Emma's Secret

by Barbara Taylor Bradford

  Linnet’s hands went up onto the nape of his neck, into his thick dark hair, and her fingers felt strong and firm on him.

  Julian’s desire for her was intensifying, and to such an extent he thought he would burst. They had been apart for weeks now, weeks that had seemed endless, and during that time he had constantly thought about her, dreamed about her; she had rarely been out of his mind. And of course he had fantasized about making love to her, being with her like this.

  He was terribly excited, his emotions high, his physical desire flaming through him. He wanted to enter her, to sink into the deepness of her, into her core. And yet he did not want to rush; he wanted to prolong these moments, savour them, and he wanted to pleasure her, just as he had been doing for years, since they had first understood that they were sexually attracted to each other as teenagers.

  He began to kiss her mouth once again, and she opened it slightly for him, and he sought her tongue, gave her his. And they were enraptured with each other, joined in great intimacy, becoming part of each other.

  Linnet was on fire, burning up, as she always was when they kissed like this, so voluptuously. She wanted him inside her, loving her, making her feel whole once more. She realized now how very much she had missed him, missed their lovemaking, their shared passion, their extraordinary sexual bonding. He had been making love to her since she was sixteen, possessing her constantly, and with great feverishness, and how she loved being possessed by him with such fervour. Suddenly she felt the pulse at the core of her beginning to throb, and she was damp and wild with desire just thinking about him. ‘Julian, Julian…please. I want you so much,’ she moaned softly.

  He lifted his head from her breast, looked down at her, and nodded. He began to pull off her blouse, and she unbuttoned his shirt, snatching at it, and finally they shed the last of their clothes.

  Julian lay down next to her on his side, fitting his body to the curve of hers. He was silent. Observing her. Absorbing her. He enjoyed looking at her, studying her, devouring her with his eyes.

  She thought how marvellously masculine he was. Long and lean, yet muscular, with a broad chest. He was darkly handsome, with high cheekbones, a cleft in his chin, and eyes that were bright blue, but dark now with desire, his longing for her. He moved closer to her and she felt his hardness against her thigh, and it both thrilled and inflamed her; knowing how much he wanted her sexually was an aphrodisiac.

  After a moment, Julian raised himself up on one elbow, began to stroke her all over, running his fingers across her breasts, down onto her stomach and then her thigh, until they came to rest on the red-gold hair at the top of her legs. Slowly, tantalizingly, he slid his hand down between her legs, which she parted for him. Linnet sighed and her body began to relax as his fingers fluttered around her core, probed and then entered her. She stiffened and a low moan trembled in her throat. He stroked and caressed her until she was crying out, and he bent over her body, brought his mouth down to join his fingers and he pleasured her until she convulsed, her legs stiffening, and as she came for him she cried out once more.

  He could no longer hold back. Gripping her body, he entered her swiftly and hard, thrusting down into the deep darkness of her, loving her. She was part of him, part of his soul, and she had been for as long as he could remember.

  Her long slender legs went around his back, and she locked them at the ankles, locked him into her the way she had learned to do so expertly over the years, the way he had taught her. He pushed his hands under her buttocks, lifting her to him, and she began to thrust her body against his, as he thrust into her velvet warmth. And he found himself floating higher and higher, as if he were intoxicated, and he was. With her, with the scent of her red-gold hair, the scent of her womanliness and her sex.

  She began to tremble, the core of her suffused with heat and opening up all around him, engulfing him. He crested higher and higher; deep shudders convulsed him as he soared and, dimly, he heard her calling his name as he cried hers, and they were united once more, riding on waves of ecstasy and joy.

  The intimacy of their reunion, the power and passion of their coupling after such a long absence left them both shattered, and they lay still for a long time, depleted.

  But eventually they began to stir.

  Julian watched Linnet as she gathered herself together, smoothed her hand through her auburn curls, settled against the base of the sofa, then reached for her shirt, slipped it on, as always a trifle shy with him after their lovemaking. She had always been that way, modest, aware of her nakedness, needing to cover herself, to be proper.

  He smiled inwardly, thinking that there were two of her. The Linnet of this moment, covering her bare breasts, saying little, introverted, lost in herself; the Linnet of a short while ago, soaring with him on a sexual high: hot, wild, passionate. Uninhibited. Joyous. She was the joy of his life. He loved both of his Linnets with all his heart.

  He pushed himself to his feet, bent over her, kissed the top of her head, walked across the living room and into his bedroom.

  She watched him go, then closed her eyes, let herself drift with her thoughts. She was so happy to be with him again, and their lovemaking had been sublime. How had she ever believed that she could give him up? She must have been mad. He was part of her. The only man for her. The only man she had ever wanted.

  Linnet sensed that he had returned, and she opened her eyes, looked up at him. He leaned down, draped a silk dressing gown around her shoulders, and once more joined her on the rug in front of the fire, pulling his own robe around himself, tying the belt.

  ‘You should always wear that shade of blue,’ she murmured, looking across at him. ‘It matches the colour of your eyes.’

  ‘I know. My favourite woman bought it for me.’

  She smiled at him, her eyes crinkling with laughter, then she said softly, ‘I love you, Julian Kallinski. I love you as much as you love me.’

  ‘I know that, Linnet.’

  There was a small silence; she bent her head, plucked at the dressing gown, then went on, ‘I’m sorry…sorry I did this to you…asked for breathing space, and in the process hurt you so much. I did, didn’t I?’

  ‘Yes, you did.’

  ‘Do you accept my apology?’

  ‘I do, but I have a question.’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘Why? Why did you do it, Linnet? I’m still baffled.’

  She nodded, let out a deep sigh. ‘I felt I was being manipulated, that we were being manipulated into marriage by our grandfathers. I really and truly did feel this. After all, the three clans have always wanted a Kallinski to marry a Harte.’

  ‘You’re an O’Neill,’ he teased.

  ‘You know what I mean…a descendant of David Kallinski and a descendant of Emma Harte must marry, because long ago, almost a hundred years ago, at the turn of the last century, David loved Emma.’

  ‘And Emma walked away from him, just as you walked away from me. History must repeat itself, is that it?’ he asked, sounding just a little acerbic.

  ‘No, no, of course not! David Kallinski, your great-grandfather, was a married man, and you know that. Emma had immense integrity and she would never break up a marriage, attempt to build a life on someone else’s misery. That’s why she walked away, but she remained his friend until he died, and he was her partner in Lady Hamilton Clothes for years. Grandfather Bryan’s often told me that story. I know it by heart by now.’

  ‘And I heard it from Grandfather Ronnie at one point in my life. But feeling manipulated is not a good enough reason, Linnet,’ Julian murmured.

  ‘I know. And it was only part of the reason. I wanted us both to be sure of the way we felt about each other. I wanted to let you have a few months of…well, freedom, actually, to find out where you stood with me. You could say I set you free, Julian…you know what I mean.’ She made a small moue with her mouth, shaking her head. ‘I didn’t want you to feel obligated to me. I wanted you to be unattached, in a sense, so you could have a relat
ionship with another woman if you wanted.’

  He gaped at her, surprise sliding onto his face. Then he burst out laughing. ‘You mean you set me free so that I could…play around?’ he gasped, still chuckling.

  ‘Yes.’

  He was so amused he couldn’t speak for a moment, and he laughed again.

  Linnet frowned. ‘Did you?’ she demanded.

  ‘Did I what?’

  ‘Have an affair in the last few months?’

  ‘No, of course I didn’t! I’m not interested in anybody else but you. Surely you know that by now,’ he retorted heatedly.

  ‘I suppose I do. But I did feel we were being pushed headlong into marriage because of their pasts, because the three clans wanted it, and I resented that a whole lot. Also, there was another thing. I thought that once we were well and truly married you’d get bored. That does happen, you know. A couple are together for years, happy being with each other, and then once that piece of paper’s been signed, it comes between them. I began to worry that we’d been together for so long…I thought the marriage would break up, and then where would we be?’

  ‘Oh Linnet…darling, how could I ever be bored with you?’

  ‘Well, we have been sleeping together for ten years…that’s a long time.’

  ‘That’s true, and I’ve loved every minute,’ he said, staring at her, wondering whether to laugh or cry. She had put him through hell, agonies of mind and body for weeks, and all because she was full of preconceived ideas about men and their behaviour with women. But he was not like other men. Their rules didn’t apply to him; he didn’t follow anybody’s rules.

  In a way, she was right about the grandfathers, though. They were to blame, if blame could be attached to anyone. They had not let the matter rest for years, ever since they’d realized, and with delight, that he and Linnet were a twosome. And they had stepped up their campaign this past year, so he knew exactly how troubled she was by their manipulation. He had felt it himself, if the truth be known. He had simply been less affected than her, had been able to shrug it off.

  And he supposed, if he were eminently fair, that many women might well think that a man could become sexually turned off one day, after spending years and years with the same woman, a woman he had known since her childhood. But he was different. He wished she’d realized that about him. It bothered him, for a moment, that she hadn’t understood him better, and then he kicked the thought away, with the force he once used to kick a rugger ball. And then dismissed it completely.

  Moving closer to her, he put his arm around her and pulled her to him. ‘Do you remember what we did when you were seven and I was eleven? Up in the attics at Pennistone Royal?’

  ‘What we did! You mean what you did.’

  ‘What did I do that you didn’t do?’

  ‘You undressed me, without my permission!’

  ‘I don’t remember you objecting, you little beast.’

  ‘You didn’t think I was a little beast then. You were fascinated…with every part of me.’

  ‘If I remember correctly, you were very willing and able, and an enthusiastic participant in our little games when we were teenagers. In fact, you once undressed me, and quite forcefully, and examined me, and did a lot more, I might add. You even went as far as to—’

  ‘Don’t say it, Julian Kallinski, or I’ll—’

  ‘You’ll what?’ he interrupted.

  ‘I’ll do it again, right now.’

  ‘Yes, please.’ Smiling at her, he moved even closer, buried his face in her fragrant hair that smelled of lemon verbena and a hint of summer flowers and cleanliness. Such a familiar scent…her scent. ‘Oh I do love you so very much, my Linnet, my darling, my sweetheart. How could you ever think I would want to make love to another woman? I’ve only ever wanted you…only you could give me such joy, such satisfaction.’

  She smiled to herself. ‘I was your willing pupil, wasn’t I?’

  He pulled away from her, winked wickedly. ‘But you did have the best teacher in the world, don’t you know.’

  ‘Oh I do, I do, only too well!’

  He cradled her in his arms, thinking about her, trying to be objective for a second or so. He knew her through and through, better than he knew anyone else, even members of his own family.

  She was a complete Harte. She had inherited all of their characteristics: their toughness of mind, their loyalty and generosity, their spirit and energy, their many diverse talents, their extraordinary capacity for backbreaking work. All the Hartes were fierce in their defence of each other and she was no different. Touch a Harte and the rest of the clan would go for the jugular. He knew full well that she had never really liked Toby, but she would fight until she dropped to defend or avenge him. That was the way they were. They were abiding by Emma’s rules, as they did in all things. She had set the standards long ago and they still existed for every one of the Hartes.

  Yes, Linnet had inherited all of their traits, good and bad, and their marvellous looks. Not to mention their hot-bloodedness. Emma’s blood ran in her veins, and Emma’s had never been icy. To the contrary. Men had fallen at her feet, and there had been a number of men she had loved, had had liaisons with, and several of her children had been born on the wrong side of the blanket–tribute to her passionate nature. If he was any judge of character, from what he knew about her, Emma Harte had more than likely been as hot and uninhibited in bed as her great-granddaughter was with him.

  But he loved Linnet because she was a Harte, because she was all the things she was. He loved her defiance of the rules, her independence, her pithy bluntness that at times reminded him of her Aunt Emily, and made him laugh hilariously. And he loved her for her sweetness, her tenderness, her gentleness with children, her kindness to the elderly in the family. He knew how much she cared for Bryan, even though at times her grandfather had driven her crazy with his talk of the final uniting of the three clans.

  For her part, Linnet’s thoughts were on her behaviour over the past few months. She was mainly worrying that Julian thought she had been silly. Well, she had been foolish in certain ways; she should have confided her worries in him, instead of insisting on a period of separation. What had been accomplished in the end? Nothing at all. It had only made them both miserable, and been a waste of precious time. No, perhaps not such a waste. Certainly she valued him more than ever…now she suddenly understood that. The very thought of losing him a short while ago had terrified her, filled her with dread, and she had been determined to make things right between them. Immediately. And she had.

  Their attraction for each other was as rampant now as it had been the first time they had made love. She remembered that night very clearly. They had kissed and touched and explored each other for years, and then, not long after her sixteenth birthday, the petting had gone too far, flared into something much more dangerous one evening. She had encouraged him, enticed him until finally they were carried away by their own feelings, and had gone the whole way. Several times that night, in fact. Then they had worried themselves to death until she had her next period. After that Julian had armed himself with contraceptives until she went on birth-control pills.

  Julian Kallinski. Her first love. Her only lover. She sometimes wondered if she had been his only conquest; she was not sure. He was four, almost five years, older than her, and had gone away to boarding school, then to Oxford. Once she had heard her father and Uncle Winston talking and laughing about Gideon and Julian, and Uncle Winston had muttered something about them being a couple of ‘Jack the lads’. Which meant only one thing in her mind.

  But she did not care. Those days had ended. He was carrying a great deal of responsibility at Kallinski Industries, and he would have to shoulder much more one day in the future when he took over. They understood each other very well, and she herself had her own load to carry at Harte’s. In a sense, they had been lumbered by their ancestors’ great successes. Perhaps that was why they were compatible, the shared background and upbringing, the de
dication to duty, their acceptance of the circumstances of their lives. No explanations were ever necessary when it came to work and business. Julian was brilliant, hard working and dedicated, and they had identical values. For as long as she could remember she had loved him; she also liked, admired, and respected him. For her, he was a man for all seasons.

  She stirred in his arms, and sat up. ‘You told me you had a surprise for me,’ she exclaimed, remembering what he had said earlier.

  ‘I do.’

  ‘What is it?’

  ‘Close your eyes.’

  ‘Okay. They’re closed.’

  Julian reached into the pocket of his robe and fumbled around until his fingers touched the object he was seeking. He took it out, got hold of her hand and slipped on the ring.

  ‘Open your eyes.’

  ‘Oh my God, Julian! It’s beautiful,’ she cried as she stared down at the emerald engagement ring glittering on her finger in the firelight. She looked up at him. ‘It’s more than beautiful, it’s absolutely perfect. Thank you.’ Reaching up, pulling him down to her, she kissed him on the mouth.

  ‘It matches your eyes,’ he murmured a moment later, enjoying her pleasure. ‘Do you accept it?’ He drew away, peering at her in the soft light. ‘You know what it means if you do?’

  ‘Of course I accept it, and I do know what it means, silly. We’re engaged.’

  ‘At last.’ He began to chuckle.

  ‘What is it? Why are you laughing?’

  ‘The grandfathers are going to take credit for our engagement, you know.’

  ‘Don’t you dare mention them to me now,’ she exclaimed, but she couldn’t help laughing with him. ‘So this is why you came to the store tonight, appeared at my office unexpectedly and dragged me off, almost by the hair. To get engaged to me.’

  ‘I didn’t know what was going to happen, how you’d respond,’ he replied. ‘But I wanted to be prepared…for any situation. I mostly wanted to talk to you, Linnet, to clear the air. You see, I just couldn’t stand it any longer. I thought I was going to go insane without you. I wanted to have it out, settle it once and for all.’