“This lesson is over.” She wheeled and left me behind.
“Oh, no, you don’t.” Long legs are good for some things. I passed her and planted myself square in her path.
She glared at me and started to shove past.
I lifted my sword to bar her passage. “You answer me.”
“Don’t mess with me, big girl.”
But I couldn’t let this go. “She’s a wonderful woman. I thought you were something special, too.”
That threw her off, but only for a second. “You were wrong. Just ask anyone.” She stepped around me, her practice sword loose in her grip because she knew I presented no challenge.
But I was sick to death of being a wimp. From somewhere I found the strength to swing in a downward arc and smack her weapon from her hand.
She whirled on me with a glint in her eyes. “You are going to push me too far.”
“Yeah?” I waggled my fingers. “Come on, then.” I was surely insane. The lessons had clearly demonstrated that she was in vastly superior condition, while most of the muscles in my body were jello. If jello could scream and weep, that is.
You would not believe how much of your body sword fighting makes a person use.
Lightning fast, Glory swept her sword from the ground and assumed a strike position.
Thanks be, I remembered the counter and lifted mine to block. Her blade hit with a crack that echoed down my spine all the way to my soles. I forgot the fancy footwork I’d practiced in my sleep last night and stumbled before the onslaught.
But then I managed to swing into a guard position before the next blow. Another couple of thrusts and counters, and I was starting to feel pretty good about my chances.
Then she hooked one foot around my ankle, and I fell flat on my butt.
Glory loomed over me, sword at my throat. Crazy bitch, I heard Bigot Brad say in my head. She’s dangerous.
“Life is complicated, Eudora. Few things are as they seem.” Her eyes were laser-hot, pinning me even when her blade was removed. “Take Kali, for example. She is shakti, the female energy, incarnate. She has the power to give birth and bring death. To recycle life into new life. She shows us good and bad, but in reality, she’s neither. She’s the universal mother who accompanies us into the darkness, who teaches us to transform our lives by embracing our own shadows, rather than fearing what haunts us and running from it. Death and life. Violence and creation. The balance of the universe. You look at one face and only think you understand.” She stepped away, turned.
“Not a bad start,” she cast over her shoulder. “You just might have promise. See you tomorrow.”
Whistling to her dogs, she was gone.
I lay there with my head whirling. Lorena and Glory and Ray. Life recycled to new life. Embrace our shadows, don’t run from what haunts us.
Night fell before I managed to move.
A woman of Lorena’s age shouldn’t have had to work so hard; her pace was about to kill me, I swear. So I cornered her in the storeroom the next day while she was taking inventory after lunch. “Let me do that.” I held out my hand for the clipboard she was using. “You go rest.”
One eyebrow arched, just one. But it was potent.
“I’m bored,” I said, to spare her pride.
“Then go practice your swords.”
My eyes popped. “How do you know about that?”
Her gaze left no room to hide. “I’ve lived here all my life. I know most everything that goes on.” She pivoted and began on a new set of shelves.
I was not about to let her off that easy. I plastered myself into the tiny space between her and the stock. “People really don’t like Glory. Why is that? I mean, aside from her sweet personality.”
A corner of her mouth quirked. “She is a force to be reckoned with.”
“So are you, but everyone loves you.”
“Not really,” she responded dryly. “If everyone loves you, Eudora, you’re giving up too much of yourself.”
Like I knew anything about being adored by many. “Maybe. I tend to think that having a lot of people care about you means you’re doing something right.”
Her eyes went soft. “Life has not been good to you, has it, child?”
Her kindness undid me. I wanted to lay my head on her shoulder, to crawl up in her lap. To have her tuck me in tight and sing me to sleep. I yearned to hold her gnarled hand. Sit somewhere quiet and just listen to her breathe.
I would have to get away from her scent of old-fashioned dusting powder and endless cups of hot tea before I did something stupid. Like think I should hang around. “I sure hope the part comes today.”
On her face was disappointment. “You still plan to go.”
“Of course. I haven’t found her yet. My sister.”
She looked very sad at that. She hadn’t mocked me, though I could tell that the idea of reincarnation was far-fetched to her. A tiny, desperate voice inside me wanted to give in. To say I’d stay.
But I couldn’t. Glory’s talk about Kali and death and rebirth had to be another sign. It just had to. “I should talk to Tommy. See if he knows anything.” I sidled past her and headed for the door.
Just outside, I paused. “Sleep in tomorrow,” I offered, though it left me breathless. “Let me try it all on my own.”
A long wait, then the tiniest of nods from her. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” With a gulp, I departed.
That night, showered after my workout with Glory, I was restless. Nervous about the next day.
The screen door opened suddenly, and I turned, surprised that Alex would be back this early.
But it wasn’t Alex. “Hey, Red.”
Abruptly I recalled that Val had wanted to talk to me the other night. “I’m sorry. I forgot you needed to see me.”
I had on only one tiny lamp in an effort to reduce the number of bugs bashing their brains out trying to get through the window screens, so his face was mostly shadows shifting at odd angles as he moved around.
But something about his expression was . . . off.
“You okay?”
A quick jerk. “Oh.” A frown. “Yeah.”
“What did you want?”
“It wasn’t important.” He was silent for endless seconds, then held out a hand. “Come with me.”
“Where?”
“Dancing.”
I goggled. “Dancing?”
He pulled me to my feet. “Let’s have some fun. Get the juices running.” There was something a little wild and desperate in his eyes.
“What’s wrong?”
He retreated a half-step. “Nothing. Sheesh. It’s not against the law to want to liven things up, is it? I mean, you could grow roots here. Sink into quicksand and never—”
“Antsy to leave?”
“Maybe.” A pause. “Yeah.”
“Why?”
“Why not? It’s the back of beyond, remember?”
It was. Still . . . “They’re good people. You like Ray and Tommy. Jeremy.”
His expression softened. “That kid has no idea how lucky he is. The old man is cranky as hell, but he’s teaching Jeremy what a man is, how he acts, without saying ten words a day. Just by who he is.”
“So stick around.”
“Not my style, Red.”
“Val.” I touched his arm gently. “You don’t change a life overnight.”
“Or maybe you never can.”
“I won’t believe that.” The jitters that had plagued me all evening increased. “I need to be going, too. I have a sister to find. What am I doing here, cooking and—” I started to pace.
“Becoming a part of this place,” he answered. “There’s no reason for you to keep looking for her, you know.”
“What?” I couldn’t breathe.
“Red, you’ve jumped on this idea like it’s salvation. You don’t honestly believe in reincarnation, do you?”
My throat was too dry to answer. My fingers were clinging to a ledge that
kept crumbling.
“You act as though finding her is going to make you someone better,” he continued, his expression fierce. “You’re already good enough. Why you can’t see it is beyond me. You’re the strongest person, I swear to God, I ever met. You take your heart and just lay it out there for everybody—hell, you even believe in a sonofabitch like me, knowing I’ll break it.”
I found my voice then. “You’re not as bad as you pretend.”
He snorted. “Don’t kid yourself. I’m good at leaving, Red. You . . . you could learn how to stay.”
I never thought I’d pity Val. He’s so much more sure of himself and always has an answer, at least that’s what I thought. Now I wondered if he wasn’t mostly just lonely.
Like me. Only worse, because he didn’t believe it could be any other way. “Where would you go?”
He shrugged. “Wherever the wind blows.”
I hesitated. Swallowed hard before I offered. “Would you want to come with me? To New Mexico?”
“Damn it, Red, have you not heard a word I’ve said? One day you’d look up and I’d be gone. I’d feel like shit, maybe, for a day or two, but I’d do it. And you’d be all broken up and blaming yourself when any fool could tell you that all you did wrong was to take me too seriously. Anyway, if you had one lick of sense, you’d be scared, being out on the road so close to broke.”
I had to turn away from his concern. Of course I was scared. I wasn’t sure I remembered being any other way.
“You have to stop taking stupid risks like getting into a fight with Nicky. Or picking up someone like me.”
“I thought you were hurt.”
“My point exactly. You’re naïve, too trusting. You take on blame and responsibility too easily.”
“While you don’t accept either?”
“There’s no point in it. People get what they want from you and move on. It’s only smart to do the same. But do you get that? No. So I have to worry about you. I don’t do worry.”
He stalked away, muttering. Wheeled and jabbed a finger at me. “I knew better, damn it. I don’t spend time with women who don’t know the score. A little fooling around, some let-the-good-times-roll, everyone’s happy and then—” He snapped his fingers. “Time to go. Simple and easy.”
That he couldn’t see the toll that life had exacted of him was perhaps the saddest thing I’d seen in a very long time. “You always leave first, don’t you? What you really want is the home you never had. There’s one right here in this podunk town. All you have to do is be brave enough to grab it.”
“That’s it.” He threw up his hands and headed for the door. Then whirled on me once more. “I have had just about enough of you and your idealistic bullshit.”
The madder he got, the more cheerful I felt. The more I was positive I was right. I smiled.
“Stop that.”
“Stop what?”
“That. That look.”
“I am sure I don’t know what you mean.” I was all Big Lil, coy and breathy. A little eyelash fluttering.
Out of his throat came a low growl. “Red, you make me—” Abruptly, he started chuckling. Shaking his head. “You are certifiably insane.”
“I’m right, though.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. You ready to dance?” All Mr. Sunshine now.
Well, why not? Night had always been my time up until my car broke down outside of Jewel. I’d had a long day, but I decided I wouldn’t mind a little chance to howl at the moon myself.
We pulled into the parking lot, and I couldn’t help tensing.
“I’ll check inside first,” Val offered. “See who’s there.”
No way. I yanked my shoulders back and held my head high. “I’m not afraid of them.”
“Of course you’re not,” he sighed. Then grinned. “I thought I might warn them who’s coming. Give ‘em a chance to escape out the back.”
I smiled back and relaxed. “I bet they’re quaking in their boots, but hey, check it out, I’m getting muscles.” I did a curl and brandished my tiny bicep.
He dutifully gave it a squeeze. “Oooh, I feel so safe now. All that from cooking?”
“Nope.”
“What, then?”
“Swords.”
He did a near-vaudeville double-take. “You’re kidding.” He peered closer. “You’re not kidding. So you’re the new Dark Agnes, huh?”
I thought of how often I’d landed in the dirt. “A long way from that.” But I couldn’t help smiling again. “I made Glory fight me. I got tired of drills.”
“No shit? How’d you do? Kick her ass?”
“Nope, but I got in a few good licks.”
He waggled his eyebrows. “Girls fighting. I love that.”
“Men are so easy.”
“Hey—” He splayed his hands. “Charge admission, and you could get your car repairs covered quick. Even faster if some clothes come off or there’s mud wrestling involved.”
I laughed, but I was pleased to have surprised him. Impressed him a little, even.
He gripped the door handle. “You ready, Agnes?”
In the spirit of things, I shook a finger at him. “Don’t make fun, or I’ll use you for practice.”
“And don’t think that doesn’t scare me.” He emerged from the car and came around to my side.
I couldn’t help melting a little. I’d never had a man open the door for me before. “A gentleman.”
“Oh, Red, the things I could show you about how a woman should be treated.”
Our eyes locked. Temptation did a quick jitterbug in my chest.
Thank goodness Val broke the tension with his killer smile and an outstretched hand. “Come on, Agnes. Let’s dance.”
I don’t believe I drank all that much. Yes, the day had been long and I was extremely weary, but there was more than either in the way one beer and one shot of whiskey went to my head.
Or maybe it was Val who went to my head.
Uh-uh. Nope. Through With Men, so liquor, definitely.
The evening was a blur of dancing, at first to hell-raising country that got the blood pumping as I circled the floor with a bunch of the guys I’d met at the café.
Somewhere along the way the tunes slid to slow and smoky. Val cut in, locking his arms around my waist and holding me close. The jukebox kept playing, and being in his arms felt natural, the scent of him, the warmth everywhere his flesh touched mine.
It was the smallest of shifts to bare my throat to his lips, to feel his breath whisper over my skin, to let his fingertips tease secret shivers from hiding.
“Come with me.” It was a dream, that voice, a lure to nerve tendrils rising beneath my skin. He drew me into a night serenaded by the purr of cicadas, the whisper of gentle breezes. The trip back to the empty RV passed in a blur, and my senses soon reveled in a sumptuous feast: the glide of bodies over cool cotton sheets . . . the sigh in my bones when he eased my hair from its braid. The tingle as he teased the strands across a breast . . . the warm, wet suckling of a nipple. The wiry rasp of my tender arch caressing the hard curve of his calf.
Longing . . . I became pure longing . . . head arched, back bowed, goosebumps rising. I craved, I was reckless. I was hungry.
I yearned, and I embraced that yearning. And yielded completely, the surrender peeling me open . . . exposing the tiny, frightened creature so long curled inside. In exuberance, in the staggering, sinful beauty of our joining, I wallowed in the blessed absence of lonely. I gave and I got . . . and I lost myself in wonder, forgetting to shield the fragile heart of me now cradled in a warm palm, wrapped in silken comfort. Fed and rocked to sleep.
I’m sorry, Red. The faintest of whispers as unconsciousness claimed me.
“Not me,” I murmured, closing my fingers, one after one after one, to capture the dream, the gift . . . the so-sweet surcease of belonging.
Val watched her longer than he should have. Brushed a kiss at the corner of her mouth, twined his fingers once more in her curl
s. Traced a path down her smiling cheek as she slept.
He closed the door behind him with a soft click.
Confederate Lady Paul Revere
Sophia Porter (1813-1899) settled 1839 at Glen Eden, site now under Lake Texoma. North of here, husband Holland Coffee, early trader, built a fine home, welcomed (1845-1869) U.S. Army officers, including Robert E. Lee and Ulysses S. Grant. During the Civil War, wined and dined passing Federal scouts, found they were seeking Col. Jas. Bourland, Confederate defender of the Texas frontier. While guests were busy, she slipped out, swam her horse across icy Red River, warned Col. Bourland, helped prevent invasion of North Texas.
IF WE REST WE RUST
“Wake up,” shouted the helmeted woman. Her horns dipped as she swung her sword over her head to strike.
I fumbled for my own weapon. My only hope was to leap away from the gleaming blade. Before I could manage anything, she struck my shoulder—
“Pea, you’ve got to get up. You’re late.”
“Hunh? I can’t. I have to—She’s going to—”
“You promised Lorena. Your alarm keeps going off.”
Lorena. I opened my eyes, then yelped when the light hit them. “Off! Turn it off!”
“Not until you get out of bed. You told Lorena you’d take today by yourself.”
“Oh, golly.” I sprang straight off the mattress and nearly knocked Alex down. “Sorry.” I grasped her shoulders to steady her. “What time is it?”
“Five-thirty.”
“Oh, man. Oh, no. I have to—” One foot caught in the covers, and I stumbled.
Alex steadied me. “Take a second to wake up. I’ll start the shower.”
“I don’t have time. Too much to do.” Frantically, I tried to get myself together, search for my shoes, for clean clothes. Last night’s excesses hammered inside my skull. I couldn’t help letting out a little moan.
“What’s wrong?” Alex returned with a mug in her hands, and the scent of it hit me.
“Coffee. You made coffee?” I hadn’t even known we had a pot in the trailer. Then I realized that she was fully dressed. “What’s up?”
The Goddess of Fried Okra Page 19