeemaker that had seen better days. “She reckons I could’ve killed someone. I told her it would’ve killed the neighbors and I would’ve done the entire cul-de-sac a damn favor.”

  Liam picked up his coffee. “I’m not sure that’s a good thing to say to a retired police officer.”

  “She agreed,” Joel replied dryly. “Their dog still thinks our front yard is its toilet. Caught the grandson almost eating its crap the other day.”

  “Were you trying to hit the neighbor or their dog when you ‘accidentally’ fired the rifle?” I teased.

  “Hey. You’ll be on toilet duty if you keep that up, newbie.” He pointed a thick, weathered finger at me. “Remember your place.”

  “I’m on toilet duty,” I replied with a dry tone of my own. “It’s on the roster.” I slid the bit of paper over toward him. “You drew it up.”

  He swiped it up and looked at it. “I did this last month. I don’t know what I watched on TV last night.” He tossed it back at me and I grabbed it before it dunked into my coffee. “Good catch. You shoulda played baseball.”

  “I did,” I replied. “But I decided that running into burning buildings would be more fun than earning millions of dollars.”

  Liam choked as he laughed at me.

  Joel narrowed his eyes and wiggled a finger. “You put your sassy pants on today.”

  “I don’t think they come in my size, Chief.”

  “I knew I should have retired last year. That stupid psychic my wife makes me go to said my life was about to get difficult.”

  “That was probably about the neighbors, not Noah.” Finn walked into the kitchen and joined us, dumping his backpack by the door. “’Cause if he’s more difficult than the neighbors, Chief, you shoulda fired him already.”

  I grinned. “He’s right.”

  “You boys.” Joel shook his head and picked up his mug. “I don’t know how I put up with you.”

  “You love us really.” Finn smirked.

  “Like a hole in the head,” he muttered in response. “Y’all finish those coffees and get your butts downstairs. We got trainin’ to do. Burning buildings don’t put themselves out.”

  “And thank God, because if they did, I’d still be living with my mother,” Liam murmured when Joel left the room.

  Me and Finn laughed.

  “So.” Finn hit the button on the coffeemaker and looked over at me. “My sister saw you having lunch with Reagan yesterday.”

  “We’re friends,” I replied.

  “Didn’t Reagan live in the building that burned down last week?” Liam leaned forward. “My ex used to live there and I swear I saw her there several times.”

  “Think so,” Finn asked. “Not sure. I haven’t spoken to her since high school.”

  I knew where this was going.

  “Yeah,” I said before they could reminisce about Reagan in high school. “She did live there. I was the one who actually got her out.”

  Liam’s eyebrows shot up. “And now you’re friends?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t go to lunch with strangers.” I wasn’t going to expand on the rest of the story about how we knew each other. It was partially their faults.

  “And you just happened to have her number?”

  “Jesus Christ, what is this? An interrogation?” I finished the rest of my coffee. “I’ve been in town six months. Is it that unbelievable to think that our paths might have crossed at some point?”

  Finn hit me with a look. “You fucked her, didn’t you?”

  “Shit—no.” I shook my head emphatically and put my mug in the sink. “Haven’t even kissed her.” Not for a lack of wanting to, though. “Like I said; we’re friends. There’s nothing more to it.”

  “All right.” He leaned back against the kitchen counter. “You’re being real defensive for ‘just friends.’ If you haven’t fucked her, you definitely want to.”

  Liam nodded, closing his eyes. �
�I’d fuck her.”

  “I’d fuck her seven ways to Sunday,” Finn said. “She’s hot as hell.”

  “Thought you said you hadn’t spoken to her since high school.” I pocketed my phone.

  “I haven’t,” Finn replied. “But I don’t need to talk to her to know I’d like to fuck her.”

  “Damn right.” Liam slammed his empty coffee mug on the table. “C’mon. Let’s go before Joel kicks our asses.”

  Sometimes, I wondered if it would have been easier to be born a woman.

  There was no way women talked this crudely about guys, was there?

  CHAPTER TEN

  * * *

  REAGAN

  Danger, Danger!

  “I literally came in my sleep,” I hissed, flattening my hands against the table. “This is a problem!”

  Ava blinked at me. “I don’t really know how to respond to that.”

  Groaning, I slumped forward on the table and buried my face in my arms. This was going from bad to worse.

  “I see the drama llama is joining us for lunch today.” Halley pulled out a chair and sat down. “What did I miss?”

  I groaned again.

  “I got this,” Ava said. “She had a dirty dream about Noah last night and, apparently, orgasmed while she slept.”

  “Well, shit. The drama is justified for once.”

  I sat back up and shot daggers at my best friends. “This is serious, you guys. I think it’s my subconscious taunting me.”

  Halley adjusted her glasses. “The subconscious does control your dreams. Does that mean you actually want to sleep with him?”

  “Of course I want to sleep with him,” I hissed. “Have you seen him? He’s a walking wet dream!”

  “I’m glad we cleared that up,” Ava muttered.

  “The problem is that I don’t think he sees me that way,” I continued, grabbing a paper napkin so I had something to fiddle with. “I knew I shouldn’t have called him last night.”

  “You called him?”

  Halley choked on her water. “What she said.”

  I nodded. “I did. We were talking about TV, and he tried to bait me about Ross, and I called him to whine. You know how I feel about Ross Geller.”

  They both nodded their heads. After all, they’d heard all about how he was The Worst Character Ever. I could write a book on it. At least a solid blog post or a viral Twitter rant.

  “We talked for a bit until Bethel came banging at my door like the dictator she is.”

  Halley opened her menu and nodded for me to continue while she read.

  “I think that was it. He has the best voice—like, he could read me the phonebook and I’d probably come right in my pants.”

  “Like you did while you slept.” Ava hid a smile by wrapping her lips around her straw.

  I glared at her. “Here’s the thing: when I was in the fire, before I knew who Noah was, I promised myself that if I survived it, I’d find out where he lived and if it was possible, ask him out.”

  “Ohhh,” Halley said, closing the menu. “And lunch yesterday was his idea and not romantic at all.”

  “Right.”

  “So ask him out,” Ava said, looking at me like I’d lost more than a few brain cells. “Since when have you ever cared about anything like that? You’re the confident one out of us. Halley was in love with Preston for years before the kissing booth got them together and, if Preston hadn’t done it, there’s no way they’d be together right now.”

  “Hey!” Halley tapped her with her menu. “I could have told him.”

  “No, you wouldn’t have,” I replied with a slight shake of my head.

  Ava looked at her pointedly before turning her attention back to me. “I’m a hot mess. I can’t keep a relationship going to save my life, and I have feelings for Ethan who, by the way, I barely stand as a friend. I’m only nice to him because of my brother. But you, Reagan? You’re the one who just goes for it. You’ve said over and over how you think we’re stupid for having all these feelings and not acting on them.”

  Halley slowly smiled. “My, my, my, how the tables have turned.”

  This was a terrible idea.

  “All right. So I’m being a chicken.” I held up both of my hands right as our waitress came over. We all made our order before I picked the conversation back up. “Thing is, it’s weird, isn’t it? We’ve talked way more over text than anything else, and he still keeps texting me back even though I’m a bit of a weirdo.”

  “At least you admit it.” Halley raised her water in my direction.

  “Just ask him out!” Ava banged her hands on the table. “Goddamn it, Reagan!”

  “Okay, first, you are the last person who should be getting annoyed with me,” I pointed out. “Have you asked Ethan out yet?”

  “Shut up.”

  “Exactly.”

  “She’s right,” Halley said, moving hair away from her glasses. “You should just ask him out. You know you get along, so it’s not going to be a complete disaster. Otherwise, you’re going to regret it. Plus, he’s literally your dream guy.”

  I whimpered. “He even has a chihuahua.”

  Ava’s eyes widened. “Ask him! Now!”

  “I’m not texting him now!”

  “Why not?”

  “Because he’s at work.”

  “And how do you know that?”

  “I think you should go away.” I folded my arms across my chest.

  Halley sniggered. “You don’t have to do it now, but seriously, Reagan… You haven’t been on a date in forever. Even if you don’t have anything romantically—because no, liking the way his dick looks is not the basis for a romantic connection—you’re either going to be friends or fuck each other a few times, and that’s okay.”

  She had a point.

  I was insanely attracted to Noah, and sometimes, when he looked at me, I got the feeling that he was attracted to me, too.

  Maybe I did need to stop being a hypocrite and just ask Noah out.

  What was the worst that could happen?

  ***

  I picked up my phone before putting it back down on the sofa again. I’d been pacing the living room now for ten minutes. Thankfully, nobody else was at home, or they’d have carted me back off to the hospital to be admitted for mental health reasons.

  At least that was what Aunt Bethel had threatened when she’d heard me on the phone to Noah until late last night.

  I thought she was the one who needed admitting for mental health reasons.

  The front door opened. “Mom?”

  “She’s not here,” I shouted toward my brother.

  “Fuck’s sake.” The front door closed, and Preston clomped into the living room. “Where is she?”

  “Hi, sis. How are you, sis? Good to see you up, sis.”

  He pulled me into a one-arm hug. “Yeah, yeah, you’re fine. Where’s Mom?”

  “I don’t know. I’m not her keeper.” I dropped down onto the sofa and caught my phone before it bounced off. “Why?”

  “She didn’t do the order for the store like she was supposed to and she’s not answering her phone.” He huffed and sat down on the ottoman by the fireplace. “I bet she’s shopping. She has to feed you, after all.”

  “Hey, asshole, it’s not my fault they have me under house arrest.”

  “You had lunch with that guy yesterday and Halley and Ava today. How is that house arrest?”

  “I had to beg them to let me out yesterday and I snuck out today.” I flipped my phone and caught it again. “Don’t tell Aunt Bethel that.”

  “Your secret’s safe with me.” Preston smirked and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “So the guy.”

  “Don’t you start as well.”

  “What do you mean? You’re my little sister. I’m just looking out for you.”

  “No, you’re being a nosy bastard.”

  “I’m looking out for you!”

  “Preston, you can say it as many times as you like, but
it doesn’t make it true.”

  He sighed, shaking his head. “Halley already told me who he is. She seems to think you’re gonna chicken out of texting him.”

  “I knew you weren’t looking for Mom.”

  “I am looking for Mom, but I figured I could kill two birds with one stone by coming here.” He shrugged. “So? Did you ask him out yet?”

  I clutched my phone tightly and sunk back into the cushions that were scattered across the sofa.

  “I’ll take Reagan’s deafening silence and guilty look for two hundred dollars, Alex.”

  “Fuck off,” I muttered, grabbing one of the scatter cushions and hugging it close to me, almost like a barrier between us. “It’s dumb anyway.”

  “You already had lunch with him. Why don’t you just do it again?”

  “Lunch wasn’t a date.”

  “Why are you making this so complicated?” Preston raised his eyebrows. “Since when did you ever give a fuck about—oh. I get it.”

  I swallowed. “Get what?”

  His lips tugged up in a knowing smile. “You like this guy.”

  “He saved my life. I’d be an asshole for hating him.”

  “Don’t deflect, Reagan. You know what I mean.”

  I groaned, falling over so I was lying on the sofa. “Yes, okay, I like him. He’s funny, and we get along really well. I think we’re becoming pretty good friends and I don’t want to ruin that.”

  “How does he feel about you?”

  “Probably amused by my endless sarcasm and not too impressed by my ability to ruin his favorite TV show.” I moved to put the cushion beneath my head.

  My brother shook his head. “Let me guess. How I Met Your Mother.”

  “The characters are seriously problematic!”

  “I’m not getting into that again. We’ll be here all evening.” He snorted. “I get why you don’t want to ask him out, but I know you. You’ll kick yourself forever if you don’t, especially if you promised yourself that you’d do it.”

  I pursed my lips. I was going to have a chat with my best friend about her big mouth. My brother knew far too much for my liking. “If you’re here to force me into it, you can fuck off.”

  “I’m not here to force you to do anything.” He held his hands up. “I’m here to remind you that you’ve never once gone back on your word, and your best friends do have a bet running on you right now.”