The Proving

by Beverly Lewis

“I care deeply for you.” His expression underscored his appealing words. “Sure, I have a successful firm, but my life isn’t complete—I want to share it with someone whose friendship I value . . . someone I admire.”

  She felt almost silly for questioning him.

  “Would it be so bad to be in a relationship based on love and companionship rather than need?” he asked so sympathetically that Trina had to hold back tears.

  After a prolonged silence, during which their entrées were served—glazed roast ham for him, and steak Milanese for her—they agreed to talk again tomorrow, following church and lunch. After that, Gavin would head back to Maryland for work on Monday.

  That night, when Trina contemplated everything that seemed to be happening between her and Gavin, she felt strangely at peace. I’m definitely crazy about him, she thought, surprised to realize she could feel so attached to another man so soon after Shawn.

  If it was God’s will, she knew she wanted to cast her fear aside for him. We can have a future. . . .

  The next morning, as they drove to church, she was conscious of a similar tranquil feeling.

  After lunch, as Gavin said good-bye to her in the entryway of the inn, Trina suddenly felt overwhelmed by how much she was going to miss him. She opened her mouth to tell him just as Mandy came in the hallway and started to ask her a question, then backed away, sputtering her apology.

  “What were you about to say?” Gavin asked, slipping his arm around Trina’s waist.

  “Just that I’ll . . .”

  He leaned near and kissed her cheek. “Don’t be afraid, Trina. Okay?”

  She nodded. “I’ll be missing you,” she said at last, tears spilling down her cheeks. Then, feeling foolish, she brushed them away.

  He pulled her gently near and kissed her. “That’s good-bye . . . for now.”

  And hello, too, she thought, wishing he could stay longer. There was still so much to work through before she could commit to his idea.

  She stood in the doorway and watched him walk to his car, and when he turned back unexpectedly to wave, she smiled through her tears. And realized her days in Gordonville were definitely numbered.

  I want to move to Maryland, she thought.

  But how would she break this to Mandy?

  Going to the coat closet, Trina removed her lightweight jacket and put it on, then poked her head into the kitchen to let Mandy know she was going for a walk. “I won’t be gone long,” she promised.

  “All right,” Mandy said, not looking up as she sat at the kitchen table writing a letter.

  Wanting to avoid questions, Trina chose to leave by the front door. She spotted the familiar farmhouse across the way—its windows gleaming in the sunlight—and she was thankful for the breeze and the sun, and the sound of birds returning from southern climes.

  Trina took the shortcut to Arie Mae’s house, heading straight through the cornfield. It seemed like the perfect moment to do what she’d been considering for some time. Perhaps it could actually work, she thought. And after meeting Mandy’s sister, Trina had a hunch that Arie would be all for it.

  Chapter

  33

  Earlier on this particular Sunday afternoon, Mandy had taken Jerome up on his recent invitation and walked up the road to visit her eldest brother and his family. Her nieces Gracie and Marian ran out to meet her, chattering in Deitsch about what they were learning in school. Gracie even took Mandy’s hand.

  They’re welcoming me back, she thought.

  Hannah, too, had been very considerate, also inviting her to come to church again next Lord’s Day. Between that and Karl’s interest in her returning for worship, Mandy didn’t know how to answer. Because, while she was enjoying reconnecting with her family and her friendship with Karl, she didn’t want to let herself become too intertwined with the People. Not considering her long-term plans.

  She had actually lost track of time when the back door burst open and Trina reappeared from her walk. Mandy jumped, startled.

  “Ach, you’re back. Would ya like something to drink?” she asked, pushing her chair away from the table.

  “No thanks, but I do want to talk to you,” Trina said. She looked like she’d been crying.

  “Are ya all right?” Mandy asked, concerned now. She went to the fridge and poured a glass of lemonade for herself.

  “I’m fine,” Trina assured her. She sat down in the spot she’d claimed since that first suppertime meal. “Mandy, I’ve come to realize something.”

  “Jah?”

  “I’ve been standing in your way.”

  “Of what?”

  Pausing, Trina ran her palms along the table, as if searching for the right words. “Of making things right with your sister.”

  Mandy was stunned. “My sister? What are you talking about?”

  “What I’m trying to say is . . . I’m leaving, Mandy. I’m moving to Maryland.”

  Mandy’s thoughts were spinning. “I don’t understand. Did I say something?”

  “Not at all,” Trina protested. “Everything’s fine. Everything’s great, actually. Gavin says he wants to date me ‘properly.’”

  Though Mandy was happy for Trina, she felt terribly sad. Unbelievable as it seemed, in the space of only a few short months, this difficult young woman had become her friend. And now, just like that, she was leaving? “When are ya goin’?”

  “As soon as I can book a flight home,” Trina said, her face earnest.

  “But this seems so sudden. . . . You’ve become my right arm!” she protested. “How am I—”

  “You’ll be fine,” Trina interrupted. “I wouldn’t think of leaving you without help.”

  “But that’s exactly—”

  “Arie Mae wants to talk with you.” Trina blurted out the words. “She’s coming over in a few minutes, in fact.”

  “What?” Mandy’s mouth dropped. “You talked to Arie ’bout this?”

  “It’s okay,” Trina said, motioning with her hands as if to calm a child.

  “Aw, Trina, what did ya go and do?” Mandy felt ever so frustrated as she reached under her sleeve for a hankie—one of her mother’s, with a perfectly embroidered S. Arie’s coming over? she fretted. Now?

  Glancing out the window, Trina said, “It’s best if the two of you talk alone.”

  Mandy followed Trina’s gaze, still unable to comprehend the pending changes. “I’d rather hear whatever’s up from you,” she insisted.

  “You don’t have to worry, Mandy. I’ll let Arie explain . . . then you two can decide. C’mon. It’s time for some new beginnings.” Trina paused to smile at her. “And if you search your heart, I think you’ll agree.”

  ———

  A gentle knock came at the back door. And although Mandy had been expecting Arie Mae, it was still disconcerting. This had been their home for years, and now her sister was knocking.

  Because of me, thought Mandy guiltily as she opened the door. Arie waited there in a loose-fitting green dress and matching apron, her strawberry blond hair neatly parted down the middle and twisted back on the sides, a black bandanna tied over her hair bun.

  The moment seemed surreal, and for the longest time Mandy simply stared at her as Arie’s eyes met hers.

  Arie’s face broke into a contagious smile. “Is this a bad time?”

  “Nee,” Mandy somehow managed to say, surprising herself. “Kumme in.”

  She offered Arie Mae some lemonade, but Arie simply shook her head. “Denki but nee,” she said almost too softly to hear.

  Another awkward moment passed as Mandy fumbled about, searching for the right words.

  “I s’pose ya know I had an unexpected visitor this afternoon,” Arie began, arching her back as she lowered herself slowly into the chair, great with child as she was.

  Mandy nodded and took a seat at the head of the table. Just then, all she could think of was confronting Arie Mae five years ago about Josiah—and how Mandy had left within a day for Kansas. “Trina mentioned you were dr
oppin’ by, but she didn’t go into much detail. None at all, really.”

  Arie’s eyebrows rose. “Oh dear, so this is—”

  “Rather unexpected, jah.”

  Arie hesitated, then said, “Really, I’m all for it,” before she even began to share what Trina had proposed. “But only if it meets with your approval.”

  Here, Mandy frowned, hardly knowing how to respond.

  Arie went on, saying, “Trina asked if I’d talk to you ’bout taking her place in the kitchen, at least till the baby comes.”

  Of course, thought Mandy, that would be Trina’s primary concern, considering my less-than-stellar cooking.

  “I’m not askin’ for my old job back,” Arie added, “just offering to help out part-time till maybe Betsy Kauffman or another young woman in the community would want to step in.” She paused, folding her arms. “Does that sound workable?”

  Her sister was being very accommodating, and Mandy couldn’t help being curious about it. Did Arie honestly want to do this? And if so, why? Mandy swallowed hard, remembering the difficult days before Trina started working there.

  “Mandy, I believe you’re still angry at me,” Arie said now.

  “Nee . . . listen,” Mandy interrupted, coming to a quick decision. “Based on what’s happened between us, I think this arrangement could only work if we agreed not to discuss the past.”

  Arie seemed to consider this, then gave a slow nod. “All right, then. I’m willing to wait till you’re ready to talk ’bout it.” She reached up and let her finger slide over her bandanna. “And just so ya know, I won’t accept any pay.”

  This surprised Mandy. “Why wouldn’t you want to be compensated?”

  Arie leaned her elbows on the table. “Well, honestly, I don’t.”

  “If you insist,” Mandy said, still finding this rather peculiar. “So I’ll let you know once Trina goes,” she said, rising to conclude the conversation. As she watched her sister struggle to get out of the chair, she added, “I appreciate your willingness to help out in a tight spot.”

  “It’ll have to be a day-by-day thing. The baby’s due in only six weeks, but surely you’ll have someone else lined up real soon,” Arie said, smiling sweetly.

  Mandy nodded and watched her move slowly toward the back door.

  Arie turned just then. “It was wunnerbaar seein’ you in church again, sister.”

  Mandy nodded, feeling guilty again. All the pretending I’ve been doing. “Have yourself a nice day” was all she could say now, still baffled as to how things had come to this . . . or why she was allowing it.

  Just for a short time, she decided, anticipating a trial ahead.

  She happened to glance out the back window after Arie Mae left the house and saw Josiah there waiting to help her into the carriage.

  Mandy had to look away. This is surely a mistake, she thought, wishing with all of her heart that Trina would stay.

  Chapter

  34

  The very next Wednesday, Trina was scheduled to fly home from Harrisburg. She had stepped outside to ask Mandy a question for one of the guests and found her out hanging up the daily washing.

  Suddenly, Trina came to a dead stop, frozen on the stoop, her eyes wide as she took in the colorful sight of dozens of luminous wings in the butterfly meadow. “They’re here,” she whispered. “Mandy!” she called.

  Mandy hurried to her side. “Didn’t I tell you they’d come?” she said as she gazed with her at the wide meadow beyond. “And just in time, too.”

  “I was beginning to think it was just a myth!” Trina exclaimed, shielding her eyes from the sun as she took in the amazing display.

  Mandy laughed. “It’s been years since I’ve see them.”

  Trina could see that the sunny butterfly meadow was abundant with many varieties of wild flowers, most of which had only recently started blooming. A large butterfly-shaped garden bordered the meadow on one side. Along the north side, a row of mature trees provided shelter for fragile wings on windy or rainy days.

  “As a child, I loved walking through the meadow. Every springtime was like the first we’d ever seen. Mamma always advised Arie Mae and me to tiptoe around the flowers so as not to disturb the butterflies.” Mandy went on to mention a few of her mother’s favorites among the plants—the pink- and red-flowered dianthus, the purple-flowered sweet alyssum, but especially the milkweed. “That attracts the monarch butterflies.”

  “I love that they came the day I’m leaving,” Trina said, sitting down on the step to take a few pictures with her phone.

  “It’s a special farewell,” Mandy said, touching Trina’s shoulder. “Just think. These butterflies are the descendants of the very first ones my Dawdi William Dienner saw so long ago.” She mentioned again the blessing her great-grandfather had so strongly believed in.

  “That’s a beautiful thought.” Trina sat there with Mandy, the two of them looking in the same direction. And in that moment, Trina realized that the botched mystery trip had been anything but a mistake. God planned for me to end up here, she thought, a warm sensation coming over her. He certainly has a unique way of getting my attention!

  “Are you all right?” Mandy asked, looking at her. “Your face is flushed.”

  “Something just dawned on me.”

  “Somethin’ gut, I hope.”

  Trina smiled and glanced at Mandy. “Something very good.”

  She never would have believed it, but Trina would miss cooking and cleaning in this old house. Even more, she would miss the peace she had surprisingly found here.

  During their last meal together, Mandy and Trina lingered at the table, where Trina had served a surprise dessert of rhubarb cream pie, one of Mamma’s favorite recipes. “She only made it on special occasions,” Mandy told her.

  “Then I think today qualifies,” Trina said, forking up another bite and closing her eyes as she seemed to savor the taste.

  “It was Arie Mae’s favorite, too,” Mandy said softly. “We loved when Mamma would make it. We’d take turns slicing pies for Mamma, always serving her first.”

  “It sounds like you and Arie were really close.”

  She nodded. “We were.”

  Trina took a bite of pie. “Mandy . . . what happened?”

  Mandy shrugged. “It seems silly to talk ’bout now, after all this time.”

  Trina put sugar in her coffee, which Mandy had never seen her do. “Try me.”

  Mandy held her own cup with both hands and took a sip, then measured her words. “It was all because of Josiah, which I’m sure you’ve figured out. I loved him since the first day he talked to me at recess, and we quickly became best friends. We did everything together long before we were old enough to date. I wasn’t much older than thirteen when I told Arie Mae that I was ever so sure I was goin’ to marry him.”

  “Well, so how did she end up with your guy?” Trina asked.

  Mandy breathed deeply as she considered that painful day. “Everything changed the Sunday I was too sick to go to Singing. I stayed home to nurse a cold. But then, as the evening wore on, I started to feel better, so I decided to show up to surprise my beau. I wanted to see Josiah’s eyes light up . . . the way they always did when he first spotted me somewhere.”

  Trina’s expression was intent.

  “I went on foot, and when I entered the barn during the fellowship time of refreshments, I saw Arie and Josiah together talking. At first, I didn’t think a thing of it—we were all friends, after all, but then, observing them for another moment, I realized something was off. Arie Mae was acting very different, all flirty and whatnot, poking his elbow, laughing like he was the most amusing guy there. And Josiah seemed to be enjoying it . . . a lot, even leaning forward to whisper in her ear a time or two. It sure didn’t seem like they missed me.”

  “Didn’t Arie have a boyfriend, though?”

  “She had always acted like she wasn’t too keen on havin’ a steady beau. Until that moment, that had actually seemed strang
e to me.”

  Trina grimaced. “Because maybe she was interested in yours?”

  Mandy sighed. “I left before they saw me that night, and waited to see if Josiah would drop her off at home later. And when he did . . . after she came inside, I confronted Arie about what I’d seen.”

  Trina was frowning. “And did Arie admit to it?”

  “Nee. We had a long, long conversation, and she convinced me that nothin’ was going on between them. She insisted that being true to me, as her sister, was more important than any fella could ever be.” Mandy paused and then pressed onward. “And she promised to stay away from him. ‘Even as a friend,’ she said.”

  “And did she?”

  Mandy took in a breath and let it out slowly, terribly embarrassed suddenly. I can’t believe I returned to the past like that, she thought, apologizing as she got up to clear the table. “I know it has to sound like grade-school stuff—two girls fussin’ over the same boy—”

  “No,” Trina said simply, shaking her head. “Not in the least. But what made you leave home?”

  Mandy slung the tea towel over her shoulder and leaned against the sink with a great sigh. She pressed her lips tightly together, still not sure she could utter the words. Glancing out the window at the sky, she turned back to Trina and said quietly, “I found Arie Mae with Josiah another time—two weeks later, after another Singing. I can’t even remember why I bothered to walk round the back of the barn . . . maybe I suspected something. And that’s where I found her, my dearest sister, with the boy I’d always loved, locked in a close embrace. They were kissing, and not just little pecks.” Mandy shook her head at the painful memory. “Worst of all, Josiah had never kissed me the whole year we were courting . . . said he wanted us to wait.”

  Trina tilted her head, her expression sad. “Oh, Mandy . . .”

  “Nee, I don’t want sympathy,” she insisted, going on to describe how Arie Mae had opened her eyes and, seeing Mandy there, had pushed Josiah away. “She actually had the nerve to try to explain, upset about being caught, I s’pose. But I didn’t give her any leeway. . . . I dashed around the side of the barn and all the way home. I could hear her runnin’ after me, calling my name again and again.”