Molly Noble Bull

by The Winter Pearl

  It wouldn’t be easy, leaving Jeth, but it had to be.

  A woman who Honor recognized from the church entered the general store, holding her little girl’s hand. Honor moved behind a wall of the hotel to keep from being seen.

  I’ll never see Hearten or the people who live here again, she thought, swallowing hard. Goodbye, Jeth. I love you—and I always will.

  When she thought nobody was looking, Honor got on the stage, her ticket in her hand. A few minutes later, the horses started off. The wheels rolled, slowly at first, and her heart churned with every turn, with every bump on the rocky road.

  By now, Jeth and his mother would know she wasn’t coming back. Would Jeth be sorry? Would he come and look for her? She was going far away, where he would never be able to find her. She wanted to look back, one more time, but Honor forced herself to gaze down at her hands folded in her lap.

  The elderly gentleman seated beside her turned to speak. “Are you from Hearten, ma’am?”

  Honor hesitated. “No, I’m just passing through.”

  “The ticket agent said there would be an hour stop in Falling Rock,” the man went on. “And if the weather allows it, we’ll be traveling on toward Cold Springs.”

  “And if the weather is bad?”

  “We’ll be spending the night in Falling Rock. In fact, the stage might not leave again until the day after Christmas. Ma’am, do you have family in Falling Rock?”

  She hesitated. “I used to. Not anymore.”

  “Well, I hear there’s a nice hotel in town. I planned to stay in the hotel myself, if we don’t go on.”

  “Thank you for the information, sir. I’ll keep that in mind.”

  Honor glanced down at her clothes. She wore her brown coat over her faded blue wool dress. It was the same outfit she’d worn to gather wood on the previous day, and she needed a bath. Honor didn’t care, nor did she care where the stagecoach took her. All she wanted was to be as far from Lucas and all of her memories as possible.

  When Jeth arrived at the boardinghouse, Belinda Grant waited in the kitchen. She looked distraught and began to cry as soon as she saw him.

  “What’s wrong?” Jeth asked. “Has Uncle Lawrence taken a turn for the worst?”

  “He’s doing much better. It’s…it’s Miss Honor.”

  “Honor!” Jeth’s voice had cracked with emotion, making his feelings for the young woman all too clear. “What’s wrong with her?” He felt his eyes widen. “Is she sick?”

  “She’s—” Belinda wept into her white handkerchief. “She’s gone.”

  Jeth frowned. “What do you mean, ‘gone’?”

  “She just ran out the door yesterday afternoon.”

  “Yesterday afternoon,” he exclaimed. “Are you saying she left here and hasn’t come back?”

  Belinda nodded. “We—” She wiped her eyes with the linen handkerchief. “Oh, Reverend, we haven’t heard a thing from her since. Your mother and I have been worried sick about her.”

  Jeth yanked his hat from the kitchen table where he’d tossed it. “Where is Mama?”

  “Upstairs. Mrs. Carr has a bad case of the blues today. Your mother sent Elmer out looking for Honor right after she ran away, but nobody’s been able to find her.”

  He headed for the front of the house. “I’ll find her!” Jeth set his hat on his head and kept moving. “She probably picked up her ticket and took the stage. I’ll look there first.”

  “Wait!” Belinda called after him. “The noon stage had already pulled out by the time Miss Honor left here.”

  “I meant the noon stage today,” he shouted back.

  I’ll bet that’s just what she did, he thought as he reached the front door of the boardinghouse. Then he glanced over his shoulder. “Tell Mama I went after Honor.”

  As he turned the doorknob, Jeth saw a brown drawstring purse out of the corner of his eye. He paused. The purse was on the desk by the front door, and it was Honor’s.

  She’ll need this now, he thought, and grabbed the purse.

  Jeth raced outside to the place where he’d hitched his horse. His jaw firmed.

  I’ll bring her back, if I have to drag her.

  Honor stood with the other passengers in front of a combination livery and blacksmith shop in Falling Rock, waiting to hear what Mr. Kraken would say.

  “It’s too cold to send the stage out again today.” Mr. Kraken had made his decision. “And with the holidays coming and all, the stage won’t be leaving again until the day after Christmas.”

  Honor walked from the depot toward the church. Christmas trees, burning candles and other cheery, holiday decorations appeared in the doors and windows along the way. On the rock porch in front of the church, Honor paused for a moment, remembering the last time she’d been here. Then, shivering, she opened the heavy, double doors and slipped inside.

  A lit cast-iron stove stood to the left of the altar. Honor chose a pew next to it and warmed her hands.

  Her gaze traveled to a Christmas tree to her far right. It looked about ten feet high. A shiny star at the top reflected the light coming from the stove and from the windows on both sides of the chapel. Gaily wrapped presents surrounded the tree.

  She’d run away without the money that she’d saved, and now she had nothing to give Jesus to celebrate his birthday. Nor could she pay back the money she’d stolen, which caused a deep sorrow to spread deep in her heart.

  Honor wiped away tears that had gathered at the edges of her eyes. Two Scripture verses came to mind: “Present your bodies a living sacrifice,” and “Forgive others their trespasses and God will also forgive your sins.”

  Why had these Bible verses come to her at this particular time?

  Jeth had assured her that God spoke to His people in many ways. Could this be one of them? And if so, what did it mean?

  Honor bowed her head.

  “I cannot know all that the scriptures mean, O Lord,” she prayed. “But I guess You want me to give my body as a living sacrifice. If that’s what You want, I’m willing. But I’m not so sure about forgiveness. How can I forgive Lucas?”

  She’d hoped her prayer would destroy the dismal feelings deep inside her—that a rush of happiness would flow from her heart, but it didn’t happen. Blinking back tears, she wondered: Did the Lord expect her to forgive Lucas no matter what he had done? Honor shook her head.

  “I can’t forgive yet, Lord. But I’ll give You my body as a living sacrifice.”

  Honor found a pen and sheets of paper in the foyer. Seated at a writing desk nearby, she wrote the Lord a letter, promising to do what she could and thanking Him for loving her. Although she knew how to pray now, a letter still seemed right. When she finished, she dropped her letter in an empty collection plate exactly like the one from which she had taken the money.

  Alone in the cold and drafty church, Honor prayed for a long time. She didn’t know where she should go now, and sought God’s help.

  After Lucas had come into her life, Honor had withdrawn deeper and deeper into a shell, a private place where she’d been safe, but imprisoned. However, God’s love had freed her from it and opened the doors of her heart. Honor knew that now, whatever happened, she would be all right. She no longer had to live in lonely isolation.

  At sunset, she glanced out a church window just as a man rode up on horseback. As he dismounted, her heart jumped for joy. It was Jeth.

  Why had he come? And what could she possibly say to him? Would he scold her for running away again? Or demand that she tell him about her uncle? She had no choice but to reveal the truth now. It wouldn’t be right for Honor, a Christian, to lie to him, especially in a church on Christmas Eve.

  His boots tapped the brick floor when he entered the sanctuary. Honor stood and faced him.

  He strode down the middle aisle, eyes on Honor. “I knew I’d find you here.”

  She looked down at her high-buttoned shoes. How could she say what had to be said without crying?

  He handed her the p
urse with the money in it. “Thought you might be needing this.”

  “Yes.” Eyes lowered, Honor took the purse from him. “Thank you.”

  “I didn’t come just to bring the purse.”

  She noted his serious, unyielding gaze. Did he know that she’d stolen money from this church? Had he always known?

  “Guess you’re wondering what I’m doing here,” he said.

  “That question crossed my mind.”

  “Why don’t we sit down?” He gestured toward one of the pews. “This could take time.”

  “I have something I need to do first.”

  Honor went to the collection plate, opened her purse and placed all the money on top of her letter. Merry Christmas, Lord. A good feeling swept over her. Honor turned. As she started back up the center aisle, Jeth seated himself.

  “I prayed you would give the money to the Lord,” he said. “I’m so proud of you.”

  Honor stood in the aisle next to Jeth’s pew, resting her hand on the carved arm of the wooden bench. For a long time, she’d thought Jeth had seen her take the money. Now she had to know for sure.

  “You were the man standing in the foyer the morning of the first stage robbery, weren’t you, Jeth?”

  “Yes.”

  “And you’ve known I stole from this church all along, haven’t you?”

  He nodded.

  “Then why didn’t you tell me sooner? Why did you leave me dangling all this time? I kept wondering what you would do when you found out.”

  “I was waiting for you to tell me about it, and now you have.”

  “So, what will you do now?” she asked.

  “You may recall that I have a question to ask you.” He smiled. “The question I was about to ask you before Mrs. Grant rushed in the kitchen and told us about the stage robbery.”

  “What question is left to ask?”

  He moved over, making room for her beside him. “First, will you please sit down?”

  Honor did as he requested.

  “Now,” he went on. “I want to explain why I was late getting back to the boardinghouse after the stage robbery. Remember? I’d promised to go back and help you care for your uncle.”

  “Why didn’t you?”

  He told her about becoming a deputy, catching the robbers, worrying that he might have been the one who shot the wounded outlaw. Everything else that had happened after he left the boardinghouse tumbled out as well.

  “I questioned whether or not I should continue as a pastor. But I’ve prayed a lot since then.” He gazed down at his hands, folded loosely between his knees. “I think the Lord has given me some answers.”

  “What answers?”

  Turning toward her, he put his arm on the back of the pew. “I’m to continue as a pastor.”

  “That’s no surprise.”

  His arm curled around her. In his embrace, she felt safe and loved for the first time in ages. But it couldn’t last. Why didn’t Jeth know that?

  “I’ve also done some thinking,” he added. “And I want you to tell me about your uncle.” He gently pressed his hand on her upper arm. “Will you please do that now?”

  Honor’s lips turned down. Tears gathered. She cleared her throat. “If I hadn’t left when I did, he would have forced me to marry him. Or worse.”

  “Oh, my sweet darling.” He kissed her eyes, her cheeks, her forehead.

  He still held her close, and she thought she could hear his beating heart. She knew she felt hers.

  “I love you, Honor. And I want you to be my wife.”

  A rush of joy filled her heart. But it was soon drowned beneath a flood of guilt and despair.

  She could never be Jeth’s wife. He was a minister of the Lord, an upright man, and she was a common thief. Why, she was no better than the gang of outlaws whom Jeth had brought to justice.

  Honor had loved Jeth almost from the moment they met, and she had secretly hoped he felt the same way. Yet, even after she had revealed everything, she felt unworthy of his love.

  “I have to get out of here.” She broke free of his embrace and raced outside, into the cold night.

  “Honor, wait!”

  Everything that had happened since the day of her aunt’s burial flashed before her. Even as she ran blindly through the darkness, she knew Jeth was right behind her.

  His arms circled her. She felt his breath on the back of her neck.

  “I’m not worthy to be a pastor’s wife!”

  “I’m not worthy to be a pastor. Nobody is. I’m not worthy to preach the Gospel of Jesus Christ, but the Lord called me to do it.”

  “It’s not the same.”

  “Yes, it is.” His soft breath tickled her ear. “A person’s sins can be forgiven, Honor, every single one of them. But only if that person truly repents and believes in the Lord.

  “Jesus paid for your sins on the cross, and He paid for mine. Believe it. In fact, Jesus paid for the sins of everybody who truly turns to Him.” Jeth turned her body around, forcing her to face him. “Honor, I’m asking you to be my wife.”

  “I…I can’t.”

  “Yes, you can.”

  His mouth found hers. Her pulse quickened, and her heart hammered inside her chest. A wonderful joy and sense of fulfillment swept over her.

  She responded willingly, openly, lovingly. Even if he decided to walk away, she would have this moment to remember and cherish forever.

  At last, he pulled his mouth from hers. “You said you wouldn’t marry me,” he said tenderly. “But your lips say that you will. Who am I to believe?”

  Honor couldn’t come up with an answer because she couldn’t speak. Instead, she reached up on tiptoes and kissed him again.

  He grinned. “I like the way you answer questions. And I take it that your answer is yes. Am I right?”

  “Yes,” she said breathlessly. “Yes, yes. yes.”

  Down the street, the church bells rang out seven times.

  “If that’s not a confirmation of our decision, I don’t know what is,” Jeth said.

  Riding double, Jeth and Honor went back to Hearten, arriving before daylight on Christmas morning. In the darkened parlor of the boardinghouse, Jeth lit candles and started a fire in the hearth. Honor saw gifts under the tree.

  He picked up a small wrapped package and handed it to her. “This is for you.”

  “Me?” Honor touched the soft material of a bow with a pink, silk rose in the center. “How beautiful.”

  “It’s the Rose of Sharon.”

  “What a lovely thought.” She studied the flower for a moment longer, then she turned back to Jeth. “I have a present for you, too.” She handed him a package. “Please, open mine first. It’s not much, but a lot of love went into making it.”

  Jeth sat down on the rag rug, pulled back the green bow, and ripped open his gift. Honor knelt beside him. In the glow of candlelight, Jeth’s eyes shimmered with happiness. Lifting the blue socks from the box, he studied them closely.

  “Thank you, Honor. You couldn’t have given me anything I wanted or needed more.”

  Honor sat back on her heels and smiled. She knew she should open her gift slowly, carefully and soberly, the way her aunt had taught her. She took the pink rose and tucked the stem in the buttonhole of her brown coat. Then she tore into the tiny package with the same gusto that Jeth had shown, leaving white paper and pink ribbons in a pile on the floor.

  An even smaller box waited inside the first one. She opened the lid, and a pearl ring stared back at her. The gold setting had been fashioned with gold filigree. The one pearl was large and white, gleaming against the red velvet lining of the box.

  “Oh, how beautiful!”

  “It’s an engagement ring. And I bought it weeks ago.”

  “Weeks ago? Why didn’t you tell me what you were feeling? I thought you liked Lucy Jordan.”

  “I do like Lucy Jordan, but I’m in love with you.”

  He leaned over and kissed her again. Gladness, as sparkling and glow
ing as a hundred flickering candles, filled her heart.

  Her pearl necklace was hidden inside her clothes for safekeeping. She reached inside her collar and pulled out the pearls for Jeth to see. Lifting her pearl engagement ring to her throat, she placed the ring next to the necklace.

  “See? They are a perfect match.”

  “Just like we are,” he said.

  “Yes, just like we are.” Honor offered him her hand. “Put my ring on my finger for me, please.”

  “With pleasure.”

  In spite of the joy she felt, she still hadn’t forgiven Lucas. As a Christian, she needed to. It wouldn’t be easy, but if Jeth could take her into his home and heart, knowing what she’d done, could she do any less for Lucas?

  Now she had another gift to give Jesus. “I’ve decided to forgive Lucas. It’s time. As soon as it’s light, I’ll go and tell him, face-to-face.”

  Honor rose from the floor, walked to the east window and looked out. Beyond the hills, the sun was emerging over the horizon, bathing the entire valley in a golden glow. Jeth came up beside her and put his arm around her. Filled with contentment, Honor watched a glorious sunrise, safe in Jeth’s warm embrace.

  Later he gave her a tender squeeze. “I guess we should go on in and see our uncle now.”

  She nodded. “Yes.”

  Hand and hand, Honor and Jeth walked through the arched doorway and into the entry hall.

  Forgive Lucas, Lord, she prayed silently. He knew not what he did.

  Tears stung the edges of her eyes. For the first time since she’d arrived in Hearten, Honor thought she knew the Lord and His blessings in a personal way.

  In one of his Sunday night sermons Jeth had said that a long time ago, Christians greeted each other by saying “Jesus is Lord.” And others replied by saying, “He is Lord, indeed.” Jeth had also said that only true believers called Jesus “Lord.” She’d never understood the sermon’s meaning—until now. Jeth had also preached that it was wrong to keep one’s faith hidden from the world, that Christians should wear their faith proudly for everyone to see.